What lurks in Equestrian Shadows

by Revy

Making Mistakes

The train to Ponyville had been waiting for the two of them, stopped by a royal order. Only once its important passengers had arrived was it allowed to leave the big Equestrian metropolis for the quaint countryside town. Naturally, this unusual occurance had already attracted public attention, especially by journalists, who had flocked to the trainstation to get good pictures of the princess. However, the sight of Cadance alongside the dirty and roughened Lightning Mane had managed to surprise and unsettle even them. Despite his recent deeds, the teal-colored Pegasus was still very much a nobody with a less than trustworthy appearance, which would be enough to let the newspapers of Manehattan speculate wildly about his identity and purpose for at least a few days – until eventually somepony would manage to draw a connection between the uproar on Foal Street and the colt which Princess Cadance had brought along from the big city.

But that was their business, not Lightning Manes. As he arrived with the Princess, a group of four guardsponies had already been waiting for them, clearing a path through the press-photographers and onlookers. Cadance said to Lightning that, once they would be on their way, she would introduce him to each of them and Lightning Mane was trying to already get a first impression as they moved by them, even though he wasn't that excited about it. He just liked to have at least a guess of what he could expect.

The first guard was a particularily tall and heavy, pitch-black stallion with a white mane. He was an earth-pony, easily the most impressive of all ponies gathered at the trainstation and, to be frank, a little bit scary too. His stern expression was probably meant to convey a professional attitude towards his job, but at first glance, it came across as aggression. To make matters worse, he had a large scar dragged across the entire length of his face, reinforcing his „no bullshit“-image.

In stark contrast to the stallion, the second guard was a small, very thin unicorn mare. Her coat was a dab grey while her mane was a bright orange, with streaks of intense red giving the impression of licking flames of fire as she moved. She was less focused on keeping the journalists and onlookers at bay, Lightning Mane noticed, and seemed more concerned with keeping an eye on the surroundings. To do so, she was constantly on the move and she was fast, though nowhere as fast as the third guard.

That pony was a light-green pegasus mare with a short black mane and tail. She was busy pushing an overzealous photographer back as Cadance and Lightning Mane walked past her, but the blue pegasus could swear that she threw him an angry glance as he walked by. Maybe it was just a misunderstanding, he thought to himself, as he had been staring at her cutie mark just in the moment that the mare had turned her head: interestingly enough, her cutie mark was a marble column, but Lightning Mane was at a loss to imagine any special talent fitting to that image.

The cutie mark of the fourth and last guardspony – a warmly smiling brown earthpony stallion – was a simple horseshoe and in difference to the green-coated pegasus mare, this pony's special talent was not hard to guess for Lightning Mane: he was probably a very lucky pony. His bright blue mane gave him a somewhat adventerous and youthful look, but his friendly and sincere smile, as well as his calm demeanor singled him out as easily the most level-headed and perhaps most experienced of the four guards.

„Forget your introduction, seems I already know the four of them,“ Lightning Mane gratulated himself loudly on his keen eye, but thankfully his words were silenced by the noise of the crowd around them. Cadance didn't even notice him saying anything. She calmly went on and stepped into the train-wagon. That was when the full surreality of the situation hit Lightning Mane.

He was on his way to Ponyville. With Princess Cadance.

Could this be real?

Truth be told, his life had been a series of defeats up to now and suddenly he was in the spotlight of national attention. The photographers tried to get good pictures of him, not just the Princess, who herself had come all the way to Manehattan because she needed his help. Lightning couldn't believe it. She needed his help! And this didn't feel like a dream at all, seemed so real. He could even feel the warmth of the bright spring-sun shining down on them. Yes, Lightning Mane thought to himself and smiled, this was the turning point. Things were going to get better now, definitely.

„Do you need a special invitation?“ The green Pegasus with the strange cutiemark snarled at him. He was taken aback so much, that he couldn't even respond, only do as she demanded. Apparently, the two of them had been off to a really bad start, but Lightning didn't feel like adressing it, didn't feel like it was in any ways important to get on good terms with a stranger and a guardsmare. Throughout his past, he had received a lot of antipathy and he had learned to deal with it, either by throwing it back into anyponys face who dared cross him – or by simply ignoring them whenever he felt too tired and the issue too unimportant. This, Lightning decided, was one of the latter cases.

What he had not learnt to deal with, however, was overt friendliness. Manehattan wasn't friendly. At least those parts of it he had been straying through.

„I'm Lucky Horseshoe,“ the brown pony with the thrilling blue mane turned to Lightning Mane, not even waiting for any introduction by the Princess. The train began to move, rattling across the tracks and Lightning replied:

„Lightning Mane,“ short and simple.

Lucky Horseshoe smiled broadly. „I'm looking forward to seeing you work. Maybe you can teach us a thing or two. We're in the same business now, it seems.“ His entire way of speaking was lighthearted, his voice soft and happy. The stallion was easy-going and sympathetic, likeable through and through. Somepony who had no trouble finding new friends.

Lightning instantly hated him.

„We wouldn't be if you had done your job,“ he replied calmly.

For a few seconds, Lucky just stared at him in confusion. The blue pegasus tried hard not to reveal any emotion, monitoring him from the corner of his eye, but not much more. Lucky scratched himself on the back of his head, clueless.

„Maybe we've been off to the wrong start for some unknown reason,“ he said. „Follow me.“

Wearing the bright smile on his face again, Lucky shoved Lightning Mane into the next train-wagon, where the others had already been seated. „This beautiful mare,“ he began and pointed at the princess, „is Cadance – but you already know that.“ Cadance waved gracefully as she heard her name being spoken and Lucky returned the gesture, even bowing a little to her, before turning Lightning towards the other side of the compartment.

„That young pegasus over there,“ he pointed at the green mare with the short black mane, „is Pathfinder.“ She threw Lightning a resentful stare. Lucky laughed it off. „Seems she's treating you to the same introduction as you wanted to give me? Don't you worry, it'll wear off eventually.“ The brown earth-pony put his forehoof around Lightnings shoulder. Which made him feel slight unease. „If you really want to annoy her, call her Paige. She hates that nickname for some reason.“

„Would please NOT tell him that,“ Pathfinder suddenly shouted at Lucky. She had overheard what he was telling to the bewildered pegasus.

„Maaaaaybe we should move on to the next pony,“ Lucky Horseshoe said with unshaken joy in his voice, not in the slightest irritated by Pathfinder, who stared at him in intense anger, as if she was hoping he would spontaneously combust.

„Obsidian!“ he exclaimed and directed Lightnings view towards the great black stallion seated opposite of Pathfinder. It was the guardspony he had noticed first at the trainstation. He seemed even bigger, now that he was inside a closed space.

„Looks grumpier than he actually is, trust me on that.“

It was obvious that Obsidian must have heard this just as well as Pathfinder had overheard what Lucky had to say about her, but he didn't react in the slightest.

„He likes to play the stoic whenever he's wearing that uniform. It's his work ethic, he grew up with it. Rock farmers.“ Lucky shrugged and added: „We'll get new ones soon. Uniforms that is. No longer wearing these heavy metal plates. Maybe he'll open up a bit once that happens, even during work.“

There was only one pony left to introduce. She was seated further back and watching the scenery passing by outside of the windows of the train. „Finally, the grey mare in the back whose hair is so fiery and whose thoughts are so dreamy...“

„Maybe you should have done poetry instead of joining the guards,“ Lightning thought to himself.

„...that's Mercury Flames. She's always got her head in the clouds a bit, but don't underestimate her. That little unicorn is a mighty powerful sorcerer.“

Lightning took a closer look at her. She was still as distracted as she had been, when Lucky started introducing her. Mercury Flames' cutiemark was a silver fireball, barely visibly against her grey coat, had it not been for a thin orange outline.

„There is actually one more pony. Another unicorn. She's back in Canterlot, doing all the background work for us. Paperwork, administrative tasks, organizing... that kind of things. She's from Manehattan too. Maybe you know her!“

This only made Lightning roll his eyes in annoyance. Just listening to Lucky and ignoring his disregard for personal space had been tough enough, but now he was actually trying to drag him into a conversation. „Look, I don't know where you are from...“

„Baltimare,“ Lucky interrupted him. Lightning proceeded, slightly more unnerved.

„But Manehatten is a really, really big city. It is highly unlikely I have ever even run across her, much less know her.“

„You're probably right,“ Lucky was still giving him his friendliest smile. It made Lightning Mane wonder, wasn't he taking the hint? Oblivious to the fact that Lightning simply had no interest in this conversation?

„Still, once you get to Canterlot, I'll introduce you to her as well. You'll like her. Never met anyone so friendly... not even me!“ He winked at the pegasus as he said the last sentence.

„Why should I ever get to Canterlot?“ Lightning hissed at Lucky Horseshoe. By now he was actually seriously angry at Lucky and his stupid friendly smile. „The only reason I'm on this train is to help Cadance with finding out whether her good friend in Ponyville is still her good friend. That's it. I'm not here to make new friends, I'm not here to have pleasant conversation and I'm definitely not here to make any travel plans. Leave me alone, will you?“ By the end of his rant, Lightning was shaking and shouting, drawing surprised looks from everypony within the wagon, even Cadance, who seemed very worried.

„Alright... alright,“ Lucky answered, visibly irritated by the sudden outburst. „I'll just leave you to yourself then. See you in Ponyville,“ he said dismissively and walked over to Pathfinder and Obsidian, taking a seat next to them. Lightning himself searched out the most distant corner of the compartment, seating as far away to the other ponies as possibly and started watching the outside scenery, much like Mercury Flames still did.

For quite a while Lightning remained on that place, sulking, and only occasional taking a glimpse to see what the other ponies on the train were up to. Somewhere in between, Mercury had switched the window for a book, which she was reading just as concentrated now as she had been monitoring the trees and houses outside passing by. Obsidian, Pathfinder and Lucky Horseshoe were engaged in a lengthy conversation throughout the ride and paid him no further attention. However, Cadance kept looking at the blue Pegasus with a somewhat accusatory stare, obviously harboring the opinion that Lightning needed to apologize.

He shrugged it off whenever he directed his view towards the Princess only to find that she was still watching him. Eventually, however, she realized that waiting for Lightning Mane to change his mind by himself was not going to work and walked over to him, placing herself in front of him. Lightning kept tracking the clouds, not directing any attention to the princess.

„I think you've been a little unfair to Lucky,“ she said, more worried than accusing. „All he wanted to do is to get to know you because I told him to.“ Cadance took a deep breath. „Look, we will be in Ponyville any moment now. Nopony can say how our, well, let's call it a meeting. Nopony knows how that will turn out. You may need their help after all. And they're curious to see your methods,“ she added. „It'll be their job to put them to use.“

„Maybe I should ask for a few more bits then, if you're adding 'teacher' to my job-description?“ Lightning remarked sarcastically, but his tone quickly became more serious. „What was your friend like, before all this?“

„Very funny. Easygoing. An artist at heart and always good for a joke. We'd been friends for a long time when she was still living in Canterlot. Eventually she moved to Ponyville. She had met somepony special during the Summer Sun Celebration. I made her one of my bridesmaids and invited her to my wedding. That's when I first noticed that she had changed, that she seemed more serious and a bit absent minded. Before I could adress it, the changeling-queen had locked me up in the caves below Canterlot, but I actually met her once again, when leaving the caves. My bridesmaids were trying to prevent my escape.“

Cadances story seemed almost unreal and she couldn't help but shake her head in slight disbelief herself.

„You think she has been replaced by a changeling?“ Lightning asked. He was focused once again.

„I'm not sure,“ the Princess replied hesitantly. „She was still the same when the changelings in Canterlot had thought the city to be conquered and revealed their true forms. She was there after we cast the spell that drove them out. In hindsight, she seemed … hypnotized.“ Cadance released a frustrated sigh. „I really don't know what to believe anymore, what to make of this situation. That's why I brought you along. This only goes to show how worried this whole affair has got me, doesn't it?“ A weak smile appeared on her face.

„What's your friends name?“

„Lyra Heartstrings.“

The train slowed to a halt. It had been a long ride and the sun was setting on the horizon. Ponyville was smaller than Lightning had expected. Truth be told, he had never before left Manehattan and the rural town was an entirely new experience for him. It was only now, while walking through the wide open streets of Ponyville with its half-timbered houses, that Lightning Mane noticed how suffocating Manehattans backalleys truly could be.

There were few ponies on the street, most of them trotting to their homes at the end of a long day. Surprisingly few paid attention to the appearance of the group around Princess Cadance, some ponies waved their hoofs to her, others looked slightly surprised, but it was no comparison to the uproar that Cadances appearance had caused at the Manehattan trainstation.

Lyra Heartstrings home was a typical Ponyville house: wooden frames, pastel painted plastering and a thatched roof. Cadance looked increasingly nervous as they approached the colorful building, but that was hardly surprising given the circumstances. It was Lightning who, taking a deep breath in anticipation of what he was about to do, knocked on her door. The guards – Lucky, Pathfinder, Obsidian, Mercury – flanked him. The Princess stayed a bit behind.

A mint-green unicorn opened the door. „Hello, Lyra,“ Cadance said with a shaking voice. The unicorn seemed almost undisturbed, her mind clearly not completely present. She kept staring past the assembled ponies.

„So this was what Cadance meant when she said absent-minded,“ Lightning said out aloud, but not even that could provoke any kind of reaction from Lyra. She was completely unshaken by her unexpected visitors.

„Can I help you?“ She finally asked.

„Is your.... umm,“ Lightning stuttered, but Lyra wasn't paying attention to that either. „Your special somepony. Is he here?“

„She! A she!“ Cadance whispered, much to his surprise. The pegasus tried hard to stay focused on the task and for his taste, this whole affair was unusual enough. Now, to make matters worse, he was even feeling a little embarassed, though for what reason, he wasn't entirely sure. There wasn't time to think about it either.

„Is she here?“ He corrected himself.

„Yes,“ came the immediate answer, but without any reaction to the request implied in that question.

„Could you please go fetch her? I'd like to have a word with her,“ Lightning finally added.

Wordless, Lyra complied and walked back into the house. The group had turned their full attention to Lightning Mane. „You think her partner...?“ Lucky brought forward half a question, but the roughed-up pegasus merely shrugged.

„We'll see.“

The mint-colored unicorn didn't take long to come back, alongside a beige-coated earth-pony with a blue and purple curled mane. She looked surprised to meet such a large welcoming committee.

„You're Lyra's partner?“ Lightning asked right away. The pony nodded, slightly irritated.

Without hesitation, Lightning Mane suddenly lunged out, striking her across the face with his right forehoof at such a strength that she collapsed to the ground immediately. The mare went out cold, remaining on the floor unconscious. With some pride in his face over the strength of his punch, the pegasus watched down on her. For two seconds, nothing happened at all. Only then the surrounding ponies managed to realize what just had happened.

Lyra was the first to snap out of it. „Bonbon!“ she cried out in despair and jumped forward to take her beloved partner into her arms. There was no reaction in return, but she was still breathing normally. Nevertheless, tears filled the eyes of the unicorn.

„Oh horseapples...“ Pathfinder then mumbled in disbelief. Cadance was next to articulate her shock.

„What have you done?“ she said with terror.

The entire crowd stared at him accusingly.

„Seems I was wrong,“ Lightning said coldly. „No changeling here.“ He laughed a little, but that did little to ease the tension. Quite to the contrary. Obsidian and Pathfinder shook their heads, Mercury Flames' right eye was twitching Meanwhile, Lucky Horseshoe was tending to the knocked out Bonbon, trying to wake her up again. Even some onlookers had gathered and looked at Lightning with fear over what just had occured.

„You better leave. This whole thing was a big mistake,“ Cadance finally said with a steely voice.

Comments

[Timemaster]

This review is brought to you by the group: Authors Helping Authors. Enjoy.
Name of Story:What Lurks in Equestrian Shadows

Grammar score out of 10 (1 is grammar that needs to be worked upon as basic principles such as capitalization and spelling is an issue, and 10 is impeccable): 6
Pros:Great story, good feeling, and good pacing.
Cons:I think you should Tab the beginning of a paragraph, fix your spelling a bit (It is spelled Whether, not weether), and add some space between paragraphs.

Notes Section: When you fix these slight errors all your hopes and aspirations of becoming a good author will be closer than before, I assure you.

Enjoy your review! Please help me out by looking at my story: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Bits