• Published 12th Oct 2021
  • 326 Views, 36 Comments

The Alchemist - bkc56



A millennium ago, a master alchemist took on a new apprentice. Her insatiable thirst for knowledge proved his instincts correct. And the skills she learned will one day be all that stands in the way of a plot against Princess Celestia herself.

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8. Epilogue

Quicksilver took a sip of his tea. He then reached for another cookie.

Wait, that’s it? You’re just going to leave Ann standing in the antechamber?” Misty asked, her voice a bit higher-pitched than normal.

He nodded. "Yup, I'm afraid so. That's all we have of the story." He set his tea down.

"But... But... What did Princess Celestia say to Ann? Wait, no, what happened between Ann and Thunder Surf? Did he go visit her? And did Ann ever leave her master and go off on her own? There’s so much more to know about Ann’s life."

He shrugged. "We'll never know for sure."

Misty harrumphed, and then with a sly grin she softly said, "You know, that Thunder Surf sounds like a cool pony. I bet I could have been interested in him. And we know he likes the sciency mares..."

Quicksilver choked on his cookie. "What...?"

"Gotcha! That'll teach you to stop when Ann’s adventure as an alchemist is just getting started.” She paused for a moment. “And besides, I really like the stallion I got. I wouldn't trade him for a stable full of royal guards." She nuzzled his neck.

He kissed the top of her head. "I guess that's okay then. So, what did you think of the story?"

Her eyes drifted up towards the ceiling. "Well... It's more imaginative than a pony-with-an-oar, and you are a much better storyteller than I would have thought. You really should write it down. It's a great story. You could fully explore her life as an alchemist, and perhaps even turn it into a book. It would be fun to publish something that's not just another technical paper."

"It's funny that you should mention writing it down..."

She tilted her head to the side. “Why do you say that?”

“Because it’s already written down in Windflower’s journal.”

Misty sat back to look directly at Quicksilver. “She had a journal? And after a millennium, it’s still around?”

He nodded. “Yes. It’s been in my family, passed down from generation to generation over the centuries. Years ago, my great grandparents donated the journal to what was then the brand new Canterlot Museum of Pony History. Their restoration department made an exact replica for my grandparents so we could keep it in the family. My parents have it now. They’d often read to me from it as a colt.”

She squinted at him with just a hint of a pout. “Well, if you have the journal, then you know the rest of Ann’s story. Why are you holding out on me?”

He shook his head. “The years have not been kind to it. Most of the back half is missing. There are just scattered pages here and there, usually with water damage or otherwise illegible. There are also a few blank pages at the end. The story I told you comes from the first half that’s still intact.”

“Okay, so with the journal, we know we only have part of the story. Are we sure that what’s there is completely accurate? Many ponies write as much about their hopes and dreams as about actual events. What if it was little more than a draft of a story she was writing?”

He tapped at his chin with a hoof. “I suppose that could be possible. Although we do have some corroborating evidence.”

“Like what?”

With a devious smile, Quicksilver asked, “So who all was present for those events?”

“Well, there were a whole bunch of ponies there, but they’re all long gone. The alchemist and Windflower obviously. Thunder Surf, and all the other royal guards. And of course Princess…” Her eyes widened.

“Yes?”

“Princess Celestia was there a thousand years ago. She would remember Windflower and all the events.”

He chuckled. “Not only remembers, but she has also confirmed them. She penned a scroll to confirm the events she was physically present for. That scroll, signed by her, with the Royal Sun Seal, is on display in the museum next to the display containing the journal itself.”

Misty sat, eyes wide, mouth agape.

“There’s some other supportive documentation too. And it answers your question about Ann and Thunder Surf. Official records show that she and Thunder Surf were married some time after the events in the journal. She moved to the castle and took the position of Royal Alchemist. They also had three colts together.”

“So it really is all true? Wow. I’d sure like to read the journal myself.”

“I’m sure my parents would let us borrow their copy.”

“I think I’d rather have my own copy. I know it wouldn’t be the original, but it would still be neat to have.”

“Like all their ancient texts, the museum either has a reproduction for sale, or you can special order one. A couple of the books in my library are special order reproductions of ancient texts. They aren’t cheap though.”

“I remember seeing those. I just didn’t think about where they came from.” She gave him a playful push with her shoulder. “We can afford it for a piece of family history.”

“Sounds like a good idea for a Hearth’s Warming Eve present. I’m just not sure if they can get it done in time.”

Misty gave him a flat stare.

“What?”

She raised her head to look down her muzzle. “I’ve seen that big box you think you have hidden in your office.”

He shrugged. “Okay, perhaps your birthday then...”

“I’m already looking forward to it.” She leaned in and gave him a kiss.

“So that’s one of my family stories. Do you have a heritage story you can share?”

Misty put a hoof to her chin and thought for a moment. “Well… There is one I can think of. I have an ancestor, a few generations back, who was the captain of a small cargo ship. The lighthouse was out one stormy night as they were coming into Horseshoe Bay. They ended up on the rocks. Everypony got safely to shore in the lifeboats, but the ship was lost. He took one of the lifeboat oars, slung it over his withers, and started walking inland…”


-- The End --

Comments ( 12 )

Great story!

And we get a preview of the next one as a bonus!

11031409
Glad you enjoyed it. It improved significantly after editing. I'll talk about that and a bunch of other stuff the next two Wednesdays with my backstory blog entries (part 1 and part 2 :trixieshiftright: ). I have some cool stuff to share...

This was a really good read. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think Windflower’s character development underwent a few really good edits. Not sure how to describe it, but something is there now that wasn’t when I originally read it.

Any nitpick I could have has pretty much been hammered out, any other criticisms I might otherwise have would mostly be heavily opinionated towards a few lessons Windflower learned, which wouldn’t be a fair critique to your story thus I will refrain from them this time.

I will say, and I might have missed it, the jump from Windflower being a filly to being a full grown mare threw me off a bit. Due to this medium being text based it's hard to see a difference from a character being a child to then being fully grown from one chapter to the next. It’s not a glaring issue just one that made me pause a bit.

I know a time jump is mentioned by the Alchemist during the graduation chapter, but maybe next time mention it sooner if possible. Again that could just be an oversight from reading this in small chunks over a few weeks so don’t dwell to much on it.

I believe I said this in my mid-review, but I’ll say it again. The relationship between the Alchemist and Windflower is fantastic! This aspect of the story is what could make or break it, but you knocked it out of the park. I believe your editor helped strength it even further as I believe I saw a few additions that weren’t originally there that helped you earn that metaphorical home run with it.

The skills Windflower uses are great! I always enjoy seeing smaller skills being practiced that are then used to solve a big problem. Windflower being able to levitate individual grains or ingredients was awesome to see utilized here. These small details, and being able to see the character train with them, is what is missing from a lot of newer content these days. I’m glad to see you have acquired this skill of showing your character’s trials and errors as it makes reading about the character way more fun and enjoyable.

This was such a good story that I forgot it started with Quick Silver and Misty telling stories to one another. That’s a sign you, and your editor, have done good work with this story.

This is easily one of your best works right now. I’m going to have to work harder the next time I read a story of yours to find errors with it. Keep up the great work! :twilightsmile:

11064720

...but something is there now that wasn’t when I originally read it.

You could say that. The version you pre-read was 12K words. The final version is 22.5K. The castle sequence was almost totally rewritten. So there's a lot of "something" that wasn't there before. :pinkiegasp: See the backstory blog entry for more details.

...the jump from Windflower being a filly to being a full grown mare...

It was more of a gradual thing. A few years learning school lessons. A few years learning alchemy. It adds up over time.

Anyway, thanks for the mini-review (which, in two parts, isn't that "mini"). Glad you enjoyed it.

Finally, I can read this story, after handling all those responsibilities in my real life. This is a new experience to know the old history of this series. I like science and magic are both taking an important place here, these skills make Alchemist different from normal ponies. They are unique. Here's my little suggestion: when you have a time jump in your story, you can describe the difference in your character's body. I was a little confused about how long the time had passed. Besides that, it's an interesting story to read as usual. (I really hope that Grammarly can help my grammar be more understandable.)

11078152
Thanks for your thoughts. Glad you enjoyed the story.

That's a good idea about showing a size changed. Since she started pretty young, she would have grown some during the course of the schooling followed by the alchemy training. It would have only taken a couple half sentenced to note that (door knob easier to reach, table seemed smaller, etc).

11133845
Absolutely right. Good catch. Fixed. Thanks.

That was a really good story.

11594204
It will show up in another story (if I ever get it edited and published...).

11595000
Glad you enjoyed it.

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