Enough Reasons To Die

by Script Singer

Hope

I smiled at my friends as I exited Sugar Cube Corner and waved goodbye. “Thanks again for all the fun girls!” I uttered. Once I turned around, I felt a frown grow on my face as a sudden weight fell on my shoulders.

I slowly walked back to my house, feeling like every single step was heavier than the last. I felt like I was walking for hours by the time I got to my door.

I let out a sigh as I shut the front door, feeling my walls crashing down. I started sobbing as I removed my mask and set it on the table by the door. I can’t take the pain any longer so I might as well just end it.

I walked upstairs to my room, shutting the door behind me and pulled out the knife from my dresser, and stared at it for a moment.

I brought the blade to my hoof and pressed the blade against my skin but stopped when I heard my door squeak open. I turned around shocked, finding Ellie standing in the doorway.

“Script, what are you doing?” She asked.

I turned around letting out a soft sigh as I pressed the blade harder into my skin.

“Script, please put the knife down,” Ellie said walking up to me holding out her claw.

I only ignored her. Ellie walked over to the side of my bed to face me. “Script, please.”

“I can’t take the pain anymore…” I muttered, my voice shaking.

“Script, suicide isn’t the answer. Please just listen-”

I flashed a glare at my friend. “It’s my life, why can’t I make the choice for myself?!”

“Because we need you here! Why can’t you see that?”

“Nopony really cares about how I feel, if they did, then I wouldn’t be feeling like this!”

“We do care! You just can’t see it, would you open up your eyes and see what’s in front of you?”

I let out a scream of frustration as I pressed the blade harder into my skin.

“Script, please…” Ellie’s voice began to shake slightly. “I don’t want to see you get hurt, you’re like a sister to me.”

Hearing that made me stop for a moment. I dropped the knife and fell to the ground sobbing. Ellie rushed over to my side and wrapped her wings around me in a tight embrace.

“Ellie…” I muttered. “I can’t do this anymore… I’m so tired of this. What do I do…?”

Ellie stroked my mane and began rocking back and forth as she held me. “It’s gonna be alright, I promise…” She whispered. “I’ll help you in whatever way I can.”

I let out a sniff as I looked at my griffon friend. “How can you be so sure that I’ll get better…?” I muttered.

“I’ll make sure of it, I promise Script.”

I felt a soft smile grow on my face as she said that, but it quickly turned into a frown. “So… what’s gonna happen now…?” I asked. “Am I going back to the psych ward?”

“I can’t force you, but if you want to go back, you can. It’s your choice. But it wouldn't hurt to go back."

I hung my head and nodded. "I think that might be what's best for now. Maybe for just a few days.”

Ellie pulled me in for another hug, holding me tight. “Want me to walk you over?”

I nodded my head as I got up from my bed, reaching for the knife but Ellie grabbed it before I could. “It’s probably best that you stay away from sharp objects at the moment.”

I nodded my head as I went to grab my stress blanket and a few other things I was allowed to bring last time. By the time I was finished, Ellie was ready to take me to the psych ward.

---

A few months had passed since that day. Ellie decided to move in with me after I got back from the psych ward and things have been getting better. I hadn’t relapsed since then and it felt good to be alive. I felt like things could actually get better. I heard Ellie call me downstairs for dinner and I looked at myself in the mirror with a smile on my face.

"You are stronger than you were yesterday," I say to myself.

It's a mantra Ellie and a few friends helped me come up with. I make my way to Ellie and we have dinner. We chatted about the day and my progress on bettering myself. I tell her that I've been keeping a journal and writing in it when I feel down as getting them out helps. I even keep a second journal for songs and other inspirational ideas for when I have good days. I plan to share them with my friends one day.

This whole experience has opened my eyes to help me see how cherished I am and that even if things get bad for me, there's always someone who'll fight to help me back up when I want to stay down. I may have enough reasons to want to die, but I also have a counterpart to it as someone will always come up with enough reasons I want to live.

Author's Note:

Big thanks to my editor Ellie for giving me the idea for this chapter and helping me out with writing it. You're awesome girl! Also big thanks to Lotus Moon for helping me out with the ending, love ya sis!
Also, I do plan to write a sequel at some point

Comments

[Starlight Nova]

Why are you rewriting your old story?

[Script Singer]

10994960
Cause I wanted to plus I had more to add

[hmaf43]

my heart cannot this hopeful ending!

it demanded blood BLOOD!

[Script Singer]

11192630
If you want, I do have other stories with sad endings on my Mensonge Singer account

[MatTheBook]

11242841

https://youtu.be/WNKi6gVcrh0

[Script Singer]

11419449