Enough Reasons To Die

by Script Singer

Reason 2: Disposal

People won’t have to deal with my crap, they’ll be rid of me. They’re all just better off… I won’t be starting any more trouble. Things won’t get out of hand because of me.

---

"There I go again, screwing everything up once more..." I mumble silently to myself as my boss yells at me. I tuned him out, unable to take the shouting, and just nodded my head, pretending to listen.

I do yard work for my next-door neighbor just to have enough bits to keep me above water, but even then, I'm barely ashore... I don't even like my job, but I need the money. So I just suck it up like a big filly and take the constant disapproval...

"YOU ARE NOTHING BUT A BUCKING SCREW UP, AND YOU NEVER FINISH THE JOB!" he yells at me. I shut my eyes tightly as my mane fell into my face, slightly hanging my head.

"Sir, I asked you nicely to please stop-"

"Shut the buck up, and do the blasted job right!"

I try to ignore the words and push down my urge to cry at the flashbacks of my trauma. I just nodded my head slowly and walked away as he slammed the door behind me. Another day in defeat for proper payment. I haven't really been able to focus much lately, due to my depression so it's been affecting me with my day-to-day tasks. But I don't really care anymore, I just want to get it over with... not like I'll do it right anyway, so what's the point in even trying...?

He's better off with somepony who could actually do the job right... not some PTSD earth pony girl who can hardly get her life together... I just lay around all day and try to keep anxiety down, when I'm just making it worse by doing anything...I'm wasting my time... I'm just somepony who deserves to be screamed at, or blamed for something that wasn't my fault, but they have every right to...

I opened my front door as I moved into my living room and began to sob onto my couch.

...nobody will ever understand how I feel...I...just want it all to...stop...I want everything to stop...

....my pain....my sorrow...my tears...and...

....my life…

---

I walk up to Sugar Cube Corner, my head hanging down as my mane falls into my face. I finally decided to open up to my friends in order to try to get the help that I need.

I walk into the shop, finding my friends sitting at a table waiting for me.

“Hey, Script! Over here” Rose called.

I waved as I walked over to join them.

“It’s about time you got here!” Lilly said. “Now we can finally order.”

“Ya know, you guys didn’t have to wait for me,” I replied.

“We wanted to though, you’re our friend!”

I felt a slight smile grow on my face as she said that but it quickly grew back into a frown as I decided to finally speak my mind.

“There’s actually something I’ve been wanting to talk to you guys about lately…” I muttered.

“Oh?” Flame Flare uttered. “What’s that?”

I let out a sigh. “I’ve been feeling suicidal lately…”

My friends look at me in shock, unsure of what to say. I noticed Rose kinda looked away from me and sat there fidgeting. I only folded my ears back as I hung my head.

I felt Lilly and Ellie pull me into a tight hug. “It’s gonna be alright, Script,” Ellie said.

Rose stood up suddenly. “I just remembered I had something to take care of at home, I gotta go. Sorry girl's,” she muttered as she grabbed her things.

I knew she was lying, I could tell by the look on her face. I knew opening up to my friends was a bad idea. I began to sob as my friends all joined in on the hug.