Nice story!!

10781438

Hope that you update your own Rated Mature Sex Stories. Because, I am a reader and fan of them.

would there be a feline and a sheep also in the upcoming future?

10781470
I will at some point. I'm busy on my other pages. I have other stories to do as well

10781503

Like your other Fanfiction.net User Page?

10781506
yes. and my watppad page

10781508

Dang??!! You got all three Fan Story Websites??!!

10781517
and furaffinity.

Fun for everyone involved

10781523

Wow!

Typically, that description sounds like it would be the worst idea ever and would earn someone a Darwin award. But, she is in heat after all, so I'll let it slide.

I'm curious if more pure TFH fics will start to pop up here now.

I'll admit I 'd at the necessary mlp tag though.

Great concept, poor execution. The writing is generic, sentence fragments and incorrect tense litter the text, too fast-paced and there's seemingly no thought put into alliteration so it all sounds clunky. I had difficulty parsing certain paragraphs too like this one:

She didn’t want to appear undignified by immediately getting to it, but given that this wolf was a mere beast, it would be wasted energy. Not to mention that she wanted to swiftly deal with her hot deer pussy.

You offer no explanation as to what "it" is that would be wasted energy. No context at all. You could literally delete [it would be wasted energy] and the paragraph would make more sense.

The saddest thing about this story is its success. Not because I don't want you to succeed personally but because your success will likely give you the assumption that you did everything right. I hope that isn't your fate and in the future, you work on improving your writing.

I'll say this: As someone who doesn't know anything about TFH and was drawn in entirely by the cover art, this is a truly unique and interesting concept to base a clopfic on and I could follow the individual actions of the protagonist. There are plenty worse fics out there than this one.

Definite kudos for creativity. Good luck on your future endeavors.

Not bad for the site's first TFH pornfic.

10786445

I am taking critique seriously, regardless of the rating of the story, so I thank you for sharing it.

Tense issues might have appeared as I am switching between past and present right now regularly as I help a friend to write something. Though I hope my Editor caught the worst offenders.

I was a bit iffy about my writing for this Commission, so it is good to know I am not the only one that felt that way. I will see that I be more careful when it comes to sentence structure in the future.

Only thing I cannot quite agree with is alliteration. It is mostly used in poems normally and I don't think I see it used that often in normal stories. Though maybe you mean used in a very light degree? As in two, three words simply?

Not bad dude!
Now... I am off to read more of your depraved words!

10786445
That's pretty self explanatory and implied but I can imagine someone on the the autism spectrum would have a hard time understanding implications and 'reading the room'.
Your way of thinking is taking everything way too literally.

The context for the "getting to it" is an expression for getting to the task at hand. So in this case the sex.

The "but given that this wolf was a mere beast, it would be wasted energy" bit is referring to the fact of her not wanting to be undignified because she is considered a classy lady but sense it's a lowly wolf she thought there being no point for keeping up appearances for something she considers to be a lesser being.

The fact that you didn't catch what most people with a average English language understood tells me your either way to black n white or not educated enough to read the message not the words.

There is a difference between intelligence & wisdom - booksmart/streetsmart.
So essentially slow or autistic.

10781918
You do not get the Darwin award for the worst idea ever.
So that first sentence contradicts itself.
Maybe you ment something along the lines of, "I thought the consent was terrible but the story ended up making me feel like it deserves a Darwin award."

11019750
If I remember correctly, you earn a Darwin award for "improving the gene pool by removing yourself from it".
cdn.slidesharecdn.com/ss_thumbnails/childfree-definition-darwin-award-explanation-of-childless-by-choice-voluntary-childlessness-princip-170606075806-thumbnail-4.jpg?cb=1496801799
Close enough.

Either way, finding a predator to satisfy your urges... You would be just as likely to get et as to get satisfaction.

I'm kinda SURPRISED This seem like Something that Arizona Oleander or Tianhuo would not Velvet i'd Thought she Would be The last Person who Would be Doing this Just to Get rid Of her HEAT