- Member Since 16th Jul, 2020
- offline last seen 6 hours ago
word horse
"wait, it's all porn?" "always has been."
word horse
Joined 16th Jul, 2020 ·
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Oi. Posting a direct link to NSFW images is dicey. May want to remove that in favour or just telling us the tag on Derpibooru.
I loved the picture.
I'll love this story as well.
Take my upvote!
Second chapter yes please, this is amazing.
10475826
Guy has a point, making a direct link is bad but I think leaving a URL to copy is fine.
Just FYI, you can still see Smolder's vag in that picture. (Not that I'm complaining.
) You may want to edit it before it gets reported.
That reminds me, ever wonder where Gallus was with Dr. Fauna?
10476012
10475826
okay, fixed it. Sorry, I'm still a bit new to the various etiquette rules regarding NSFW works on this site.
That being said would you mind telling me what you thought of the story? It's one of my first smut stories and I could really use the feedback.
10476148
well it was hardly noticeable, like a single line, but why risk it? thanks for pointing that out.
Anyways, what did you think of the story itself? It's my first time writing smut and I really want to know how I did.
10476269
It was good, couldn't spot any grammatical errors, which you can sometimes see in stories, and that does remove some of the appeal for some.
Good first story, hoping for a second chapter
This was REALLY good. You should definitely write that second chapter.
10476269
Sexy. It was a nice read, clearly some serious effort put into your work and it shows. Not much in the way of mistakes, as Navarone said. There is at least one writing tip I'd like to give you, which is to embed names with commas when characters address one another. That helps readers a lot. Here's an example why:
versus
As you can see, a bit of a difference!
One thing I missed a bit was the dominance/submission angle of the pic series. What with Smolder (and Ocellus in some) wearing collars themselves, there's some hints that the girls are enjoying the fact that they're being f*cked by an animal not just for the dicking, but also because it's a dog they're giving themselves to. However, that's something that could come up in later chapters since this one deals with Smolder's first experience!
Hmm...
The sidewalk seems much more sympathetic all of a sudden.
And I live on the 8th floor!
Featured 11/10/2020
Well that was satisfying. It's pretty rare to find a well written bestiality fic. Please continue this.
Hot piece of work
More pls :)
Also:
fluttershy: Did you have fun today?
doggo: woof!
fluttershy: Oh? What did you get up to? *takes sip of tea*
doggo: woof!
fluttershy: PPPFFFFFFFTTTTT
10476269
Linking to the full NSFW image in the "source" link field is also not allowed, sorry. I've removed that.
Best practice for derpi stuff is to just list the image ID number, the artist, or both. Give people the tools they need to find the image themselves if they are so inclined without directly linking to it.
Please make another chapter
It is an ok one. I wouldn't call it great by any mean. Too simple and standard descriptions of the sex act. Not enough explicit details and "flares" to feel the sensations and emotions. I would say though, that may actually be a good thing for the fic's popularity. Most people are not hardcore cloppers like myself, so the average, not-too-explicit nature of it suits them quite well for an easy, fun read. To me though. it is quite plain.
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On this site total I found only 45 smolder stories with both the sex and mature tag. Out of this them this is the only beastiality one. I belive that's part of the appeal of this story, the characters are so rarely written about
Even total there's only 213 stories with the smolder tag, not a lot.
So congratz to the writer. He did something new to the the site
That was quite the loaded lesson she received
Featured! Congratulations
I wonder if orthros likes Gallus too
Beautiful stuff. I looked through Metalhead97's pics that inspired you and I'm really hoping for a future chapter where Ocellus joins in like in some of those pictures. Also kinda hoping for Fluttershy to join in as a "teacher"
You need to capitalize every word in your title, bro.
Might wanna put in more effects from the knot during and sometime later when it POPS! out later, kinda what its made for.
GOOD! Good, good, very good!
knock her up with his pups!
Getting Smut on the featured page is like shooting fish in a barrel. Cant wait for more!
Great start i'm curious on how you'll capitalize on it and hopefully continue
Awesome. Fimfiction definitely needs more variety of bestiality.
If this becomes an episodic story with multiple creatures, even better.
we need moar
I will be excited for when this continues!
Know the picture there and I guess when you continue you'll go with the continuity? Cause I will be ready to be interested.
so come new chapter ?
This was a wild and interesting beginning to a interesting story.
Oh heck yes this got updated!!!
you write anywhere else?
This needs a third visit/chapter.
I need a third visit/chapter!
The writing is so great, the story so damn hot. Keep it coming, please!
When are we getting chapter 3?
10681869
right now
When do we get the sequel where the Orthros gets to fuck Silverstream and Yona as well?
Interesting story. I enjoyed it! Good job. What are you going to write next?
10965037
Well I'm definitely done with this story, no sequels here unfortunately.
But I do plan to dabble a bit more in bestiality, along with a good old fashioned 'wife swapping' story. Both of which will involve princess cadance
10970227
good guess, but not quite. (frankly that set up has already been done to death.)
No, Cadence and Shining will get involved with a couple that's a bit more...reptilian.
good story!
How about a Smocellus insatiable fic?
Don't be a afraid to paraphrase a few things in chapter 2.
We had the doggie and now it's Flutters moment to shine and new angles to it ;)
Might as well give her a bit more spotlight? Just a humble thought