This story sounds like it needs a tragedy tag. Why isn't there one?

10645319
Hmm you're right. I wasn't sure if I should add it or not, but I should

10645319
Oh shoot you know what, I can't add it because I already have three blue tags. Sorry for the double reply :P

now I want a sequel to this...idk why

I enjoyed this, but personally, I felt there could’ve been a little more horror added to the story. I think just adding a few more unsettling elements would’ve made this story more creepy.

10650927
Yeah you’re probably right. It was my first go at writing something like this, I’ll definitely keep that in mind for next time :)

10650984
You’re welcome

10650986
That’s ok, best of luck towards your future writing

Hai everypony, Pacifist here!
My word, this was a great read- a short read too! Or- at least it felt short! 1000-ish words per chapter made me feel like this should've been three parts? Anyway, this was an amazing story to start back my reviews!
The grammar was good- for a self editor like myself; way better than me. I had no issues with anything regarding the grammar. Although I do find it odd how you don't make them say “ ‘ah” or “yer” or “ ‘outta’ “ -but maybe that's a southerner stereotype in writing that I'm used to seeing? But I'm a little glad you cut that out, it would've led to inconsistencies.
Okay, your characterization of the... well... characters- were great. Although, I forgot how Rarity sounded and this helped only a little bit. And she's not light grey- I believe she is white. But- they're basically the same colour... why am I getting so defensive over Rarity . Applebloom felt like herself- SweetieBelle sort of did... and Scootaloo was just there? (more on them later). AppleJack confused me. Spoiler territory.
Now the story. Very short. The characters could definitely benefit with more scenes- especially Lyra before she died. She mentioned something about giving Bon Bon a gift or surprise her, if there was more information on that plus Bon Bon’s reaction to Lyra's disappearance then that story beat would've felt complete. Another example is Rarity leaving the house to warn Twilight- where was that going to go? Would've loved to see a B plot. The CMC appeared a few times, extra scenes with them would've been nice too. AppleJack as the murderer confused me, as I've said before. Did she pretend to act nice and really she was deranged or- was it two personalities? Perhaps it's best not to have that answered. Don't get me started on where Luna was in al-
But I digress. Short stories aren't supposed to have this much thought put into them otherwise it turns into a long story.Actually, I appriciate the mystery behind my two biggest questions.
Even if this was something you wrote on a whim, I think it is an honorable horror story. Good job!
8/10

10766211
^^ Thanks for the very thorough comment! I'm glad you enjoyed this. You're right about some stuff needing more expanding and explaining. Next time I write horror I will try to... not have it be something I write in like a day and a half hehe.

Also the reason I wrote Rarity as being light gray is because compared to a pony like Shining Armor, she... isnt as pure white >~< but that's just me being extremely picky about it.

Once again, thanks for the review! I will keep the cirticism in mind for next time >~<

Neat story, much spoopiness.