• Member Since 21st Oct, 2020
  • offline last seen Saturday

applejackofalltrades


trying to see how many ways i can hurt applejack, apparently Ko-Fi | Pronouns

Comments ( 29 )

This story sounds like it needs a tragedy tag. Why isn't there one?

10645319
Hmm you're right. I wasn't sure if I should add it or not, but I should

10645319
Oh shoot you know what, I can't add it because I already have three blue tags. Sorry for the double reply :P

Ooh, this is intriguing so far!

Uh oh, things will go wrong.

from the moment i read the first 2 paragraphs i knew the secret, the scarecrows are dead people it was obvious.
pretty good story

10646118
yeah i didnt really want it to be a complete plot twist, but definitely observant people would pick up on it. thanks though :) i dont typically write stuff like this, so this is just a starting point

why do ponies love to make stuff out of other ponies ?
its so weird and also its super impractical!!

now I want a sequel to this...idk why

I enjoyed this, but personally, I felt there could’ve been a little more horror added to the story. I think just adding a few more unsettling elements would’ve made this story more creepy.

10650927
Yeah you’re probably right. It was my first go at writing something like this, I’ll definitely keep that in mind for next time :)

10650986
That’s ok, best of luck towards your future writing :twilightsmile:

:duck: why is it almost always Lyra to be the first victim in horror fics

Just then, Princess Luna observed how doors from the dream dimension were disappearing. She realized ponies started to collectively have nightmares-

But honestly, this is creepy! good job!

This meant Apple Bloom was basically by herself, which was perfect. She walked into the barn, taking a quick look around the organized chaos.

I like that :twilightsheepish:

After this- no more open spoilers- this got interesting

spoiler:
She just witnesses AJ murder a mare! Poor Applebloom will be traumatized! This is just a horrible situation :fluttercry:

spoiler : ”No, it wasn’t fabric, was it? It was her skin. The rest of her body was gone, and the only thing that remained was the completely uncharred skin of the unicorn.”

In Equestria, anything goes

Hai everypony, Pacifist here!
My word, this was a great read- a short read too! Or- at least it felt short! 1000-ish words per chapter made me feel like this should've been three parts? Anyway, this was an amazing story to start back my reviews!
The grammar was good- for a self editor like myself; way better than me. I had no issues with anything regarding the grammar. Although I do find it odd how you don't make them say “ ‘ah” or “yer” or “ ‘outta’ “ -but maybe that's a southerner stereotype in writing that I'm used to seeing? But I'm a little glad you cut that out, it would've led to inconsistencies.
Okay, your characterization of the... well... characters- were great. Although, I forgot how Rarity sounded and this helped only a little bit. And she's not light grey- I believe she is white. But- they're basically the same colour... why am I getting so defensive over Rarity :raritydespair: . Applebloom felt like herself- SweetieBelle sort of did... and Scootaloo was just there? (more on them later). AppleJack confused me. Spoiler territory.
Now the story. Very short. The characters could definitely benefit with more scenes- especially Lyra before she died. She mentioned something about giving Bon Bon a gift or surprise her, if there was more information on that plus Bon Bon’s reaction to Lyra's disappearance then that story beat would've felt complete. Another example is Rarity leaving the house to warn Twilight- where was that going to go? Would've loved to see a B plot. The CMC appeared a few times, extra scenes with them would've been nice too. AppleJack as the murderer confused me, as I've said before. Did she pretend to act nice and really she was deranged or- was it two personalities? Perhaps it's best not to have that answered. Don't get me started on where Luna was in al-
But I digress. Short stories aren't supposed to have this much thought put into them otherwise it turns into a long story.Actually, I appriciate the mystery behind my two biggest questions.
Even if this was something you wrote on a whim, I think it is an honorable horror story. Good job!
8/10

10766161
Haha there's just something about her I guess

10766172
Hah. True. Didn't even think about that that be honest :P
And thanks ahaha

10766211
^^ Thanks for the very thorough comment! I'm glad you enjoyed this. You're right about some stuff needing more expanding and explaining. Next time I write horror I will try to... not have it be something I write in like a day and a half hehe.

Also the reason I wrote Rarity as being light gray is because compared to a pony like Shining Armor, she... isnt as pure white >~< but that's just me being extremely picky about it.

Once again, thanks for the review! I will keep the cirticism in mind for next time >~<

Dun dun duuuuuuuuuuuuuuun!

I thought it might be something similar to this explanation. My own personal guess was that they were doing it to appease some greater horror that slumbered beneath the town. Kinda like how they placate the Ancient Ones in Cabin in the Woods.

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