The Feel of Live Steel

by Mockingbirb

The Leaf Turns

"One thing I don't understand," Twilight said as she and Sunset walked down the hall, "is why all these high school students are wearing swords."

"Oh!" Sunset said. "I can see how you'd find that confusing. I guess it started in the last few years. A lot of the hyuu-mans here say, if you don't carry a sword, how will you protect yourself from some other hyuu-man who IS carrying a sword?"

"Um...prohibit swords on the school grounds?" Twilight said. "Don't high school kids get into a lot of trouble if you let them carry swords?"

"If you don't let them carry swords when they're high school students, how will they already know what to do with a sword when they grow up?" Sunset asked. "I'm not speaking for myself, it's just what a lot of the hyuu-mans here say. And I have to admit, most of the students do survive long enough to graduate. It might be a crazy system, but I guess even crazy systems can kind of work if everyone tries to make them work."

"Speaking of crazy systems," Twilight said, "why does this school just happen to have a repository for stolen magic crowns? Why was the principal even involved in the crown thing?"

Sunset stopped at a display case made of sword-proof glass. Inside the case, three large photographs each showed Wallflower Blush wearing a fancy dress and a cheap-looking plastic toy crown. "By coincidence, instead of having real royalty and a real crown, Canterlot High has a yearly tradition of picking someone to be the Prom Royalty, and giving them a fake crown."

"Ha ha!" Twilight replied, "You can't tell me that anyone would care about winning a toy crown! These are high school students. They're far too mature to take a contest for toys seriously."

Sunset shook her head. "You'd be surprised. Every year, several students get stabbed over it."

Twilight frowned. "This place is so crazy, soon nothing will be able to surprise me. It won't even matter whether it makes sense."

"So," Sunset said, "I have a plan. What happened before is, I secretly stole the school's toy crown so I could swap it for your real crown when I was in Equestria. I hoped the switcheroo might confuse you in the dark while you were half-asleep. Or even in the light for like, ten or twenty seconds."

Twilight remarked, "It seems like you do a lot of burglary. Are you really good at picking locks?"

"The locks here are TERRIBLE. Nocreature here even bothers with property crimes, they're only interested in physical assault, deadly assault, manslaughter, and murders in all the degrees."

"This school gives degrees in murder?" Twilight exclaimed. "No wonder everycreature carries a sword."

"The degrees aren't OFFICIALLY in murder," Sunset argued, "but...oh, by the time someone graduates after four years of learning to survive here, I guess it's close enough."

Twilight nodded with apparent satisfaction. "Celestia was right. Foreign cultures really are fascinating. All the ways different creatures have found to live--"

"And die!" someone said behind them.

Sunset turned around. "Hello, Rainbow."

"Oh!" Twilight said. "You look familiar. Are you a really cool athlete who's good at sports and totally awesome?"

Rainbow Dash winced. "Don't make fun of me! You don't even know me."

Sunset said, "Rainbow is kind of cool, once you get to know her. But most people here just can't see it."

Rainbow frowned. "It's because I only really like to play THOSE sports, like baseball and soccer and hockey. You know, the nerd sports where you don't kill anyone."

Sunset said heatedly, "If you fast-pitch a baseball and hit someone in the head hard enough, you can take them down almost as well as if you'd stabbed them! And hockey sticks hurt too."

"Yeah," Rainbow conceded, "but you don't get points for it. They call a foul and if you keep doing it, the umpires might just let the other team win the game."

Sunset shook her head. "It's unfair."

Rainbow replied, "I kind of like it. I like being able to win a game without even having to hurt anyone."

Twilight said, "I like games where you don't have to kill anyone too!" She reached out her hand. "I'm Twilight Sparkle. I'm--"

Sunset interrupted, "Twilight is visiting from my hometown! Where she lives."

"Huh," Rainbow said. "Another Caneighdian exchange student. What are the odds?"

"Pretty good," Sunset said, "considering that Caneighda is the closest mostly English-speaking country other than Mexicolt. It's literally just a long bus ride. Yup, nothing weird or suspicious about this at all."

Twilight interrupted, "I want to hear more about what happened to my crown. Did you 'return' it to your local principal because you thought it would be good to hide it where no one would be able to tell the difference for maybe ten or twelve seconds?"

Sunset laughed with embarrassment. "No. Principal Celestia noticed our school's crown was missing, she went looking for it, and she caught me fair and square. But people here are mostly concerned with crimes that at least draw blood, so she said if I do detention or community service, that's good enough."

"Oh!" Rainbow Dash said. "Are you planning a heist? I always wanted to be a cunning cat burglar, who uses daring athletic skills instead of boring old violence."

Twilight remarked, "I have a simpler solution." She knocked on a door labeled "PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE."

After a moment, the door opened. "Hello?" said a tall woman with oddly multi-colored hair. "I don't think I've seen you before."

Twilight replied, "I'm an exchange student. My paperwork might not show up until later this week. But I'd like to attend some classes and get to know the school before then." Twilight reached into her carryall bag, and pulled out a toy crown.

Celestia looked stern. "Sunset! Do you have anything to do with this?"

Twilight interrupted, "I found this! And Sunset said she thought it looked like something that belongs to your school. Also, Sunset found something that belongs to me, and I guess you stole it from her by mistake?"

Celestia accepted the toy crown, examined it closely, and blushed. "I'm so sorry!" she said. "Please come into my office. All three of you, if you'd like."

In the office, Celestia opened an unlocked cabinet, took out the priceless Equestrian artifact, and handed it to Twilight, who hid it in her bag.

"Thank you so much!" Twilight said. "I was afraid maybe this would turn into some kind of complicated mess to fix. But it turns out all I needed to do was go to the local lost & found."

Celestia said, "I'm so happy I could help. I am a bit puzzled, though. Why does an exchange student have a crown like this?"

Twilight laughed nervously. "I...I'm not supposed to tell anyone. But I guess I can trust you. I'm here undercover, using a false identity. Because if anyp-anycre--anyone knew I was royalty, it would be hard to be a normal exchange student."

Celestia smiled a bit fixedly. "Yes, I can see how that could cause problems. I don't need to know all the details. Just be a normal high school age girl, and everything should be fine."

Twilight stopped trying to scratch her stomach with one of the rear hooves she no longer had. She had been distracted by her inability to reach. "I'm sorry? Were you saying something?"

Celestia's smile thinned. "I'm sure you can handle it. Your...assistants must have taught you proper etiquette for any situation, right? I'm sure you're well prepared for a high school."

Twilight laughed. "Would you believe no one told me anything whatsoever about what to expect here? For all I knew, this school was going to be full of horses."

Celestia leaned over towards Sunset, and whispered something.

"No, it'll be fine!" Sunset insisted in a normal voice. "I'll be sure to teach her everything about how people act in this country. All we have to do is make sure to keep her secret a secret."

Celestia nodded. "Well, I leave it in your capable hands, Sunset. Good luck." She looked at the door in a way that prompted the three visitors to take their leave.

In the hallway, Twilight reached into her bag and felt her crown. "Well, that's taken care of. Mission accomplished!"

Rainbow looked amazed. "Are you really a real royal? Are you a princess, or a queen?"

Sunset grabbed Rainbow Dash, and whispered, "What part of SECRET don't you understand?"

Twilight asked, "What's a queen?"

Dash looked incredulous. "You don't know what a queen is?"

Twilight shrugged. "Never heard of it."

Dash guffawed. "I think you're trying TOO HARD, Twilight. Even any Amareican high school student knows what a queen is."

"Oh!" Twilight replied. "Of course I know what that is. I was only kidding. I know lots of things about Amareica."

Sunset sighed. "Maybe it would be better if you just make a break for it, Twilight."

"What?" Twilight asked.

"If you cut and run. If you go back home, while you've still got what you came for."

"You mean, a murder degree? Was that the graduation ceremony just now?"

"No! While you still have the thing that I stole and then Celestia stole from me!"

Twilight looked disgusted. "Sunset, I think maybe you're not very good with secrets."

"Well, I never even had any friends before I came to this country. I haven't practiced lying about my friends, or keeping secrets for them. Maybe I AM no good at it. I'm sorry. But even if I'm no good at it, I'll still try not to tell anyone that you're a--" Sunset fell silent.

"A what?" said a voice behind Twilight. "A what?"

"Er, nothing," Sunset said. "A nothing, a nobody, not worth your time."

Twilight and Rainbow turned to see Wallflower Blush. "Uh, hello," Twilight said.

Wallflower smiled like a cat that had cornered a mouse, if cats smiled. "Sunset keeps saying that you're a nobody. And I shouldn't be interested in you." Wallflower's smile grew even bigger. "Sunset is a terrible liar."

Sunset said, "I'm SO TERRIBLE at this! I'm so sorry."

"Some people think I'm just a dumb jock," Wallflower remarked. "But I can put two and two together. The way Sunset was kneeling in front of you. The way that when I first met you, you talked like some old Three Mooseketeers story. Even the rumors about something you lost, that you're looking for. Something that only CERTAIN PEOPLE are entitled to have, or to wear."

Wallflower lunged forward, kneeling at Twilight's feet. Twilight looked very confused.

"Ever since I was a little girl," Wallflower said, clasping her hands together, "I've always wanted to be a knight! And I know you have the connections to make me one. I don't know if you're a princess, or a queen, or a duchess or what. But I want to find out! I want to know! I want you to take me into your court, and knight me for real!"

"Wow," Rainbow said. "This is SO AWESOME!"

Sunset sighed a long sigh. "This is going to be one interesting bus ride to Caneighda."

Twilight thought for a minute, looking down at the pleading ruffian and school bully. She took a deep breath. "I'll think about it," she said. "It's not easy to become a knight. It's a much higher calling than bullying high school kids."

"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Wallflower replied.

Twilight said sternly, "I did NOT say yes."

"I know. Your highness, or your...whatever you are. But you said you'll think about it. That's all I can ask of you, your...whatever."

Twilight sighed. "Call me Twilight."

"Oh," Wallflower said. "I get it. That's your...cover identity. I can totally call you that. Just like a good knight would." She winked. "I will protect you and your secrets with my life, milady!"

"Would you would do anything for her?" Sunset asked.

"Fain I would," Wallflower answered. "Is that how you say it? I was never as good with the old fashioned knight talk as I was at whacking people with my sword. Please forgive me, your..TWILIGHT."

"If you would do anything to protect her," Sunset remarked, "maybe we should protect her health by letting her eat lunch."

"Yes!" Wallflower said. "Let's all go to lunch together!" She looked uncertain. "If I'm not being too forward...Twilight."

Twilight laughed nervously. "Let's go have lunch, everypon--everyone."

The four girls walked towards the cafeteria.

Author's Note

Twilight has recovered her stolen crown, and made "friends" with Wallflower Blush. So everything should be fine from here on out, right?

Is this really the end? Or should I maybe try to keep going?

If you enjoyed this story, you can upvote and comment! You can favorite this story and follow me and all that.

Do you want to read a story that doesn't glamorize self-harm and suicidal depression? Monochromatic's "The Choices We Make" is a good story about those.

This Author's Note is here so it won't be left out when someone (like me!) downloads the story as a text file.

Author's Note: about the story image

Tara Strong plays a major part in "Crossing Swords." So really, CS is only one Bacon step from MLP:FIM. Which practically makes the sword MLP canon! So I constructed this story image by editing MLP show screencaps, more or less.

Also, Wallflower Blush WILL cut you.

Comments

[Mockingbirb]

10633518
Wow, you must be a fast reader?

[FanOfMostEverything]

And I have to admit, most of the students do survive long enough to graduate.

Most.

Dash looked incredulous. "You don't know what a queen is?"
Twilight shrugged. "Never heard of it."

(Angry bughorse noises)

So really, CS is only one Bacon step from MLP:FIM.

In the sense that one has Sunset and the other doesn't.

Brilliant inversion of a tired trope, especially the turn at the end. Lovely bit of madness. Thank you for it.

NOTE: The first sentence of the above paragraph was dumb of me to say, but I'm leaving it there, because the alternative is cowardice. Can't learn from your mistakes if you never admit you made them, folks.

[Scampy]

10633837
MFW the entire foundation of my library about a character with canonical suicidal thoughts going through the same things I've gone through, extensively informed by my personal experiences and struggles with self-harm addiction since I was 11 years old, and written with the intent to portray self-harm addiction realistically and without ever glorifying the thing that ruined my life, is a "tired trope"

cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/692239896773001217/800491961001312256/20190701_154740.jpg

[FanOfMostEverything]

10633865
I say that independent and irrespective of your work. You do excellent work with the concept, but I feel like it's been beaten into the ground elsewhere. I don't mean to belittle the severity of the concept or your stories.

... Well, not consciously. I apologize for doing so anyway.

[Mockingbirb]

10633865
Scampy, I'm glad I got to read the comments you deleted before you deleted them. Because I really liked them.

Also, I was glad to see your comment on Monochromatic's The Choices We Make. I was wondering what you might think about my Author's Note linking to it, and it seems your comment supports that.

[Ice Star]

I'm not sure this story was written with the best execution. The intent to invert cliches about media depicting suicide only works if it inverts bad cliches. To understand what's a bad cliche, you have to understand the difference between glorifying and simply depicting something. One of those is important, because it can serve to reach out to people who need something that understands them or serve as an outlet. As someone who has struggled with suicidal depression before and made many attempts in the past, I can understand why it can be tired of seeing bad depictions in media, but you don't write the subject with care. For satire, understanding your subject is vital.

Even as a person who struggles with these issues, I do enjoy dark humor about the subject. This wasn't it though. It was very well-intended, but naive in execution. Your author's notes really show off that you don't seem to understand the subject or why people write about it.

I would really suggest reading up on respectful and disrespectful depictions of subjects like self-harm and suicide. These are vital for improving your ability to portray the subject. Also, please don't beef up the word count of your stories by sticking the author's notes where they don't belong. This site includes a feature specifically to showcase the author's notes. Use them.

You also don't seem to understand that people of all genders struggle with eating disorders and extreme body image issues. You don't need to create a world where that happens, we already live in it. If you want to show these issues in a new and interesting way, there are examples on how to create a setting that can show social issues that are in some way inverted or play out differently than they occur within real-world settings.

I didn't upvote this in good faith, but I didn't downvote it either. But you really should understand why readers are giving you feedback that appears more hesitant or negative.

[I-A-M]

10633837
10633865
I'm gonna have to side with Scamps on this one, FOME. Also, the concept of dark comedy lambasting things like suicide and self-harm is so consistently done that there are episodes of Tom & Jerry and The Looney Toons that play it for laughs. I wouldn't necessarily call this a brilliant inversion. Now that's not to say this story isn't well written and funny in places, I was legitimately laughing at the whole first scene with the family meal, but it's funny in a way that leaves me subtly off-put by the entire thing to the point that I kind of had to cringe my way through the rest of it.

I got some real laughs out of it, that much is true, and to Mockingbirb: your talent for comedy is definitely on display here. It's the subject matter that comes off a little... barren. I'm not sure how else to put it. It doesn't precisely fall flat, but the way it does fall, at least for me, isn't a particularly positive landing.

The writing quality, true to most of your library of work, is good, and as I said above the comedy is executed really well, but yeah, the moment I saw this pop up I had to read through it, and I'll be honest, I was kind of hoping it would be better. Take that for whatever it's worth.

[Scampy]

10633893
I really appreciate this response.

[Mockingbirb]

10634111
For whatever it's worth, Scampy, I checked my records of stuff by you I'd read, and the only thing I found was a positive reaction to at least one of your stories about Wallflower suicide. It was "Synthesis."

[Mockingbirb]

10634111
10633893
I like to think that when FoME said "Brilliant inversion of a tired trope, especially the turn at the end," he was not only talking about things separate from your (Scampy's) stories, but to a large extent talking about things that have little or nothing to do with Wallflower suicide (EDIT: or 'cutting,' either,) at all. The last 3/5ths at least of the story have a lot more to do with other topics, such as how Equestria Girls movies handle the redemption of troubled youth who are bullies. Any such turn at the end has nothing whatsoever to do with suicide (EDIT: or self-harm), I am happy to say.