Right Upon the Wall
The first thing that came to Apple Bloom's mind was that she was just like the portrait. Not the portrait of students. A half-dozen of those hung on the wall to show all the classes of Ponyville's schoolhouse since the schoolhouse had first been built. Monochrome faces of teachers and students alike peered out from those, unaware of the literal goddess currently crouching behind Miss Cheerilee's desk, dwarfing it and everypony else gathered in the painfully simple building.
No, that wasn't the portrait on Apple Bloom's mind. Her thoughts were stuck on the other portrait. Only Ponyville's one-room schoolhouse had a photograph of Apple Bloom and her friends with a stiff-smiling Cheerliee. Every school in Equestria had a portrait of Princess Celestia hanging inside, and maybe the front of every classroom did too. Maybe it was law, but Apple Bloom wasn't about to ask about law right now. Not when two pairs of eyes belonging to two Princess Celestias and the eyes of Miss Cheerilee were already watching her and the other Crusaders.
Right under the princess portrait, the words 'Our Sun' in framing the sun princess and all, Twilight Sparkle was pacing. She may be an anxious mare, but Apple Bloom knew that Twilight Sparkle was an adult. She was also an adult who had faced down dragons, chaos gods, and hydras. When she was worried, everypony else should be too.
"Now, my little ponies, I understand that everypony in town received their apologies?" Princess Celestia smiled at the three little fillies, her eyes held somewhere between Apple Bloom and the other Crusaders and the Foal Free Press issues scattered on Miss Cheerliee's desk.
"Yes, Miss Princess." Apple Bloom piped up before the other Crusaders. Miss Cheerliee looked calmed by her manners.
Even though the princess smiled back, Apple Bloom couldn't help but feel that the goddess was doing what Applejack did when she knew Apple Bloom hadn't completed her chores: asking for the answer to something she already knew.
"That's very good," said the princess quietly. "Oh, Twilight, you needn't be so worried. This is only a little chat."
Twilight Sparkle forced a smile. "Ah! I'm so sorry—"
"There's no need to apologize, Twilight."
"Sorry, princess!" Twilight replied bashfully, and Apple Bloom saw Cheerliee look to the schoolhouse roof. It was the exact way she did when students accidentally called her 'mom' or said that timberwolves ate their homework.
The princess made a clucking sound with her tongue. "Oh, my Faithful Student. With the way you're fretting, it's like you're the one who published such things instead of these three nice little fillies sitting in front of us today. Isn't that so?"
"Hmm?" squeaked Sweetie Belle from next to Apple Bloom, pressing her forehooves together tightly upon the desk, all folded and polite for the princess. "D-Do we have permission to not-be-lectured right now?"
"Not that your lectures are bad, Your Most Highness and Awesome Princess-y Majesty!" Scootaloo cut in, wings buzzing like a bee's. One of her ears flicked nervously.
Princess Celestia neither smiled nor frowned, and Apple Bloom's blood went colder than a snowcone at the peak of Mount Canterhorn in a January blizzard. That was bad, wasn't it? "My little ponies, you are all worked up over next to nothing, I assure you. Please, I'm sure that after hearing what I have to say, you'll realize that nothing is wrong. We all just had an itsy-bitsy misunderstanding, and that's nothing to fret about."
"N-Nothing?" stammered Sweetie Belle, her jaw just short of hanging agape. "Gabby Gums was n-nothing?"
"Having to stay after school is nothing?" Scootaloo whispered, voice heavy with earnest confusion. Apple Bloom had to wonder if all that fidgeting Scoots had been doing had unscrewed her head or something.
"Well, I suppose nothing is something of an exaggeration. Let's all just sit and chat about it, hm?"
It had to be no big deal if the princess herself said it was so. Apple Bloom knew that the princess had to know more than just whatever secret reason why they were here — even if Gabby Gums wasn't much of a secret to anypony in Ponyville — and she probably had a magical answer for it too. Ponyfeathers, she probably saw everything through those portraits, right? Did the princess know that Apple Bloom got a C+ on the last spelling test? Or that Scootaloo had been chewing gum last week and stuck it to the bottom of her desk when she was done?
"There is a very serious matter I must discuss with all three of you, but none of you are in trouble right now."
Sweetie Belle's eyes said she knew that when a grown pony said 'right now' it usually meant 'you will be later' when it came to mentions of the word 'trouble' and all its ugly cousins. Apple Bloom knew that too. Only Scootaloo seemed pretty confused why something like 'right now' was added. It was a magic word of parents and Applejack alike — also, probably Rarity — not whoever Scootaloo lived with. She had never said anything other than 'not parents' and when anypony saw that it didn't bother her, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom didn't ask again. After all, it was two fewer ponies who gave out a curfew and chores. Plus, Scootaloo never said anything bad was happening — and the girls trusted their fellow Crusader.
"Do any of you little fillies know what the word 'libel' means?" Princess Celestia asked, her tone with that deceptive lightness that Apple Bloom knew Rarity used sometimes. It was the kind of tone that meant Sweetie couldn't play much longer and that she had to take a break from Crusading for homework, chores, or something equally boring.
"Ohnoohnoohnoohno!" was what rushed out of Sweetie's mouth as her forehooves flew to her face. "We have to stay for a surprise vocab quiz?"
Sweetie Belle's voice cracking on 'quiz' made Scootaloo snicker into one of her own forehooves.
Twilight Sparkle turned close to seven shades of purple lighter, while Miss Cheerliee looked like she might start nibbling at her hooves from where she stood behind the princess. This was the exact moment that Apple Bloom knew she would normally chime 'girls' and bring them back from whatever trouble and craziness — or both — that they had gotten into.
Princess Celestia pursed her lips. Her mane was sparkling differently now, and before Apple Bloom could say what about it was different, the glittery tail of the princess distracted her by coiling around the front of the desk. It almost reminded her of a rattler, except no snake was ever as nice as the goddess. She gave them no time to guess what the word might mean, or say anything beyond Sweetie Belle and Scoots having their little outbursts. It was like being spoonfed.
"Libel is when you say mean things about somepony," Princess Celestia clarified pleasnatly.
Twilight Sparkle's brow almost furrowed. "Mareiam-Wordhoof's most recent edition of the Dictionary of the Equuish Language actually defines 'libel' in multiple ways, the first definition being 'a written statement in which a plaintiff in certain courts sets forth the cause of action or the relief sought' though—"
"Twilight," Miss Cheerliee whispered, "I'm not sure if now is the time."
"—however, I think that the second definition regarding false statements is a little closer to what the girls did." Pausing, Twilight Sparkle flicked an ear back and forth, breathing a few breaths in too quickly. "Isn't that right, princess?"
That nervous smile was back, and Apple Bloom shared her confused glance with her fellow Crusaders, only to see that their expressions mirrored her.
Without further ado, Apple Bloom raised one of her hooves. "Miss Princess?"
"Yes, my little pony?" The princess smiled as pretty as a statue, even though Apple Bloom couldn't read her eyes to say if she felt as happy as she looked.
"Ain't lyin' a mite different than sayin' somethin' mean?"
"Not particularly," replied the princess, smiling. "And especially not in the case of libel. Have you girls ever heard the rule 'if you don't have anything nice to share, say nothing at all' from any of your teachers over the years?"
"I think so," Sweetie Belle murmured. "I heard Rarity say that when somepony didn't like her Saturday hours. Mom and Dad say it all the time too. It's super up there, just like The Golden Rule!"
Scootaloo gave a helpless grin and shrug when the princess looked coolly to her.
"My big sis says I should always be honest," Apple Bloom said innocently, unsure why the princess smiled a little smaller at that answer. "I know bein' mean is wrong, princess. I really do. Ain't lyin' wrong too? Which is little, then?"
"Libel," Twilight Sparkle corrected.
"Both," the princess said after a short pause. "Libel is when you write something mean about somepony and show it to the world. Because it is mean, that is what makes it a lie, my little ponies. You wouldn't believe something mean you heard about your sisters, would you?"
"I guess not," Apple Bloom relented.
"Does this mean we b-broke a law?" Scootaloo whispered. "Is that what liver is fancy for? A law?"
"Libel," Twilight Sparkle insisted. Cheerliee just brought her forehoof to her forehead in response.
"Not in the case of fillies as young as you three are," said the princess, her smile back and big again. "Thus my visit to all of you! I'm here to explain something very big to the three of you. Publishing libel about somepony is breaking the law, especially when that particular somepony has protections under the law. Can you girls guess who somepony like that might be?"
"Sapphire Shores?" Sweetie Belle guessed.
"The Wonderbolts!"
"Uh, you and Princess Luna?" Apple Bloom answered, offering her guess as clearly as she could. "You're the princess, right? If you ain't protected from mean words, who is?"
"Scootaloo and Apple Bloom," said Princess Celestia, reading from Miss Cheerilee's list of student names, "would be correct. Military and partly military ponies as well as royalty like myself all have these kinds of protections under the laws of Equestria. When somepony else decides they want to publish something that breaks these rules, they can be punished."
"And being mean is breaking the law?" asked Sweetie Belle, her green eyes filled with dawning understanding.
"Yes, writing mean things about royalty is against the law. Of course, all three of you would never have to face such punishments. No foal ever would. But you need to know that what you say can be illegal, especially if you're a grown-up pony. Can you imagine how terrible things would be if anypony could say whatever mean thing comes to mind about me or the other members of the royal family?"
"Yeah, I 'suppose that kinda makes sense," Apple Bloom says, "but what counts as mean?"
"What do you mean, my little pony?" Princess Celestia blinked, either in surprise or confusion. Apple Bloom found that it was very, very hard to read anything other than the smiles of Princess Celestia. "Do you not understand what counts as mean? Have you ever had peers say something mean about you, or something pops up in your head that you know would be mean to your peers, so you simply never said it?"
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle are both already nodding, each needing no more to be said. But Apple Bloom was not done, much to the lingering looks of confusion from Twilight Sparkle and Miss Cheerilee, there were still things about the situation Apple Bloom did not understand.
"I mean, being all unlawful an' the like would be like if somepony started saying Applejack was a liar and she wasn't the Element of Honesty or my amazing big sis, right?"
"That is right, my little pony. I'm so very glad you're starting to understand."
"Okay, princess. But Applejack is one of them ponies like you with name protectin' stuff in this. What if somepony said they didn't like my sis?"
"As in, that they hated her?" Princess Celestia's forehoof tapped patiently on the desk like a clock ticking. Apple Bloom still couldn't read her eyes, but golly did she have the nicest smile.
"Nah, just that they didn't like her. Or that they don't agree with her and thought carrots were a better breakfast than apple cinnamon oatmeal or somethin'." Apple Bloom smiled back at Princess Celestia. "Oh, and AJ is a princess in this, Miss Princess. She's the princess of rodeos!"
"I remember you saying so," said the princess with a smile. "Both of those situations would count as libel under the lèse-majesté laws of Equestria."
"Huh," went Apple Bloom. "Does that fancy word also mean the same thing? Sure sounds like somethin' big an' important."
"Yes, it most certainly does. Now, I'm sure all three of you understand just what kind of things aren't very nice to write about an old royal mare like myself in the future, and that this is something a grown pony can face serious consequences for?"
"Yes, Princess Celestia!" Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo chimed in unison.
Apple Bloom gave her affirmation too, but hers came only a few beats later, while Princess Celestia's class portrait stared down at her.
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They are lucky that they are young enough to avoid being fined, imprisoned or worse.
10742725
Well, even if they were older it is unlikely anything like that would happen to them if they demonstrated that they were ignorant of the law. Though, this depends on what the law is and the location. It’s not usually a viable defense.
10742728
I think of Equestria's ruling, in terms of modern states, as like Saudi Arabia without the really nasty side-that is, it is under the rule of an absolute ruler, but one a lot "nicer" at least on the surface, then the absolute monarchies that survive in Real Life. However, for the real trouble makers, that's what the Statue Garden is for.
...So is this whole thing just some kind of Tyrantlestia spiel?
10742738
If you consider lèse-majesté in any form tyrannical, certainly.
Or if your takeaway goes beyond ‘she’s just really bad at explaining things to children’ and you think Celestia’s words contain unfortunate implications about what can or can’t be said within Equestria’s history and culture.
Nothing bad ever happened to the cutie mark crusaders--WAAAH
10742794
Well, judging by the fact that, in the sequel, there's a "Celestial Moral Manager" who acts as a mini-Ministry of Truth, I'd willing to assume the assumption is correct.
I haven't read the Iceverse itself, but just going off the descriptions and tags, the protagonists—or, at least, the main characters—are supposed to be the alicorns, Discord, Sombra, and a gaggle of OCs. With that mind, it seems kinda backwards to suddenly go "Oh, by the way, everybody, your heroes are basically a somewhat-less-malevolent Oceania!"
Again, keep in mind that I have zero context as to the goings-on of the Iceverse at large, but, just going off of this, why should I bother rooting for any of them in the main series if they've been willingly going full-on Thought Police this whole time?
(Sorry for the rant; it's more of a roundabout request for clarification than anything.)
10742805
I’m afraid the reference to Oceania is lost on me, sorry. There aren’t many OCs that pop up as anything other than minor villains, side characters, and lesser roles until you go either way back into the historical stories (where there would obviously have to be more) or into the futuristic stories (anything after Favorable Alignment).
So more appropriately, the main characters are the Princesses and Sombra. Discord and Sunset Shimmer crop up sometimes, though Sunset and Twilight appear much less.
Obviously if these two stories don’t appeal to you, you probably won’t quite enjoy the rest of my stories. Or more specifically, you probably won’t enjoy anything of mine with the dark tag. Anything else could potentially be up your alley, and there more lighthearted entries too. But the villain/hero/other stances of characters who aren’t in this story or are underage is obviously up in the air unless you specifically wanted to read more.
Does that answer your question? What I write obviously isn’t for everyone, but as long as you aren’t a dick about it (which you aren’t being) then I foresee no problem.
10742802
No CMC were harmed in the making of this e-rated story!
10742736
Thats what always bothered me about having...one ruler. Why is...this person the ruler? What makes them so how more inheritantly ethical and better then...say...a fluttershy? Or Rainbow Dash?
10742736
I'm pretty sure that the most stoned pony in Equestria is Tree Hugger.
10742947
Depending on what kind of monarchy you're talking about and the requirement for the said monarchy, your heir/ruler can have actual qualifications over another person (or in this case, creature). Things like philosophy, education, temperament, and so on can all influence who is better to wear the crown than others.
Equestria just struggles with having four very different princesses.
10742805
Your assumption. If I am parceling it correctly...is actually correct. I do understand the reference too Oceania. I Think...
Like Jerk god narrative...that because they gods...they can do whatevers?
Ala...Greek gods. Yes.
The Characters are like that. Would I say that absolutely takes away from the storys that Ice writes. Nope. They are well written and complex narratives.
Not just Gods and Goddess being dicks and getting away with it.
But!
In my opinion I get it. Reading about what amounts too immortal frat boys that bang and do whatevers.
Oh and if they do a bad. Well? A century or two. Poof.
Bad thing gone. That feeling when I read anything by Ice. Has a little of that.
Like mortals. That is us. Mind...
Are treated poorily. And nothing is done. To me...any story that has always...really reminds me. How wealthy people get away with crimes commited on the poor. So...even with the narrative...it just screams...why?
Another thought that struck me...is mortals are seen as disposable and often a joke. Like you just...dont...know...
Inside I am like. Well I am not immortal so no...I do not.
Very us vs them. With a weird system in place to ensure the lesser mortals can ever...have say...the same thing.
10742963
I understand. I just struggle with not wanting any form of class. I.e nobility. No matter. How well intentioned. Its not so much that I disagree. But...
I always think where is the opptunity. Because their can not be true class mobility. Or abolish class alltogether. If...
Say...to be a princess. One obviously have too be a alicorn.
Special that that is. Its given unto gods. And goddesses. So?
And presumably immortal baring shiny. Of course.
What I mean is if it is not mentioned. Or it is even explained away by so called benevolent rulers.
These four have too rule. Because they have the divine right. So...like they so often written in your storys. With a humanity and passion. But...
If that is the case. How does that make so qualifyed if someone. Could just get said exprience. And that sweet immortality...
Their is very much a deliberate unbreachable barrier in place for any. That may want or need or even could by time or effort. Better the world.
But how could anyone want or even dream of fighting a immortal that has already been through all before?
So I guess their just right then?
Your stuff always gets my class brain working. So props!
10742969
Bruh, did you just compare how I write gods to the Greek's rowdy-ass Pantheon? I dunno if I should be flattered or embarrassed by that one.
10742983
Depending on the monarchy/era in question, social mobility isn't completely out the window. Even a modern, progressive monarchy could have social mobility, with only the royal family itself as the exception. While there is such a thing as an elective/appointed monarchy (they're not common) most cases remain the same: to get into the royal family you usually have to marry into it.
For Equestria-specific examples, inheritence/heirs/etc. are brought up in Enemy of Mine in current and future chapters.
This is a... very interesting story. I feel like the ending was rushed tho.
10743396
What particular part of the ending made it feel rushed?
So you are describing a harsh authoritarian dictatorship. A very bad place and way to live.
10743427
It just felt like Applebloom would have more questions to challenge Celestia and she kinda gave up a little early.
You open to making a short fic about Celestia gaslighting a filly Twilight?
10742963
Cozy Glow would disagree with you.
Regarding the story, I am quite confused whether the misrepresentation of defamation law is deliberate and whether it's done for satire or another purpose. The story doesn't have comedy tag, but what other purpose there is kinda eludes me.
10743502
She's a confused middle schooler, and while she is the most skeptical of the bunch, she isn't sure why she would be suspicious of this particular goddess princess. After all, AB isn't being punished and she's surrounded by adults she trusts. To her, this would be more of an 'agree to disagree' situation than one where she thinks something nefarious is at hoof.
I don't think I've ever had anyone suggest a story outright in a comments section like this before. What were you thinking?
10743499
Oh, certainly. Though, I'd say it's more of a case of lèse-majesté laws applied in a way that is constricting and oppressive. It makes sense why a pony wouldn't be allowed to say 'Princess Celestia is a whore' for example, but not 'I think Princess Celestia needs to do better about informing the public of parasprite swarms because she's currently doing a horrid job of it due to X' and she's made the latter restriction the norm.
10744026
They're being misrepresented because they are that restrictive. Celestia wasn't giving child-friendly examples of what would count as defamation, ponies literally cannot voice that degree of criticism. She's just being eerily smarmy in how she's talking. In other words, it would only be satire out of story or if you had some meta-comparison you wanted to draw. In-story, the only thing that is really being satirized is fixfics where horrible things happen to the CMC because X episode made people angry, ignoring the fact that even fictional characters aren't perfect and the CMC are literal children. There is no horrific punishment or anything that happens to them here, just 'hey don't do this again because this could have consequences as an adult' and The Implications (tm) that the laws regarding speech are also horrid.
10744217
I rarely comment. I didn’t even know you can DM people on this site. I’ve been here for nearly a decade and probably only have around 60 comments. (And most of that was from a gif fight).
Well, let’s say Celestia is a conservative and pro-equestria in this. During her and Twilight’s private time she can start radicalizing the filly gently. She can mention how she’s pretty much responsible for the survivability of the planet. How unicorns can alter reality and even manipulate others with magic. Pegasuses can control the weather. And Earth ponies connection to nature.
How Equestria is more important than the other nations pretty much.
The filly can be confused and recounted the teaching of her parents to treat everyone equally. No matter who they are.
You can have Celestia counter her innocent arguments and slowly win the pony over.
I dunno, you seem to be good at writing these kinds of dialogue, so I thought you’d be interested.
10744688
I wouldn't say she's that conservative. I've never really modelled most of her dialogue or points on conservative (well, here you clearly don't mean an ordinary conservative, you're talking alt/far-right stuff) points or stuff in particular. The fact that she is (one of the) gods in a theocratic kingdom is more surface-level than anything, but I see where you're coming from.
Horses would have such a weird as fuck political compass.
This isn't the approach I usually take to things, but I actually like the idea. It'd be a neat one shot to do, one unrelated to my current projects.
It sounds like you would really like my stories Her Own Sky and Distance Beyond any Measure.
10746959
Glad you like the idea. It is different from your works, featuring a Celestia you haven’t written before. But, I felt an inkling of this Celestia in this story you wrote and thought you’d kick it up to 100%.
Yea, I already read that story when it was published. I liked it!
10747758
Oh wow, I had no idea you already read one of the others. Thanks!
Why'd the comment get deleted before I could read it?
Heck.
So if you post another pic of me stuffing my face with cake you'll be spending your foal-hood, pony-hood, old-age, and several hundred years being dead ON THE MOOOOOON!
If confused, be sure to check your local Equestrian Censor office. They will be happy to tell you if what you've written is the truth or a dirty lie!
Lol, Overly-friendly Tyrant Celestia is always an enjoyable read
10972680
I always find that non-violent approaches to dystopian themes are sorely neglected on the site, even when it suits the character in question. So whenever I have a fitting story, I tend to go in that direction. Glad you enjoyed it.