• Member Since 18th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Tiki Bat


Tiki Enthusiast, Theme park fanatic, writer looking for feedback

Sequels1

E

You ever just have one of those kind of nerve wracking conversations where you have to explain your job to some other pony that might not understand it?

Yeah, that's what I went through when I met one of my good friends, and believe me, it's never easy to explain why me, a stallion, is wearing a maid's dress to work, especially to a new friend that you're trying to make a good first impression with.


Just a silly one shot inspired by a picture drawn by lRUSU, which was in turn inspired by something I made in response to my passion project picking up comments more regularly. I told someone I'd draw my OC wearing a maid's dress if it ever picked up regular comments, and lo and behold it managed to do that shortly after as if the universe had willed it into existence.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 80 )

Huh this is actually not bad. Feels like it could have more added, like for example a whole proper story of how he came to like this. Just a suggestion tho, as this is a neat summary of it.

10498935
Maid Stardust is more popular than I ever imagined he’d be, so who knows, maybe he’ll get his own mini story eventually that gets into this in greater detail. Glad you enjoyed it!

...fair enough.

“So why wear it instead of changing for stuff like this?”
I shrugged, “What can I say? The dress is pretty comfy and it’s such a hassle to get out of.”

Yeah, it probably takes forever to dress and undress from an uniform like this.

10499174
Honestly after hitting the popular box area....I don't see why not. This story is good, but it almost feels more like a CONCEPT than an actual story. Like the "Oh we're going into the Present to tell the story of The past, and this is just an introduction. This is merely a hook to get you to want to read the REAL story of what takes place earlier!"

It's good, but it just isn't fleshed out enough to feel like a proper 1 shot.

If you were so inclined, I am sure you could write a sequel or add more chapters to this story if you were so inclined, an it'd get a lot of new readers. Myself included.

10499606
That's basically how it started, and I was pretty surprised to see it hit featured. Going to definitely start outlining stuff for a proper follow up, and maybe even use that as additional chapters here.

Ooh noice, there are a few thing with a couple of the scentences that I did see immediately however, they didn't detach from the story at all. So far it's a really good story. A few more chapters and it will get better as time goes on. Keep it up!

10500426
Glad you’re enjoying it so far! There’s at least two other chapters planned out and hey, maybe more down the line, who knows

You know, stuff like hunting, fishing, logging— yes, believe it or not there were quite a few logger bats way up north by the crystal empire.

Actually, I do believe it.
Now I have the picture of an cute bat wielding an wood axe in my head.

This has been way easier to deal with than I thought it would be…
Almost too easy…

At the exact same moment he realized he just doomed himself.

There were the few bats I passed on the street and had hung out with in the park a few times, but no one I’d consider a super close friend. Well, that is until I met her, but that comes later in the story, and I promise we’ll get to that sooner rather than later.

I look forward to it.


Well, you know what they say about first impressions...
He certainly has an interesting first impression already.

Ahhh yeah that's the stuff! <3

THIS! This is the quality I had been hoping for! <3

This is spicing things up nicely!

"Anxious, but excited" Whooo....this little Bat Pony has NO IDEA what he just got himself into!

Bwahahahaha. How soon did he forget his Job Agency's INFAMOUS reputation. Honestly should have expected this in a way with how they tend to misfile paperwork.

This ought to be GOOD! >=)

10503008
Oh he's gonna learn his lesson real fast! Glad you're enjoying it so far!

10503024
Yeah! Thank YOU for fleshing this story out more! <3

10503148
I should have another two or three chapters left and maybe an epilogue. Not sure if I’m going to make any kind of follow up, but if that’s something you’d be interested in seeing let me know

10503204
It'd be fun to see our MC TRULY embaressed in the next chapter <3

10505445
He’s gotta get dressed first. Then the embarrassment starts!

Today was more urgent. It wasn’t life or death urgent, but still urgent. It was the I need to sort this out before the end of the day kind of urgent, which never made for a fun day.

We all know (and hate) this kind of urgent, don't we?

Right off the bat I was approached by the receptionist from the other day, who seemed to pick up on my annoyed demeanor.

Since he is an actual bat he is allowed to do this. I think.
(I have to remember that pun.)

Well this is an interesting story, well at least it touches one of my kinks, I can't wait to see how his first work day will go him and how he eventually accept his faith I wonder if the he likes being around other maids with the same outfit as he does. Sense he is going to have a day shift I am guessing that he is going to see seen in public more then he would like. But, I would have thought he would have to live in the manor or at least in the same building as the Orange's sense they live like the middle of Manehatten. Looking forward to see how this shapes out.

I can see how you have so much trouble with 1st to 3rd person, you tend to rely heavily on dialogue to convey more of tour ideas.

10505762
I’m definitely better with third person compared to first. I wanted to keep this story shorter, and first person felt like the better tense to go with this. Hopefully it’s still enjoyable enough :D

Stardust is such a pretty mare....I mean stallion ^^ I'm glad you turned into full fledged story rather than one shot. I shall follow this story and see how it unfolds!!! Also if the stallion in question can pull out th outfit and looks feminine then mor power to them. Lol seen some stallions on deviantart who easily make a pretty mare jealous.

10505831
I hope you enjoy it! It was a silly idea that people really seemed to like so I decided to flesh it out more and see where that goes

I told someone I'd draw my OC wearing a maid's dress if it ever picked up regular comments, and lo and behold it managed to do that shortly after as if he universe had willed it into existence.

This is often how it begins. :raritywink:

I was ready for this! I was maid for this job!

Was to tempting to ignore it, right?:pinkiehappy:

I was ready for this! I was maid for this job!

**Boos jokingly**

I wonder if Mr. Orange is going to have the hots him once he start or some other male character trying to lavish him with gifts or get him to stick to this job longer. Maybe he could be on a legalized contract that he can't look for any jobs outside of any city centers, unless he wants to work in the words.

10506008
You have no idea how hard it was to refrain from adding this in elsewhere in the story haha

10506044
While I can’t say that that’s the direction the story is headed, it’s not going to be so easy to just leave the job. You’ll see some more of that in the next chapter and epilogue

10506103
No, but I think you found the best spot for it.

Temptation to dust off my copy of MAID: the rpg rising..

Comment posted by Drilltooth deleted Oct 30th, 2020

10505909
Having good art + Story about crossdressing stallion + Suffering at least a little humiliation + Well Written tends to be a story formula that will get a lot of views ^^

10508338
Definitely a formula I've been trying to dissect so I can pull in more engagement with my passion project

10508395
Shining Armor (Gleaming Shield) & Button Mash are the two most popular.
Followed by Big Mac and maybe Braeburn?

There's also doing a stallion universe, but with some crossdressing.

For some reason there's been a LOT of Shining Armor as Mare, that he has his own common Mare Name as Gleaming Shield.

It's something I really enjoy reading. I know Starshine frequently has male characters that end up female, including their MC Lonely Days. Though it's less crossdressing and more Transgender type.
Though these tend to be rather popular too.

You could always do something set in your Passion Project as a Side Story to hook people into the main one possibly as well. Though you may not want to do that for your own reasons like wanting to keep it more pure.

You may want to do some further investigations and reflections, but I think the knowledge I have imparted is more than enough for at least a basic idea for something in the future.

You know I actually really like how you took the time to describe the outfit AND how much of a struggle it was to put on. Along with the whole "Hey...I actually look rather cute! And it's COMFY! O.O"

It's little touches like that, that make the story more engaging and fun to read ^^

10508677
I'm really glad you enjoyed that. I've been trying really hard to make this an interesting and engaging story while keeping chapters relatively short just to see if that helps pull readership in more. Comments like these really mean a lot to me

10508687
I figured as much! More compliments = More willingness to write.

It's like when someone cooks for you. The more you compliment, the more they want to cook for you again ^^

In this case, it's making more story that I really enjoy ^^

10508687
Pretty much. I like writing but it starts to feel empty when I don’t get to hear back on what people think about it at times. So getting even a small amount of feedback means the world to me, especially when it’s on a project I care a lot about.

Well this was a nice chapter, nice to see that you addressed the servant quarters part, through I wonder if it would be cheaper for him over time then keeping the apartment. I can't wait to see hos his training will go for him and see if someone will come on to him.

10509810
I'm really glad you're enjoying it so far, there's not a whole lot left in the story, but if this is popular enough I might write out a sequel at some point.

I didn’t really know where to start, so I hovered my hoof near the socks and paused, trying to figure out the best way to go about getting them on. I had never really worn socks before, which is ironic considering that nowadays a comfy pair of socks are basically a part of my everyday getup.

Never underestimate socks!

Both bows seemed to be designed as one piece, that I’d only have to pull my mane and tail through. This did come with the realization that my mane would be pulled into a ponytail, and my tail would be pushed up more, but none of this really mattered in the long run.

Who would design an accessory like that? And why make the employees wear it?
I mean, would anyone want to have mares with slightly pushed up tails running around at home?

I nervously adjusted the pink and black socks that I had painstakingly put on, (I mean really, why do ponies even bother with these? Like it takes so much time to do, is it even worth it?)

They are comfy! And cute.

Alright Stardust, one hoof in front of the other. You’re just a pony going to their job, and no pony else is going to bother you. Sure, you’re wearing a frilly maid’s dress, but you look cute in it and other ponies think you look cute in it too

That's the spirit!

I was ready for this! I was maid for this job!

Heh!


Good chapter!
I enjoyed reading it.

Damn would have like to see a diner night with guests and stuff, maybe the rest of the Apple Family, and having to serve them AJ and the rest of the Ponyville Apples can make a cameo.

The embarrassment of wandering through a familiar city wearing some frilly dress made the minutes stretch into hours, and I was on edge.

Maybe he should have flown there, using his wings.

“Huh, well that’s good for you. Not the uniform I’d expect them to give you, but it’s cute and you totally rock it.”

According to the cover art it's true!

10510967
Perhaps this’ll get a sequel eventually, and that fits into it somewhere?

10510993
Okay, it just seems that the story, despite being fun, doesn't have much of a plot or a climax or intrigue to it.

Well then, that went as good as we could have expected.
Now he only has to survive the date...

10511040
I don’t know how much of that irl get into, because that makes up the first chapter, but we’ll see somebody the lead up to that chapter, and maybe some of the aftermath

10509316
I can understand that completely. You want to feel like your writing matters. You want to feel like people appreciate the work you've put into things

ALSO: This was a lovely chapter that I certainly enjoyed! It was great how he corrected that lady telling her he was a stallion. Lmao. AN then he was like "WHY DID I DO THAT!? T_T"

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