• Member Since 18th Jan, 2015
  • offline last seen 19 minutes ago

Tiki Bat


Tiki Enthusiast, Theme park fanatic, writer looking for feedback

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It's Applebloom's favorite time of the year, the day she gets to plan out the yearly Apple Family Reunion with her big sister Applejack!.. although this year's has a twist. As it turns out, the Apples have an old branch of the family out in Hollow Shades who have never been invited, the mysterious Blood Oranges...

Not knowing why they were excluded for all these years, Applebloom invites them to the reunion and the Blood Oranges are more than happy to meet the family they never knew they had... but how will that family react when a group of bat ponies show up? Only time will tell…


I have to give a special thanks to Halira for offering feedback, suggestions, and advice throughout the course of writing this project. I don't think I would have been able to stay motivated through this project without her help and support.

I also need to thank Lawra, Nailah, and Gaby for offering some feedback, pre reading, and edits to this story.

I really can't thank them enough for their help, and it genuinely means the world to me!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 11 )

Nice little episode type story.

gotta say this story had a terrible ending it end up granny smith literally excluded member of her own family over something so petty as not liking some family jam, then she never acknowledges how bad that is or apologize but only forgives them for next generation liking it? wow she a horrible person here

10306416
Because we've never seen Granny Smith hold petty grudges that last for years and years. *Looks over at the Pear grudge which she kept going even after she had taken a Pear as a daughter-in-law and only dropped out of the shared pain of the loss of Buttercup/Pear Butter*.

It isn't Granny's most likable trait that she can hold petty grudges for years-- especially in relation to her apples being insulted (or zapp apple jam in this case), but it is true to the character.

10306433
It's not that she has the petty grudge.

It's that she never apologizes to the people she hurt for the grudge and seems to be willing to continue hurting people if they don't share her opinion. It leaves a sour taste in a readers mouth to see that.

10306452
You know that’s a completely valid point and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t slip through the cracks when I was writing it. I’m going to work on reworking at least the ending part so it’s not just such a harsh and petty thing on her part.

Well the writing in interesting, the conflict resolve seems a little quick, but I did enjoy the premise, I could easily imagine it as a multi chapter story.

10306940
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I was originally going to write it as a much longer fleshed out story with multiple chapters, but in the end I wanted it to be a smaller story more like what you'd see in an episode, just to change things up from my usual multi chapter stories. There were a lot of tricky cuts I had to make and there's stuff I wish I kept in, but ultimately in the end I'm happy with it.

The old mare spat. “Blood feuds have been started over less.”

True. But that doesn't make them any less stupid. And this one is especially stupid, Granny Smith, so I'm actually a little shocked and disappointed at you. :ajbemused:

It does seem a bit silly that she'll only let them back into the family relations on the grounds of whether or not they like the jam. The jam can be darned! It shouldn't have gotten between family members like that to begin with, and it shouldn't have been the deciding factor that lets them back in again either. :facehoof:

Beyond that, though, it's a nice little story. I've heard of the idea of the Apples having bat pony relations a couple times in recent years, but this is the first time I've seen somebody really enact upon it. :twilightsmile:

Could have probably been a bit longer but it's a nice self-contained story that might as well have been an episode on the show. A good read.

Whoa, someone else actually wrote a story about the Oranges having a dark secret? Thought I was the only one! Definitely reading this!

Kinda pointless

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