Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows

132. Villain Hassle.

-???, Buttina Stalliona-

I blasted a creature as it leapt for me with my ever trusty Boomacorn, it looked like a spider with a long spindly tail.

Another one latched itself onto Fred’s face, it quickly realized its mistake and then it tried to get off his face screeching in fear while trying to scurry away. Only it ended up being sucked into Fred’s mouth by its tail and eaten.

“Mm… crunchy.” Fred stated while his skull face grinned broadly. “If one of these dares and tries to infiltrate my Ollie, I WILL COMMIT INTERGALACTIC GENOCIDE OF THEIR SPECIES! After saving Ollie from the parasite of course.”

A large black banana headed monster growled and crawled out of the nearby ducts and when it dropped to the floor, it was swiftly blown apart by a dark magic mine trap left there by Oleander.

“Wow, so much for the deadliest monsters in this dimension.” Oleander stated blandly. “Sure, they are good at sneaking around dark spaces and picking off idiots, but we’re far better at it than they are.”

“I’ve seen scarier from Pandora, also the technology here sucks.” I loaded my Boomacorn and readied it for firing, I also placed a laser pistol in a holster around my neck. There’s nothing like looting weapons from people, I am from Pandora after all. “Though you have to admit, they do multiply quite fast.”

“Well you did need a practice dimension before we start looking around for Pom seriously.” Oleander stated as she wielded her magically bladed key as several banana heads rushed towards us.

-Earth, California, San Fransokyo, ?-

“What’s she doing Baymax?” Hiro Hamada asked me.

“She appears to be here as a patron of the Lucky Cat Café.” I answered the obvious, even Hiro could see for his eyes were working perfectly at this point in time.

“Not what I meant, is she doing anything suspicious?” Not from what I could detect Hiro.

Though she was sending us glances, she was quite aware that we were the ones who attacked her and was trying to ignore us. She doesn’t appear to like confrontation by my current estimates of her mental state. The dog is more wary and ready to attack us with her skateboard at a moments notice, the materials of the skateboard are not conducive towards the damage it dealt to my armor.

I believe we are dealing with factual supernatural phenomenon not related to science, I will continue to watch the situation and advise caution. If there continues to be supernatural phenomenon that science can’t explain, I will give my findings to my friends.

Though both individuals seemed dangerous, they weren’t actively aggressive unless enacted upon and did not have a criminal history of any warrants out for their arrest by visual appearance alone.

“No. She appears to be awaiting food patiently.” I answered simply as we sat at our table. “Do you wish me to scan them to see if they are in need of healthcare assistance?”

“Dude, remember what we said about an invasion of privacy, we should just leave her well enough alone unless it’s an emergency.” Wasabi was currently upset, I think it is because his gauntlet went off without him activating it. Such a thing could lead to a hazardous and life threatening incidents, he among Hiro’s friends understood that his technology was quite dangerous and was quite safety conscious. Hopefully he could instill such caution into Hiro eventually, being a hero was dangerous work. “What she’s currently doing is not an emergency, she hasn’t stolen anything, she’s not attacking anyone, she isn’t being an active threat to society and she’s just sitting there. Also I would like to state that Fred attacked her first.”

“Yes, I agree with the invasion of privacy thing, but I’m curious about how she caught me when I was going full speed.” Go-Go did not like being taken down by the sheep like entity, her current mental state was agitated judging by the way her tail twitched. Mochi came over to playfully bat at her tail, lightly drawing her attention away from her thoughts. “She’s talented at fighting, trained for it even.”

“I just want to go over there and give that poor injured dog a big hug!” The only reason Honey Lemon, the nicest of our team, attacked the stranger is because she actively put Fred through the roof of a building. The rabbit biped wilted slightly. “Now if only she wouldn’t bite me for it… I think she and her owner recognizes all of us.”

That was a gray area, Fred was uninjured, but his suit was mildly damaged being put through a building by the force of the sheep like entity kicking off of him and it could be stated to be in self-defense and she did actively try to disengage from combat safely without getting overly violent.

The dog, the companion of the sheep like entity, was clearly the more aggressive one of the two.

“I still say there is something about her that is suspicious, it’s like I know about her from somewhere...” Fred, being a chameleon biped, was born with the natural super power of near invisibility and the only issue is his ability to concentrate when using it. He is getting better at training in stealth and being a super hero.

The others have already talked Fred down from causing the female sheep like entity any more trouble.

“Detecting heightened distress levels, I will go offer my services as a healthcare provider.” I started to move over to them.

“Baymax wait!” I ignored Hiro and decided to follow my programming, someone was in need of my services.

-Pom-

I think that was the flying armored thing, it looked so innocent without all that armor to make it look like a big hulking mechanical brute. It came up to us and Dolly was ready to take it down.

“Easy Dolly, let’s see what he wants first.” The machine came up to us and stopped and raised a hand.

“Hello, I am Baymax, a personal healthcare provider and companion created by Tadashi Hamada.” Wait, this Baymax was owned by Hamada, like the one that owned this restaurant? Huh interesting. “I noticed that you seem to be in pain, may I be of assistance?”

“Pom, you need to take some Arrhythmia Medication, it’s been several days and you did put your heart under severe stress recently. Your heart beats are becoming more irregular. I prescribe a single dosage of your medication for your health and if the dosage causes problems, then we will reorient your needs from there.” Dormarch stated as he idly scanned me once more. “I am Dormarch, Personal Exploration Terminal and companion to this person. Might I inquire if your group is going to cause more problems for my owner?”

“No, I do not believe we will be starting problems at the moment." At least Baymax sounded friendlier than the guy with the energy blade thing. "Though there may need to be discussion to work out prior issues to prevent even further ones.”

“Good, can you take care of stitches for bullet wounds?” Wait, Dormarch was going to ask him to help me? Was he actually trusting this Baymax guy?

“Yes, I have the capacity to remove stitches, provided that it does not harm a patient. Do you have such a patient who has been recently injured?” It seemed like Baymax and Dormarch were interacting with little in the way of aggressiveness, it actually calmed me down somewhat that they were both calm and collected. “I am capable in all forms of mental and physical trauma care.”

“Can I get some water over here?” I asked one of the strange robots working here and the floating hippo one came over and dropped a glass in front of me. “Thank you.”

“No problem sweetie!” The small hippo robot then hovered away.

I took out the medication and downed it with a gulp of water and drained the glass as well.

“May I inquire as to how and when she was shot?” Baymax asked in an inquisitively gentle tone.

“Almost a week ago, I have been barely activated for more than a week and my owner has had a slew of interesting problems since acquiring me. I believe I am at fault for some of it, if not all of it.” Glancing at Dormarch, I sent him a sad frown. “She should not be put under any undue stress, but she has a habit of entering situations where it is unavoidable. Recently she was assaulted by a group of mercenaries, then again possibly by the same group with rocket artillery. The train didn’t survive the incident, though we did.”

“I believe I have heard about that in the news, three survivors somehow got off the train before mercenaries ransacked it.” Baymax stated, apparently he liked to keep up with the news and I didn’t see a problem with that. “May I attend to you?”

“Only if you can check Dolly first, she’s about as bad off as I am.” I replied.

Baymax turned his gaze to Dolly who glared up at him and growled protectively while edging closer to me.

“She is in good health, her injuries are also healing very well.” Nice to know Mr. Baymax. “You take very good care of her.”

“I’m Pom Lambchop, this is Dormarch and that’s Dolly D. Dalmatian. If you think you can help us, then do so after I’m finished eating. I’m not exactly very trusting at the moment.” For reasons that were obvious.

“That is understandable, you were assaulted without proof of wrong doing and are owed an apolo…” A crashed happened outside and I quickly stood up and walked over to the door to see people running down the street. “El Fuego is currently attacking the general area.”

“Does he hurt people?” I asked Baymax as I heard crashing sounds coming from outside.

“Yes.” Baymax answered. “He is a prideful wrestler that specializes in mechanical engineering, he has been known to attack people in an effort to find challengers that can bring him down. He has grievously harmed eighty three people to date, but has no fatalities on record.”

“Dolly, watch my bag and Dormarch, I’ll take care of this.” I reached into the bag and pulled out my pink strip of cloth and tied it to my forehead. With that done I walked out the door into the streets to see the guy called El Fuego causing havoc, he was apparently a bull biped in a flaming mask that matched his mechanical armor.

“I’ll watch your back too, just to make sure nobody attacks it.” Stated Dolly as she glanced at the five and Baymax with some form of distrust. I turned back to nod and then started walking down the street towards the guy causing chaos in the mechanical armor.

-‘Fred-me-leon’ the Chameleon-

“Oh… I think I know where I recognize her from now!” I really should apologize for the mistake, I mean how could I have not noticed who she was before?! Was a single strip of pink cloth really that great a difference? Kind of awesome actually that she can do the disguise in plain sight thing with so little.

“You do?” Wasabi our raven friend asked as he was working on some science stuff at the table.

“Yeah, that’s the mysterious hero Leap Lamb, the first person in the world to be fully confirmed as having outright Super Powers by internet forum crazies.” I said while raising my claws as I watched her approach El Fuego. “I’m talking some really cool stuff too, not like what we can do with science and its naturally occurring super powers unlike Globby. There’s a lot of evidence that she was actually born with her powers.”

“Really, super powers?” Oh you may be a skeptical little duckling now Hiro, but Leap Lamb was the real deal as we’ve all seen already.

“Is she seriously going to take on El Fuego alone?!” Honey Lemon was worried, given she was nervously pawing at one of her ears, but I wasn’t.

I’ve actually seen what Leap Lamb was capable of from what little they’ve managed to record of her in action.

“Ten bucks says she gets creamed.” Go Go stated with a purr.

“I’ll take that bet and say she’s the one that creams him!” Since I knew some things my friends didn’t, this was going to be awesome!

-Pom-

“Excuse me, could you please stop that?” I gently asked the masked bull inside the large mechanical armor painted red with flames.

“Oh and what are you going to do to stop me, you puny little sheep?” He taunted.

“I really don't want to fight.” I wasn’t going to let a maniac hurt people when I was around to stop him.

“You'd be a waste of my time anyway.” He laughed as he looked down on me. “Now Big Hero Six, there’s a challenge and I intend to get my revenge.”

“I don’t know who those are, but if you don’t stop this destruction immediately, then I will have to take actions that I really don’t want to.” Watching as the machine leaned down toward me, I put up both my front legs as he moved its right hand forward and flicked at me.

A screeching metal noise was heard as I took the impact on my wool and the street underneath me compacted slightly.

“What… how did you?” This big horned bull looked at the slightly damaged fingers of his mechanical armor. “I am El Fuego, who is the mutton before me that will be on my plate soon?”

“I don’t like it, but people do tend to call me Leap Lamb.” As soon as I told him who I was, he let out a burst of laughter. “I will prevent you from harming innocent people and revenge isn’t even a good reason for assaulting said people who have nothing to do with your revenge.”

“You, you are what so many various criminals are terrified of meeting? A tiny, little, scrawny looking, gangly legged, whimpering ewe is what has so many scared to even commit crimes!” El Fuego continued laughing, then stopped for a moment and then swing around his left arm at me. “This will not take long at all!”

I changed my stance to being on my hind legs before impact. The blow struck me quite hard, but that was a good thing when I was prepping Paprika’s wobble counter.

My body shook with the force of the blow landing on my upheld right leg as the ground cratered beneath me even more. My body wobbled as I forced all of the impact from the blow into my held out left leg and threw it upwards towards the chest of mechanical armor.

My blow struck true and the mechanical armors chest blew open in a shower of sparks, bits of metal and various cracks from the impact. It was sent upwards slightly before tumbling down the street a good ways away.

While it was tumbling, El Fuego tried to stop himself and eventually got both of the mechanical armors hands on the ground. It still went skidding for a few feet further before he could finally stop. He was now staring at me in shock as I stood my ground on my hind legs.

“I think it will take longer than you believe it will.” I said hesitantly, trying to sound braver than I actually was.

Sometimes I didn’t really know my own strength and that was a rather surprising hit even for me. Returning all that force with a wobble counter wasn’t easy on my body, I was glad I wasn’t on the offensive. I seriously hoped I didn’t need my magic claw thing for this.

-Go Go-

“Whoa did you see that?!” Yes Wasabi, we all just saw that less than a hundred pound ewe send a one ton mechanical armored guy a good forty feet back with a single, and highly damaging, hit.

“I’m glad that I still have my spine and that she didn’t want to break it.” I muttered, feeling less sure I could take her in a straight fight.

Even I wasn’t dumb enough to fight El Fuego by myself, but apparently Fred had already won that bet.

“What in the, there is no way she could put out that much force! That doesn’t make any sense!” Right there with you Hiro, I really doubt science could explain what just happened there.

That sheep didn’t look to be biologically or mechanically augmented, which was a far more terrifying thought that this was naturally what she was capable of.

“She will need tending to after the fight, I will be there to provide healthcare services.” Baymax stated as he watched the one Fred was calling Leap Lamb slowly move forward towards El Fuego getting back up.

What did Baymax know that we didn’t?

-Pom-

He charged his mechanical armor towards me screaming.

“I’ll not losing to something as tiny as you!” As he swung the right fist forward, I hopped into it and took it on all four of my hooves and used its momentum to launch off of it.

Exactly what I wanted as I held up a hoof and caught a light poles horizontal bar and started to spin around it.

When I released the bar I curled up as I went flipping towards him, I uncurled to slam my left rear leg into the right shoulder of the mechanical armor and then I brought my right rear leg down in a powerful blow that almost tore the mechanical arm off the armor.

Grabbing the upper portion of the arm below the shoulder with my front hooves, I swung around into clinging onto it and looking at him. I gave him a weak smile and he thrust his mechanical armors left fist at me in an attempt to knock me off and I jumped straight up.

The left arm of the mechanical armor immediately tore off the right in a painful shrieking noise of rending metal and I landed on the back of the left hand.

He flailed the armors left hand outwards in an attempt to throw me off as the right arm dropped to the ground.

“This can’t be happening!” El Fuego sounded angry as he brought the back of the left mechanical hand into the ground, I hopped up onto the forearm and immediately started hitting the elbow joint as roughly as I could with my left hoof.

He wrenched the arm around, but that still didn’t throw me off and he seemed to be having a problem figuring out how to get me here as I dealt more minimal damage to the elbow joint.

“What are you?!” He lowered the left mechanical arm and the mechanical armors left foot raised up and stomped down, I jumped onto the right legs knee as the mechanical armor tore of its own arm off at the elbow.

The mechanical armor became unbalanced standing one leg as I jumped from the knee and slammed an uppercut into the bulls chin and he went flying out of his armor as it toppled backwards with me standing on top of it.

“A little lambkin whose fleece is white as snow, and everywhere this ewe ends up, trouble is sure to fall low.” Sarcastically stating this as I leapt off mechanical armor and faced the bull on my hind legs, I was going to continue avoid using dancing flame as it wasn’t exactly good for my health at the moment.

The muscle bound miscreant got up and charged me horns first, I sprung upwards and he tried to raise his horns up to meet me.

It was already too late for him as I wrapped my hind legs around his neck from behind in a sleeper hold and brought both my hooves down on his skull staggering him making him exhale. Once that was done I tightened my hold on his neck and he started trying to grasp at me with his overly muscular arms.

Slowly but surely he started to faint and quietly raged as he swung around back and forth, He tried falling on his back and tried crushing me under his weight.

It didn’t work.

I slammed him in the back of the skull once more, the struggling grew weaker and I hit him with two more one hoof blows one after the other.

Once he was down and already keeling over, I let go of his neck and he got a breath of air and then he fell unconscious.

I calmly walk my way back to the restaurant while taking the pink strip of cloth from my forehead. I walked in, went up to Dolly and put the cloth back in my bag.

I sat down and then promptly slammed my face into the table groaning about how Arizona and my friends were right about me, I did have incredible potential… I’m only now seeing it and I would rather have a peaceful life then all of this stuff.

“You feeling okay there Pom?” Dolly asked sweetly.

“I’ll be fine.” I grumbled, I wasn’t happy with having to fight what was a super villain from a Power Ponies comic book.

I lifted my head to send a look to the five and Baymax, I was about to say something when Cass Hamada showed up with food and looked at me concerned.

“Are you okay?” Cass asked innocently as she started placing my food before me.

“I just got into an argument with someone and like all arguments, it ended with someone getting hurt.” Yeah, mostly my opponent.

I never wanted to be this violent, but guys like that tend to force my hoof when they started targeting innocent people for no good reason.

“She seems to be experiencing signs of heightened stress.” Baymax offered amiably as he waddled over to us. “I suggest you bring her some warm tea, possibly with a hint of milk to help her relax from her trying ordeal.”

“I doubt you could get her to relax, she’s got terminal magnetic trouble issues.” Dormarch stated dryly as Dolly put him on the table next to me. “Well that argument was certainly something, huh Pom?”

“I’m sure you’ll work things out eventually, now here’s a late lunch for the cute little animalistic ewe.” Cass stated as she spread her arms to the spread on the table before me and then she patted me on the head.

“Thank you for the food.” I sat up pulled up my chair closer and began eating as blue uniformed bipeds and animalistic showed up and arrested the unconscious El Fuego. “How much would this meal cost?”

“How about I make this on the house to cheer you up?” Cass said while smiling at me. “I’ve always wanted to try this and I will take an opinion as payment. Also I don’t exactly have an estimate on how much this would cost as this is my first time making it.”

“Thank you…” I mumbled and started eating what she placed before me, it tasted really good too. “Cheese, spinach, tomato sauce, carrots, crisp and not crunchy… is this pizza gyoza?”

“Yes, what do you think?” She looked at me expectantly.

“It’s actually pretty good, go a bit lighter on the cheese, shred the carrots a bit finer and put the sauce on the side.” I answered, then she pointed to the next few dishes for me to try. “Oh and can you recommend a good hotel for me? I’m thinking of calling it day.”

“I will if you drop by tomorrow morning for my breakfast rush. I have a few more vegetarian dishes I want to try out on you!” I will take Miss Hamada up on that.

-Hiro Hamada-

Aunt Cass, why?!

Comments

[Shadowshame]

That sheep didn’t look to be biologically or mechanically augmented, which was a far more terrifying that this was naturally what she was capable of.

There is a word missing here

[Herald of Opera]

Y'know, I read this yesterday and it only just clicked that the "banana heads" are adult Xenomorphs. To be fair, the color and texture is all wrong and actual bananas for heads weren't out of the question given all the weirdness. Still gives you an idea of just how OP the characters Pom has been comparing herself to are when high-end bioweapons are their idea of target practice.

[Fresnor]

She better hope nobody heard her, or her new hero catchphrase might spread.