Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows

36. Jombie Fight.

-The next day, Hidden Panda Village, Tigress-

I identified with Po on a number of levels, but this… how he trained the pandas was just ridiculous.

Smolder, was teaching a class some of the ribbon dancing lessons she learned from Viper to them. I could actually see a viable reason for this, given how adept Smolder became at wielding her ribbon in combat.

Mei Mei the local ribbon dancer was interested in what Smolder had to teach and even gave a few pointers of her own.

As for the rest of the training though? It was all so very odd.

Ocellus was playfully teaching the panda’s how to launch themselves and other things out of their hammocks, how to get more power out of them and how to aim the things being launched with more accuracy and varying levels of force.

Tai Lung taught a big panda how to hug with more force and he eventually joined Shanty in learning how to tumble and roll like the pandas, he even taught them how to lunge out of the roll and back into it.

The fact that my… brother? Do I even dare call him that? The fact that he was actually going along with this oddball training regimen that Po cooked up was quite weird, he was even actively participating in all the stuff Po was telling the pandas to do.

I thought Tai would think this was all a big waste of his time and that he’d be angrier about all this nonsense. Instead he embraced it and actually started leading the Jianzi exercise once Po got it started.

“I be learning this one from a handsome skunk friend who did this with plums.” Shanty had pulled off some weird spinning maneuver while keeping her dumpling in the air that had her twirling her hind legs widely in a rather intricate pattern while using her front legs to spin in place and twist her whole body around rapidly.

Some of the pandas even managed to emulate the strangely hypnotic movements Shanty was pulling off. Shanty decided to show them up by doing that while juggling three dumplings in the air with her hind legs in a rhythmic beat, before catching them all in her mouth.

For what it was, it was fairly impressive and Shanty deserved the applause.

“They are ready.” Po said with a grin.

“What…” To me, it looked like they just spent the whole day having fun!

The last thing Po did in when it was evening was get every panda to break a wooden board in a unique manner, some of them actually managed fairly decent punches.

-The next day, minutes before Kai’s arrival-

Okay, so maybe Po wasn’t just messing around, especially give that Tai Lung praised Po for his training methods for the civilians and the strategy we’ll soon be employing.

That’s… actually rather high praise coming from the likes of him. I had to be ready, Kai was already on his way to attack the village.

We eventually saw Kai come flying up to land a fair distance outside the village entrance, the bull had a smug grin on his face.

“So you must be the real Dragon Warrior.” Kai said as he pointed his right chainless green blade at Po. It appears Pom had done some lasting damage at least. “That fake didn’t put up much of a struggle and the coward even jumped to her own doom. You are the last thing standing in my path to total chi domination!”

“You must be General Kai, Beast of Vengeance and Maker of Widows.” Po certainly learned a lot from the scrolls Ocellus suggested to him.

“Thank you, almost makes me want to spare your life for at least knowing who I am.” As Kai said this he twirled his blades in both his hands by their handles. “Almost, I will…”

“Can we cut out all the chit chat and get this show on the road?” Po stated loudly in an annoying tone to rile up Kai. “We already know what you’re going to do, so let’s get started already!”

“As you wish!” Kai pulled out a number of green amulets from his belt and then he tossed them up and with an intricate weaving pattern with both his weapons to launch them all towards us.

The various amulets exploded into multiple jade statues to land in front of us.

I mentally cringed at the numbers we were facing, hopefully Po’s plan worked. Kai kept Oogway’s amulet around his neck and thankfully didn’t use it.

“Huh, they are all green, except Mantis… he was always green.” I glared at Po while getting into a defensive stance.

“Po!” I said flatly.

“Right sorry Tigress, focusing.” Po took his ready stance.

We were facing Mantis, Monkey, Fath-er-Shifu, Viper, Gorilla, Croc, Ox, Porcupine, Shen, Chicken, Crane, Bear and the Badger Twins. Bear was the most dangerous given he came armed with two axes he was wielding one handed.

-Shanty-

That... be a lot of Jombies to see from my position on the hill.

“Remember to stay high and safe Ocellus, watch out for Porcupine and go for raw force when using your magic.” Smolder stated as the battle started. “Got to go Ozzy, Mei Mei and I are going to be quite busy soon.”

Mei Mei be the head ribbon dancer of the village, she be learning how to wield nunchaku on Po’s recommendation. She be good with both that and a ribbon, at the same time no less.

Did this world just make learning how to fight easier? It be a fun world if that were true.

Smolder took off to go join the ribbon dancers that would try to lock down the Jombies and I watched Po begin to move as I got into position.

I watched as two Panda be taking down Jombie Crane after being launched from some hammocks. Po was up on a nearby roof and he signaled out to us.

I be charging forward and curling up with several other pandas as Po defended himself from several Jombies with a wok, we rolled through the snow and towards a cliff.

The pandas knocked a majority of the Jombies off the roof to the ground while damaging it.

I be following them off the cliff to uncurl into a flying double buck at Jombie Shen’s head to knock him off the roof, doing minor damage to him.

I curled up again as I fell to the ground and rolled a bit.

Once I be getting out of the roll to turn around, I narrowly dodged a knife to the neck that rammed into the nearby house up to the hilt behind me.

I saw a bit of my blood drip on the ground and felt a pain in my neck and not just the figurative one from seeing Shen again.

I think I can be taking Jombie Shen, who had just thrown that knife at me while he was still lying on his back from where I kicked him. He be looking even more dangerous now that he was a Jombie.

The Pandas started doing everything they could to fight the Jombies and keep them from ganging up on Po, Tigress or Tai Lung. Tai Lung immediately started dealing with the most dangerous looking one the Jombie Bear. The Gorilla was the next most dangerous, but was currently being pinned by the hugging panda who was managing to damage it just by his hug alone.

Shen kicked up onto his feet and my attention snapped to him as he pulled out that short spear sword to charge for me. He came in for a sweeping swing and I stood my ground by getting up onto my hind legs and waiting for him to close the distance.

I slung my right hoof around and forward to deflect his sweeping swing coming from my left and went to slash upwards with my left hoof. Only for him to spin with my deflection and fan his tail outwards.

His tail solid jade feathers be slapping me harshly across the face and it be cutting into my cheeks lightly. I also be knocked entirely off balance.

Shen leapt up continuing his spin to launch his right set of talons for my belly.

I stumble back and then he landed on that leg to kick upwards with his left. I hastily slashed both my front hooves downward to block him from ripping me open from my belly to chest. Unfortunately this be leaving me open for the incoming blade spear from my right and he be putting both his wings put into it.

A blast of magic struck him, damaging his head and caused cracks to form throughout it as his blade went past my eyes. I silently be thanking Ocellus as I pressed my advantage against the Jombie with an overhead left hoof swing.

Shen deflected again and got a light cut across my right shoulder as I tried to fall under the swing coming from my left.

I be launching my right hind leg upwards to the left as I fell to the side and landed a solid blow across the jade zombie’s chest creating a large gash and causing cracks to appear all throughout the Jombie’s body.

I rolled onto my back panting and my eyes widened as I saw Shen leaping to bring his spear blade down on me.

Lifting the rear half of my body the blade slammed down behind my butt, I pushed myself back slightly with both my front hooves and then lashed my rear hooves downwards damaged Shen’s wings with two crescent slashes. This be making Shen stumble away from his weapon.

I pressed my left hind hoof against the flat of the blade and kicked off of it to spin on my back and around like I did when I juggled those dumplings during practice. I added a bit more spin and then kicked my right hind leg out to rip off a large portion of Shen’s beak and lashed out with my left to clip his right leg doing some more damage.

I planted my front hooves and with a twist of my body, I popped backwards a few steps and into a standing position facing him.

He and I looked at the weapon.

We darted forward for it.

Shen’s damaged wings would have grabbed onto it before I could, but a ribbon wrapped around it and we both watched as the weapon was yanked out the ground.

Smolder grabbed her ribbon and brought the weapon around to slam up into Jombie Croc’s chin making the statue stumble, she spun and slashed the weapon across his chest and let her ribbon fly to the left in a wide sweep.

With a yank Smolder pulled the ribbon into flowing behind her and then heaved the ribbon overhead and with a simple snap of her wrist, Smolder impaled Shen’s weapon into the Jombie’s chest knocking it onto its back.

Something in the corner of my eye moved, I ducked as a jade knife went flashing over my head and quickly arced my left hoof upward to deflect the other knife Shen was trying to stab me with.

Before Shen could try any further a barrel slammed into him and his body be getting stuck in it, I look over my shoulder and waved to a panda that just helped me and he waved back while smiling brightly.

He quickly gained a look of worry and pointed behind me. I turned around to see Shen shredding the barrel with six knives, three in each wing. He leapt up and tossed all six of them at me.

I scrunched up and concentrated, trying to pool all my energy in my body and timed my new move as the knives were about to hit me.

“Yarr!” Throwing up my hooves, I then flexed them as I shouted at the knives, they stopped mid-air and fell straight to the ground.

I charged forward, performed a cartwheel and launched myself into a Wild Windmill heading for Shen.

All my hooves were creating a rapid series of circular white glowing crescents through the air as I flew towards him and the three knives he be throwing at me bounced off the crescent slashes I be making as I spun.

With a kick of my hind legs I sped up my rotations and then flipped to bring my right leg down.

“Be going back to where you belong you scourge!” My right leg impacted with Jombie Shen’s head, his entire body be cracking now. When I arced my left rear leg down it suddenly rippled with a bright white energy that seemed to encompass my leg and solidify into the shape of a crescent blade. I called out as I saw it. “Cutlass!”

My left leg be meeting no resistance as it went downwards and I flipped forward behind Shen to land on my hooves. My eyes darted around in front of me, all the Jombie’s around suddenly froze for some reason and the pandas started immediately taking advantage of it.

I be feeling a wind at my back and grinned as my hair was gently tussled by it.

-Tigress-

I just finished protecting the panda child that liked me and even had Po’s toy of me, that’s when I noticed that all the Jombie’s suddenly froze up .

I looked over to Shanty and watched as she just stood there with her back to Jombie Shen, slowly the jombie holding two knives in an aggressive manner split in half. His two halves slowly started to fall away… then, before they hit the ground, they exploded violently sending small shards of jade everywhere.

A grinning Shanty stood tall, despite some injuries, at hearing Kai cry out in agony.

It was also music to my ears as well. Here we thought Kai couldn’t be hurt, said bull was currently clutching his head in agony as Po approached him.

The various Jianzi playing panda kids started kicking firecrackers into the various jade zombie’s faces and I noticed that Kai was entirely disorient by everything.

I could see Ping and Li Shan working together to bash Jombie Chicken around, they were actually doing some damage too.

-Smolder-

Oh yeah, that definitely had an effect and Shanty looked awesome doing it. I narrowly dodged Croc trying to slap me across the face with the tail.

The whole village was in an uproar against the various Jombies, but the pandas were taking turns putting their skills into the fight. Mei Mei showed herself to be especially adept as she had both Badger Twins tied up with her ribbon and was slowly bashing them apart with the nunchaku.

After using Shen’s weapon to impale him, I was having problems with figuring out a way to finish off Croc.

Speaking of awesome things happening, Tai Lung apparently managed to steal one of the Jombie Bear’s axes and he just came in to swing it straight through the neck of Jombie Croc, completely decapitating him.

“Hey, thanks for the assist.” I stated plainly as I heard Kai crying out in agony again.

“Don’t count on it happening too often dragon.” He might try to sound like a jerk, but I think Tai Lung has turned himself around like Princess Luna. He turned back to Jombie Bear with the axe in both paws ready to continue his fight. “It’s not every day I get to face ancient master and rip them to shreds without worrying about killing them after all. In fact, you could say I’m cutting loose!”

Tai Lung gripped his axe and brought it down for an overhead swing that made Bear block with the shaft of his axe and brought him to his knees. He may be a jerk, but then again my people were jerks at times too.

I quickly looked to the air looking for a different Jombie to focus on, something chirped and I saw a green blur shooting for me.

“Agh!” I couldn’t even react before my left wing felt like someone rammed an icicle into it and I fell to the ground. I picked myself up while looking at the damage to my wing, I was guessing Jombie Mantis just knocked me out of the air.

A chirping noise came from my right and I turned only to see a powerful blast of magic and tiny bits of Jade going everywhere, plus more pained screaming from Kai.

“Are you okay Smolder?” Ocellus asked as she came in for a landing next to me.

“Mantis just messed up my wing.” Oh yeah, I was in pain.

“Yeah, sorry about that Smolder, couldn’t exactly control myself you know.” We both blinked and looked at where the Mantis Jombie used to be to see regular flesh and blood Mantis stretching most of his body out. “Ugh that was horrible, thanks for freeing me up from that, now if you’ll excuse me…”

Mantis leapt several times at high speed then rammed into Jombie Monkey and we then saw Croc run by with a determined look in his eyes as he aided several pandas by deflecting several of Jombie Porcupine’s rapidly fired quills.

“So… destroy a Jombie that was someone taken alive…” Ocellus stated slowly a small smile forming on her face.

“Yep and I have an idea of who to go for next, we could use some instant reinforcements, follow me!” I readied my ribbon as started charging for Viper, I couldn’t fly at the moment with how badly my wing was twisted. We saw Po fighting off Shifu Jombie as he was almost to Kai. I pointed to Shifu. “Ocellus!”

Ocellus turned and immediately fired a blast that knocked Jombie Shifu away and Po waved to us and ran towards a pained looking Kai.

With Ocellus’s help I can show Viper just how good I’ve gotten at using a combat ribbon, it was thanks to her that I could be both cute and violent at the same time! The best of both worlds really.

-Shanty-

I be seeing Mantis and Croc returned to normal, I be smiling brightly and then charging straight for Jombie Sheep-poo to keep him off of Po.

I lashed out with my left hoof only for him to catch it and kicked me in the chest, I rolled with the blow, but that be smarting like nothing else I ever felt. I be coughing quite a bit.

Might be biting off more than I could chew, but I be helping Po! Besides, when would I ever get another chance to buck mean old Sheep-poo into next week? Provided that I could hit him, he was really hard to keep up with and I hoped to one day be that capable.

-Po-

I managed to knock one of Kai’s weapons out of his hands and then got him in the Wuxi Finger Hold.

“Now skadoosh!” I performed the technique correctly… but it didn’t work. Why didn’t it work?! I tried it a few more times. “Wait, why isn’t it working?”

I quickly let Kai go and back off as he nearly struck my neck with his other blade held in his left hand.

“That technique only works on the living, I’m a spirit… AGH!!” He be clutching at his head in agony. “How… h-how… are they taking my chi from me? No matter, I will have won when I’ve finished…”

He grabbed up his other blade in his right hand and started to move forward, then he cringed and growled as he looked quite dazed.

I looked behind me and saw Viper helping Shanty with Shifu, wait Viper was back to normal?

I had to quickly go back to paying attention to Kai, as he strode forward to attack me with his blades, I ducked, dodged and even dived.

I must be looking pretty awesome right about now when I slapped him across the face with a hard right paw.

He kicked me back, but I didn’t go very far when I blocked it expertly!

“Enough, I will not lose here as you have no real method of defeating me!” Kai charged me horns first.

I caught them, lifted him up and then slammed him face first into the ground, didn’t slow him down at all as he was swing his blades up for my belly making me back up a bit. I continued to strike at him, but my attacks were doing nothing to him and all I could do was dodge.

Kai was right, but how was I going to find a way to take him out? I was banking on the Wuxi Finger Hold to take him down, but he’s a spirit warrior and it only works on the… living… I looked back towards Tai Lung, Tigress and all my friends fighting for their lives. Some of the Jombies were missing and others were warriors freed from Kai. If Kai wasn’t dealt with swiftly, he could just outlast us all and just ‘Rejombify’ my friends and family.

All I need was an opening, but Kai was really tough and it was hard to get in close with him attack with those blades of his.

“Haaaa-ULP?!” Kai came forward raising both his blades, but when he tried to bring them down he couldn’t as there were two familiar legs wrapping up under his arms over his shoulders to holding them back. “Wha-YOU?! Let go of me! How did you even survive?!”

Pom was on Kai’s back and was grappling him and he was struggling to throw her off, she had her eyes closed and she looked like she was concentrating on preventing him from being able to move. Even her hind legs were preventing Kai from using his legs to fall on his back to crush her.

I don’t even know when she arrived and didn’t even see her coming, I’d even bet that no one did. Pom just locked Kai in place and really helped save the day. Now I just had knock his weapons away and stop him from throwing her off.

I took in Pom’s form as I got closer. She looked haggard, battered, bruised, the discolored bandages meant she’s been bleeding and she looked partially frozen, yet she was still holding on for dear life as Kai tried to throw her off.

I quickly attacked Kai’s hands and kicked his weapons over the side of the nearest cliff and grappled him from the front putting my arms between Pom and him.

“Pom, I got him from here, let him go!” I gripped my own finger in the Wuxi Finger Hold. “Also… tell the others… I’m sorry.”

Pom opened her eyes and looked to me with a worried frown, she nodded lightly and then let go and dropped away from us.

I activated the Wuxi Finger hold immediately, taking Kai with me to the spirit realm with him screaming in rage.

-Pom-

I hit the snow, it was so cold and my whole body was numb.

I was surprised that I hadn’t contracted frostbite yet, at last I made it to the fight.

After watching Po and Kai disappear in a flash, all the Jombies stopped cold.

I was starving and needed some water, maybe a good night’s sleep.

I’d rather Po come back from whatever that golden flash was.

Was that what the Wuxi Finger Hold looks like when used? It was certainly eye searing.

“Pom!” I couldn’t even make a noise of pain as Shanty slammed into my chest crying and getting my frozen stiff wool wet, I soon found myself enveloped by two others.

I slowly returned the hugs, silently thanking Smolder for being so warm. I needed her heat.

“Po? PO?!” Tigress and Tai Lung both came to the site of where Po had been standing with a large number of pandas. “What happened?”

Author's Note:

Jianzi, the ancient art of the hackey sack with a badminton birdy.

I hope the fight scene was enjoyable, also I want to point out that the Jombies did have chips of jade flying off of them in the movie when they were attacked. They were never destroyed only stalled.

They were never destroyed because they were just that tough, but in this instance Shanty's hooves are magical so she does a lot more damage to the Jombie's than she would be otherwise capable of.

I foreshadowed this back with the Badger Twins and Porcupine given how much damage Shanty did to Porcupine.

Shen is not a 'Kung Fu Master', much less a 'Kung Fu Warrior', he is a black and white warrior with red markings on his tailfeathers and is more like an assassin in his fighting style. I hope I portrayed that well enough.

Comments

[Shadowshame]

Nice chapter and now I’ll dive right into the next one