Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows

96. Leap Lamb and Caper Canine #2.

Author's Note:

If you have ever played The Simpsons arcade, then you know skateboards make decent weapons.

you can use the music from the previous page.

Also... to show how dangerous Dolly's skateboard actually is if she weren't using it bluntly...

You can watch one of the free shorts, if this story is too boring right now.

-Equus, Ponyville, Silver Stream-

“So I find Gallus really quite adorable when he squeaks!” I was talking to the one person that has been quite special to me since I was born. “So it’s been months since they started on finding a single solution to rescuing our friends, is what they are doing really that difficult?”

“Don’t know what to tell you sis, interdimensional travel is dangerous and they are still trying to fix all the holes in our world that were partially by Starswirl the Bearded first.” My brother Terramar was one of the friendliest hippogriffs ever, he enjoyed being a sea pony from time to time nowadays. I mean we grew up a bit separated by our species, but this was my brother and I haven’t spent time with him like this in a while. “Apparently using other worlds as dumping grounds for dangerous magical artifacts is an exceptionally dumb thing to do. So yes, it is far more difficult than it seems. They are seriously working on it from what I can tell.”

“You have no idea how difficult it is to get a long range teleportation potion to work, but don’t blame Starswirl for everything now… unicorns used to use teleportation without safeties included in that particular spell for hundreds of years back in his time before Celestia plugged that particular hole and made sure that every unicorn knows why the safeties are in place. Considering her own abuses of interdimensional travel caused all kinds of havoc. Before the teleportation spell unicorns used a natural form of teleportation that was called ‘blinking’ or ‘winking’, which was a more limited form of teleportation, but since it was naturally occurring it had those safeties in place already as it was something all unicorns could do.” Kuril was treating us to lunch today, but she wasn’t making lunch for us. I didn’t know whether to feel gypped or sorry for Kuril. “So the Sieve Precarious really is kind of a thing, given that Discord created it and it has those safeties on it that don’t blow holes in the dimensional wall of our world. That means Discord is surprisingly blameless for all of this. Now Teumessian Foxes, otherwise known as ‘blink foxes’, their form of ‘blink’ was entirely different and is why unicorns figured out the unsafe version of teleportation in the first place. It took a while for Celestia to notice the problem and by then it was almost too late to save our world from dimensional collapse, if a unicorn comes out slightly burnt then that means the safeties of the spell kicked in. If you do your research, you’ll find that Twilight and the ponies she has on this are actually doing all they can to ‘safely’ return your friends home. Without forcing them all going straight through Tambelon first for the sake of dimensional stability.”

“Is it really that bad?” I asked quietly.

“Like you wouldn’t believe, my daughter Jaded accidentally calculated a way to destroy our entire universe and every parallel of us thereof utilizing a single highly unsafe teleportation… that moves a living being about three inches to the right. Her dyscalculia is so apocalyptic, any math done by my Jaded has to be erased with incredible haste. You'll have to meet her sometime so she can tease her brother about you, when she's not off trying to fix the whole world's economy. Now that I've said that out loud, it sounds absolutely stupid to have her doing that...” Kuril shuddered and rubbed at her shoulders. “That someone can feasibly create a destructive chain of dimensional collapses warrants all the cautious research they are absolutely putting into it. That, is why it is taking so long.”

“Yeah, have patience sis, they are actually doing their best.” Terramar put a comforting claw on my left shoulder.

I just wanted to hug Ocellus and Smolder again… provided that Smolder is tired of hiding how cute she is.

“So... anyone want to discuss all the weird things that happened when Pinkie got into a hug fight with that alpaca?” My smile made Terramar and Kuril perk up.

-Earth, Camden Town, streets, Dolly-

“Do you remember when we were still investigating an odd bodyguard?” The more acrobatic purple eyed rabbit officer kicked off the wall and, while upside down in the middle of a flip, blew the head off one of the mandrill machines and kicked off another’s chest. “I wish we could go back to that now!”

“At least the local police are cordoning off the area, not that it’ll stop that airship from dropping any more outside of it.” While that was going on her fox partner was dodging and blasting them when he got the chance, he was staying on the ground and was proving to be just as good as his partner.

Neither of them could actually take these things on in a direct confrontation physically, but they were managing to the best of their ability with their weapons. That meant Pom was just that incredible when it came to fighting them with her bare hooves.

Speaking of partners mine was gliding through the air after the bad guy in that flying boat up there and she was getting shot at a lot, I just have to figure out how to get up there to help her.

Now if only I could find the time to do that!

I bounced my skateboard up and brought the rear end around to rip the arm off the machine I was dealing with and landing on the nose of my board, I bounced backwards and slammed the machine mandrill’s big butt with the rear of my board and knocked it onto its face.

Pearl was sticking near me and protecting me, I always thought she was a cool horse and now she’s just proving me right. She had once tried to explain to me what being a community police officer was about, but I wasn’t exactly paying attention at the time.

I looked up and quickly skated into an alleyway as a series of energy blasts rained down on the street by those flying platforms with the bullet proof glass stuff on the front of them. The two officers with those strange energy pistols were doing a good job of dodging the attacks from above, as was Pearl surprisingly despite her larger size.

If stuff like this existed before, why was I only seeing it now?! Camden Town hasn’t experienced anything quite like this before when Cruella was still around and hunting down my family.

Some of those flying machines were flying quite low, now if I could figure out how get onto a nearby roof from here. I could wedge my skateboard into the bricks of the wall and… yes, I think I could do that!

I hopped my skateboard up and got the backend upright as the nose of my board stuck into the brickwork. With a kick I was in the opposite wall with the front of my board pointing skywards and the tail of my board in the brickwork now.

Bouncing between the two walls on my board I finally managed to get close enough to the fire escapes to quickly climb my way onto the roof, this wasn’t exactly safe by any means… and this kind of thing is exactly why I broke one of my hind legs once.

Skateboarding wasn’t a safe hobby, but having a nurse dog for a mom really helped with all my cuts, scrapes and injuries from it.

Holding my skateboard under my right leg as I scampered across the roof on three legs, I looked for a good target to do what Pom did and steal one of those flying machines. Hopefully without it blowing up underneath me.

I couldn’t cling to surfaces like Pom did or even do all the magical things she could, that’s why I had my own set of skills that I could to bring to all of this. I’m fairly sure my brother Dante suggested I bring my board strap to help me with all of this this.

Dante had to of seen this all of this coming and whatever he told mom and dad… they were really worried about me this morning. I didn’t have much of a stake in all of this fighting, aside from protecting my home, acting like a hero and Pom.

I could just back out now, but I wanted to help and as far as being a normal dog goes… well I would really miss my daily routine of chasing the mailman with my brothers and sisters.

I was definitely going to show animalistic levels of intelligence if I went through with this and it might draw attention to my family. Not that I hadn’t already blown the lid off of that genies lamp by taking out that large gorilla thing that started squeezing Pom to death.

I swallowed and planted my board on the roof and waited for one of the machines to shoot by as I watched Pearl aid the two police officers. I might only have one shot at this depending on how badly this goes, if I missed then I hoped I was landing on one of those mandrills bots at least.

“Sorry if I get hurt doing something crazy Dylan!” I announced over the world wide woof in the loudest barks I can manage, then kicked the board forward.

“Please don’t tell me you’re in the middle of all that Dolly!” My bro called back and I rolled my eyes as I burned down the slant of the roof.

Launched of the edge with a well time kick to the back edge of the board. Dylan sounded close by, probably coming this way from the park. That’s not important, I had to land this!

The flying machine was right in my path and… I barely missed the back end of one of the flying machines and felt a sharp jerk that made me yelp loudly. Looking up I saw that I might have missed it… but my board strap hadn’t and was caught onto the back end of it.

“Dolly!” I heard Dylan calling out over the world wide woof.

“I’m okay, just a minor setback, now stop talking and let me focus here!” I shouted back, which earned the attention of the mandrill piloting this thing.

It swerved and tried to slam me into the nearest building instead of continuing its attack run on Pearl, quickly angled my skateboard up at the wall and rode along it and then kicked off the wall.

The strap unhooked, I brought my skateboard from under me to above my head and slammed the top rear of it down on the metal mandrill’s head sending showers of sparks and busting it slightly. My step brother Dawkins would probably want to get a good look at what I was seeing, I couldn’t make heads or tails of this complicated stuff.

The mechanical mandrill, making several disturbing jerky movements, started to turn around and get out of the seat. I quickly whipped my board around using my strap and struck it in the chest sending it toppling off the machine into the streets below.

Securing my beloved board to my back, I quickly hopped into the seat and stood up on my hind legs to grab the bar shaped controls with my front paws… my dog, how did Pom figure this out?!

Well it looked simple enough, now I had to figure that out before I slammed into the bank.

“Rotate the right grip!” Dawkins voice came in loud and clear, I quickly did so and scraped a large chunk out of the banks roof. “Rotate the left grip, push forward on the control bar!”

The machine slowed down and evened out to a crawl or a really slow forward hover as I did what Dawkins shouted.

“Now can you bring it to me as an early birthday present?!” Of course Dawkins would want something this awesome to tinker with. My brainy step brother did create the kibble pump and several other gadgets we use around the house, his tail had to be wagging like crazy at getting one of these hover things.

“Dawkins!” Dylan shouted at our brother, likely for not thinking about me. “Dolly, are you alright?”

Called it.

“Aside from some minor strap burn, I’m okay… for the moment!” I barked and howled back. “Can I get some more controls here and how did you even figure them out Dawkins?”

“By watching the machines control them, we’re far enough away from the action and watching this through some binoculars!” Couldn’t see them from here, then again I was hovering over the rooftops and out of sight of the other flying machines. ”As for controls you already have up and down, left and right, slow down and speed up, what more do you need to know?!”

“How do I fire the weapons or more importantly… how do I land this thing without crashing it?!” You know I’m not big on the science junk here guys. I’m not exactly a big fan of science fiction either, but here I am on something clearly made by that doctor guy whose hanging around up in the clouds.

“The triggers should be slightly below the bar!” Looking underneath the steering and flicking the trigger Dawkin’s mentioned, a single burst of energy blasted out and forward into the sky. Hoped that didn’t hit anyone. “As for landing… well I don’t know, but they obviously took off and none of them have ever landed since! If there is anything else on the controls up there, then that may do it. Look if you want help Pom, then might you want to get going now!”

I looked up and saw Pom zipping around streaks of energy coming from the airship as she got closer to it. I looked down and hit one of the three buttons at the center of the bar with my left paw. The vehicle stopped and it started to slowly drop, I hit again and then it was back to moving forward again… power button like the one on the television, got it.

I tested the second button and nothing happened at least until I tried to turn towards the airship and flipped the entire machine upside down. It slowly came to being right side up as I dangled from the steering bar holding on for my life with my paws. I quickly hit the second button, the vehicle stopped rolling and right itself immediately. Note to self… do not hit that one again.

I looked at the third button, it was bright red and had a skull symbol on it and it was underneath some thick plastic covering that looked easy to lift up. Yeah, no… I was smart enough to know a self-destruct button when I see it, too many afternoons of watching Duck Dodgers with my dorkier brothers.

“Don’t wait up for me guys!” I turned and pulled back on the bar and started moving forward, I twisted the right handle and started rising into the sky. “Also Dawkins, if those police officers manage to shoot down one of these things, then you should wait until there is no longer danger around!”

That said, I started heading straight of the airship and noticed that several of the flying vehicles were flying away from the banks at high speeds with what looked like several pallets. Do I try to…? Pom’s in danger!

I turned my attention forward and pulled back on the bar and burst towards the airship, where I could see her panicking as she had to fight several of those large armored mechanical things. She was dodging their attempts to get her into a grapple like the first one I took care of had when it started crushing her, it was either that or they were trying to smash her and were mostly just doing damage to the airship trying to hit her.

I could see several smashed mandrills on top of the airship already and the four smoking pillars with mandrill parts mixed. It looked like Pom dealt with the flying boats guns by throwing those baboon butted bots into them.

Those armored gorilla things were the main problem, literally, and Pom was having a hard time damaging them. They were also pretty fast for something so large and Pom couldn’t get a hit in on their heads.

Not only that, but the other flying machines were ignoring me and already flying inside with all that stolen stuff!

Veering slightly to the left and behind the ship, I twist the left handle a bit and lowered myself into position. I hope Pom received this over our bond, I moved my inner most digit on my right paw and hit the trigger hard.

A series of rapid fire blasts of green energy started hitting the large guys, Pom quickly moved out the way and I could hardly miss them.

Seeing that randomly spraying them wasn’t working I started focusing all the shots on one of them, the blasts eventually ripped through the machines armor and it blew apart damaging the other three slightly and caused a small hole in the ship.

“Oh come on, a dog on one of my hover scooters is helping you now, really?!” I swerved to the right and kept pouring on the shots on the one closest to Pom now, as she evaded it bursting forward at her with jets erupting from its back.

I got a mental feeling to hold my position, why did Pom need me to…?! The machine turned around and Pom moved in such a way that it moved its head into the path of my shots and took a hit from the many rapid shots pouring out of the machine.

The head blew apart in one shot and the gorilla machine flopped over lifelessly and exploded creating a large hole in the top of the boat. That hole started smoking as one of its propeller poles snapped off and flew away.

I hoped that didn’t land on anyone…

Pom sent me some frustration through our bond, making me realize my shots were just hitting empty air now. I stopped firing and veered back to being behind the airship.

I watched as Pom flipped backwards onto the arms of a gorilla as it slammed them together in a bear hug manner at where she was, Pom hopped backwards to cling around the head of the machine.

She started hitting it with her left hoof and the metal around the head started to warp and it began stumbling about dizzily. Yet she wasn’t focused on it raising its arms towards her.

What was she…? The other machine spread out its arms and bursts forward with the claws on it rotating rapidly.

Now that I was paying attention, Pom currently felt miserable as she leapt straight up and forward while spreading her front legs out. This also spread out two large flaps of wool that made up her wings I saw earlier.

The gorilla machine slammed into the other one and they both went spiraling off the back of the boat towards the ground as Pom’s wool snapped back to being normal and she dropped to the deck.

Really hoped those didn’t land on anyone… unless it was Cruella. I’d be completely okay with a freak, totally random, accident like that.

“Pom, what do I do now, they’ve stolen some stuff from the bank… how do we get it back?” Pom motioned to me to keep flying and a quick mental feeling of us moving further away. “Uh, no, we’re not leaving, we need to at least take this guy down so he can’t cause anyone else problems!”

Pom gave off a huff and nodded in acceptance, before going into the ship while sending a feeling of me and aggressive to the flying boat.

She was going after that Dr. M guy personally and felt fairly reluctant doing it at that, wasn’t she supposed to be some brave super guard and catch the bad guys?

Maybe she was more of a community police officer like Pearl was and cared more about the people than the possessions, makes sense to me at least why she felt like she was bemoaning doing all this cool stuff!

-Pom-

I broke through the hatch, slid down the ladder and started was inside a corridor after opening a door. I didn’t know where Dr. M was steering this thing from and if I saw another gorilla machine… yeah I wasn’t liking this at all, but at least I knew their heads were weak points if I could hit them hard enough.

The airship had a flat top, bulging balloons around the sides and propellers helped with lift. It used to have four powerful energy turrets before I threw a monkey wrench at them, well technically exploding mandrills.

I had thought this world was Equus civilizations of normal, mostly safe, somewhat sane and nothing bizarre would happen to me… I was clearly and horribly wrong.

I really should have known after running into a dog with Grimm prediction powers!

What this Dr. M guy was getting away with, wouldn’t be nearly as much as he would have if his assault on the bank had been successful. I wanted to cut my losses, but Dolly wanted to make sure this Dr. M would have a harder time getting resources and I, reluctantly, agree that it would be helpful if he couldn’t attack normal people like this so soon afterwards or get around as fast.

Something exploded, it seems like Dolly was actively attacking the ship.

“Okay mutt, you’re asking for it! You’re going to get receive the remainder of my air scooters before you destroy my ship, I paid Arpeggio good money for this thing to be up to my expectations!” Dr. M sounded quite angry as his voice reverberated throughout the ship. “You’re intellect is so insignificant compared to all the fleas that cover your body!”

I just realized something. Dr. M was the only other being on this ship, everything else was machinery so…

I put my nose to the floor and sniffed, I felt a stronger scent in a given direction and started to following it. I just hoped Dolly was okay, she is the one that is panicking now.

“Wait… where’s that leaping and lunging lamb?” Does Dr. M remember I existed? “Intruder, how many… I’m going with the mutants next time! Better hurry Leap Lamb, or else you’re capering canine companion will be shot down! Wait, am I still broadcasting this out loud?”

-Dylan-

“He’s new to this whole super villain thing isn’t he?” I asked as I looked through the binoculars as the ship was soaring off into the distance with Dolly being attacked and there was nothing we could do about it.

“I’d surmise that you’d be correct, it’s like he’s mostly worked from stealth for his entire life before this. We would have heard about him before this otherwise and this is his first loud action, fortunately Pom was there to make sure no one got hurt.” Dawkins started to leave. “Now if you’ll excuse me I have an idea for a petting machine if I can get one of those robots nearly intact. The flying scooters are much harder to get all in one piece, but if I can have several samples from the destroyed ones in the fighting still going down in the street…”

“Be safe Dolly...” I really didn’t want to believe Dante when he said this was coming, if she hadn’t taken her skateboard strap then… she might have broken a leg or all four of them from hitting the street at that height and that was just the optimistic side of me talking. “Wait up Dawkins!”

Comments

[Darkonshadows]

10872821

There's Hunter De Ville from 101 Dalmatian Street already in the story (As a duck in this story, a human kid in the actual show).

Hunter the Cheetah Warrior first appears in Spyro 2, but yeah that Hunter is a bipedal cheetah.