Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows

111. Business Tiger.

111. Business Tiger.

-World: ???, Oleander-

“Who’s a good dog, you’re a good dog, yes you are!” The creature I was hugging was this strange blue furred lithe male monster dog thing that was said to have hatched from an egg and had an unusually large fascination with bladed weapons. Fred informed me, from what he read of this world, they learned to throw shuriken at five minutes old. Usually said shuriken is crudely constructed out of chewed bone of the local fauna. To think their puppies were just that adorably lethal. “Do you think Pom would appreciate having one of these as a friend?”

“She certainly would get the point if we got her an egg… HEHEHE.” I ignored Fred’s evil giggling and set about tracking one of these creature’s eggs down.

-Earth, Germany, Autobahn roadside campsite, Shanty-

“This road is being quite fun.” That I could let Dodo run free, just so long as he doesn’t bother or go near anyone at the speeds he can be running, was a nice change of pace for him.

“Yeah, I like it too Shanty.” Murray said with a grin as he ate his food from Germany’s regional Hippo Burger. “We should come back and test out some improvements on the van when Bentley gets around to making them, maybe the van will be capable of even keeping up with Dodo!”

“I swear you two wouldn’t know nutrition if it bit you on the…” Mopsy’s grumbling died off as she started eating her fried apples.

“While the autobahn does have speed limits, it’s really quite hard to enforce anyone going over them given how long this stretch of road goes on for. Over half of this road can be driven at unrestricted speeds.” Bentley be giving us trivia knowledge about this road, don’t know when I might be needing it though. “We just have to watch out for cameras set up all along the road and fudge the radar to detect how fast we’re moving...”

“I’m sure you have it covered Bentley.” Looking up at Sly standing next to Bentley and narrowed my eyes.

I quickly be rolling away from my spot before Sly could steal my food from behind me.

“I guess you saw through my thief standee this time Shanty.” Sly gave a short laugh. “Guess I can’t steal from you today.”

I be helping him train to leave behind believable standees of himself, he be getting quite spooky with it now. It also be helping me train my skills at keeping aware of what be going on around me.

-Africa, Zootopia, Savanna Central district, Pom-

This district was a little more busy than the rest of the city, Downtown district being the busiest of all, if there was one thing I could say about Savanna Central… it was the place you’d go to do some shopping and was also where Zootopia’s city hall was located.

It had a quaint little park in the middle of the shopping mall that we were exploring, after the skateboarding Dolly did this morning she wanted to do a tourist thing. No helmet, no skateboard, Dolly left those back at Gazelle’s place.

I think I finally saw something that had garnered my interest.

“Say Dolly… if we were to get a personal device for our use, then wouldn’t you be able to keep in contact with your family?” As hasty as I knew Dolly could be, she was still reticent about talking to me when it came to her issues.

I think I see our similarities in being anxiety prone, Dolly just hides it better behind a peppy upbeat personality. Also I wasn’t wearing that pink bit of cloth in case it had magical properties, which I wouldn’t know how it could as it didn’t feel magical to me. Magic wasn’t practiced openly on this world apparently or it was always reasoned out as something else being the cause, magic is so easily explained away as swamp gas as far as I know.

Dolly looked at where I was looking and saw an electronics store, Equus wasn’t exactly at this level of technology yet and I really didn’t want to bring any technology home that could cause problems. In this case, I didn’t want to be ignorant of local technology like I was ignorant about how a being like Dodo works.

In the case of bringing Dodo home with us… well he counted as biological by the definition of what makes up the differences between familiars and golems. Shanty had better make sure Dodo didn’t fall into the wrong hooves when we got back to Equus, though I think it would actually be pretty hard to catch Dodo.

“Yeah, but I’m not exactly technology savvy like my brothers are. If I can access a computer or the internet with a device, then I would know how to send them a message at the very least.” Thankfully enough, Dolly knew how to get in touch with her family. Wished I could do the same thing. “Do we even have the cash for that?”

I’ve been told about the existence of the World Wide Woof, but that was mostly about dogs blanketing a local area with howls to carry their voices along and was just recognized worldwide and not actually a worldwide magical network accessible only by dogs or beings that could howl like them.

“Well…” We had enough funds to buy food for the next three days, not anywhere nearly enough for a plane ticket back to Camden Town and on a plane that will allow dogs. With what we have, we can afford a device, but we’d be setback by a bit and even more so if we didn’t get one that could fit exactly what Dolly knows how to use. I wanted Dolly to stay in contact with her family. “Yeah, we can make it work, provided we keep it cheap.”

Dolly seemed to be considering it, I could feel the desire in our bond.

The flow of foot traffic suddenly change and I blinked, it looked like something was going on nearby at a stage that was set up in the small park.

“Think about it Dolly, something is going on over here.” Taking up her up in my hooves, I put Dolly on my back and started to follow the crowd to see what was going on.

After spending most of our morning with Dolly exercising her skateboard skills, we separated from Gazelle to do some exploring.

Mars was still stealthily following us, I don’t think Dolly has noticed yet, he was energetic and curious about us and was expecting something to happen that would require his attention. It was like Mars knew the same thing that I did and was just waiting for it, something big was bound to happen when I’m around.

Mars was a playful figure and moved around lightning fast, kind of like a beach ninja. If most people didn’t notice a bright yellow and black spotted being like him in broad daylight, then they likely wouldn’t since he was just that good at stealth. If anything happened, then I’m sure he could handle it and it was nice to have someone watching out for us.

“Ahem… introducing, from Kahn Industries, the man and creator of the Kahn Industries himself Shere Kahn!” The well-groomed business suited lion introduced a cold looking graying tiger, also in a business suit, to the crowd and he surveyed everyone with a calculating gaze.

His gaze stopped on me for a moment and I tilted my head at him curiously as he raised a brow in curiosity and extreme interest, but continued to survey the crowd as if he hadn’t taken a moment of great interest in me or Dolly.

“Eh… there’s something about that guy that kind of gives me the creeps Pom, he’s making my fur stand on end just looking at him.” Which was hard to notice as Dalmatians were short furred dogs Dolly.

“I think it’s more than that, he seemed interested in us in particular… more so me than you.” I’ve never met the old man in my life, but he did seem to have the ability to read people. He’s probably interested in me because of the whole ‘Leap Lamb’ thing or for some other reason entirely.

“Ahem, hello good people of Zootopia, I thank you for welcoming me to this fine city. Kahn Industry Airlines has been making deliveries to this city for years and it is time has delivered a new product.” This Shere Kahn started of slowly, calmly and methodically as he spread his arms out. The black wall behind glowed with light and showed a device. “Something affordable, efficient and capable of withstanding lots of punishment while trekking through the wilderness or just an everyday accident at home. Kahn Industries would like to announce its new product before the world and I will personally be giving one to a lucky member of the audience before me today.”

The old tiger sent a glance my way, I had a feeling I knew what he was going to do and he narrowed his eyes faintly when I gave him a flat look. He had a very light smirk on his face as if he knew what I had figured out, he waited for the excitement from his rather attentive audience to die down.

I wasn’t a lucky audience member, I was his choice for his needs and I would be getting something from the deal he was making. He was all business.

Lowering his right arm and he held out his paw to the image behind him.

“This is the Personal Exploration Terminal or PET, a device that can be wielded regardless of whether or not one has the digits to do so.” Of course, that’s where he was going with it, but I still had a feeling there was far more to it. “It can be used to connect to the internet, can make phone calls and has a very powerful virus protection software packet, it’s quite portable and...”

With a motion to someone nearby, the screen showed a baseball bat being taken to the PET by a panther. The panther picked up the device and showed that it was just scuffed and in perfect working condition.

“Is quite durable as I’ve stated. It will stop a nine millimeter round from a hand gun, several if you’re lucky, and will still continue to function afterwards if in need of dire repair. It is waterproof and can easily wielded by scuba divers. It has a powerful solar power battery that can last up to twenty four hours outside of direct sunlight, with direct sunlight it can last for up to three days of constant use a week if sparingly used.” He was an experienced elder gentleman in the business world, I knew that much from just looking at him. He was calm, collected and always had knowledge of his place in the world. He was also profiling both me and Dolly like I was profiling him. “This device, also has one unique feature. One that makes it the pinnacle of the future beyond the tablets, smart phones and many other devices in use today… for it has an artificial intelligence built into it. The life of the artificial intelligence in a PET is, immeasurably enough, tied to the very device that houses it and is what limits it from growing out of control. Without the device, the intelligence will not survive as a safety precaution against going… rogue. Rogue as in what someone would see in a science fiction film.”

Shere Kahn seemed to have a history from the way he paused and the way he said ‘rogue’ sent shivers down my spine and reminded me of Nicole Beta telling the history of Elhorn.

“The intelligence will learn from its user and then become a companion of sorts… the intelligences however are not capable of cyber warfare beyond the defensive measures that are installed into them to destroy any virus’s that try to steal any data from the PET, which they will wield directly.” While Shere tried to sell the device to the audience, I looked at the diary sized object. “More importantly… the AI is impossible to hack. It will recognize the user by sight, sound and personality, iy will protect your data from being accessed from within… and without ‘if’ stolen…”

The crowd seemed to be into it now and I looked to Dolly. He looked at me when he said the word ‘stolen’, meaning he was giving it to me knowing I could keep it safe.

“Well, we needed a device, looks like we’re about to get one if I’m right about what this guy wants with me.” I muttered to Dolly, she nodded and we went back to paying attention to the tiger. “He’s going to call us up, don’t bark or get angry at him Dolly. Just stay calm and be nice, even if he is using us to further his own goals. This device could save us some money if it isn’t some kind of trap.”

“Kind of reminds me of those Fetch things my family had to get rid of, only this thing sounds much smarter... which reminds me that it was kind of weird that those ‘Fetch’ things could understand us dogs.” Dolly didn’t seem to feel one way or the other about the PET device, but her feelings on Shere Kahn were coming through strongly. “They freaked out my brother quite a bit, which is understandable now that I think about the fact that those devices were likely made by an animalistic or biped. Plus the whole same day delivery thing was always quite suspect… where did those things come from again? Eh, probably doesn’t matter, nothings come of it for months.”

Dolly didn’t like the tiger and I don’t think it was because he was a feline animalistic.

“Now as to the first being to own a fully operational PET months before it debuts officially will be…” He was glancing around the crowd as if trying to make the decision randomly, but it was a sham. “You there, the unique individual with the unusually calm dog on your back. Come up here on the stage, I figure someone with a pet should receive one.”

“Call me a pet again and I will find a way to make him the most miserable tiger in the world…” Dolly growled lightly, I patted her on the head and got her to calm down by sending her heartwarming thoughts through our bond as I made my way forward.

“Really sir?” I asked as I walked up on stage and played along.

“Of course, may I know the name of this young beauty as my people bring you the first ever PET to become operational?” He was laying it on thick, the guy was still as cold and calculating as he spoke in a warm tone.

“Well if you ‘must’ know my name Mr. Kahn, it is Pom.” He smiled a bit at hearing the hint of suspicion in my voice.

“A lovely name for a lovely young lady trying to find her way in the world. The PET will help, as you seem to enjoy wilderness hikes and you look like you don’t have any devices personally.” If he was referencing the poachers like I thought he was, he was certainly interested in ‘Leap Lamb’ as much as he was me. “Please, I would wish to speak with you after I’m done with the presentation of my product, the last one I’m going to give to the world before retiring.”

He seemed truly melancholy, he’s had a long and hard life of being a business mogul. Still it was suspicious that he was trying to play the grandfatherly angle.

“Sure... okay…” The device was brought up to Mr. Kahn and I glanced at Dolly to make sure she wasn’t going to do anything, she got the message and stayed fairly calm on my back while watching Shere Kahn like a griffon would an abandoned golden coin.

I took it in hoof and looked it over.

“You wouldn’t happen to be a farmer’s daughter would you, not much technology where you’re from I take it.” Shere seemed to have too much of a good impression of me already.

“If you mean to say that I’m from rather rural lands, then yes.” I could dance just as well until I find out what this tiger wanted with me. “I do enjoy camping as much as farming.”

“Here you go, I hope you find this to be useful in whatever you may eventually end up doing. I wouldn’t mind a good review of what I’m bringing into the world before retiring to Cape Suzette.” He held out the device towards me and I reached up with a hoof to take it. He then whispered. “Do try to be careful with it now, you’re quite an amazing individual and this is a very special device that I absolutely want to succeed. It will do well in your hooves, do smile for the cameras now…”

I did smile for the cameras as I took the device and Dolly gave several meaningless barks and a posed for attention on my back.

“So… how do I turn this on?” The thing about this device was that it looked a lot like the one that used to house Nicole Beta, it had bright blue accents and the straps were simple if effective look.

“Already eager to learn about it, the very reason you are on this stage is to give a live demonstration.” Shere Kahn stated loudly for the audience, he really wanted this device to work out didn’t he? He showed me something on the diary sized device in my hoof. “Being a hooved quadrupedal animalistic such as yourself, it is easy enough with a onetime button press to activate it. Afterwards the button will never need to be pressed again. It will take a matter of seconds to boot up and all operations will begin. After that you will begin the process of making this device uniquely yours. It will start as a newborn, but it will quickly become a friend. One you may need in your line of work.”

I hit the button and was quite nervous to have so many eyes all on me, I’m a little surprised that there weren’t many people that recognized me as Leap Lamb. Did the people around here just think that all lambs on this world looked alike or something?

The screen lit up and I seriously hoped that this didn’t lead to a strange time loop situation like what Nicole Beta was going through. I really shouldn’t have asked about Mobius… but I just had to know. Now I would live with keeping that slightly terrifying knowledge in mind.

On the screen appeared a blob and several questions, the most pertinent being that it was asking for my name. If this was eventually going to be something like Nicole Beta, but entirely incapable of having its own body, well I would just try to treat it with respect and protect it. If it could become a life, then it would when magic was involved… Dodo was proof of machines being capable of it.

“My name is Pom Lambchop, adult female sheep, green, Britain, male Dalmatian, Dormarch Dalmatian, make your design unique within the confines comparable to my companion Dolly’s athletic body type, not applicable at the moment, no job to speak of currently, bodyguard, martial arts Instructor, homemaker, waitress, cook, professional dog trainer, situational super hero, a quiet meadow full of flowers, a nice hearty vegetable soup, camping and we will be traveling a lot.” I answered every question until there were no more questions on the screen. I turned to Shere Kahn. “Well?”

“It will take it a while to process you’re…” Shere said when the machine dinged and I felt my right eye twitch as I felt a faint feeling of a familiar bond forming ever so slowly, I forced myself to not glare at the screen. I probably shouldn’t have made the avatar a dog or any kind of canid to speak of. I heard some of Shere’s muttering. “Faster than expected… wrong with it… Leap Lamb’s unique presence perhaps… seems to be operating within parameters…”

“Hi there!” A happy sounding voice stated, I really wanted to groan audibly. “I really like you Pom! You’re going to be Domarch's best friend, I just know it! Was I just born? Happy birthday me! One last question before we complete the process, do I go with or without rear legs?”

“With, afterwards you’ll be just fine the way you are.” I stated immediately. “I’m calling you ‘Dor’ or ‘March’ as a nickname.”

“That has got to be one of the weirdest Dalmatians I’ve ever seen.” Dolly low balled her voice so as to not be heard by those who couldn’t hear outside of certain ranges. She wasn’t wrong Dormarch looked like the creature I had named him after, but also very much a Dalmatian other than the black fish tails covered in white spots.

“Okay, rear legs it is, would have been hard to get around with just three tails…” Dormarch looked about and swirled around chasing his own tails in front of me on the device, I looked up at the bigger screen. He eventually stopped revealing he had grown two hind legs. “I’m your Personal Exploration Terminal, need help, I’ll try to think of something if you ever need advice!”

“It seems you’ve had a curious effect here.” Shere Kahn stated with a slightly surprised tone. “I don’t think anyone could replicate it… pity...”

“Hey everyone, I’m the first of my kind, and hopefully not the last!" Dor was going to be a headache to deal with, I can already tell as he waved to the audience that seemed fairly excited. "Oh do I live in a dog house Pom?”

“Geeze this thing has more energy than I do.” You can’t fault him for that Dolly, he was just born and I’m surprised you didn’t feel him in the familiar bond.

Maybe you were the lucky one Dolly, at least you couldn’t feel him bouncing off the walls after spontaneously coming into existence from a formless blob.

“No you can have a regular house, a boat, maybe an airship, whatever you feel like going with Dor. The skies the limits.” I think he chose an airship shaped house like what you’d see from Equestria based on what I said.

Yep the magic of Equus was infectious. That was, of course, an exceedingly bad thing to find out.

“I like the sound of that phrase!” Dor stated cheerfully, the large screen went black as it stopped projecting him.

“Yes, amusing. You may go Ms. Lambchop.” Shere stated flatly with his arms crossed. “I hope you all enjoyed this demonstration, PET’s will be available several months to a year from now once manufacturing processes are perfected. Any questions? Afterwards I will inform Ms. Lambchop on how to take care of her PET.”

“Funny… I thought I could practically take care of myself… oh look, I have minesweeper!” An explosion noise came from the PET a second later and I looked down at it to see a groaning Dor that looked badly burnt. “Ehnn-… was I coded to feel pain?”

I giggled a bit and Dor smiled up at me while wagging his three fish tails.

“Yay, I did something right… or did I?” I tilted my head at Dor and glanced at Dolly who looked at the device curiously.

“Ma’am my name is Bagheera, follow me to the waiting area while Mr. Kahn finishes wrapping up.” The panther motioned for me to follow him.

What did this Shere Kahn really want?

Author's Note:

Dor is not going to be a constantly used character, more used as needed.

Note to self: Go back over page and make sure things are right.

Comments

[Herald of Opera]

Okay, what the heck is Mega Man Battle Network doing in here before I've actually commented? (My username is based on an OC I created)

Also, because this is an alternate-universe counterpart I'll allow you to fix the frankly atrocious canon translation of the acronym.

[Shadowshame]

“Who’s a good dog, you’re a good dog, yes you are!” The creature I was hugging was this strange blue furred lithe male monster dog thing that was said to have hatched from an egg and had an unusually large fascination with bladed weapons. Fred informed me, from what he read of this world, they learned to throw shuriken at five minutes old. Usually said shuriken is crudely constructed out of chewed bone of the local fauna. To think their puppies were just that adorably lethal. “Do you think Pom would appreciate having one of these as a friend?”

I get the strange feeling that she was in the monster hunter universe

[Darkonshadows]

10921572

No battle network action or Megaman will be taking place, it's only a PET in name.

Both Talespin and Ducktales are actually completely capable of making such devices, the Talespin side of things will make much more sense later.

Even the original Ducktales did it with the episode 'Scrooge's Last Adventure'.

The Disney Afternoon cartoons have a lot of things like this. Like a 'Robocat' for instance, which is not going to be in this story mind you, that can be built out of a toaster with a personality based entirely off whatever video game that is summarily plugged into said toaster somehow giving it a fully functional AI.

[Herald of Opera]

10922174
...In my defense, Palamutes throw kunai.