Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows

89. Dog gone it!

-Earth, Camden Town, 101 Dalmatian Street, Morning, Dolly Dalmatian-

I yawned and stretched out my paws, only to realize there wasn’t the fluff of a wooly alien under me and blinking the sleep out of my eyes. I realized I was hanging from the ceiling by my back legs.

“Wha… ahhh… what the dog is going on?!” I looked at my back legs, they looked to be tied up by our spare leashes that were taped to the ceiling. I went to claw at the leashes to free myself only to see my claws had been manicured and painted dark purple, it was a good color for my claws at least. “Dylan!”

“Huh, oh your finally awake, hold on let me get you some breakfast. Can someone get the ladder out so we can feed Dolly?” Dylan saw some of the Puppy Pack, which likely were done with eating, break off and went to fetch a ladder.

“Why am I tied to the ceiling like this and… why does my mouth feel all funny?” Trying to get my head in the game by waking up in this position, I was going to complain about how I really felt about this. “Also this is… actually somewhat comfortable.”

Not exactly where I thought I would go with that, but this isn’t chafing and quite a relaxing position to be in. I still wanted down though.

“Good, because we’re leaving you up there bark breath.” That Dylan could say that with a straight face. “Pom can make a really good sheepshank knot.”

“What?!” My outrage was met with a calm look.

“I’m surprised Pom took your comfort in mind when she did all that stuff to you.” What was Dylan talking about?

“What did Pom do?” Aside from turn my entire family on me.

“She bathed you, brushed you, dried you off, she cleaned your teeth and also trimmed your nails. None of us had to tell her you weren’t the girly girl type. I told her Pink would make you more upset, but then I thought better of it as you would have thought that Triple D had something to do with this.” That didn’t make me think otherwise Dylan, I mean how often do you see dark purple nail polish that’s safe for dogs around here? Pom had to of at least asked our little triplet diva sisters for it. “Pom made profile of you and it is scary how much she managed to get right about you when she came to me with what she think she knows about you Dolly.”

“So… what…. this is something she did in effort to make me hate her?” I didn’t like baths, getting my nails done and I was ‘somewhat’ sporadic about cleaning my teeth. “How did she manage to do all of that to me without me waking up?!”

“For the most part, yes. I’m surprised you even slept through it all being a light sleeper like you are, but Pom was exceedingly gentle with you. The tying you to the ceiling thing and leaving you incapable of being able to do anything other than hang there is going to be the worst part of all this for you today.” Wait, Dylan wasn’t going to get me down from here?! “Also mom, dad and Pom already left for work, everyone has unanimously agreed to leave you up there so your entire day will be absolutely ruined. Which reminds me of the time I warned you against climbing up the crane.”

“You’re kidding me right, please tell me you’re kidding?” I can still feel the direction Pom was in, she didn’t seem to be feeling much of anything at the moment aside from smug. Why was she feeling…?

Oh… she absolutely knows that I just woke up and was annoyed by all this!

“Don’t worry, we’re not cruel, we’re going to have puppies coming here to talk to you to keep you entertained. Today is going to officially be ask Dolly questions day!” Was Dylan actually serious about this? “It doesn’t matter whether it’s about the magical bond you have with Pom or if it’s just random stuff in general. Dawkins wants to go first and the rest of the puppies that are interested drew lots.”

“What about needing to go to the bathroom?” I watched as Dylan pushed out a large plastic bin and position it beneath me. “You can’t be serious.”

“We said we, as a family, weren’t letting you go without a fight and Pom asked nicely for the stuff she used to put you up there. Mom and Dad will let you down this evening, they want to ask you some questions too.” What no questions from you Dylan? He sat up and I saw the star pendant on his collar seem to shine as he sighed. “Judging by your look, no, I don’t have any other questions aside from one. Why? Why are you even entertaining the idea of leaving? You don’t have to answer now, but I still want to know why our bond with you isn’t as strong as yours bond with Pom apparently is. Besides I find this to be pretty funny and I don’t want Pom’s efforts in getting you up there to go to waste.”

That’s the loaded question isn’t it?

“Dylan, my bond to you and the ‘fam’ is stronger bro, but I still feel like I need to do this and… it looks like I’m going to be a doing a lot of something I don’t like today… thinking.” I looked in the direction of where Hunter’s tower building was, already knowing that Pom was there protecting him. “Although I admit that I’m a little angry that she did this, a part of me appreciates that she didn’t have the nerve to seriously do anything big to me. She’s almost like Hugo to my Clarissa.”

“Hugo is more of a one-way street with Clarissa, the bond you have with Pom should be a two-way thing from what Pom knows and she really wasn’t skimping on the details.” Flinching when Dylan said ‘home’, he gave me a worried look. “Diesel has confirmed a lot of things about Pom, which is pretty incredible. At least Pom hasn’t caused any disease outbreaks or sicknesses and has been a great guest aside from this accidental bond thing she has going with you. For what it’s worth, if you can answer my question at the end of the day honestly… I’ll accept it. I think you’re going to be challenged by Pom to prove this stubbornness of yours. She seriously doesn’t want to hurt any of us emotionally or physically unless she has to, she really doesn’t want you to be hurt by following her around, please don’t do something to force her into that position Dolly.”

“I get it…” I muttered as he walked away. I mean at best this wasn’t anger inducing, more annoying than anything. I’ll have lost a day of fun and skateboarding... or actively participating in the family activities we usually get up to. “This sucks… I wanted to chase the mailman today too before spending more time with Pom…”

I know for a fact that Pom doesn’t have it in her to actually hurt any innocent dog without prompting… but what Dylan said about testing my resolve had me somewhat worried. We haven’t even known Pom for a week, but this bond is letting me know what she is really like and she’s… just plain nice. Maybe a bit of a doormat, except on this one thing in particular at the moment.

“Hey Dolly, talked Dylan into letting me do this.” My attention was attracted to Roxy the Rottweiler as a ladder was lifted into position and she climbed up to hold up the bowl of kibble for me to eat in this position. I dug in, today was going to be a thing for me. “I don’t know honestly if this is for your own good or not, but I’m trusting Dylan on this one. So please don’t try to make me help you.”

Roxy was my big bodied friend with a gentle heart. She looked scary, but she couldn’t actually be threatening unless someone actively tries to actively hurt someone she cares about. She more likely to cry than to attack anyone, I believed that we’re always going to be BFFs regardless of whatever happens.

“I won’t… my day is going to be so boring, unless I have someone to talk to.” Well here it comes, the conversation parade. May as well get started with my best friend, next to the canal crew of Fergus the fox, Sid the squirrel and Big Fee the rat. “Let’s get this started.”

I started eating as Roxy sighed and sat there looking contemplative.

“So, an alien as a guest in the house? That must be so cool… you know, after the whole alien parade float incident with Dylan.” Roxy was talking about the incident where Dylan needed his ego put in check by me and Dawkins by faking aliens invading our home, good prank and Dylan admitted he deserved it somewhat. We didn’t stop the prank in time to save that flying saucer parade float we wrecked. “We didn’t have facts that there was life beyond our world before that. Though there have been talk of Moonlanders coming to Earth, I don’t know how real that is.”

“Yeah, it’s really cool, but right now… it’s kind of a pain in my backside.” I continued to eat my kibbled as Roxy gave me a sad look.

“Dylan said you wanted to leave with her, that you formed some kind of ‘symbiotic’ bond that she didn’t ask for and wants you to break.” Yes, Roxy, get to the point. “So what’s she like and what was it like when the bond formed?”

“Uh… what?” Was I really confused that she was more curious than upset with me, I mean Dylan must have told her I was likely to leave when Pom did. “I’m the one that started the bond and… it’s an experience. Pom’s nice and friendly, that’s her name, she has this strange magical presence to dogs and she’s far from being a total pushover from what Dante and Da Vinci say. She’s kind of like you are in so many ways.”

“That’s about all I really wanted to know, might even get time away from my bipeds to meet her personally.” She waited for me to finish the bowl of kibble and then gave me a sad teary eyed look. “I’ll miss you ‘if’ you leave Dolly.”

“I’ll miss you too Rox, I’ll be missing my whole family every single day on top of that…” My friend quietly climbed down the ladder and went to go get the next dog.

There’s Dylan’s brother and the family’s favorite engineer Dawkins, he never really calls my dad by anything other than Doug and I don’t think he appreciates dad as much as the rest of the family. He still loves and cares about all of us all the same, even if some of his inventions are dangerous.

“Hello Dolly.” He addressed me coolly.

“Hey Dawkins… how have you been feeling about, you know, since Pom came into the picture?” Just had to bring up Dawkin’s favorite toy, it was destroyed by Cruella to test her skinning machine. Better that than it being tested on any of the ‘fam’.

“Yes, but at least Pom’s enlightening presence and Deepak have both helped me with my suffering… Princess Positron is still very much irreplaceable to me.” He sat down on the ladder and looked to me, he seemed to be reliving the memories of his favorite toy. “So, is your blood currently rushing to your head?”

“No… surprisingly this is kind of comfortable and at least we’re finally using the leashes we have laying around for something.” Even if that something is keeping me from rushing out the door to go follow Pom around, which I wasn’t going to do, I did have some self-control… at least I think I did. “Not going to lie, what scientific dork speak gobbledygook are you going to use to try and win me over?”

“That’s just it, I’m not here to convince you to stay or go.” Blinking, I tilted my head at Dawkins. “I’m more curious about the logistics of this bond, we already have solid facts that aliens exist and so does magic. You know I’m a dog of science Dolly, I want the… oh how do you say it again? I want the ‘deets’ on this bond.”

“Well I can feel the general direction Pom is in, I know her emotional state and… her intentions are to break this bond between us to the best of her ability, otherwise she is honestly nice and likes us in general. This kind of thing was what she was so nervous about happening. She wasn’t the one to cause this, that’s on me.” Not going to lie, the bond didn’t seem that bad or invasive. “Still don’t know what the two-way street thing is doing, it just feels really weird that I’m getting something from her and she gets something from me. What can I possibly be giving her that equals to what she’s giving me?”

“Pom said familiars are usually between an animal and a vaguely higher intelligence, how does it feel to be considered the animal in the bond?” Dawkins really wasn’t going to tell me to stay or go.

“Honestly, that appears insulting at first, but from my side of things… it’s anything but insulting and it’s like meeting someone halfway on something even if neither of you are always in agreement.” Like right now, I didn’t agree with Pom wanting to break this bond or her methods of ruining an entire day for me. Also this whole making me clean thing and then tying me to the ceiling using leashes and duct tape was annoying. At least the duct tape hadn’t been directly applied to my fur. “We’re partners whether she wants it or not and… I think she needs it, this bond.”

“Do you think magic can be measured?” Dawkins asked while his tail was wagging.

“I wouldn’t know as I don’t think I’m any more about magic than I did before. We won’t know what I’m capable of until I figure out how I used magic in the first place to clamp onto Pom like I did. Just so we’re clear, I’m the one that must have used some form of magic.” Nodding to me Dawkins left with an enthusiastic and the next dog came in, it was Da Vinci the painter pup.

“Hey Dolly, I came here to get some perspective from you.” Tilting my head at Da Vinci, I motioned at her with a paw to continue. “Well it’s just occurred to me that dogs, average dogs at least, and shouldn’t be able see as many colors as our family and the surrounding dogs do. There are some colors dogs weren’t meant to see, so why is it I can paint in all colors to such a degree I feel and see them all quite clearly? Also… do you think my talent… stems from magic?”

“I think we’ve always had something like magic long before Pom ever showed up. We’re the second one oh one to happen after all… so there must be something to us Dalmatians that makes the world all that much brighter.” I smiled at Da Vinci as she sent me a weak smile back and thought of something nice to say. “I wouldn’t say your talent is because of magic though, that’s all your hard work and effort Da Vinci.”

“Thank you Dolly…” She said quietly before wandering off, next up was… huh the Dimi-three?

“We just wanted to say…” Dimtri One started.

“That we love you Dolly…” Dimtri Two continued.

“And we’ll miss you like everyone else will.” Dimitri Three finished.

“Yeah, you really let us get away with so much stuff!” Dimitri One.

“I knew it!” Dylan shouted from the next room over.

“Gee… thanks guys.” I muttered flatly as I stared the sheepish male triplets of our family down, I eventually smiled and shook my head. “You guys will always be my awesome little brothers.”

They giggled as they ran off, what came next was a little harder to not pay attention to.

It was Dorothy, the family’s baby pup was yipping at me and whining a little bit. She didn’t climb the ladder and it probably wasn’t safe for her to do so anyway.

“It’s okay Dorothy, I’m not going to leave without saying goodbye unless something seriously bad happens.” That almost seemed to satisfy her. “Look, I promise that if I for some reason can’t say goodbye, then I’ll just figure out a way to say hello to you again!”

Dorothy yipped twice happily and toddled off to play with a ball, she was such a precious little puppy.

I wondered what Pom was doing? She seemed stressed now that I was paying attention to her again, but what could be so stressful about sitting around an office watching a genius kid do 'good work' with a company that evil witch started.

-Top floor office of the tallest building in Camden, Pom-

There were just knives impaled all over the room’s walls and ceiling, the scariest thing about this was that I didn’t know where this Gabby Mcstabberson had been keeping them all.

There were more knives in this room than she could be physically capable of actually carrying by weight and mass alone, she didn’t even seem to have any magical abilities whatsoever to even account for that!

“So that’s the story of my dark and troubled past so far.” I hadn’t really been paying attention to her backstory, she just kept going on and on once I had her pinned.

Apparently being a mercenary blade master for hire that was raised by friendly blade happy monks was a thing. She was amiable enough at least after I had proved that, no… she definitely couldn’t take the animalistic in the room.

“Fascinating, but can we move this along to who ordered you to attack me?” Hunter was completely fine, if a little shaken by being attack by a biped falcon in an orange and black jumpsuit with what looked like an endless supply and variety of deathly sharp implements until I had finally pinned her down. Hunter was keeping his priorities straight, because he kept working through all of this in spite of the attack going on. I didn’t let a single blade touch him and I wasn’t harmed in the course of turning the entire room into the world’s largest pincushion. “Please tell me that this has nothing to do with my aunt… if you tell me who it is, then we’ll let you leave the establishment and we won’t hand you over to local police.”

“Cruella? Well she did hire me to eventually kill you on the basis of certain things happening, but the check bounced. So I didn’t try and no it wasn’t her… she honestly thought you wouldn’t survive the cargo container.” So why were you here if you weren’t being paid by Hunter’s aunt Ms. Mcstabberson? Wait… “I was hired by Gary Sheldgoose of the Sheldgoose clan to attack you. At least I lost to an unknown and not Webby again… for the seventh time. I really want to stop running into the McDucks.”

“Ugh, Sheldgoose, really don’t like that guy… wait, did you just say that my Great Aunt Cruella knew I was stuck in that cargo container the entire time and was expecting me to…?!” Now Hunter was quite mad. “Delilah and Doug really should have let her grind in that machine instead of saving her… look if I tell Pom to let you go, will you collect your ‘stuff’ and leave quietly?”

“Yes, I’ve been paid, thankfully upfront mind you, to attack you.” Gabby wasn’t a very lucky person from the sounds of it. “There’s a difference in the wording and I’ll try to swing this as a victory even if I never touched my target, because I did technically attack you and killing you wasn’t actually part of the wording of the contract.”

After a moment of staring the tall, lethal and violent falcon in the eyes for a few seconds Hunter looked to me.

“Let her go.” At Hunter’s word, I did as asked and Gabby just started to stow things away in a feather tight jumpsuit that couldn’t possibly hold all the weapons she was stuffing into it. “Well, at least nobody got hurt too badly…”

Then a crash and a body flew through the window and before I knew it, I had another problem to deal with.

“It is I, Negaduck, and I have come here to take over this corporation to prove myself the greater evil by killing the nephew of my old business partner that helped me get into show business!” He pulled a chord and his chainsaw revved up noisily.

Gabby just kept collecting her weapons and gave me a pitying look.

“Not before I will!” Another figure bursts right through the wall, it looked like it had the upper body of a duck and a lower body of a kraken. “I, Ursula, the greatest sea witch, will take over this company!”

The nearby floor blasted upwards and a third figure appeared to have rammed the building in a poorly built flying vehicle.

I was beginning to feel like this was probably the busiest day Hunter has had in a long while and that this is was all only happening because I’m here.

Was I the magnet for danger or was this just Hunter’s life in general?

I silently motioned to Hunter over to myself as I stood next to the doors out, he nodded and carefully made his way towards the doors as the third figure started talking. Everyone ignored him as he came to a stop next to me while texting Lena some pictures of our current ‘issues’.

“You two think you’ll be taking this company? Hah, as if, I Don Karnage will simply plunder the company’s assets and use it to fund the plans for the Iron Vulture mark five, as the mark two through four didn’t work out so well for me after my father pass down the first Iron Vulture… that exploded after three days of me being in command of it and the air pirates.” This guy was likely really bad with money, given how his vehicle looked like it was slapped together with gum, duct tape and badly rusted paper clips. “How was I supposed to know that the engine could overheat like that?”

Yet that vehicle still managed to ram itself upwards through the building entirely intact…

“Oh, you think you actually have a claim on this company?” Someone bursts through the doors me and Hunter were slowly backing towards and stalked past us to the other three guys. The new guy was a bulky and well-muscled peacock. “Well I have more of a claim than the rest of you as soon as that kid dies, because nobody steals a company like Gaston!”

I didn’t even think my first day on the job as a bodyguard would be warranted this badly… how had Hunter survived for this long before this?

"I'll turn that child into a rat, then put him in a box and then smash it with a hammer!" An old Abyssinian looking lady came from the vents with a demented grin. "For once I, Yzma, take over Cruella's company..."

Gabby gestured quietly for us to just leave together, I nodded to her and we slowly backed out of the room.

I believed Gabby would rather be our friend than deal with all of that.

Author's Note:

Police Radio: Twenty villain pileup at the Cruella Corp, sending in the swat teams with equipment recently provided by Khan Industries!

Comments

[prism heart]

Really Just how many villains did Cruella piss off.

[Sigmacipher]

10857148
Oh this is nothing, just wait till the author decides to make this Interpol's problem, then things actually get interesting.

[Herald of Opera]

10857148
Considering the implied familial ties to Hell? Every one with a soul, by existing.

[prism heart]

10857401
I can buy that.

[Darkonshadows]

10857148

The answer is 'YES'.