Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows

91. Swamp Romp.

-Equus, Ponyville, Café, Oleander-

“So they may have a method that might get them back, but it requires them being forcefully pulled into Tambelon?” Arizona Arid asked of me as I sat at a table drinking lemonade. “If they can get them to Tambelon, then why not just bring them straight to back here?”

“They are trying to avoid destroying our world via dimensionally destabilizing everything, the dimensional stability is fairly delicate and the method I use to travel doesn’t bother it. I could still find them before they have to end up there, but it’s not likely at this rate.” At the rate I was saving worlds and not finding Pom and the lost, we may have need to use that method. There were very few safe methods of dimensional transportation that wouldn’t tear our world apart at the moment. “At least most of Grogar’s power is sealed away in his bell.”

“He still could have gotten back most of his power since then Ollie.” Fred wasn’t saying we couldn’t take him, also he seriously does not like Grogar. “EVEN IF HE HASN’T, I STILL WOULDN’T WRITE HIM OFF AS WEAK!”

“So what does the method of getting them back exactly entail if it’s safer on the dimensional stability side of things?” Velvet Arid asked as she sipped some hot chocolate from a mug, her ice sprite Tinsel mimicked her actions sipping hot chocolate from a tinier cup.

“The Sieve Precarious still has the signatures of the last few people that it was used on. The effects can be reversed, but the catch is that they will end up where they were supposed to in the first place because of the tampering done to it. They’ve managed to replicate the cultists tampering without messing up the signatures from the previous use. They also have the frequency for Tambelon that the cultists would direly want, given that it was once a part of Equus it won’t cause any dimensional damage to Equus to go to Tambelon and come back from it. It’s basically like what happened to the Crystal Empire when it was dimensionally displaced.” I bit into my daffodil sandwich as my friends sat by quietly as we chewed the information over in our heads. “In essence they are going to try and exhaust all other options to rescue them first before doing this. When it is set up, whenever Pom and the others somehow find their way to traveling between dimensions again…”

“Meep.” Paprika stated with bluntly, halfway between happy and somewhat melancholy.

“Yes, that.” I nodded to Paprika.

“Wait… are you seriously telling me that all of you… CAN UNDERSTAND THAT HORRID ABOMINATION OF A CREATURE?” Fred was looking at Paprika when he said this.

“It’s not ‘that’ hard to understand her Fred, Paprika speaks quite clearly to us… seriously now!” I rolled my eyes.

“Meep.” Paprika nodded and shoveled food into her mouth.

“Oh hey… let’s see… nope, I haven’t thrown a party for you before!” Pinkie Pie said as she walked up to the table with a list in hoof as her and Paprika’s eyes met. “You have been avoiding my parties for way too long… Demon Paca… you’ve been coming to my town, you’ve been hugging everyone around here and you think you can get away with that without a party when Cheese Sandwich and I are both here!”

“Meep.” Paprika responded with a smug grin. “Meep.”

“So you know what this means…” Pinkie said in a dark tone. “It must be done!”

Their eyes narrowed towards each other and I could feel this uneasy sense of existential dread rising as smiles started tugging at both of their lips and started growing.

“Someone just walked over all of our graves… I DIDN’T EVEN KNOW I COULD BE MISSED ENOUGH TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE!” Fred shouted spooking several ponies around us. “Well aside from you of course, my dearly beloved Ollie.”

Paprika and Pinkie suddenly leapt at each other with their hooves wide open and…

-Earth, Haiti, swampy jungle, evening, Shanty-

“Okay, so we are almost ready to corner Mz. Ruby in her temple.” I heard Bentley state as I was in position. “Sly’s in position, Murray’s in position and so is Shanty. The Beast has caused a lot of damage, Ruby expended a lot of magical energy pushing it out of her territory and Carmelita has shown up in Haiti recently. Murray will be piloting the hover boat and working the flamethrower to burn down the zombitorium, Sly is going after the ghost factory and as for you Shanty… you’ll be distracting Ruby to the best of your abilities until we can lead an outright assault of her final holdings in her lair. Remember, you can bug out whenever you want Shanty, but the longer you keep it up the more tired Mz. Ruby will be when Murray and Sly converge on her for the take down. Need any advice?”

“Yeah, what if The Beast shows up?” I asked looking about with the binoculars.

“We’ll cross that bridge ‘if’ it comes back after the beating Mz. Ruby and The Beast gave to each other.” It was nice to know that Bentley would always be honest. “We may be honorable thieves, but we’re not above kicking Mz. Ruby while she’s almost down.”

“Dodo is ready to defend the van. I’m on secondary lookout, Bentley. We are safe for the time being and we’re closer to Mz. Ruby’s territory than last time… which has shrunk quite a bit and would you look at all that destruction!” Mopsy be pointing out the large sections of the swamp that had been destroyed when The Beast be running rampant around here. “Quick question, is Carmelita likely to be the only other hovercraft out here? Because I think I’ve spotted her and she’s nearing Shanty’s position.”

I turned and saw Carmelita looking about and her hand was gripping her shock pistol as her eyes darted about the swamp, the light her boat gave off was easy enough to spot as she steered it through the muck.

“Let’s hurry this up before Carmelita gets into some serious danger. She’s good against average thugs and mobsters, but I don’t know if she’s vetted for magical threats like we currently are.” Sly was already on the move, it almost always seemed like he was. “Shanty, you might have to change priorities. Can you keep Carmelita and Mz. Ruby apart or at least make sure Carmelita stays safe if they do start fighting one another?”

“I can be trying, but those ghost’s rats are being horrible and I can’t be promising anything!” Nothing will ever be making me like ghost rats, maybe rats in general if they were nice and small enough.

“As long as she’s alive at the end of this night and not permanently injured, she’s our favorite inspector after all and none of us want to see her get hurt.” It wasn’t hard to see Sly was worrying about her. I shook my head at the thoughts about the raccoon thief in love with the fox that chases him around and looked about for some way to draw attention to myself. I could maybe be doing both at once? “They might actually start using lethal ammo against us if she does get hurt like that.”

“That does be sounding bad… I’m moving in, I be having an idea that might help!” I looked about with my binoculars. “Bentley, does Carmelita be knowing I exist as a temporary part of this group yet?”

“No… and I think I’ve cottoned onto why you’re asking. Do it and see how Carmelita responds, but be ready to absolutely book it from her if she gets suspicious.” Bentley be giving me the go ahead, so I’m no longer responsible for what happens now! “Carmelita is fast on that trigger and she can jump onto the roof of at least a two story house in a single bound. Don’t honestly know how she trained to ‘jump good’ so to speak, but I know she learned how to do that to just keep up with Sly. You might need to chain your Goat Fly technique back to back to slip away if she starts running you down.”

I slid down the tree and kicked off to Goat Fly to another tree and then dropped down onto the grassy muck filled land of the jungles swamp.

Stowing away my binoculars, I pulled out a torch and planted the sharp end in the ground slightly. After striking my hooves together several times, I managed to finally spark the torch with the spark hoof camping technique and light it up. It didn’t be hurting my hooves too much to do.

Now all I had to do was attract the attention of some monsters around here, which wasn’t hard as there were already several muck monsters coming at me with their pale yellows eyes and muddy features.

Salt and fire wasn’t going to deal with a muck monster, it was probably better that I didn’t hit it with my Cut-lash attacks and just went at it with pure blunt force.

I moved forward and took the torch in my right hoof as one of the three muck monsters on approach came at me swiftly.

I tossed the torch up, the brainless monsters yellow eyes followed the torch as I charged forward and leapt up to mash its head apart with my skull. Planting my front left hoof after landing in front of it, I launched a roundhouse buck that blasted a mass of water into it that splattered it completely.

My elemental attack not be using my sweat if there’s plenty of water to draw from around me, I be having a slight advantage in the swamp then.

Standing up and catching my twirling and falling torch in my right hoof. I quickly swung it behind me and smashed a ghost rat across the face in a small burst of flames, splattering its quickly dissipating essence across the ground before it could claw me in the back.

“I really be hating whichever voodoo witch it was that be making giant ghost rats an actual thing!” I shouted, not caring if Carmelita heard me. It would probably be better that Carmelita did as zombies, muck monsters and ghost rats were slowly starting to surround me.

The two muck monsters being the closest to me and a large number of ghost rats swarming towards me with hatred in their eyes faster than that.

The zombies weren’t being a big threat and I would splash a circle of salt around me for protection, but the muck monsters would be messing that up and they were as much a priority as the number of ghost rats coming at me.

I raised the torch in my right hoof and prepared to start swinging as the rats swarmed towards me. I struck one under its chin with an upwards swing and crouched down as three passed through each other overhead and with a quick twirl I be smacking them out of existence.

This be about the time the muck monsters were added to the situation. A swipe of ones left claw stretched out and nearly be cutting me across the chest, I hopped back and continued to bat away the many ghost rats trying to rip me to shreds.

A zombie squirrel biped finally reached me and with a quick reach into one of the pouches tied to my waist, I tossed my left hoof forward and sent a mass of salt at them.

Some of it be going into their mouth and they be dissolving into nothing almost immediately. In this time several of the ghost rats be scratching me painfully. I did not be appreciating claw marks on my back, much less the very existence of large ghost rats to begin with.

I swept my torch around and splattered more of the floating ghost rats, then quickly rolled between the two muck monsters as they brought their four claws down on where I was. I was up and smashing away another giant ghost rat, dissolved another mildly annoying zombie and dodge another extended swipe from the muck monsters which were becoming more relentless.

The sound of something ripping through the air could be heard and a blast of energy blew apart the head of one of the muck monsters.

I be seeing that kind of thing before, that be meaning only one thing.

“I don’t know what you are, but you aren’t hurting that kid any longer!” Carmelita blasted the other muck monsters body and the head launched right at me. I swept my torch forward and while I did manage to smash the muck monsters head, the muck put my torch out and that made numerous ghosts rats come right at me without the light to keep them mostly at bay.

“I am being a teenager, not a kid!” At least I think my birthday had passed, how old was I now?

I crouched and flipped backwards over the crowd of ghost rats swarming inwards from all sides. I also avoided a swipe from the muck monster that was missing its head.

I touched down on the ground for a moment and sprung backwards into a wild windmill to grab a branch on a tree and climb up. I quickly started frantically shaking the muck off of my torch.

Seeing that it would be a lost cause to try and relight it, I threw it and speared the headless muck monsters body hard enough that it fell apart.

Carmelita wasn’t idle as she started blasting the ghost rats with her shock pistol, which also seemed to be decent against the muck monsters. It was certainly helpful at dealing with the large spiders and huge mosquitoes that started showing up, some of them started attacking the ghosts or the four muck monsters that just arrived.

What… hm… Caramel’s pistol wasn’t good against was the zombie. No nerve endings to be shocking or paralyzing in a zombie.

While she started fighting the various monsters and was having trouble dealing with the zombies, she only be temporarily knocking those back with powerful kicks. I be busy trying to find the time to light another torch while leaping around the springy tree branches while being chased around by more ghost rats.

Landing on a tree branch with my rear hooves, I crouched and jumped when it sprung upwards and shot over the clearing that the biped fox be fighting in to land in a different tree.

I pulled a torch from my satchel and got it in my left pit as I start striking my right hoof into my left hoof over it, I did not want Ms. Fox to see me using those flashbangs Bentley gave me unless necessary.

She be thinking I’m just a kid, then let her be thinking that a little longer!

A spark finally landed on the torch and it lit up, I quickly took it up in my right hoof and splattered three of the seven ghost rats rapidly approaching me. I looked down to see how Carmelita was doing as I be fending off the four other ghost rats trying to find an opening to strike at me.

She was definitely having problems with the zombies, there were at least five or six of them and her pistol be doing nothing to slow them down.

Splattering one last chasing ghost rat, I lashed my left hoof through a vine to cut it and grabbed the loose end connected to the dilapidated trees above me.

I put my fresh torch in my teeth and then took up a salt pouch in my right hoof. I tugged the vine roughly and then leapt to swing over Carmelita protecting herself, I tipped the pouch over and started pouring salt out as I swung a wide circle over her.

Four zombies immediately went down and a fifth dissolved a second afterwards as it stepped into the salt circle. Whether it be the circle or the salt I be pouring into the air, it be working.

“What the… how did you do that?” Carmelita asked as she was no longer having zombie problems and continued to blast the ghost rats, muck monsters and arriving mosquitoes and dog sized spiders.

“Voodoo zombies are being weak to salt, I be Shanty by the way and they are not my fault. I would sing you a quite a ditty, but things currently aren’t being too pretty!” I smacked away a ghost rat. Even more beyond that were all coming for me. “I be having problems with these ghost rats, I’d rather be dealing with giant bats!”

“I’m Inspector Carmelita Montoya Fox, International Police, can you tell me what’s going on in this jungle…” She blasted apart a giant mosquito that tried to spear her. “Aside from the currently exceedingly obvious I mean?”

“It all be Mz. Ruby’s doing, she is being at this for quite a while. She never be killing anyone… at least not directly as far as I be knowing within a mile. Indirectly though… people do be going missing in the swamps around here from time to time, it seems to be a perfect place for a rougher crime.” I be trying to keep the information I really know back. “I be out here trying to help with these nasty beasts, maybe make some money to have some feasts. It not be going to well, my new friend Ms. Caramel.”

“My name is Carmelita.” She stated briskly as she fired several shots into a crowd of ghost rats and I be batting them away with torches. “Also is that rhyming really necessary?”

“That is being what I am saying, Caramel, you sound like a sweet lady. Which is why I am being here to help you like a sidekick. Also no, I do not need to be rhyming.” I smacked a spider with my torch and scurried away setting several other spiders on fire. They all started spreading out and leaping at the nearby zombies that were staying outside of the quickly weakening salt circle, the short lived blazes quickly took those zombies down. “I just be having some fun… in what is a quickly worsening situation Caramel. I didn’t know Mz. Ruby be having this many monsters, there sure are a lot of them!”

“Why do I suddenly feel like I’m being japed here?” Carmelita grumbled as she continued to fire her pistol at the muck monsters and ghost rats, while kicking away anything that could get over the salt circle. “This is getting a bit crowded, you should get out of here.”

“No, can’t do that Caramel, we need to be taking care of Mz. Ruby like yesterday if she be causing problems this big!” I hopped back as a mosquito rammed the ground spear first, a second later it was blasted away by Carmelita. I quickly surged forward and smacked several ghost rats away from her as her pistol started looking pretty bad. “Is something being wrong with your weapon Caramel?”

“It’s starting to overheat from overuse, not like the swamp and jungle air is helping it any either!” I be keeping the monsters away from Carmelita close up and she be handling the worst ones further off with her pistol. “Ugh… It’s a good thing these shock pistols are made to be ridiculously sturdy!”

“Well if you be having problems, then it be best that we start moving!” I ran forward and slapped away several ghost rats with the torch that had burned down to halfway from hitting so many ghosts away.

“Hey, wait, come back here Shanty!” Carmelita honestly seemed worried about me, she would be nice until she found out I was a temporary Cooper Gang member. She would probably tell me to stop being a criminal afterwards, but that’s kind of hard for a pirate at heart to do. “Ugh… have to deal with these monsters first.”

I would need to light another torch soon, I quickly threw a pouch of salt and my half burned out torch back at Carmelita and leapt up to smack off a muck monsters head with a heavy double hoofed blow.

I bounced off the muck monsters flailing body onto a zombie’s skull, I sent a bit of salt down the zombie’s throat as I leapt off over a crowd of spiders and under several mosquitoes flying into what is becoming a solid mass of chaos.

The violating voodoo and natural nasties really be trying to battle it out to find a balance.

I thankfully landed on the other side of this and started to make my way towards where Mz. Ruby’s lair is said to be. I be having Mz. Ruby’s attention at least, with that many monsters around. Nature be helping me as it is putting it all into giving me a path towards her.

I pulled out the binoculars.

“Bentley, it be getting quite hot out here, please tell me that Sly and Murray are on their way.” I was out of sight of Carmelita, but I knew she would be catching up to me soon enough and I wouldn’t be having much time to talk once I started going after Mz. Ruby directly. “Carmelita is being hard pressed to keep up with all the monsters out here, but I be helping her as much as I could and even gave her a salt pouch along with a slightly used torch.”

“Are you heading in to engage Mz. Ruby, well Murray should be there soon enough with the swamp skiff he’s rented out. The flamethrower we have on it should be a big help with all the natural nasties in the area. Sly is just about finished up with the ghost production facility, and thank goodness for that, I really wouldn’t want to live in a world full of ghost rats.” Right there with you Bentley, he be clearing his throat as I moved through a wooden archway leading into Mz. Ruby’s domain. “Well be very careful within her temple area Shanty, she could have a trap that’s set up for Sly that you might not be able to get out of.”

“I’ll be fine Bentley, even if I don’t think I can be taken her directly.” Pirates can win in a fight against directly applied voodoo, but it required the pirate to keep their wits about them and I be at my wits end after smacking all those ghost rats.

I stowed away the binoculars and heard the sound of running feet and blasting of Caramel’s energy pistol behind me. At least she is trying to make sure I’m safe, but she won’t be liking me very much soon enough when she finds out I be knowing Sly.

Walking along the path I approached the swamp temple, something shifted in a bush to my left and I ducked a claw of muck flying overhead.

Turning, I bucked the body out from under the head of the muck monster. I went up onto my hind legs and smacked the head away into a tree and started to run deeper into the temple area.

“Whaaaa…!” I tripped on something and went sliding down a sudden slope, I found myself flailing through the air until I hit something with a loud splash. “Ow...”

“Well now, look at what we have here.” That voice drew my attention. Upon sitting up on the giant floating lily pad, I saw an alligator on a platform. She had blue hair under a red bandana, a red ruby in her belly, red painted claws on her feet and hands, a pink shirt and some kind of magical amulet around her neck. "You must be The Fool, welcome to my arena. Hope you are ready for a rhythmic stomping from the likes of me... Mz. Ruby!"

Comments

[Herald of Opera]

Well be very careful within her temple area Shanty, she could have a trap that’s set up for Sly that you might not be able to get out of

On the other hoof, she could have a trap that's set up for Sly and fails because of how much smaller you are.

Hope you are ready for a rhythmic stomping from the likes of me... Mz. Ruby!

Well, I was partly right; Shanty's more suited for "rhythmic" than Sly is.

[talontitanbane]

Paprika and Pinkie suddenly leapt at each other with their hooves wide open and…

Oh dear God! That hug is going to be way beyond safe levels. It'll be like a friendship nuke going off!