• Published 29th Aug 2020
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Baa-Ram-Ewe! - Darkonshadows



"Baa-Ram-Ewe!" - The ancient war cry of the lambkin.

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6. Ram-bunctious.

-Equestrian Campsite, Smolder-

When the goat woke up, she thrashed violently and she was really quite strong. Almost strong enough to lift me off the floor, she actually did lift Ocellus off the floor a bit.

Was this actually the same goat that was said to be malnourished, has a head injury and was apparently homeless?

Ocellus and I were too busy with trying to hold her down. Pom, who had her rear legs locked down, started to talk in a gentle voice to try and calm the goat down before she hurt someone. It was possibly Ocellus that would get hurt, because I doubt much around here could seriously injure me and Pom was a trained guard.

Sure Pom might not be the best guard in the world, but she had to have some degree of competence to be an official guard of Huoshan, that and she was strong enough to handle the goats rear legs on her own. Changelings were basically mostly like lesser alicorns and aside from her fuzzy carapace, Ocellus looked fairly small and brittle.

“It’s okay, calm down and breathe. Do what I do, in and out, come on and do it with me now.” Pom started to inhale slowly and exhale just as slowly when the goat finally focused on her. After a moment the lambkin had the goat breathing and relaxing a bit. “Are you okay now? We’re going to let go of you, so please don’t freak out or run away. We have a few things we need to discuss with you, also we have some food and water you can have.”

The goat nodded, Pom nodded to us and we released her. The goat sat there for a moment and rubbed at the bandages on her forehead.

After a moment the goat started to look around in a panic, until Pom held up the teal headband which was quickly snatched out of her hoof.

The goat quickly worked her hair up into a ponytail and tied it off with her headband, she smiled and then turned to us curiously.

“Do you think you can take it from here?” Turtle said with a smile, he was a cool old guy.

“Thank you for your help Turtle, I don’t know how we can ever repay your kindness.” Pom smiled a little.

“Well if you need any more help, I’ll be down The Valley if you need me. I’m always near the lake or the training hill. Make sure she gets some rest and doesn't do anything too strenuous.” Turtle started to walk off and out of our shelter. “If you want, you can come on down and I’ll teach you about how to lend someone medical aid so that this doesn’t happen again.”

“Maybe later.” Ocellus answered. “I like to learn new things.”

Turtle nodded and then ambled off in the direction that Pom came running from at an incredible speed. Ocellus knew what lambkin were like, but she never told me they could run or move so blindingly fast. That Pom collapsed afterwards was a testament to how hard she pushed herself to get here with help. For that alone Pom deserves at least some respect from Ocellus.

So we were stuck in another world and apparently Pom was a veteran in having done this before when she visited a place called Fœnum. Now we were in an unknown world that has yet to be visited by the people of Equus, this wasn’t even the first time the people of our world have visited other odd dimensions and it likely wouldn’t be the last.

Starswirl, Twilight, Stygian and a few other beings have notably traversed personally or transferred others to different dimensions before. Finding the one we were specifically in is like finding the world’s tiniest needle in the world’s biggest haystack.

This might even be a pretty cool adventure, provided that we could return home to our friends and family eventually.

“So… what be happening to my treasure?” The goat suddenly asked.

“Oh, um, are you talking about that magical object the unicorn had? Well it… shattered… and we ended up here in ‘The Valley’ as the locals call it.” Pom frowned in thought. “I’m Pom, that’s Smolder a dragon and that’s Ocellus. Who are you?”

“Well… I be a goat, who arrived by being stowaway on a boat, from the islands and the sea, for there’s never been someone quite like me you see~.” The goat was up and moving as she went outside our small shelter to start looking around. She put her right hoof to her chest as she started singing, she spotted the fruit and immediately made her way over to the pile. “I’m a hungry little goat, who was told as a joke, that I’d never amount to anything other than being a banty, that’s where I come from and I’m never going to be quite easily done in because my name is Shanty~!”

“Like the song?” Pom stated idly.

“Well you wouldn’t be wrong, but let me be telling you that I could be like the shack, not quite big and not so spineless like any pirates that gets tied to a stretch rack~.” Shanty was really quite good with lyrics. “So the treasure I was after has become trash, wished I could have started with that in my stash. You may think me silly, but if I ever get back to that unicorn I think I’m going to do something quite rash~. It’s only time and experience that I lack, so when I get home I’m going to try to become a true pirate and get all those who made me suffer right on back~.”

“You mean you’ll attack?” Ocellus queried.

“No, no, you don’t be understanding me, I just want to be a pirate that’s free. I want treasure and to be renowned, to become one of the greatest pirates who's tales and stories will soak into the very ground, but I can’t do that if I’m not still around~!” Shanty shouted that last part as she stuffed a few plums into her mouth and chewed vigorously before swallowing. “I want to be building a great legend of a goat who sails the seas, going on adventure and cannon shooting sprees. To do that I have to be quite smart, for no pirate worth their salt is an idiot from the start~.”

“Well you’ve certainly got the heart.” I commented dryly, Shanty seemed like a very excitable person.

“That’s why I’ll be doing my part~. You can’t roam to and fro without a crew of people that you personally know, those that will be willing to go wherever I will flow~. Without implicit trust, things will always be a bust, since mutiny will make sour hearts and leave nothing but shipwrecks full of rust~.” Shanty tapped dance as she continued to eat more of the freshly gathered food. “Though I may be colored like a turkey, I’m not nearly that dumb or quirky. I’d rather keep my wits about me when it comes to the dangers that I’ll face, because I want to become a real true pirate with all due haste~!”

“You’re not one already with singing like that?” With a curious tilt of her head, Pom watched as Shanty looked to a tree.

“If you’d think that then you’re quite a nice so and so, but I’m going to have to say quite a loud no~! I want everyone to remember where my hooves have been, or else they might soon be missing something that used to be belonging to them~. I want to walk a path of the ever blowing wind, hopefully I won’t ever walk the plank and have to swim~.” She rolled a fruit from the tip of her left hoof across her back and into her right hoof. She flicked it into her mouth, she turned and leapt onto a tree and started to dash straight up it. I think she just defied gravity with the way she stuck to the tree, with a leap near the top she did a forward somersault and landed on top of it to start looking around. “There’s mighty adventure in my pores that I want to seek, even right now I’m on one even as I speak~. With an ay, an aye and a yahar, you all know that I’m going to be a real pirate that is going quite far~! I always hope to forever stay nearly this canty, because I’m going to try hard to make you all remember the goat whose name is Shanty~!”

Well Shanty was apparently done, I’m okay with being friends with her. She was a bit wild and energetic, but she couldn’t be worse than Scootaloo in her worship of everything Rainbow Dash.

“Did you really need the song?” I asked with a grin.

“Do you think I not be living up to my name?” Shanty said as she slid down the side of the tree and hopped off near the bottom. “I want songs to be sung about my deeds beyond the day that I perish!”

“Hopefully you won’t do that anytime soon, you have a whole life ahead of you Shanty.” Pom looked visibly worried for the goat. I would be worried to, she did just recover from a head injury. “How’s your head feeling?”

“It being… augh…!” Shanty rubbed at her head and Pom was right there in an instant carefully holding her in a hug. Shanty froze up and seemed quite tense when Pom hugged her. It took a minute, but shanty eventually relaxed into the hug. “You be giving very nice hugs Pom.”

“Can we get back to the fact that we’re currently trapped in another world with no way back home?” That was Ocellus trying to bring us back on task. “We don’t know if help is coming or even if it ‘can’ come. If we’re going to be stuck here, then do we just spend the rest of our lives in one place?”

“Oh we’ll definitely try to find a way home, but we might want to scout out our surroundings before attempting anything. I saw a bit of fighting on my way to meeting Turtle, we should try to stay well out of the way of that as much as possible while we’re here.” Pom looked at the river looking up towards the mountains and then down it into the lower valley. “There’s just something mystical about this world. Where there’s magic… there’s always a way to do something, like finding a path home.”

“That’s true I guess.” Ocellus actually agreed with Pom without being a little bitter. It wasn’t exactly the kind of high end portal making stuff, but Ocellus had magic and was good at what she knew how to do.

I knew she’d start coming around eventually, Pom is not her enemy and could be really good friends. They even have a few things in common, Ocellus just has to get over her dislike of lambkin in general first.

“None of you mind me wanting to be a pirate?” Shifting a bit and pulling herself free from Pom’s grasp, Shanty went to grab more food.

“While I am a Huoshan Guard and probably shouldn’t associate with them, I personally know a few sky pirates and I would like to say we were okay friends.” After saying that, Pom had Shanty’s entire attention focused on her. “You probably haven’t heard of them though.”

“Now you be having my interest. Not being a guard of a volcano of course, not to be saying that is nothing of interest, but the being friends with real airship owning pirates is much more attention grabbing.” Shanty was now laying on her belly in front of Pom with her hooves under her chin and her rear legs kicking as she chewed on a wild carrot. “Tell me the name of their ship and I might be having heard of their tales back home.”

“Well… they aren’t exactly renowned, I mean their captain has got to be one of the unluckiest beings alive in existence.” As soon as Pom said that, Shanty’s eye lit up with delight.

“You be talking about The Ardent Survivor and the medically capable crew of Captain Blackcap!” Shanty startled Pom slightly and she had a starry look in her bar shaped pupils. “They be some of the greatest pirates to continue surviving such a horrible blackcap curse. A curse that is said to have destroyed more than a hundred ships by proximity alone… except for theirs. Many are believing it be in the name of the ship, they are like a mirror to Captain Jacqueline Sparrow and The Lucky Charm. I kind of wish I be having a curse like that, then I would always know who is being a true friend of mine.”

“Most of that is correct, I’ve seen the curse in action personally… I really didn’t want to be within twenty feet of that walking disaster zone.” Pom hugged herself and shivered. “So- thirsty?”

“If I am wanting to be a pirate like that, then survival is a must and I be here with new friends that will see to that.” Shanty closed her eyes and nodded. “Yes, I be drinking my fill if you are offering and I am never one to be turning down free meals. I hope our adventures together will be as grand and lofty as those pirates you know!”

Pom would soon be boiling some water in a bowl shaped rock I helped carve personally. We’d all get our share and then we’d… talk about stuff I guess.

We really didn’t know what we would be doing here otherwise, but I believed in Pom when she said we’d eventually find a way home at least. She got back to Equestria after visiting Fœnum, so it wasn’t impossible.

-The Valley, training ground, Skunk-

“Whoa, so we have visitors from outside The Valley, that’s so cool!” I was excited at Master Turtle’s news. We apparently had four visitors camping near the edge of our territory, which was also near the edge of Dragon’s territory. I wondered if they would be okay out there by themselves. “Can I go visit them?”

I am Skunk, one of the protectors of The Valley. So when I hear that there are visitors that aren’t from Dragon’s ninja monkey army, why wouldn't I want to meet them?

Whenever I ask about where all the other people that use to live here might be, I don’t get much of an answer. Fox gets really quiet whenever someone talks about that stuff. She always looking out for me and was always so strong.

I really looked up to Fox as my big sister, only… she seemed a little off after seeing one of the visitors we’ve already met. She looked somewhat excited to talk with them at least from what I remember of that short interaction. I was excited too.

I mean, I heard a lot about the things going on outside The Valley from various birds and the like, but I’ve never actually seen anyone from beyond it that doesn’t normally live here. I’ve been here all my life, so this was something new to me.

Master Panda knew I was excited and would likely go even without his permission.

“Now Skunk, please be patient and do not go running off. You have training to do.” Panda said as I looked up to him, he was like a father to me and was always so wise. His training taught me how to do a lot of cool and weird things that I would have never thought of as even being possible. “Now show me fifty repetitions of flying crane kicks.”

I was sometimes a bad student, but I always came through for everyone eventually. I started doing the exercise he told me to.

Thinking of training exercises, I should really train my cheeky monkey technique more. I mean, I’ve only ever really used it once and I don’t think I have ever really used that technique to its full potential.

“Then can I go see the visitors?” I said as I jumped and launched a flurry of kicks in the air, before landing and finding my balance.

“Only if you take someone with you, I do not want you going to meet them alone Skunk.” Panda didn’t say no to me outright, so I continued to do my crane kicks without complaint. He was fairly lenient with me despite all the trouble I tend to cause. “Turtle says they are of peaceful intentions, but even the most peaceful of things can still be dangerous when pushed around too much.”

“I understand Master Panda.” I really did, getting my large red nose beaten blue one too many times has taught me a lesson about being careful. The fact that ninja monkeys have more than five tricks for turning invisible was annoying, but we’ve managed to counter most of them so far.

Once I was done practicing my flying crane kicks, I would go find Fox and Rabbit. Sure, Rabbit was a bit of a jerk, but we were still good friends.

-Approximately thirty minutes later-

“Hey Fox! Panda said I could go see the visitors, but I have to have someone with me. Want to go get Rabbit and meet them?” My words seemed to make Fox happy, she put away her battle fan and started to dust herself off.

“Of course Skunk, but do we really need to take Rabbit with us?” Groaned out Fox as she ran a paw over her right ear and through her bright red fur.

Sometimes I wondered what was going on between Fox and Rabbit. Rabbit and Fox liked each other, but they always seemed to dance around the issue. Rabbit claims Fox is too girly, but he has a big crush on her and I think she likes him too.

“Come on Fox, I really want to talk to the visitors. I've never really met anyone from beyond The Valley before!” Technically Dragon’s territory was still in The Valley, so I wasn’t lying. Not that I ever told anyone that I still visited my monkey friend that was once poorly disguised as a skunk, Kiki wasn’t a bad monkey at all.

I’m not blind nor was I nearly 'that' stupid. I knew that Kiki was a ninja monkey all along and that everyone was right about her being a spy, but that doesn’t mean I can’t have friends outside of my family.

This time we knew for certain these visitors weren't part of Dragon’s army, plus Master Turtle said they were alright if a little unusual. If grandpa says they were okay, then I believed it.

I looked into Fox’s eyes with hope that Rabbit could join us for this. Sure it might be a bad idea to bring Rabbit, but he was still our friend and he always made things fun.

“Oh fine, we’ll bring Rabbit.” Fox put her paws on her hips and sighed loudly. “He better not cause our visitors any trouble no matter what they look like, Turtle did say they were all a little strange.”

-Equestrian Campsite, Pom-

“So how did you do that climbing thing?” I really don’t think Shanty was a fluffmancer, so the way she climbed and slid down the tree was unusual in how she seemingly stuck to it.

“It be my special magic, I can be climbing any surface with it.” Shanty wasn’t shy, she was quite exuberant and so full of life. “I be calling it Goat Climb.”

“You can’t do that for long can you?” There was a long pause after I asked my question.

“It be taking a lot of energy.” Shanty finally answered, she ate a piece of fruit.

“Well she’s not a fluffmancer, I know that much.” Stated Smolder as she kept the campfire going.

“I really don’t like sitting here and doing nothing with our time.” Not having any books or much else to do would bore one to tears Ocellus, I’d have known that feeling more if it weren’t for my beasties.

“I be agreeing with that, we be needing something to do.” It looked like Shanty was about ready to run off and get lost.

“How about we make a pizza?” They all looked at me like I was crazy. “The only reason why it’s possible is because Smolder is here. It’s something I’ve done in Huoshan with various longma from my canine division and it’s a fairly good way to make some friends.”

“Well…” Smolder started to say before she was cut off.

That skunk I saw earlier came running up to camp, thus spooking me slightly into letting out a squeak and falling onto my side. The skunk was slowly followed by the red fox just shaking her head while eyeing me oddly and the grey rabbit.

If I didn’t know any better, I’d swear the red fox was experiencing what every Diamond Dog or any somewhat intelligent canid does around me. I wished I wasn’t magnetic to canines, but it’s something that I can't control.

“Whoa, sorry about scaring you… oh hey… er…” The skunk just stared at Smolder, as did the rabbit and the fox.

“What, never seen a dragon before?” Sassed Smolder who was relaxing next to Ocellus of whom she was cuddling.

“I am thinking he not be seeing anything like any of us before.” Shanty stated with a cheerful tone.

The rabbit scowled at Smolder and went to say something, only to be slapped in the face by the fox’s tail. I think she did that on purpose, the rabbit only blinked dazedly and blushed a bit.

“Excuse us for entering your campsite, you must be the visitors to The Valley. I’m Fox, this is Rabbit and Skunk.” Fox continued to eye me strangely, I sighed and knew exactly why she was doing that. “Who are all of you?”

Fox’s tail was definitely wagging and she was just happy to be near me, this is the reason why I won’t go anywhere near where Diamond Dogs live. I was going to be polite, they only seemed interested in meeting us and they weren’t being aggressive so I really didn’t have much to panic about.

“I’m Pom.” I watched as Fox’s ears perk up when I answered her and her tail continued to show excitement.

I sighed audibly as I could already tell this was going to be a thing with Fox as long as we’re here, she was bound to hound me constantly in an obsessively friendly manner. At least I had nothing to worry about from the Fox, I knew when I had just gained a friend for life that would protect me through thick and thin. She thankfully couldn’t become one of my beasties, I already had enough familiars as it is.

If we find a method to leave, we definitely couldn’t take Fox with us. I did feel safer with Fox’s presence though.

“My names Smolder.” Smolder turned to me. “So what was that about needing my help to make a pizza?”

“I be Shanty!” Shanty introduced herself exuberantly. “If we be making tasty food, then I am all for it!”

“Well we can make a pizza with surrounding ingredients, but we won’t have any cheese for it… hmm… I can actually probably make a dessert style pizza.” I gave it some thought. “There’s plenty of fruit around here for it.”

“I’m Ocellus and I guess we don’t have anything better to do.” After blinking once or twice, Ocellus turned her head to give me an odd gaze. “Wait… is sharing pizza a cultural thing you do in Huoshan Pom?”

Author's Note:

Shanty might have a few 'Guacamelee' specific abilities, basically Goat Climb, Goat Fly and Goat Jump.

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