Baa-Ram-Ewe!

by Darkonshadows

88. Released The Beast.

-Equus, Canterlot, Spike-

“Thank you for your report Fizzle.” Twilight knew she only let her friends call her that, Fizzle made her enemies call her Tempest and only an idiot she didn’t like would call her The Storm Queen to her face. She’s still the same pony that befriended Twilight though and we just watched her leave the room in a lazy trot to go back on patrol for any Grogar cultists she might have missed. “So what’s next on the schedule?”

“Uh, aren’t we going to worry about the growing economic crisis first?” I asked and Twilight gentle pulled me into a hug.

“I’m going to eventually eat an entire bucket of rocky road because of that Spike, mostly because my alicorn constitution never allows me to get truly fat.” Yep, Twilight was stressing out again, at least she had better coping mechanisms these days.

We now understood how Celestia could get away with ingesting entire cakes, also why Celestia had a habit of eating entire cakes after Twilight took the job to rule Equestria.

Alicorn stress eating, it was a phenomenal thing to watch.

It was also a bit sad that Celestia had stress eating problems… that or she really just enjoyed cake that much. Maybe it was both because Celestia had to deal with all the nobles like Twilight currently was.

“Okay then… next we have a report form Sunburst and Starlight working on tracking down the lost with several unicorn teams. Ectotron did say he’d be able to detect Equus magical signatures if they appeared in that dimension at the very least.” I watched as Twilight wilted. “Not that it helps unless they appear there.”

“Make that two buckets of rocky road.” Twilight muttered.

“Can I split one with you and add a few sapphires to it?” The response I received was a happy smile. So long as I don’t mention the Changelings or the Lambkin in the same sentence, she’ll be fine.

Don’t honestly know how Jaded La Perm managed to destabilize the whole world’s economy so badly, but we’re working on fixing that issue one day at a time.

Twilight would at least have fun going through the tax codes to make sure that they were entirely disastrous dyscalculia and evil idiot proof.

Not that Jaded was pure evil, but she was quite good at freaking out Saddle Arabia and they believed this to be a plot by her to make them vulnerable to an invasion by chinchillas.

Ah, things haven’t changed one bit, paranoia and chaos spiced our lives like usual. We didn’t even need Discord to do anything to cause it either.

-Earth, Near Haiti, Shanty-

I watched as Murray wrestled with the giant bug, while Bentley examined it up close and personal.

That thing nearly be skewering me with its spear for a mouth.

“Well this confirms one thing, Mz. Ruby has definitely upset the balance of nature when we can find mosquitoes that are bigger than I am!” Bentley be a pretty small biped, but he wasn’t exaggerating about the mosquito. It be big enough to possibly carry Sly around on its back. “What are the chances that nature wants her super dead Shanty?”

“Mosquitoes big enough to be sucking an elephant dry in minutes, much less a voodoo using alligator in far less than that, do I really actually be needing to say more? Hey, where is Mopsy?” Looking around for her, I didn’t see her anywhere.

Murray finally got the mosquito under control and was keeping it pinned until Sly could tie its limbs down or, more importantly, its wings.

“I think she said something about not wanting to fight a giant bug monster.” Murray mumbled as he roughly smacked the giant mosquito in the head hard enough to get it to stop struggling and completely dazed it.

“Sounds fair, but she be missing this nice ocean breeze.” Giant mosquito taken care of, I looked forward to the boat docking at port and the wind swept through my hair as I relaxed in the sun.

-Haiti-

“So you’ll want to avoid going anywhere near that giant skull shaped structure, unnatural things are happening over that way!” Sly nodded to the animalistic seal that had been a crew member of the ship we had arrived on. “Enjoy your stay in Haiti and stay well away from that hellish swamp I told you about, I swear that place has been horrible for tourism over these years and its only gotten worse with those thrice damned mutant bugs!”

“Thanks for the help sir.” Sly was quite polite to the seal. Once we were driving a fair distance away from said seal, he turned to address Bentley. “So… in the direction of the storm clouds?”

“Yep.” Bentley stated while looking over things on his computer.

“Oh, oh, do I get to rent a hover boat or a skiff!” Anyone who’s been around Murray long enough would find that his enthusiasm be quite infectious.

“I have some misgivings about all of this.” Whined Mopsy. “Out of the six of us only three and a half of us are fighters, no offense Murray.”

“Wait, why am I the half?” Murray asked curiously, while poking at the bottom of his lips looking both a bit perplexed and slightly upset.

“Sly is good enough to be fighting big thugs with his cane before I be coming along. I created an effective fighting style and have held my own against even worse than giant mosquitoes. I can be handling danger much better.” I motioned to Sly. The tall bipedal raccoon twirled his cane with a question mark shaped hooked end to it and afterwards tipped his hat at Murray with a sad smile. “Can you be doing more than flailing Murray? You’re also not exactly fast on foot and I can easily dodge almost any problem that be coming my way. No one here be questioning Dodo's capabilities in a fight.”

We heard Dodo’s happy mechanical warbling from the roof of the van, today's disguise theme 'Lucky Clucky Motor Repair Services'.

“Well, that just means I’ll have to work harder to be of use to you guys in the field. I’ve already taken up boxing and I’ve been doing some wrestling.” Murray flexed his muscles, they be a work in progress and as a hippo he was being quite big already. “I even got some practice in against the mosquito we left tied up on that boat, The Murray won’t let this family down and I’ll protect you with everything I have!”

“Uh… someone is going to take care of that thing eventually… right?” Mopsy said looking back towards the boat as we made our way for the hotel. She be sharing a lot in common with Pom, but she doesn’t have the spirit to be putting up nearly as much of a fight. “I mean you guys just kind of left that mega mosquito tied up on the ship.”

“Mz. Ruby is messing up nature around here something fierce…" Bentley grunted. "I think we’ll have our work cut out for us on this escapade.”

-The next day, Haiti, Jungle, edge of Mz. Ruby’s territory-

“Okay, we see some zombies, ghosts and… yikes, those are some huge spiders… not to mention the ghost rats. It also seems like Mz. Ruby is also fond of exploding voodoo chickens.” Bentley be watching from my view among the trees as Sly tested the monsters patrolling the swamp. “Those muck monsters are also something you didn’t know about Shanty.”

Said muck monsters were terrifying, they required Sly to destroy both their body and their heads separately before they would finally stop rising up to go after him.

“Chicken’s must be being very important for Mz. Ruby’s voodoo, she wouldn’t be having nearly that many chickens otherwise… especially all the zombie ones with bombs strapped to them.” At least I didn’t be the only one to think that it was weird.

Speaking of weird, I saw an odd grey feathered looking zombie chicken covered in black spots that seemed to be avoid all the other monsters and was standing well away from the other chickens looking both contemplative and sad.

It seemed to be less dilapidated than the other zombies and it had a shine in its eyes like it still be having a soul, but it is still being stuck here like all the other zombie chickens.

I was about to comment on the oddly wiry looking spotted zombie chicken when I was distracted.

“She seems to have excellent magical defenses already, she's not really big on technology and I’m on the back foot when it comes to knowing about magic. At least you’re out there to watch Sly’s back Shanty.” Now if only Bentley could be finding signs of my friends, but I not be in any hurry. This stuff was being quite fun! “Mz. Ruby is, frankly enough and please excuse my language here, clucking nuts!”

I giggled into my binoculars as I kept an eye on my own surroundings as I watched Sly prod into Ruby’s territory.

“Yeah-- I’m not going anywhere in there from what I’m seeing of Shanty’s view.” Mopsy was in the safe zone with her own personalized binoculars that were simply hot pink, she was acting as Bentley’s eyes from the top of the Cooper Gang van. “Spider’s should not be the size of small bears!”

-Equus, Airship Mauled, The Witch’s Fare, Flamberge-

“Who knew giant orb weavers make for good barbecue?” I bit into a leg and chewed, tasted like a divine rare treat. Eating meat in Equestria tended to earn you fearful looks unless it’s fish, unless you live around here. “Sorry if this somehow turns you off of eating brother.”

“I am Fortitude, the fantastically fragrant!” My brother, the world’s smelliest yak, suddenly yelled out of the blue. As a dragon that will inevitably outlive him, I’ll definitely miss the sound of him screaming that every single day. “Giant spider meat is a favored among griffons, hippogriffs and thestrals, I will never be troubled with you partaking of what is delicious food to you my brother!”

“Order up!” Kuril shouted as she dropped a spider flank steak at a table of thestrals. “Thanks again for taking care of our slight spider problem Flamberge, Fortitude. Though getting rid of all this spider meat might take a while… at least we got a lot of hungry thestrals sniffing about the area, so I think it’ll all even out. I Might even try some of this myself... it just smells so good and it's all coming out just right.”

“Eh, we’re used to handling eldritch abominations at this rate Kuril.” I bit off another chunk of the leg and it was chewy and sweet, the salt just enriched the flavor. “Thankfully these weren’t eldritch and far easier to handle.”

-Earth, Haiti, Jungle, Shanty-

“Is it me or are all the vines and branches on all these trees angling inward towards Mz. Ruby’s lair?” When Sly asked that I looked around and noticed it to.

“Nature be really wanting her gone that badly.” Stating this clearly, I looked around where Sly was testing Mz. Ruby's defenses. “Branches and vines are literally moving into position for you to get closer to her lair.”

The pouches of salt were proving useful against all the zombies at least, not so much against the ghosts. At least Sly’s cane currently had a special coating of stuff specifically meant for dealing with supernatural monstrosities.

It be effective enough against the ghost rats that sent shivers through my spine, I be having several torches to burn in my satchel in case those ghosts be coming near me. Also Bentley be supplying me with things he called flashbangs, it be providing powerful light that’s good against ghosts and enough noise to disorient the giant animals I might run across. I be needing to cover my ears and shutting my eyes if I use one.

“I think I’ve found something, can you move to get a different view on me and what I’m looking at Shanty?” I started moving when Sly asked and managed to spot what he was looking at, it was a huge circular area of swamp that looked to be sealed off. “Have any ideas what’s behind this gate anyone? I mean it doesn’t seem very important to Ruby’s operations.”

“Likely something Mz. Ruby wouldn’t want anyone knowing about. Are you going to bypass that industrial strength voodoo gate to find out?” When Bentley be saying this, I was getting a bad feeling my gut. “Maybe it’s something we need to look into, my paranormal scanners are working and there seems to be a solid mass of activity there that Mz. Ruby isn't causing.”

“Okay, I’m going to get over the gate.” I watched as Sly climbed up and around the gate and into the space with the large walls. “It seems too quiet around here, aside from the giant spiders and mosquitoes, something is definitely up with this place.”

“Sly…” I was on the top of a tree and keeping my binoculars on him as he ran and slid along the tree branches. “There’s something in there with you…. it is being big.”

“Didn’t quite catch it in Shanty’s feed, but she’s right." Bentley sounded worried. "There's something big shifting the reeds in there, be careful Sly.”

Sly used his cane to swing from a tree onto a small island with a collection of tree roots, something was moving behind them.

The tree roots started bulging outwards.

“Run!" I shouted. "Trust me, you don’t want to be looking back right now!”

Sly started sprinting along the gnarled tree branches away from the sight of the tree roots breaking apart behind him.

“What is that thing?! Go Sly, get out of there, run faster!” Mopsy urgency spurred Sly along as a giant red and yellow snake with sharp spines, large teeth, red and pink eyes started chasing after him. It also be spewing clouds of green fog from its mouth as it snapped at the branches at Sly’s heels.

“Huh, I think we found a local legend, it’s called The Beast of Haiti… its breath is said to be as deadly as its bite and being swallowed whole is considered to be immediately lethal.” Just hearing Bentley say that made Sly double his pace. The raccoon was pumping his legs and somehow managing to maintain perfect balance on the branches as the monster continued to snap at him and roar blasts of green gas that Sly was staying ahead of with a terrified look on his face. “All the toxic gas in that things body makes sure any prey it swallows doesn’t struggle much. Also, I’m getting tons of references to a snake god of slow and exceedingly painful brutal deaths here...”

“Can I get an assist here Shanty… please?” What did Sly be expecting me to do against that thing?! The raccoon be moving fast as he barely kept ahead of it. “Anyone?! Any ideas?! Someone think of something or I’m going to be shanked or swallowed to death by this thing!”

“Don’t know what I can be doing against it. If you can’t hurt it, then I definitely won’t be able to!” I still had to try something. I don’t want Sly to be eaten, he’s the nicest thief I’ve ever met! Sly swung around at tree and The Beast be biting the entire thing in half. “I be hearing stories of bigger serpents where I come from.”

“Bigger, than that horrifying thing?! Er… sorry Sly I got nothing, it was nice knowing you buddy.” Yes, Murray, bigger than that terrifying looking demon snake thing. “At least Mz. Ruby doesn’t have control of it, that’s probably what that gate is for… it’s to keep The Beast from killing her!”

“You’d be right Murray… The Beast might not even be native to Haiti, it appeared soon after Mz. Ruby set up here. Yeah, that serpent can’t be too happy with the Mz. Ruby twisting nature like this nor would it be happy about being captured by her.” It sounded like Bentley was thinking of something as I kept my binoculars focused on Sly. “This gives me an idea…”

“An idea for me to get out of here hopefully?” Sly stated as he climbed up a tree and ran along a branch with a blast of green fog being sent his way by the snake.

Seeing that it missed, the snake slithered up the tree. It started to tear the branch off the tree entirely, as it couldn’t reach Sly at the end of it.

“No, an idea of how to use The Beast to get into Mz. Ruby’s lair, that thing might want some revenge against Mz. Ruby at the very least for sealing it in that area.” Hearing the clacking of the keyboard, Bentley was making plans for something. “Shanty, I need you to get to here quickly and use one of those flashbangs I gave you on that serpent. That should disorient The Beast long enough for you to help Sly get back over the wall.”

“You were right Shanty, these keys really are in exceedingly stupid places!” That sounded rather gleeful of Sly, despite him still being chased by that giant snake. “Just got a key to Ruby’s ghost factory, we need to destroy that before we deal with her.”

I looked through the binoculars and saw where Bentley wanted me to go, he even laid out a flight path for me to Goat Fly through. That be quite nice for me, because I think I can be doing that easily enough.

I quickly slid down the tree I was on and looked to one of the trees in the distance inside The Beast’s pen.

Shuddering violently, I squared my shoulders before launching my way over to the tree Bentley wanted me on.

I saw Sly turn towards me and was now leaping across giant lily pads, swinging off tree branches and that ferocious monster was still on him zigzagging and trying to snatch him out of the air.

“I’m still stuck on the fact that Shanty said there were possibly worse serpents than that nightmarish thing back where she came from!” It wasn’t being nearly as bad as it be sounding Mopsy, I never be meeting one personally at least.

As Sly got closer, I pulled out a flashbang and he nodded to me as he ran along a log towards the island below me. Okay pull lever to activate, push it and you had five seconds to lose it once you did.

I waited and then pushed the lever with my right hoof and hurled it with my left before covering my ears and closing my eyes to huddle against the tree.

My eyelids lit up in a painful manner and I wasn’t even facing towards the flash, the noise also be shaking my whole body.

The flashbang wasn’t so bad, it was the sudden roar of pain afterwards from the serpent that sounded nightmarish to be this close to.

Quickly looking around, I moved along the tree to angle myself in the right direction and launched myself away before it be coming after me.

I slammed into the wall surrounding the place The Beast was kept captive, climbed halfway up it and waited.

Sly came to the base of the wall and leapt up with an overhead swing of his cane, I caught the cane’s head in both my hooves and heaved it upwards to launch Sly up and over the wall with a stylish flip. A second later the serpent smashed its nose into the wall and a flare of powerful magic forcefully launched it backwards.

I be climbing up and over the wall to find that Sly was waiting for me on the other side breathing heavily with a wide eyed look in his eyes.

“Thanks Shanty.” He looked at the wall behind him. “Thankfully we’ll never have to deal with that…”

“I need you to figure out a way to open the industrial strength voodoo gate and break the serpent out of there while you’re still there and in the area.” Bentley stated flatly. “We’re going to need it later for a big plan I’ve got cooking in my noggin, come straight back once you do.”

“Can we take a rain check on that Bentley?” Sly said in a horrified tone of voice. “I almost just died here.”

“No can do Sly, you and Shanty are already there.” Is Bentley being serious right now? “So suck it up, open that gate and then get out of the area like you’re lives depends on it, because it probably will if it sees you before you can get far enough away to be out of what I’m going to call the ‘fireworks zone’. Letting The Beast loose will definitely cause havoc with Mz. Ruby’s operations and if she can’t get it back in its pen, then we can use it later to break through Ruby’s defenses even further.”

“Well if you think what we’re about to do will be ultimately worth the hassle Bentley.” Murmured Sly.

“I don’t be liking this plan Sly.” I heard a whining warble and Dodo be landing in front of the gate sending dirt and rocks flying as he did, he be looking around worriedly. Once he saw me, he be coming over to me to start to rub his head against me while warbling happily. “Okay… I just might be liking it a lot! We can be using Dodo to break the gate and get out of here.”

“How fast can Dodo run while carrying us?” Sly suddenly asked as he made his way over to my partner.

“He be faster than both of us combined.” I said flatly.

“In the swamp, including the mud and other issues that a mechanical bird like Dodo might run into.” Sly added. “It’s nice that he came to rescue me at least.”

“He not be as fast in that case, he be easily getting bogged down because of his weight.” I remember Hydrigal and the issues Dodo be having with moving through the Mystic Mire. “That is why I didn’t be wanting to bring him here in the first place, didn’t want him to be getting stuck.”

Dodo warbled and pressed his face against mine again and I finally reached up with a hoof to rub his head, he be smiling happily at that.

“Right, let’s get to it then.” Sly seemed uneasy about Dodo, but his family be murdered by a metal owl made of pure spite and evil. Completely understandable wariness that is being.

Sly pulled out a length of rope and tied it around the gate. Dodo tilted his head curiously as I moved him into position to have the rope tied to him.

We both be climbing aboard Dodo, Sly be taking the seat and I be sitting at the base of Dodo’s neck.

“Dodo do the beak beam thing at the gate!” Dodo nodded and warbled his acknowledgement.

He started blasting the gate with blasts of rippling energy from his beak and it be crumpling in several places.

“That’s good enough Dodo.” Hearing Sly say that, Dodo looked to him. Sly pointed his right hand away from the gate. “Okay, when I give you the signal. I want you to run that way as fast as you can go to get us back to Bentley, Murray and Mopsy, got it?”

Dodo nodded.

“One two three, Go!” Sly hurriedly stated and Dodo pulled the gate right out.

It was seconds later that the maw of The Beast narrowly missed Dodo’s backside as it lunged forward.

Sly quickly cut the rope with his cane before The Beast could pull them into its mouth using it as it swallowed the whole gate.

We, barely, escaped.

Author's Note:

I really don't think 'The Beast' came from the same serpent creators used in Vodou Mythology, that being Damballa and his wife.