Harsh productions
Joined 26th Jul, 2020 ·
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Good other than a few spelling errors.
Sir, I'm gonna need the sauce for that cover image.
This needs an editor. You also forget to capitalize a lot of names and miss some words. The story isn't second person so can you please remove that tag? I'll probably read it later but it does need some work. There are groups for authors looking for editors on fimfiction. There is one trick I know though, read the sentences out loud after writing them to see if they make sense.
I'm not meaning to sound mean, just trying to give constructive criticism. Don't stop writing because that's how you improve but also try to better it. The more you write the more you develop your style to be your own. Hope you don't take this comment the wrong way.
10381642
I’ll come back to this story in a bit to edit it, thanks for the criticism, it’s greatly appreciate.
This was a fun and interesting beginning, I can't wait to see where this goes.
This was a adorably sweet and heart warming ending
10357516
Yeah I’d have to agree with you.
I don’t think I understand what this is saying.
Would there ever be a sequel to this?
Well it does need a bit of pacing before it goes full on sexy time and proofreading, since there's a lot of missed punctuation, spelling and grammar, but other than that it was cute and sexy, keep it up!
10716871
Common criticisms, but thanks for the feedback, I’ve been working on another story, but I’m to wrapped up I real world things and procrastinate a lot. Just generally being lazy, you know, but it’s coming along and have taken the criticisms well and I’m trying to improve and edit this new story as much as possible before I feel confident about publishing it.
Or