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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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So this is gonna be a massive crossover thing, then? Pretty much anyone or anything from any game series, movie franchise, or TV show can pop in?
That's...huh. That's something, alright.
I was actually somewhat expecting a crazy chapter and boy was I correct. It was very interesting to see how to decided to open the rabbit that is the greater omni-verse. Honestly I am super looking forward to book 3. But take your time with the planning since I can hardly imagine the insanity you have loosely planned already with book 3 with all kinds of crossovers universes you will likely introduce.
nick book
That was definitely a satisfying ending.
That was a fulfilling chapter i loved it. I have no problem with your OC he seems well rounded. I do have questions though. Here they are.
First: Will he teach Duskfall, Tom, The Mane 6, and the Royal Sisters how to weild Keyblades of their own for the battles to come?
Second: Will you introduce more Pokemon to Equestria? If so will the Duskfall, Tom, The Mane 6, and Royal Sisters each get their own companion Pokemon?
Third: Will you be introducing more concepts personafied similar to Fate, Death, and Time?
Fourth: Will we see Death, Fate, and Lady Time again in your next book?
Final: If your using the multiverse crossover thing here for our heroes to make new allies and face more foes, Can you please do a Yu-Gi-Oh and Supernatural arc in book 3, Please?
cant wait until the next book is released.
Great job on the story, I can't wait to see the next one when it comes out.
It's certainly going to be interesting seeing how everyone reacts around Duskfall regarding what she tried to do.
Beautiful, I cried when Duskfall was save an when Tom and Two where back. And for book 3 I can make a solicitation/petition? Team Fortress 2. All crososver are better with the mercenaries
I’m not crying, you’re crying!
The image of Dusk or Twilight hugging or cuddling Mew, somehow I could think could be very cute.
Also, while David seems to be the typical Mary Sue / Gary Stu, I wonder how it will look... Waiting for book 3 to see more
Amazing work i cant wait for the next book to begin
A beautiful ending
Also random fact I have heard over my years on the internet. Apparently Incest can be considered “safe” in that their is no major increase in health risks for the first generation but any after is at increased danger.
a fairly interesting custom race, i cooked up something vaguely similar at one point but never did much with it aside from have them get screwed over during a larger event, oddball hybrids are always fun to mess around with, though for some reason i have a habit of really messing with any shapeshifters i create, looking back it seems like something always goes wrong resulting in their numbers getting thinned out or the trait fading
10542216
humans actually have it really bad for this, apparently we have a comparatively recent genetic bottleneck that makes it an even worse idea than it already is for most species
Hey man, is everything alright with you now? Finally get some sleep or peace?
Remember to mark it as complete please
Thank you for the journey, hope to see you again soon!
Yeah, genetic stability took a while to degrade to the "no incest" requirement... somewhere around Abraham was when the "second cousin" rule was handed down. Even then, alternate dimension doppelgangers likely have more variety than if they were garden variety identical siblings.
Granted, it could then be argued that both sex outside of marriage and with same-sex would be sins, but expecting moral perfection in the best of circumstances is an even greater Insanity than Duskfall could comprehend.
10541758
I'm glad you're looking forward to it! Thing are going to get pretty wild, but I hope I keep things reasonable. Book 3 is going to be my greatest test as a writer, I think.
10541801
1.) Everyone will get their own items, probably. Right now there's an argument in my head going "should everyone get the same/similar loadouts" or "should everyone specialize in their own unique thing". If everyone gets a Keyblade, then it both streamlines training and means if someone isn't available for whatever reason, then another can step up to take their place. However, if everyone has the same gear, then it runs the risk of getting somewhat oversaturated. If everyone gets unique gear, then they'll each need their own time to learn how to use it, but it can also mean they can cover for other people's weaknesses.
2.) It isn't outside the realm of possibility that some people get a pokemon partner. However, introducing pokemon to all of Equestria would probably be a bad idea. Invasive species and all that.
3.) I don't currently have a plan to show more of the Concepts on screen in Book 3, but they will be mentioned. Depending on how things play out, the Concepts that created the Elements of Harmony may even show up in person.
4.) Yugioh is a possibility, but I haven't kept up with it since the 5Ds era. I know how the modern format works, vaguely, but I haven't kept up with the anime. I haven't watched Supernatural, but I can try to watch some of it. Might as well use my Netflix for something productive.
10541847
TF2 is an interesting suggestion. I hesitate to bring them in just because they're all kinda murder happy. At the same time having Pyro interact with Duskfall... hmmm. I must think on this more. I'm not promising anything, but I will give it due thought.
10542880
Ty
10542243
Yeah, the reason my shapeshifting specie's numbers are so low is because they were in a war and just after the peace treaty was signed, the enemy dropped a bioweapon on their home planet. They've been struggling to repopulate ever since and it isn't helped any by the fact that
A.) They're bounced around the Multiverse constantly and
B.) The way they breed. Long story short, their offspring is either fully pokemorph or fully a member of the partner's species. So if a Pokemorph and a human had a kid, there's only a 10% chance the kid is going to be a Pokemorph.
10542298
Yeah, I'm finally getting somewhat back on track. Just in time for the holiday craze! I'm going to love and tolerate the shit out of the house with my christmas singing XD
10542851
More or less. Cozy Glow did what she did with full knowledge of what she was doing. That version of Starlight didn't intend for things to get so out of hand. Whether that is more or less damning is up to you.
10542317
The history of what commandments were handed out when is quite interesting.
10542878
Eh, its better you keep to the Battle City/GX era of the duel monsters. Way less complicated without synchro or pendulum summons
10542891
Yeah, I can fully admit I only like syncro summons as much as I do because I loved the 5Ds anime and thought the animation was so cool as a kid.
I honestly didn't expect Duskfall to be able to live on once Twilight and Tom were restored. Feels a little cliché to pull a deus ex machina and bring David in to resolve that, but considering the family's all together now and that this is gonna bring a multiverse of shenanigans into the next story, I'm honestly all for it. I'm fascinated by the world-building this level of crossover will allow, and I couldn't be more excited for the next adventure.
Is it “I” or “we”?
What? I don’t think that’s grammatically correct.
Oh please let Duskfall call Twilight and Tom mom and dad.
“Because you’re hot,” Is what I want her to say.
Heeeeey she said it!!
The only dimensional creature I know of other than my OC’s species is that giant dimensional creature that showed up in motherly Scootaloo.
I’m still waiting for a Harmonia chapter.
10543004
Thank you for the catches as usual. The last sentences is grammatically correct, if a slightly archaic way of saying it.
Absolutely loved this so very much.
10542966
I honestly did. She has lived much longer then the two of them. And has become more then the sum of their parts. I was hoping that whatever split them wouldn't just divide the extra up between the two, and instead leave Dusk fall with her rightfully earnt soul
10543103
I hope you like Book 3 even more
Thanks for this. Well worth the wait and everything.
10543272
I'm glad you enjoyed it
10542878
Thank you for answering my questions. As for the Keyblades question if you decide that not all character get one at least give 3 one to Duskfall, one to Tom and one to Luna.
As for my pokemon question if again you decide not to give everyone their own at least give Tom and Duskfall one.
As for my Yu--Gi-Oh/Supernatural question i've watched up to Zexal and i got to say when i asked about their inclusion in your next book i was only asking for the OG series which started with "Yu-Gi-Oh" and ending at"Yu-Gi-Oh: Dawn of the Duel" with a passing mini arc of "GX" and for the Supernatural series the first season to hopefully nineth season.
Awesome chapter!
Okay I’m going be honest.....Book 1 & 2 are great and think it fulfilled what was intended except for this ending.... and look over the comments after sitting on this for a day I’m really concerned for Book 3. I’m really not sure I’m going like it or even approve the direction it’s heading....
This comment will be the concerns of the future for the story.
Putting it at start but, I am okay with dignity like your OC and the others. But him having to basically babysit the planet seems....stupid really. Like this planet must live on so Plot B can happen in the future.
This is your story so go with how you intended but, I think I’m going read maybe 1/2 the 3rd and drop out if it’s going to turn into what I think your planning. It feels like it’s going into Dragonball Z but with the Displacement of a crossover theme universe which isn’t bad. The problem is that it feels like it’s going to try and go over the top with fighting that at its core I’m not sure it needs.
I read the first 2 books because while it’s fictional with all the magic it’s felt believable and relatable with the characters and how it turned out. Book 1 was adjusting to a new world and trying to find a solution to a problem that ended up killing the 2 main characters at the end before they could complete it. And the sequel was the new character feeling as if they are just a replacement for the sacrifice of her “parents” and tries to correct what she feels is her fault.
Book 3 may continue on with the 3 now acting sorta like a family or trying to come to terms with the each other now, but it’s putting a lot of hinting at a bigger fight that’s over the top and not necessarily needed. I loved how this AU builds on minor characters and solved other issue on previous chapters.
Adding Pokémon, key blades, maybe TF2 pyro, even Yugiyo, or other multiverse just feels like a mess to keep track of. Sprinkle some of it in sure maybe or even giving the Alicorns there own ability is for what they represent but, adding them Kingdom Heart abilitys of a key blade or any other game just sounds.....tedious really.
Like I said it’s your story but, if it’s going into a displacement dragonball story even if it’s giving them some legendary item from another universe theme type just doesn't sit well with me for what the first 2 books are.
I could go on and really I have like twice as much I could say but, it will get confusing I think just typing with out talking out loud why I feel that this ending kinda turns me down from continuing the next story.
Okay I’m going be honest.....Book 1 & 2 are great and think it fulfilled what was intended except for this ending.... and look over the comments after sitting on this for a day I’m really concerned for Book 3. I’m really not sure I’m going like it or even approve the direction it’s heading....
This comment mostly this book it self. Other comment has concerns for the future of book 3.
Maybe it’s just me but still felt like Harmonia should talked 1 last time before Dusk left. Maybe bonus scenes you may show it but, it will feel off not being before this chapter for future readers. Harmonia basically is seeing her friend essentially commit suicide on her self. She doesn’t know if Twilight or Tom will be brought back or if Dusk kills herself trying but fails as the end result. All she knows is Dusk is going to attempt to bring them back while she just sits and watch as she either fails or succeed without knowing what will happens.
Sure Dusk comes back from the dead being killed but, this is trying to talk with a dignity that could for all she knows killed her permanently.
Your OC I don’t have enough to judge him yet but, he does seems OP which is to be expected to an extent. He is not immortal so if he is not carful seems he could die to a fatal wound. It’s also interesting seeing the pokemorphs which could add a lot to the story if it’s not overused or introduced a lot to the world.
Death is treating the as a business meeting really. Just trying to keep the universe running while adding duct tape to keep it together. It’s interesting and does keep in mind while they are very powerful , some stuff can’t be change or fixed.
Even with the Time dignity being an ass will say felt like since everyone seems to know what Dusk was going to do they could have minimized the effect of work she was going to cause them.
At a job if you see an employee that may do something stupid and know they have plans to do the stupid idea. You think you try and prevent a major backlash from happening. Maybe in the background that’s what Death did but, letting a class B turn into an S and throwing no restrictions seems like a bad move. Minimize the stress on your workers not go and let the results happen so they have something to do.
Starlight being a special case I feel like. Since they have several thousands being punished while 1 of them we saw was getting off lighter then most. You can’t babysit them all but, if you got (As far as we can tell) 1 Duskfall case I’m sure they could try and do something at the time she attempted the ritual.
Over all I definitely enjoyed the first half of the ending. Till the implication of what Book 3 is which is a separate comment on of it self. I do hope I’m wrong but will see when it’s released in book 3 “Standing United”.
Reading the comments and response I’m really concerned in the direction so will see how it goes. Take care and best of luck to you
... To keep David from smothering the main caste, you could try having the majority of the troubles he handles be off screen, and have him visit them on down times, which would be few and far between.
10544603
I appreciate your honesty. I know it's a major shake up and it's going to be very divisive. I am going to try and keep fighting to a bare minimum. These are the Ponies, after all. Love and Friendship are key tenants of their overall philosophy. Fighting will be necessary, but only with those that absolutely cannot be talked down or otherwise reasoned with. You might be surprised how many people who might seem otherwise hellbent on death and destruction can be bargained with or made to be friends.
Ultimately the goal isn't more and more over the top fight scenes, but the people of Equuis coming together and making a place for themselves on a stage they weren't ready for, but have no choice but to be a part of now. Kinda like the Civilization games mixed with Mass Effect, if that makes sense. I want this to be a story of the micro and the macro, of Tom, Twilight, and Duskfall as they explore their new relationship dynamics while also seeing how the world around them grows and develops from their choices and the choices of those around them.
Am I being ambitious? Extremely. I know I have a lot of potential to crash and burn. Book 3 is going to test my ability to write to its limit. Maybe it'll be more than I can handle. But I would rather try and tell this story as I have envisioned it and fail than to play it safe with no one knowing what it might have been.
The part I'm most worried about is keeping everything more or less organized. Book 3 is going to function on a scope of a few years, minimum. Right now the rough outline is Book 3 covering about 5 years, but that's subject to change. In my mind, it's like cooking with an egg mixture. Add a little bit of hot water at a time to slowly raise the temperature of the eggs to keep them from coagulating.
10544714
Well I do wish you the best and glad you see why I’m concern and understand it as well. I truly do want it being your vision of a story all I can do is point out any possible concerns.
They have to live with this now so while maybe you have them fight some evil overlord it won’t be the main focus then. And yes I understand some people just take pleasure in the suffering of others or just rather kill all life just because they can.
So curious if you plan to follow the timeline of what the show had with your twist on the take on how they solve the problem. While the more outsider stuff thrown in may turn me away little or I just skim mostly threw them mostly. Family bonding of the sparkles will be the most interesting part I think. Timeframe of 5 years? Is it how long the next book takes place after this end or how long you plan for the story to go on?
Mostly suggestion I guess here for them I rather see this story succeed then be a reason it fails
Sure you got an idea for them getting powers of unlocking their godhood. Honestly I have several suggest but it’s kinda goes against the concerns I said. I’ll just put the 1 for Dusk since it’s kinda the first time seeing her potential. A familiar type/weapon mostly were Dusk true insanity shines threw breaks reality in her potential Area. Say maybe she can control it so her ally’s aren’t to heavily affected or mostly Tom/Twilight have a resistance since being part of Dusk life.
In my option Least be honest the best team up for the Alicorns is the Royal sister team, The Sparkle team, Harm n Discord (not forgetting to mix up but best combo I would think. Cadence be different group combo of those)
10544768
The events of Book 3 will take place over the span of 5 years or so. Book 3 will open a few days after the end of this book.
As for Duskfall getting something that lets her Maximize her power while minimizing her impact on her allies, well, one thing immediately springs to mind: A Reality Marble.
There will still be some instances of what happens in the show, but they will most likely be far and few between. With everyone focused on the new state of affairs, a lot of what happened in the show will be put off or never happen at all. I will say one thing, however. The School of Friendship is still on the horizon, even if the student body is going to be quite a bit more diverse.
I missed read the part of Harmony climbing on Duskfall’s back As Dusk on twilights back making me think of a foal Duskfall
10543417
The people and series showing up aren't nearly going to be so structured as all that. It's mostly going to be an examination of these people, their philosophies, and their technology showing up and interacting with Equuis. I also have to consider if there's a believable way for these people to show up on Equuis in the first place. Things like Yugioh aren't too hard because I can use the Shadow Realm as a point of interconnection. Things like The Land Before Time or even RWBY are a lot harder to justify given there's little to no direct dimensional shenanigans going on in their native storylines.
That isn't to say it's impossible for Ruby Rose to somehow show up on Equuis (Especially given the nature of her Semblance which was just revealed), but it likely wouldn't be a canon version of Ruby. Which is another thing I have to think about, because the infinite multiverse being what it is, there is a version of the Land Before Time story being played out by hyper-advanced techno-organic dinosaurs that would theoretically have the ability to hop through dimensions.
All this is to say, this is complicated and I'm not sure what I'm going to be showing directly, what's going to be explicitly mentioned, and what's just going to be a background detail.
10560922
Cool thats great to know but i never mentioned RWBY in my latest coment i mentioned YU-Gi-Oh and the tv show Supernatural. I've never watched RWBY i only have a vague idea what that is. i think it was someone elses idea. But thank you for telling me anyway
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I know, RWBY was just a readily available example of a setting with high technology that didn't dabble with dimensions.
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Oh ok what are your thoughts of including Supernatural? I can tell you Sam and Dean have dealt with alternate dimesions as well as Heaven and Hell and the brothers have been to both
10561456
Yeah, those two are likely to show up in some capacity. I'm just not sure how much attention they're going to get.
10561765
Ooh i hope they get an arc in the story i'd love to see how the brothers and Castial react to Duskfall when they meet her and see what kind of power she weilds.