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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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i see you too are a man/woman of culture too. fav charicter?(including heartless and the likes)
So you may be bring in kingdom hearts into your story.
Honestly I really enjoy the idea or you doing so. It would be a big leap in character development for Dusk. While also opening up the endless story potential that the Kingdom Hearts multiverse brings into play. I mean that it would allow you to crossover with basically anything and everything if you so desired.
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Asking for a favorite character is so hard. Sora is my precious baby boy, but Roxas is a certified badass. And you can't forget Axel. Gotta have him memorized. I could go on. So... I have no favorite character.
As far as Heartless, I really very much love Shadows. It's my headcanon that they purr when you pet them. I want one as a pet so badly. Even if in game they're annoying little shits who refuse to come out of the floor.
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Make sure your seatbelt is strapped in, your appendages are inside the ride, and you are in the upright position. Staring Book 3, EVERYTHING IS COMING!!!!
Probably going to have Duskfall have her Dive to the Heart on the night before the Winter Solstice.
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i like xion cause she needs a hug and neo shadows cause they look like they would give great hugs
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Xion needs all the hugs. And a lore doctor. As Duskfall's mini rant before Sunset cut her off kinda demonstrates, I take my Kingdom Hearts lore way too seriously.
As for hugging a heartless... my first thoughts are either large bodies or flans.
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dont froget the cheif fluff ones from tangled world
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Hay Fever the Heartless. I'm sure it'd be nice to hug, but I might die immediately afterward.
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fair enough. to sate my curiosity how long untill the recovery of twilight and tom chaper wise? cause at the moment im guessing 6-10 or at the end going into the next story
Oh God damnit. I really don't like kingdom hearts
I have never played KH. So a lot of that went over my head. Al I know is KH crossovers tent to ruin pacing and story in general so I'm kinda worried now....
I hope they approve “the road to healing“
Vantablack is the closest we'll ever get to having absolute darkness on earth.
What type of 'Darkness' is in the video game of 'The Darkness'? Also, maybe you should ask to a GM about the approval about why after days nothing happened.
KH .......... Mmmmmmmmmmmmm let's see
I used my computer to put pictures together. Did this in like 15 min total. Don’t know which is the most accurate
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-K1Xtw3GPzsq79l8bEIORVRgRznKbo_gyxXLvBrkv-c/edit
Makes it seem like 350 years is basically nothing...
Who?
Oh Rarity.
Prisma is who?
Rainbow Dash...?
Rarity?
What about the Darkness beyond Twilight?
What about DARKNESS or Special Attack: Mega Destruction Dark Ball of Darkness and Destruction...and Knuckles?
They are on your flanks, so...close enough.
Is there a way for an alicorn to remain dead? No rebirths or rejuvenations - soul left the body, permanent game over? Or are they just cursed to remain, even long after everything and everyone else is gone?
'Ey! That's wacist! Wacist against donkies!
primordial darkness is fun, due to its common association with the power of creation its simultaneously the most powerful and least predictable form, its entertaining to mess with since its unformed nature leaves it inclined to do ridiculous and flashy things for little to no reason, its basically the eccentric older brother of chaos and order, at least with chaos you can expect it to be consistently unpredictable.
one of my world concepts has darkness actually being the last remnant of the primordial chaos, i had a lot of fun with that draft
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Yeah, it's about 7-8 chapters until the end, and the last chapter is when we get Tom and Twilight back.
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This story will only be a KH crossover insofar as I might have the Dive to the Heart in the second to last or last chapter. It'll be book 3 when the crossover stuff starts happening and the pace will be adjusted accordingly.
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They have approved it, but I can't buy you the brain bleach after you've read it.
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The Road to Healing was finally approved about an hour ago.
Just based on what I remember and the clip, I'd say the Darkness is the Darkness of Evil with a sprinkling of Chaotic Darkness.
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Whoops, I'm an idiot. When I said circle, I meant ring. Also, the Heartless Symbol doesn't have the red crosses, a point Duskfall makes clear to Luna in the chapter. Finally the Penrose Triangle does go in the middle of the heart, not between the heart and the flur-de-lis. Otherwise a very good job.
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The Road to Healing will flesh out those centuries somewhat. Also, Alicorns are immortal, so their psychology works a bit different. More obvious changes will make themselves known in due time. Such as Duskfall's duel with Starlight.
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The Darkness beyond Twilight? You're gonna have to give a little description, so I know what you're talking about.
If you're asking me to describe it just based on the name, I'd say it's probably just a combination of Sleeping Darkness and Wild Darkness.
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And what about Darkness my old friend?!
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Hmm, I hadn't even considered 'pulling out of your ass' might we wacist against donkeys. Except I sorta did, because I mentioned in the Griffonstone chapter that Donkeys aren't called jackasses in Equestria. Hmm. Foresight for the win? Unintentionally useful lore?
But seriously, it completely slipped my mind that donkeys were called asses.
Alicorns are more or less cursed to wander the mortal plane forever more. There are two ways for an Alicorn to get a permanent death that I can think of right now.
1.) They have not yet fully ascended to their goddesshood and the source of their power is destroyed/removed. Like The Doctor mentioned with Celestia being too far away from Equuis' sun. If Celestia got killed then, she'd stay dead.
2.) Being reaped by either Death himself or one of his Lieutenants. Lesser reapers can take an Alicorn's Soul, but it would be sent right back to the body and the reaper responsible punished quite severely.
I'm sure there's at least one or two other methods I can't think of right now, but those two are the ground rules.
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Yeah, also the Darkness types I have listed are basically all the "main" forms of Darkness. They can also be mixed and matched in various quantities to result in "lesser" forms of Darkness.
For an obvious one, the Healing Darkness and the Sleeping Darkness combined form the Darkness of Eternal Slumber. Funny thing is Maleficent used this Darkness to put Aurora to sleep. Then the Three Fairies co-opted this Darkness to put the rest of the castle to sleep.
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Anwyn = Pony Rarity
Artemis = Human Fluttersh
Prisma = Human Rainbow
Sakura = Pony Pinkie
Appletini = Pony Applejack.
These names are only employed when the Mane 6 are intermingling with their EQG counterparts. Otherwise, if they're alone, they'll still be referred to as their given names, regardless of what side of the portal they're on.
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Then why weren’t they given their regular names in the last chapter called “The Alicorn Returns”?
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The EQG crew and the Mane 6 were in the same room. The whole point of giving them different names is so I wouldn't have to jump back and forth saying 'human fluttershy' and 'pony fluttershy' all the time and risk someone getting confused and the text becoming cluttered and repetitive.
I also can't go around reintroducing their new names every time this comes up. That would just be so incredibly insulting to my readers. I don't want to imply they should be watching Barney the Dinosaur instead of reading this fic.
It's always going to be a tricky subject when dealing with interdimensional doppelgangers. Especially when there's more than one. My solution probably isn't perfect, but without the ability to add a visual medium to this work and have, say, one Fluttershy always wear a pair of bunny ears, I simply can't think of a better solution. Maybe I'm dumb. Scratch that, I'm definitely dumb. Oh well.
Now that I think about it, if I had any talent for art, I probably could've done something like Dusk Shine in Pursuit of Happiness and drawn up comics for certain scenes to help clarify things. Once again, my curse makes things needlessly more difficult for me. Feck.
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Yay?
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i wait happy now
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That's close.
A body with nothing else = ragdoll
A body with just a Heart = Clinically brain dead, but it can still be used as a puppet using certain magics and the Heart can be useful in reconstructing a Mind. A fresh Soul can then be implanted with often very strange side effects. Often times the personality of the new Soul will try and dominate the reconstructed Mind and put a lot of strain on the Heart. This tends to wind up with the new person becoming a Heartless or going flat out insane.
A body with just a Mind = The Minecraft/Godmod AI. They walk about and seem to have some kind of intelligence, but with no emotion and no personality. They're just sacks of flesh that can move themselves.
A body with just the Soul = Pretty much a persistent vegetative state. Actually, most comas are induced so the Soul can heal the Heart and Mind or flat out construct new ones.
A body with a Mind and a Soul: A Nobody. Eventually the Soul will create a new Heart to replace the old one and in the meantime will feel no true emotions. However, if this process is delayed or the Nobody isn't powerful enough, then the Nobody runs the risk of fading away into Nothingness.
A body with a Mind and a Heart: Dementor victim. Removing the Soul usually destroys the Heart and Mind, but sometimes you can get lucky and the Heart and Mind simply shut down to protect themselves. In this case, returning the Soul revives the person with little to no lasting side effects.
A body with a Soul and a Heart: Pretty much just an animal.
I think that's everything. Let me know if I'm missing something important. Sometimes I miss the forest for the trees.
I'm going to be honest, the inclusion of elements from alternative narrative planes (i.e. fictional settings) like that of kingdom hearts as a core plot point is a bit too jarring to actually work for this story. I'm generally able to suspend my disbelief for almost anything that I don't have a sudden and potentially instinctive revulsion towards, and this story somehow ticked the box for things I do have said revulsion towards, and it happened in this chapter. Literally everything before it read just fine and felt good to experience and I trust my gut when it tells me something is bad. While I'm aware that the fall to madness is sudden and dramatic (I experienced a fugue state that lasted almost two weeks soon after I'd graduated college and I still have no recollection of the events that occurred, nor do I recall anything even under hypnotic regression therapy. It felt like blinking and losing half a month of my life) This kinda ends up feeling like you shoehorned this in as part of a desire to write a displaced fic. You brought in other elements of kingdom hearts as part of previous chapters because it actually did fit (lucid dreaming and all) but this goes from 1 to 100 REALLY quickly, even if you are going to go over the events that occurred in a separate fic (which I can clearly see you are doing). The best way I can compare this sudden change in narrative focus is like if you were driving a vespa and decided to go offroading with it without somehow modifying it to actually handle offroading in at least a passable manner, all while expecting it to suddenly turn into a 4x4 and work no problem, all because you're building a 4x4 in your garage in your spare time. This isn't really excused by it being something the doctor actually would do in this situation either. The talk with sunset is also jarring to say the least in that you completely up the ante in the references. It just feels like you took several steps away from how you've already represented these characters and decided to change how they talk to each other all of a sudden. I'm not someone who would try to push this on you, but I genuinely think this needs a retcon and a huge rethinking of future story plans in order to maintain a good flow. when you take a story with a strongly original concept and start applying crossovers to it, 99% of the time it just lowers the value of the story as a whole, and again this is why I think you're mixing in ideas you had for various fics you want to write into this story, consciously or otherwise, and as someone who has read a LOT of original fiction and fanfiction (I average about a million words a week if I'm not too busy and have been reading at that pace for years already) I highly suggest rethinking your plans or at least creating a continuity split and going down this path before exploring other "what if" scenarios alongside a secondary alternate continuity that diverges with Darkfall's mental breakdown.
I've kinda lost any interest in continuing to read this story once you began to describe her new cutie mark and even if you have some really good ideas, it just feels wrong the way you're taking this particular narrative.
As for your other types of darkness, you are missing one of the most important: conceptual darkness. that is, an abstract concept of "darkness" that can be manipulated in order to have different qualities, or that represents all forms of darkness, since it is effectively the concept OF darkness and all that entails, physically or otherwise.
Quick edit: as an addition I checked out your side story to explain the time skip and see if it triggers a response like I had with this chapter. Suffice to say, it didn't. I think the response I had is definitely related to the (IMO badly implemented) change in both tone and pacing, along with the introduction of foreign narrative elements. The fact you threw in a 350 year time skip and are putting it as a separate story also seems to add to it, because the time skip story ITSELF is fine, but the fact it's there causes me significant unease. I've had a couple hours to just sit and think about the way you're taking this story, and I STILL think you're not doing it justice. The thing is, you don't NEED elements of a crossover at all in order to get the points across that you're working on, nor do you need to even USE the dive to the heart. You can take that aspect of KH and break it down to its most basic narrative elements then use those. It would remain original in that you took inspiration from another work (which is legitimate and is a great way to get writing ideas. this is why fanfiction is a popular creative outlet after all) but it wouldn't feel like a teenager who has never taken a creative writing course or a composition and rhetoric class in their life tried to paste together concepts from their favorite franchises. To be frank, that's what reading this chapter felt like to me, and it's probably why it caused me such distress that I felt revulsion towards it. You had been seamlessly using narrative elements from various franchises in the first book and up until you had the doctor intervene in this book. That doesn't even begin to touch on how I think the doctor might have done this, but his time in equis should have at least tempered him a bit so that he would be more thoughtful in his actions. It kinda feels like you came up with this purely as a way to shoehorn some torture porn into this story to make us feel bad for the main protagonist, while also using it as a catalyst for major character development. To me, the fact you threw it into a time skip and didn't wait until the story for said time skip was approved before publishing this chapter is evidence that you didn't actually think this through enough and wrote it in on a whim. In my eyes the fact you originally were holding off on things pertaining to Darkfall's new cutie mark until the third book but suddenly changed that along with the design you thought up corroborates this. From what I can tell, you didn't even try to finesse these ideas into the story. It's like a doctor doing a kidney transplant stabbed the patient with a bowie knife, shoved a spleen through the wound and into the abdominal cavity, sutured the knife wound shut, and called it a successful operation.
TL;DR You have amazing ideas but your execution is so sloppy and badly done it literally made me sick to my stomach for a moment. You should take more time in planning out how you want this to go, and I suggest rethinking your not so subtle choice to start doing elements of a crossover even if you think it would be a good idea. You're showing that you're really just writing things on a whim and not properly planning them out. I think you're writing too fast and the quality of your writing is suffering as a result. The longest delay in your writing in the past 5 chapters has been because you didn't get your time skip story approved as fast as you thought it would and you really need to slow down and just think properly about the consequences of what you're writing would be in universe. Ideally since these chapters have basically been pumped out like nothing, you should genuinely consider a retcon (and do note that you shouldn't let the sunk cost fallacy make you think that you can't retcon this because you put work into it. Just because you put work into these chapters doesn't mean they're inherently more valuable than previous ones.)
Well... it seems something interesting is coming. Please, do continue.
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sayingimages.com/wp-content/uploads/brace-yourself-winter-is-coming-meme.jpg
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... what does my niece have to do with this?
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You just couldn't help yourself, could you?
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Eenope...
I'm just having a ball. So what if I've got a screw loose?
... no regrets.
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Bringing your daughter into this is a low move, Eris.
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Permission was asked... in the form begging.
That was a good chapter. I look forward to the eventual release of the side story "Road to Healing" i'm curious how her road worked out. Also if you want to do a dive to the heart i'd love to see how that plays out. So next chapter is "Slice of Life" I look forward to how Dusk works into that episode.
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The Road to Healing is out now. As far as Slice of Life, like the original episode, the focus won't be on the mane 6. However, with so many more players on the field, the Bugbear won't be nearly as much of an issue.
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So Dusk is a alicorn of darkness.....hopefully she doesn't become the finale villain of the month down the line. Also is Dusk even still concerned with trying to bring tom and Twilight back/is anything of them even left with all the corruption that dusk has experienced?
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She does very much intend to at least try to bring them back. However, the way she goes about it will leave much to be desired, even if she does stumble into the solution to her problems in the end. That's why Duskfall asked Harmonia if she intended to stop her.
As I mentioned in my author's notes, there are various kinds of Darkness. Duskfall is primarily focused on Healing and Wild Darkness, so she's not liable to go full villain. That doesn't mean, however, that she won't be a holy terror when she wants to be. She is also the Alicorn of Insanity, after all.