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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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im sorry to hear that dude. I hope you find a good way to sleep and get some time for yourself. You're allowed to be selfish once in awhile. Also Harmonia, you should probably not threaten one of Equestria's future heroes.... [well not sure about THIS version anyway but hopefully she will aid in the crystalling mishap and reconcile with Sunburst as per canon]
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Flurry Heart shattering the Crystal Heart... I wonder, in this timeline, with what I have planned, will that even be possible? I don't think it will, actually. However will Starlight start redeeming herself?
I like the wall of cuteness Duskfall had to deal with at the end of the chapter. I really want to see the image it brings up.
10481457
now she start realizing she legit killed ponies.. and just for what? losing contact with a childhood friend? SHe better
10481457
i know you might not tackle this in your fic and its not really canon but mind if i ask a what if scenerio? How would Duskfall handle Anon a miss if she ever heard about it or got involved with it?
Also Forgotten Friendship
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I actually do plan to have a bit touching on Anon-a-Miss and Forgotten Friendship. As far as Anon-a-Miss, it won't be much, just an aside in the second to last chapter as Duskfall is finishing the final prep work for her ritual and then Artemis bursts thru the portal brining news of the scandal rocking the school.
Forgotten Friendship is probably getting its own chapter sometime in book 3.
10481512
even if its aside i hope she chews the human teenagers for being dumb or hopefully her influence on them made them think about it and not accuse sunset before asking duskfall about it
10481546
Closer to option 2 than option 1.
Who’s Prisma again?
I think there should have been more interaction between Rainbow and Lightning Dust and a bit more explanation of her.
it looks good to me
10481633
human rainbow dash.
10481633
hehehehehehheheheheheh 😈
I think for your “Standards” of chapters it’s alittle lacking some details that could been included. It’s not bad by any means since this is the “Breather” for Dusk. Get caught up with everyone and regroup the focus of the actual story. Some stuff could be added but, overall it’s not required. Other stuff could be filler for next chapter where Dusk is asleep and everyone discussing what happen and what to do next. Some bullet points what I mean down below.
1. Who’s watching Starlight? While it’s a truce it could show who’s watching her currently so she doesn’t “sneak” off. After all she died kill and learned some deadly spells while out. I don’t think you would just leave her alone without someone keeping her in check.
2. Lyra and Bonnie could made an appearance in the crowd but wasn’t brought to attention. I don’t know if they were among the group called, but if you had a plan it could have been good to bring it up. Reason I’m unsure who is present and who’s not. The mane 6 and the human version plus Sunset, Spike, Celestia, Luna, Discord , Chrysail, Thorax, and Phyrax I imagine who all was called.
Only bring 2nd up since you said had a plan for them. Could be used to hint/act on that before next chapter. Maybe it’s in 3rd book but idk feel like it could still hint to reference the intent they have for Dusk.
3. Good recap I think? Dusk did “Eat” Sombra so while she skirts around what happen with Tirek could be a decent recap for readers to recall some stuff that happened. Same with Nightmare universe, could made a small joke with Discord to break it up some maybe where he laughs/disappointed with his alternate self or Celestia tyrant self.
This isn’t really necessary just some stuff maybe to added a joke or more character with Discord so he lightens the mood some before the dark stuff.
4. Rainbow and Lightning interaction with each other could show that Rainbow is watching Lightning her. Again this could be a filler for next chapter. Rainbow been hurt by “A” Lightning already could cause some trust issues but, same time she may respect her since she helped Dusk with 2 different “Wars”. Just to set the relationship between them.
Overall this chapter while I believe does need to be slower paced think some stuff should been discussed or at least in the next chapter talked about, before you pick up the pace for next.
Mostly point “1” and “4” needs explaining while “2” could been used to hint something or foreshadowing your plan if the act on it in this “book” (Starting to think it will be in 3rd book possible if you are). Point “3” is just recapping the past few chapters as a reminder what happen for readers.
My thought process take it as you will. After all idk what you plan for next chapter so I could be jumping the gun specially when that could have been next.
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Yeah, this did need to be a slower chapter, but I also needed to push a lot of that off to next chapter to hopefully be in a better headspace when I write it. It'll open with Duskfall leaving the room and then after everyone digests what Duskfall went through, Anwyn will 'volunteer' a few of them to come help her open her new location in Canterlot, leading us to the chapter after that.
So, in this timeline the crusaders did not get the cutie mark helping Diamond Tiara but with Trouble Shoes? Too bad Discord did not take them as apprentices
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Discord is much more mature than his show counterpart, but I don't particularly feel he's the mentor sort. Although, that might just be because the idea of 'mentor Discord' was so soured by what happened in the last season of the show, I don't wish to think about it.
During my rereading of the first story, there was a chapter about Flutterbat, and how Fluttershy can freely transform into a batpony - is that even relevant anymore? Sure, a lot's happened between then and now, but I don't think it's been mentioned once, not even in passing.
Strange...
"Fluttershy can shapeshift!"
"Who cares? She never uses it again."
"Aww...then why put it in?"
I mean, bloody hell - Lightning's timeline of birth had a thestral Rainbow; you'd think Fluttershy's ability to turn into a batpony would be kinda important, would be brought up whilst taking to said alt-Rainbow or something.
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It was mentioned in the Nightmare Night chapter and I do have future plans for it.
10483067
True, but if the Cutie Mark Crusaders are a walking disaster, imagine them with Chaos Powers as Avatars of Chaos
Question for anyone that can answer it.....
Who Is who again with the mane 6 and the counter parts? Trying to find the chapter again to recap but still getting it twisted on who’s pony to human.
10483196
Anwyn = Pony Rarity
Rarity = Human Rarity
Appletini = Pony AJ
Applejack = Human AJ
Prisma = Human Dash
Rainbow = Pony Dash
Artemis = human Fluttershy
Fluttershy = pony Fluttershy
Sakura = Pony Pinkie
Pinkie = Human Pinkie
It was all decided upon in the Nightmare Night Shenanigans chapter.