Thanks for the kind comment in the author's notes. You're right that piling on the violence in this chapter also went in hand with piling on the introspection.

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Oh man, I almost feel guilty for how fun it was to write combat.

Well, if anything, at least I can say it works for me having a deuteragonist. I did try to distinguish between the introspections (one being more analogical and flowery while the other analytical and grounded). Might help keep it fresh as well.

Yes, it's me again. I don't want to make a habit of repeat comments on this stories' chapters, lest it end up a self-serving feedback loop for a ponyfic I already have some behind-the-scenes knowledge of.

But what I wanted to follow with by mentioning here is that I was pleased to see Crane make use of a fast-drying "paint-bomb" as a weapon, like we briefly saw the Imperials employ in the main story's Moonrise Arc. It again shows attention to detail for this story.

The seeds of Alice's inner conflict are being sown after her first day on the job, and we're getting hints of Crane's possible disillusionment beneath his stoic facade as he seems to realise that, even with their stock of non-lethal options like the "paint-bomb", the Imperial Equestrians are just not different enough from humanity.

I checked what Alice's physical appearance is according to the blog post linked to in the author's note. I think I like it. Also, I ought to be available again for proofreading at the time of this writing.

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Hey, no worries - I like seeing any thoughts evoked . I'm guilty of dropping such comments as well, heh.

And I'm glad the introspectiveness hasn't been too bothersome. I'm fine-tuning things even now (next chapter is having some slooow progress). As for Alice... oh man, there's a lot of things boiling here, begging to be shown. But I will resist the temptation and give it due time, escalate appropriately. At least I'm finally in the action, and everything will pick up from here on out.

Noooooo, did something bad happen to Glass Breaker? I had the strangest fondness for her, even though she was just introduced. Are we likely to see her again?

IMO this is the best chapter yet. I love the bigger focus on characterization - Crane was a bit of a cipher before, and he's really starting to get fleshed out.