First baby!!!

fresh from her defeat at Starlight Glimmer's hooves

If you mean from “A Royal Problem” then it was Celestia who defeated her not Starlight

10316727

Ooh, my mistake. Fixed now.

Guess I gave Glimmer too much credit there. Certainly, her switching of the cutie marks contributed to Celestia successfully fighting her demons though, yes?

10316636
mate, what's with you and commenting on fics? if your truly first, then let me see who made the first comment on the fimfiction

10316941
Im in a Discord server with the some of the Authors and they will post that they just released a story. I like to show my support by being the first comment and like. The first baby comment is made partly ironically since many people just like to say "first" on videos or stories. I don't care if I get dislikes. If you want to join the server tho feel free to ask. I just wanna support the authors :)

Celestia is the first one in history ever to rape herself.

10316981

I mean, I'm sure Luna and Rarity can relate in some way or another.

Who else you have in mind for the next couple?

10317072

Couplings in this story arc ( oh yeah, it's gonna be an arc.)? Possibly something with Chrysalis, Daybreaker and Shining, to make up for manifesting/rutting Daybreaker behind Shining's, then they work on making Celestia's birthday the best ever.

Outside of this? Well... let's just say, Limestone Pie may be making a faster debut than you think in the music industry, and with a pony you'd never expect from Our Town...

Look forward to seeing you when that fic comes about on Monday!

10317088

Daybreaker getting absolutely dominated by Shining despite her attempts to seem like she's better than him would definitely make that up, and likely make him more comfortable with the arrangement. That this other person Cadence THINKS she's won over (but still seems to have submitted to) would also be his bitch might make him feel better about what's going on.

The three of them becoming an all-powerful wrecking ball of fuck crashing into Chrysalis would be great.

10317148

Hmm, a Dom! Shining angle in this could work. It might lengthen the next part of the chapter, but I think I can make it work. Thanks for the idea, man!

Cadance does not have red in her mane. Its pink, cream, and gold

10317088
I was think of an arc ft. Twilight going all hyper futa mode on Zecora to have to herself due to jealously.

10317332

Over what? The events of Bridle Gossip? Apple Bloom? The story is good, but it does help if I know what the jealousy stems from.

10317331

Ah, another mistake of mine. I shall see to its fixing immediately.

10317334
AU: Every one of her friends have a special someone even her #1 assistant is dating his pen pal.

10317226
DO IT.

Dom Shining is absolutely one of my favorite scenarios. Bonus points if his wife backs him up.

For someone who only has (barely under) 60 followers, you make some awsome stories. It should be sinful for how underappreciated you are as a writer. If I could switch friends/followers with you, I'd do it since you deserve them more than me

I got three paragraphs in before my eyes crossed and I could go no further. The amount of dead wood and flowery wording just made my mind explode. This needs to be edited way, way down. Especially during the sexy parts. If you want a good sex scene, try smaller words and shorter sentences. Iambic pentamater at the VERY most, otherwise the image in the reader's mind stutter-steps and something intense like sex just doesn't come across as especially sexy. It comes across as mechanical and drawn-out.

I can see your underlying talent, truly I can, but you are trying way-- way too hard to "write impressively" than you are trying to entertain or titillate.

10318113

I understand your concerns and will try to apply them further in my next work but... I am afraid I must disagree on the floweriness of the story. The... spirit of a clopfic is a bit more than 10-syllable sentences, and a writer is best inclined to write toward the end of the thought rath than the shortness.

Naturally, I can see why disagreement would be brokered - which is why I am going to try to apply some of this going forward - but the story that I wanted to tell was still told, and trying to full-body it can detract a reader, but it can also draw them in. And the days of me writing to impress anyone did end six months ago when I got the Master's.

Thank you for the wonderful critique, however. I'm glad to have made your acquaintance.

It would be courteous if you would state the artist for your cover, to give them the credit they deserve, and so other people can look it up. Just saying.

10318587

I did. It was Underpable; he's on Tumblr. It linked to his Patreon too.

"Not tomorrow, not after breakfast. Now" Shawshank Redemption reference

10319220
A fan. Me likey.

Link to picture?

10350350

https://underpable.tumblr.com/post/172889430694/ashen-bun-fiery-ginger-from-a-dream

10350407
Tumblr is still alive?