- Member Since 28th May, 2012
- online
Peridork
Sometimes you lose yourself in your own narcissism. That's when you find out you might be the bad guy.
Peridork
Joined 28th May, 2012 ·
Online
Also LikedSimilarAuthor
- AstralMouse · 1.4k words · 293 11 · 7.1k views
- semillon · 14k words · 59 0 · 2k views
- TheSillyAnon · 459k words · 94 30 · 1.7k views
- Talon and Thorn · 4k words · 67 0 · 2.2k views
- Freakeasy · 33k words · 180 4 · 3.3k views
- Drop_It_Like_Its_Clop · 9.6k words · 43 5 · 1.4k views
Featured In6
Stats
Page generated in 0.072 seconds
Total duration
980 users online
274,887 hits today, 2,244,100 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
First time using? How were you using them, aaaaayyye?
(kiss, kiss, kiss, kiss ... huggies ... flying around the room ... kiss, kiss, kiss...)
(I may have enacted scenes I'm writing with my Fluttershy & Rainbow Dash plushes once or twice before...)
Anyway...
This moved faster than I thought it might. I didn't expect the next stop to be dragon lands already. Not complaining though mind you. I think you've gone and done a great job on both the young un's relationship and the older pair too. Both feel well established and it's nice to see that the two pairs are in very different places in their relationships too. I hope to see both build on things and grow throughout this tale.
Manehattan's dragon zone was a surprise to me. I really did not see that coming. That's an interesting piece of headcanon there... You made it work and it kinda felt Diagon alley-ish (from HP) to me. Very exotic among the ponies but nice to see that the two species are close enough that such a place exists in a major city. The small changing populace was making sense, even though most of the hive would be still living with Thorax (well, Pharynx too as boss since Thorax is occasionally out to mate and/or relax with a certain dragon mate/missus of his)
When they got the letter at the start I immediately thought that it was because the two leaders had decided to skive off for some more personal time. The fact that Thorax is seeming to be there for some hanky panky made me think of a few choice (and funny) pictures I've seen of him and Ember. I like the dragon form of his that you described. He seems like quite the drake for her... With the added bonus that he can turn into whatever else they want to have fun with
The fact that the letter came out of nowhere makes me think that Ember has him roped into something kinda last minute. I'm keen to see where that gets them both...
The scenes in the dragon land were nice. Short enough to not be the focus of the tale, but good enough to set the scene for what our two youngsters are walking into.
I am seriously hoping that Ember is caught with her mate having a quiet moment or something and that it's Ember & Ocellus who find them, say... if they had gotten off the airship and gone to see her without warning. And if Ocellus is still in dragon form at that point, I would be very interested to see how the two changelings react to getting a wif of the other being in such a form.
This could be fun!
Especially if we throw something else in to complicate things the next day or something.
The pinky dragon was going on about sex to the two young uns..? Oh, dear. They have quite a captain there, don't they?
And I see a lot of very interesting ideas emerging (sorry, 'interesting' is the best I can come up with, its now past midnight here...) both around dragons, changelings and how the different species are intermixing & getting along.
And so far... I like it.
The worldbuilding and hints of this and that are nice.
That last scene... I thought Ocellus was a changling there, in her regular form as herself but then "clawed arm" threw me for a loop and I had to re-read. So she stayed a dragon for sleep time too? Maybe just make a bit more clarity there. As she is naturally a changling and therefore my mental iamge can revert back to her as herself if theres a time skip and no mention of what form she has taken. (this will also go for Thorax, might I add)
very interesting... changlings (or maybe just higher up 'lings) can hold a form for a long time, even if they sleep then? That's quite impressive.
Although if I read that right, Smoulder finds Ocellus's dragon form to be appealing?
What about her changing self?
Getting comfy there I see...
No wait...
Now we're getting cute & comfy...
(Dang nammit, where's the Luna emotes... I wanna put her next to twi. I Guess Scootaangel will have to do... )
I'm getting a sense that they hold each other in especially high regard and that Smoulder seems to be feeling the start of the love bug coming. I wonder how soon it will be before Ocellus realises that the love coming off her best friend is directed at her...?
A great start.
I look forward to more.
10210744
Well that's a very nice comment. Hadn't time to explain that little wrinkle in the story just yet, but how would a race built on hiding in plain sight work if they needed to switch between forms so often at night. It's a simple illusion spell in effect, once cast, it only needs a small bit of mana to run. Thought that doesn't take in effect the square-cube law of things I only briefly in passing mentioned. Queens can use bigger transformations, but those take more magic to use.
Didn't expect the Diagon Alley thing though, I can see that kind of now. Maybe its the isolated, yet within a major city feel.
I wanted it to be longer, and had ideas for more stuff in the Dragon section in Manehattan, but the little bits didn't really add the oomph I wanted the story to have. The focus is of getting to the dragon lands, and its going to probably take a while with what I have planned in chapters 2 and 3. Also, I was having fun writing the dragon captain, but I didn't want that to slog down too much. A nice hint of how I see dragons work is taking that one Spike episode where he grows into a huge dragon and taking that to an extended degree. Seven tribes of dragons. Seven deadly sins.
I'll keep the trying to differentiate between a Changeling's form change and their actual form better though. First attempt at a Changeling protagonist and its surprisingly difficult to keep that in check. I have more Changeling and dragon headcanon to do. Even though I hinted at a lot of it already. And no, this story won't be a quick one. Even if they are already in the air and going to the Dragon Lands. That's not how road trip stories work.
The intro here was nice and sweet.
Looks like they are both a bit embarrassed by the snuggle time. I found it funny that Smoulder was on top of Ocellus.
Oh yes, blame the beds. Forget that you slept on someone there aye?
Smoulder getting teased by the captain was kinda funny till the bombshell hit that she knew about Ocellus being a changeling. Made me wonder... if the captain knew, did she not say anything because...?
Guess we will never know now...
That was a rough sudden change of course in the story when the ship got attacked though. I didn't expect a huge dog to come knocking and that threw my expectations. Now I can only wonder where this fic is going. It no longer looks like a quick trip to the dragons. Suddenly, they are on the run from someone looking to bring them (or just Ocellus) in. It sounds like we might have Chrysalis behind something bad.
The transformation into a mismatched creature made me think of Animorphs and some of the weird stuff in there.
Chrysalis is a crazy geneticist? You kinda nailed that one. For sure had some weird vibes going on and it makes the old queen of the changlings feel even more dangerous to have been playing so ruthlessly with the creation of life.
I enjoyed the Thorax and Embers interactions. Maybe she should take him out and about in the dragon lands. He could help with knocking dragons into line, even if just by being a supportive mate. I wonder if he is stil going to be hanging around by the time the two younger ones show up. I hope they get to run into the older couple.
Well that's rather good to see. And yeah, I tried to put the big twist in between the cute stuff. Cause I like writing these two- even if I'm mainly writing Ocellus as Fluttershy by way of Twilight with her feel. Smolder would be the Dash archetype.
I definitely had ideas for the captain. Still do. Now how might that be possible. With the seeming loss of her character, it could be a backstory thing. Could be another thing since I never said her soul was destroyed. Eaten, probably, not annihilated. And we still haven't seen the rest of the dragons yet since we have two seemingly separate stories for now- Ember and Thorax, and Smolder and Ocellus. I have stuff planned.
A lot of this story is based in little hints I sprinkled around in my big story. Chrysalis doing weird stuff? Yeah. This time we see it outright. I seemingly write her like a horror villain. Cause this time its fully important. And well the older pair did expect Ocellus and Smolder to show up. It is a Gathering of Dragons. So what happens when they don't. They will, at some point meet up.
You have an interesting approach to changelings. Most of the Smolder & Ocellus fics Ive read tend to keep the bugs at just feeling love and not the broader array of emotions. Thats also what I understand their powers as. This wider sense of feelings is certainly coming into play in this fic and is leading to some interesting moments so I'm interested to see where that goes.
So my primary expectation started off that that Ocellus would find her friend easily enough on this island if she can vaguely sense where she may be.
It seems the kirin shes been picked up by are treating her as hostile despite her non black, less threatening form. I’m guessing these island dwellers don’t know of the bugs reform…
This is gonna be …fun for her to escape from. I kinda wonder if Smolder is going to rescue Ocellus in this case.
Oh yes?
So Ocellus getting some idea of a certain dragon’s feelings for her then, aye?
See Smolder, its not your thoughts... its your emotions that will draw her to you.. Think of cuddles and other sweet things
The cuts to and from Ember’s realm continue to be enjoyable.
Say what?
I feel like I’m missing out on some dragon lore you have going on.
I don’t think she’s got gender issues. I think she’s just enjoying enough sessions with Thorax that other dragons may be picking up that something is on the air with their dragon lord. I mean... if an egg popped out while Smolder was visiting then it would get mental...
Great times that Thorax even made an appearance in court rather than just hiding out. I got a giggle out of him taking hot literally.
I continue to look forward to more. This is a solid Ocellus & Smolder fic and I'm enjoying the broader scope that this story has.