• Member Since 28th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 43 minutes ago

Peridork


Sometimes you lose yourself in your own narcissism. That's when you find out you might be the bad guy.

T

Being a vampire sucks. Being a vampire high school student sucks more.

Fluttershy used to be normal before that Fall Formal a year ago. Now she's coming to grips that sunlight hurts in large doses without a mountain of sunscreen. Though some of the more well known weaknesses were made up for dramatic effect. Actually vampirism isn't that bad once you get used to it- and most of the time it's easy to stay hidden.

Except that there has been a few suspect drainings of blood lately near Canterlot High and Fluttershy is tasked to find out just what is going on. Now if only she could balance her time better.

Chapters (9)
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Comments ( 26 )

6681698

Why thank you for that- not the most lengthy chapter but its a good prologue chapter setting up what will happen later. Plan to write a lot more when I have time.

Not going to lie, this is good. A little longer chapter would have been nice, but I understand that life can get in the way sometimes. Any idea when the next chapter comes out?

6689628

I rather dislike the length of this chapter- because I know it could be longer. But as far as my schooling goes and how that will impact a release of the next chapter? Hmm. . . I'd say not this week or next week but possibly I'll have time the week after- that'd be my finals week but most of what I'm doing are papers. So I'd say the 13th. That week at least. Had a lot of ideas for the next chapter come up, so I'm already planning out it in my head.

6690273
Alright, cool. I just hope it doesn't take months between chapters like some stories do.

I love you for continuing this!

6815773

Don't worry. This whole series of stories I plan on writing in this AU has been bugging me. Just had not much time to write more than one chapter thanks to the holidays. And thanks for liking it. That's always a nice thing to hear.

And it's these moments I wished I chose my Plan B-

Sombra should have gone with Plan O+

6815850

That's actually a funny punctuation mistake I didn't notice thanks to writing this super quick once I got the idea to finish the chapter. I like it enough that I'll keep it in just for a chuckle.

I do hope you continue writing this. I did enjoy it. Like to see what happens next.

6815850
6815872
I'm glad yout kept it, I noticed it and it made me laugh. That joke Punzil had made caused me to laugh more. I hope to see more of this in the future!:yay:

So, is an update coming soon?

8150495

projectfandom.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/07/Kermit-Typing.gif

Very soon. Tomorrow or the next day since I actually was about halfway to publishing once I glanced at it. Fleshing it out and all that.

Will Fluttershy be badass in this story?

8152430

Yes. She's just not the biggest fan of confrontation unless necessary. It's still Fluttershy and I don't want to have her go all out guns blazing- she's trying to keep stuff normal for now and Crystal Prep are literal monster hunters. She would want to get in and out as fast as possible without drawing attention to her mission.

Sombra just called that the "Anti-Italian list of weaknesses.

When I read this, this is what I immediately thought of.
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/001/086/597/23b.png

I like the premise, but I fear it becoming a little convoluted. Also, may I recommend you try get an editor for a few punctuation and capitalization errors? I see nothing overbearingly wrong with your language, perhaps a few key misses and some misuse of the apostrophe. Thanks for the read, keep it up :twilightsmile:

I agree with Wolfcape. While the story is interesting, its rapidly becoming a very ambitious project. Plus, except for her name, this really isn't Fluttershy. Yes, its an AU and she's a vampire, but even with that she acts and talks like Sunset pre-reformation. And without that, what else is left?

I have to comment the banter from the Shadowbolt monster hunters are really artificial. I get you're trying to give off a badass vibe to both parties, but perhaps it's a little too far. The monster hunters must be rather dense to get a 6-on-1 advantage, element of surprise advantage, and blow it all by cracking jokes and giving off one-liners.
Conveniently, they decided against burning Fluttershy's house down? I hope there's a good explanation for that.

Please don't take it too hard, I hope I can help with some critique.

Since I'm following, I do have some curious questions:
As far as we know, Rarity is totally human, right? Is everyone at Canterlot High a supernatural entity and/or aware of its existence?

Well I do like the critique. Actually guessed some kind of that critique would happen since its very overblown dialogue. But think of it this way- the Shadowbolts in EQG canon are this weird sports/ academic decathalon team who's rich and rather haughty besides Twilight. So there's that basic idea of them there. But also realize that outside of a few team chants, all of the rather goofy dialogue is from their team leader. You always have a few superfans of sports. If your "sport" is hunting monsters and you know you are good at it you might start acting like a pompous idiot. The vigilante justice has been going on for a while- probably since before Cinch got replaced by Starlight Glimmer. It's hard to change the mentality of a school sports team that is "the best." Especially since canon Crystal Prep is almost a parody of school rivalries anyway.

Twilight is the newbie in this. Lemon Zest is the leader who takes it way too far. The other four didn't have much dialogue. They know they are good but not to the star quarterback believing the hype good.

Onto the useful question about Canterlot High's population of students. Everyone from both schools now knows about monsters. Hard not to notice when you have video of a demon burning down the school on video. Now Crystal Prep is overwhemingly human. Hence why they can have vigilante idiots running around. Canterlot High is now 75 percent monster, 25 percent human. They existed before but Sunset's portal opening and wrecking stuff happened but after that point things really started tipping in the monsters favor. They don't have to hide anymore. On the idea of knowledge about monsters- well they do have a library that is pretty old. Crystal Prep is the newer school and even it is old.

On the question about Rarity. well that's for later. And now for the next arc it might be some weird reverse Ferris Bueller's Day Off thing since they go to school on their day off.

And yes, Applejack does exist. She's doing her own thing.

And is also a werewolf, apparently.

MJP

i was thinking of doing something a bit similar, but with another character and vampires swapped out for werewolves (werewolves have always fascinated me for some reason)

MJP

is it just me or does Fluttershy seem a bit out of character here

Any chance of this coming back?

8864000

I'm planning on rewriting this in the next few months because I like the idea I had and it's all still here in my head but I just threw ideas at the wall.

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