This ending is very out of character for everyone

10230990

No offense, but uh... I think you should've elaborated more, with that criticism.

I wouldn't be surprised if you (the author) are surprised I was still here for the end, all things considered, with that long comment maybe one or two people read. shrug

...Not gonna lie, uh... I'd have thought there'd be more to it in the end, like showing more of how Starlight ends up processing all of what happened to her, what she has had to deal with in the aftermath, and... there's not a lot in the way of "comforting" (though that's more of a personal preference, with "Hurt/Comfort," admittedly, and I do like the friendship between Twilight and Starlight, and such).

The pacing is... less than ideal, in my opinion, too tell-y (regarding the ending; quite possibly is an issue in general, but I think it was definitely prominent here, regarding Starlight's portion of this chapter).

It also ultimately feels too... unresolved, considering that Starlight ended up being an aimless, damaged vagabond, ultimately resulting in her settling down in some backwater coastal town, until she might eventually end up deciding to see Twilight again, after she deems herself worthy. Might.

There's also the underlying tension that Chrysalis is still out there, had karma bite no deeper than "she failed this time, needs a new lair probably," can still decide to go after her and/or her friends, after finding somehow, someway to one-up them again, and Starlight has at least one less thing going for her now, than when she did at the beginning. (And even if Chrysalis got desperate enough to attack without any sort of power-up, she's still strong enough to get a cheap shot in and possibly be a threat)

She's... practically no worse off than after she was after the S6 finale, or S8, in any meaningful way, except she's perhaps not getting mercy, if she gets caught up with again.

Starlight just... left her life behind, left all of her friends behind, for this ending, which considering her character, I'm not at all sure it feels right for it to happen like this. Chrysalis basically won in a way, in that Starlight's not around her close friends anymore, the ones that we know, to help her through this, and she most certainly won in that she isn't entirely out of the game, she isn't indefinitely incapacitated and/or dead.

To be honest, this ending just feels like one big loss for Starlight. To read about her going through all the pain and suffering, just for it to end like this. It just makes it feel like the story wasn't worth reading with how unresolved the ending feels like.

Thanks for the final chapter. I do feel that there should have a been more of a redemption for the mane 6 for the things that they had said about Starlight. If you do a sequal for this story I hope the mane six will be able to redeem themselves I'am aweare that Fluttershy and Pinkie Pie didn't say anything about Starlight. I hope that if you do write a sequal I hope that Starlight becomes a new element of harmony the element of forgiveness because forgiveness is a major part of friendship and harmony. keep up the good work I hope you will write a sequal in future.

10231122
Totally agree with a lot of what you said
In retrospect, I probably should have killed off Chrysalis to add more to the ‘victory’ aspect. I didn’t because of continuity, but narratively I think that would’ve been better. I rushed this one and it shows lol
But thanks again for the feedback!

10231365
I might do a sequel, that’s one of the reasons the ending is so undefined.

10231246
I get what you mean. I intended for Starlight’s ‘redemption’ to come about in her own terms instead of someone else’s, which is why she’s struggling with going back or not.
The ending wasn’t meant to be a ‘everybody ends up right back where they started, happy as ever’. Maybe that would’ve been more satisfying for the audience, but it didn’t feel like a fit conclusion for me, personally. I still think Starlight got the best version of a ‘happy ending’ that would’ve made sense: she’s free now, and has the chance to find a real redemption.

10231746
Hello thank you for your reply I look forward to the sequal when you choose to write it keep up the good work

Well hot damn nigga, that was a good book.