• Member Since 10th Jan, 2014
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Schorl Tourmaline

Comments ( 71 )


What did my species do to deserve this?

who appear to be collecting deer as salves for some reason.

I think you mean 'slaves'?

This is good and well written


As a proofreader for this story, I feel ashamed to have missed that.

I guess the same thing as all the other victims in Schorl's stories: Nothing.

How did I misspell my favorite word of all time? :rainbowlaugh:

Deer have committed the worst sin known in this world, being so adorable that I want to enslave them all :P

Well that is a sin I can live with! I just hope Blackthorn, Aspen and the cute little fawn end up with masters who love an appeciate them, rather than those who just want to hurt them XD

And another anthro story misleads me with its LIE of a cover image.

Find me an image of anthro Blackthorn suitable for this site, and I'll gladly change it.

In the works, and this is just a temp image for the story, cause stories with cover art get more notice than those without. I only asked for a substitute because you seemed to care about the non-anthro image on an anthro story.

it's really annoying when trying to filter out anthro stories. There are so many side canon characters and most people use their OC, and are then super lazy about describing this character that I'm not familiar with, so I rely heavily on the cover image to understand what the characters look like. So when I see four legs in the cover image, I assume four legs in the story. Yes, that's my fault, and yes, I should be more diligent with reading the tags, but it's still very annoying.
I totally get it if this was time sensitive though. I'm sure there was a contest or something you were pushing for and that's why this couldn't wait for the commissioned art.

people have opinions on things. some people like anthro. I don't. I try to avoid it, and conversations like this, but sometimes a story has some misleading cover art.

Ok, I found it. Thank you very much ^_^

Your welcome ;3

I used it for my Alice, Aurora, and Bori TG TF's stories btw ;3


Glad to see you adapting some of Scylla's art for this chapter lol

I really hope the Minotaurs don't go back in their word

I wonder if they were already aware of their plan, and some of the drugs were to make the birth control useless

I wouldn’t be surprised if titanus have a potion that’ll allow him to impregnate males in that bag of his

And then a unicorn arrives... and things go about as well as one would think they would

Also quick question? Will you show the women being dominated as well as the king being fucked or just the king next chapter?

There will be a small bit displaying how the females are treated, but the focus of the next chapter will be Aspen. Hmmm... if it REALLY interests people to see how the does are treated, I could go back and make some chapters showing White Rose, Birch, and the other does being man handled by the minotaur. Though I would need quite a bit of motivation (in the form of comments) to do so, as that would be a bit of extra work, and without a little verbal pick me up, might not be worth my time.

Yes, I am now extorting my readers for small amounts of recognition. I'm evil, deal with it. :rainbowwild:

Well i personally would like to see rose, birch and the Does treatment, especially the orgy of the does being dominated. Maybe even add the males who’s maybe watching reaction to seeing their women being fucked by the Minotaurs. XD

Maybe even add a epilogue aspen, blackthorn and bramble new life as titanus slave if that’s where the directions of the story is going. XD

Oh trust me, some of that is already planned for.

Which is being planned? The does being dominated, the males reaction or the epilogue of blackthorn, bramble and aspen being titanus slave. XD

Though... if the deal do make it through, and aspen somehow like or get addicted to be fucker by titanus cock, I can see the epilogue where the Minotaur are active citizens, coexist with the deers, where Minotaurs could active fuck does out in the open then and there whenever they want while titanus is being pleased by blackthorn, bramble and aspen willingly. XD

Just out of curiosity: Does that tag cover all cervines (including non-canon species and cultures), or is it specifically for the Everfree deer from the comics and the reindeer from the Christmas special?

I assume if it's a deer, it won't be disputed.

Oooh god lol.

This is probably the darkest chapter yet XD.

I suppose my hopes of the Deer somehow turning this around were completely crushed.

Ah well lol

Well, the biggest issue is, of course, that Aspen wanted to eventually get rid of the minotaur, and was using deception to do so. The minotaur on the other hand knew there was no deal to begin with, and only followed along to get into a position where they could easily take over. Of course, who in Aspen's position wouldn't try something to spare his people from subjugation from a group of barbarians who intended to oppress you into allowing them to fuck/breed your women. In the end, there were really no good moves for Aspen to make.

I suppose lol.

I guess at this point one can only hope the Minotaur and that reindeer bitch get what's coming to them eventually lol.

I've seen you and Scylla's art! I know she is completely willing! XD

The fact that the status is still incomplete, I’m guessing their might be a epilogue or perhaps an extra chapter seeing the does treatment being fucked in a large orgy. XD

“Don’t get so hostile,” Master went on to say, clutching the hip of the doe straddling his cock to move her at his prefered pace, “It’s not like we are being unreasonable with your people. After all, your intent for us was extinction. If we were to give you an appropriate punishment for that, then we’d have to cut your head off as an example. Enslavement at least ensures that your species will continue on, in some fashion, and that you will be able to live out the rest of your life, if only as Titanius’ pet.”

>Not like we were unreasonable.
Boy, you wanted to impregnate every female dear in the city once every year.

First and foremost, how the hell are the Deer going to be able to keep their own population up when every doe is going to be pregnant with a minotaur nine months out of an entire year.

Not to mention, it's not like the minotaurs can't keep their population up with only the Antlereans.

God damn I really hope the minotaur go fucking extinct at some point. Like, just full on out cease to exist.

Still like the story tho!! Really well written.

Just to explain things just a little bit (since I did so poorly in this story), the minotaur breeding process doesn't only produce minotaur. If it did, then there probably wouldn't be as many Antlerteans as there were depicted in this story. What happens is that when a female is impregnated by a minotaur, it will either result in them having a minotaur male, or a female of their own species. This is why the stag to doe ratio of the antlerteans represented in this story is so small. They do also, on occasion, allow their slaves to breed with one another, if only to produce more males, as some minotaur are gay, and like having guys around as sex slaves. So the deer of Thicket will continue on in some capacity, but their culture will be absorbed into that of the minotaur's, where their inventions and people will become part of minotaur society, but over time most of their traditions and history will be phased out, replaced with a mock version of it that fits the minotaur ideal (Such as how the Antlerteans are the minotaur's scientist and doctors, the Thicket deer may become their potion makers and gardeners).

So is there gonna be more to the story?

yes, at the very least two more chapters, with a possible addition of more chapters at the end of the year.

Good to see Xenia in this story so far.

Ok, so.

In all honesty, I have been following this story since it started and I really need to get something off my chest.

This story is FAR to dark to enjoy the sex, yet at the same time has far too much sex to enjoy the dark. It is a terrible middle ground and to be honest I hate it.

I particularly hate the parts where you try to justify the Minotaurs actions as being somehow justify able especially in a world where fucking magic exists. Just ask the Unicorns to cast a couple spells and turn some of your Minotaurs into females, Christ!

And I am nit kidding when I say that judging from how the Minotaurs run things, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a fucking slave revolt every single day, even if that slave revolt was just a bunch of slaves getting together and fucking murdering themselves with the closest sharp objects there is, not to mention how, if the Deer were actually smart, they'd grab the nearest coat hanger and rip their uteruses out to prevent the Minotaur from having their way.

And that kind of thing is only about half as dark as this fic is.

God, poor Blackthorn. Things are really looking bad for him.

Holding out for something to somehow turn out alright XD



That being said, I tend to keep my rules close to that of the actual show, while leaving out some more cartoonish aspects, and one of the things that they heavily implied was that gender bending magic is next to impossible. Also, even if it weren't, what makes you believe that would produce a viable female from the process? Again, its magic, but its not magic.

You know, I do love how people go straight to the "Why don't they mass suicide" option like it's something they'd do in the same instance. Something tells me you have never been in a situation that you had to kill yourself to get out of (just a guess), but it's not really that easy to murder yourself. Same with self mutilation, because it fucking hurts. While you don't like what my story is saying, it is much more likely that people try to endure a bad situation in the hopes that they eventually will get over it, than to kill themselves in the thought that it will never end. While some might try that (and honestly would be stopped via extreme means by the minotaur, who have already been through this with one species of deer), it would not be the norm.

As for how dark my story is. Well, yes, it's supposed to be a dark, sexual driven story, but how dark it really is based on the reader's opinion. If you can see it as stroke material, that's fine, but some might see it as just a dark story that has terrible rape scenes. I question why you assume such a story has to be enjoyable, as one might say that if you would think that, then there is something wrong with your point of view. The only objective of this story is to create some form of emotion in the reader, and with you I have accomplished that. Sure, it might be negative, but that still means that the story touched you in some manner, else you would just dismiss the story and never say anything about it, which is honestly much worse than you saying you hate it.

So thanks for the comment, and thanks for reading my story.

Yet they can somehow magically have enough people to conquer entire kingdoms despite not having a secure way of producing more Minotaurs. That seems pretty magic to me.

And I'd say self mutilization or suicide hurts a hell of alot less than being torn away from your family, and used as a sex toy by something that would realistically kill you if it fucking you. And wow, they won't even let the deer end their suffering when dealing with the great deal of pain brought on by being brutalizing by them? And you try to justify the Minotaurs as not being total fucking cunts? Wow!

Yo bro, you commissioned a rape fic from me, and are now starting shit for an actual realistic look into a rape fic.

Chill out and fuck off at this point XD

Hahahahaha, that's hilarious! :pinkiecrazy:

Gotta chime in and give my own two cent...

And I am nit kidding when I say that judging from how the Minotaurs run things, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a fucking slave revolt every single day [...]

Who says there isn't? Just because the story doesn't show us something, doesn't mean it isn't happening.

You can trust me when I tell you that this isn't the first time Schorl has thought about such things, or discussed with others - myself (being one of her proofreaders and editors) included. I have to say, I find your suggestions for resistance depressingly uncreative on top of unhelpful. It seems to me you suggest resistance to a situation without properly analyzing it first. Schorl pointed out that gender bending magic is generally thought to be impossible in MLP, but that wouldn't stop people from doing research in that direction. But the Minotaur don't. What does that tell you about them? I quite honestly think the Minotaur are creatively impotent, and yet they're still surrounded by technological marvels. Who do you think builds and operates them? As I see it and as I've told Schorl a few times, the Antlerteans (or at least some of them) are already in charge of most of Mintaur society's fundamental functions, and the smarter ones among them are trying to stealthily extend their own reach. Let's look at the dialogue between Blackthorn and the stag who's torturing him.

“How can you all just stand there and do the bidding of those barbarians?” Blackthorn asked in anger, “Have you no shame? No pride?”

“Domitius…” said the stag in the coat, trying to start a sentence.

“Blackthorn.” the bound stag corrected.

Domitius.” the other male deer stressed, “Do you know where you are?”

“In a minotaur city.” Blackthorn said with confidence.

“You are in Minopolis,” the stag in the coat explained, “The island of Minopolis, formerly the island of Antlertis, though saying it is an island is a little disingenuous to its actual size. It has over a dozen cities on it, including a few locations used purely to raise non-minotaur offspring of in a controlled environment. You are at their capital, located in the center of this nation, surrounded by miles of open sea in all directions. There is no leaving this place unless the minotaur allow it.”

“It can’t be as bleak as you’re trying to describe it.” Blackthorn rebutted, still wanting to cling to hope that there was some way to set this right.

“While I can respect your optimism, I can tell you that slaves have tried many times to escape, and not a single one of them have ever accomplished it. We are too isolated here, and no one even knows we exist to come and save us. While it might not be ideal, it is better just to obey. The minotaur even start to ease up on you after a while if you just do as they tell you. They’re not monsters, they just want to keep their species going.”

At first, this seems like the typical "know your place" pep talk given by slave collaborators in these kinds of stories. But look at the conversation a bit more closely and you'll start to see how weird it is. So the stag tells Blackthorn that escape attempts are futile. Sorry, but who ever even brought up escape as an option? It wasn't part of the conversation until he brought it up. Why would he bring up that idea on his own? Because he suspects Blackthorn might try that? What would be his evidence for such a suspicion? Only a second earlier, Blackthorn bragged about being a warrior and said that he was defending his pride. One of the most worthless things to fight for in that situation, really. If you want to overthrow an oppressive regime, what you need is results, not pride. The entire discussion is about how to define your goals.

And then we get this:

“And what part of that do you fall into?” Blackthorn asked the buck, knowing he couldn’t be that old himself.

“Does that really matter?” the stag replied, “The only thing that does matter is that there is no going back to the way things were. From this point on, you have two choices. Fight a lost battle for something you can never get back, or… learn to accept it and build something good out of a bad situation.”

I really don't know if you caught that, but that can be easily read as a dog whistle. As we've discussed earlier, the magical and technological marvels of Minotaur society are created, built and run by Antlerteans. The Minotaurs depend on them, and they don't even realize to what extent. What you want to do in this situation is to gradually extend your own and your people's reach and your grasp on knowledge, technology and society without the Minotaurs even noticing. It's pretty clear from their conversation that he thinks future-oriented and long-term. Heck, his thinking can be described as downright generational, while Blackthorn is focused on the past and on going back to it. If the current trends of Minotaur society keep up and the Antlerteans can pull the right levers, they don't even have to rebel. They'll be in control of their society's vital functions within a generation or two. They're taking over right under the Minotaur's noses, because everything the Minotaurs have only works because they are operating it - and not only are the Minotaurs too self-absorbed to even notice, they couldn't stop it even if they weren't, because they already rely on them to an extreme extent. Plus, what exactly would your rebellion even be aimed at? Blackthorn's rebellion aims at maintaining pride, and your suggestions are even more selfish and short-sighted, but think of the consequences. Even if you could destroy the Minotaurs with a rebellion right here and now, you'd only create a power vacuum, potentially leading an entire small continent into a dark age. But if you can take over the way I just described, you can also start gathering the knowledge and abilities necessary for keeping things stable after your takeover - stable enough to build something new, this time for yourselves.

Comment posted by Aristagtle deleted Feb 11th, 2020

Entire kingdoms? Do you mean the small settlement in the Everfree that Aspen calls a kingdom? I'm not sure how familiar you are with the IDW comics, but Thicket never felt that big to me, especially with Everfree being a kinda small place, and the ponies can walk through the forest without hitting the city. If you are including the Antlerteans, well... what do you know about them? I mean, they are just a made up race created by me so the minotaur can have some slaves. Sure, they have a weird magic, but for all you know their kingdom could have consisted of a few cities on an island. All I'm saying is that you're blowing it out of proportions.

And am I trying to justify the minotaur? If you mean that in that I am explaining how they do what they do, then yes. Everything I have said explains how these things happen quiet nicely. If you mean am I trying to say that what they are doing is some sort of super awesome thing and we should all let ourselves be raped by big burly men, then clearly you are taking this too seriously. Maybe you should take a break from rape fiction for a minute buddy, might do you some good if it's getting you this worked up over some letters on the computer screen.

Also, this might be shocking coming from myself, but you clearly haven't given much thought into just how sucky deer generally are.

Even if the Minotaurs didn't have a psychic among them and we're just mindless barbarians, there is actually no way they could have defeated the Minotaur.

Deer have literally nothing that gives them an advantage over legit anyone.

A list of what they have and some things who do it better without even trying:
Agility: Gryphons
Cuteness: New Lings
Plant Magic: Kirin and even Earth Ponies
Antlers: No one. That is all they have.
Xenophobia: Yaks
Living in the Everfree: Ponies can obviously do it better.
Animal peace or whatever bullshit: Ponies in general

They have nothing, and going by the comics, Thicket has a population in the triple digits at best.

Even if it were just 5 Minotaur raiders taking the kingdom, they would have lost. The Minotaur aren't magical OO gods or anything as you are arguing.

Deer just suck XD

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