The deer of Thicket have come in contact with an invading race of creatures from beyond the Everfree, ones with terrible intentions for thier humble civilization.
In all honesty, I have been following this story since it started and I really need to get something off my chest.
This story is FAR to dark to enjoy the sex, yet at the same time has far too much sex to enjoy the dark. It is a terrible middle ground and to be honest I hate it.
I particularly hate the parts where you try to justify the Minotaurs actions as being somehow justify able especially in a world where fucking magic exists. Just ask the Unicorns to cast a couple spells and turn some of your Minotaurs into females, Christ!
And I am nit kidding when I say that judging from how the Minotaurs run things, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a fucking slave revolt every single day, even if that slave revolt was just a bunch of slaves getting together and fucking murdering themselves with the closest sharp objects there is, not to mention how, if the Deer were actually smart, they'd grab the nearest coat hanger and rip their uteruses out to prevent the Minotaur from having their way.
And that kind of thing is only about half as dark as this fic is.
That being said, I tend to keep my rules close to that of the actual show, while leaving out some more cartoonish aspects, and one of the things that they heavily implied was that gender bending magic is next to impossible. Also, even if it weren't, what makes you believe that would produce a viable female from the process? Again, its magic, but its not magic.
You know, I do love how people go straight to the "Why don't they mass suicide" option like it's something they'd do in the same instance. Something tells me you have never been in a situation that you had to kill yourself to get out of (just a guess), but it's not really that easy to murder yourself. Same with self mutilation, because it fucking hurts. While you don't like what my story is saying, it is much more likely that people try to endure a bad situation in the hopes that they eventually will get over it, than to kill themselves in the thought that it will never end. While some might try that (and honestly would be stopped via extreme means by the minotaur, who have already been through this with one species of deer), it would not be the norm.
As for how dark my story is. Well, yes, it's supposed to be a dark, sexual driven story, but how dark it really is based on the reader's opinion. If you can see it as stroke material, that's fine, but some might see it as just a dark story that has terrible rape scenes. I question why you assume such a story has to be enjoyable, as one might say that if you would think that, then there is something wrong with your point of view. The only objective of this story is to create some form of emotion in the reader, and with you I have accomplished that. Sure, it might be negative, but that still means that the story touched you in some manner, else you would just dismiss the story and never say anything about it, which is honestly much worse than you saying you hate it.
So thanks for the comment, and thanks for reading my story.
10078689 Yet they can somehow magically have enough people to conquer entire kingdoms despite not having a secure way of producing more Minotaurs. That seems pretty magic to me.
And I'd say self mutilization or suicide hurts a hell of alot less than being torn away from your family, and used as a sex toy by something that would realistically kill you if it fucking you. And wow, they won't even let the deer end their suffering when dealing with the great deal of pain brought on by being brutalizing by them? And you try to justify the Minotaurs as not being total fucking cunts? Wow!
10078521 Gotta chime in and give my own two cent...
And I am nit kidding when I say that judging from how the Minotaurs run things, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a fucking slave revolt every single day [...]
Who says there isn't? Just because the story doesn't show us something, doesn't mean it isn't happening.
You can trust me when I tell you that this isn't the first time Schorl has thought about such things, or discussed with others - myself (being one of her proofreaders and editors) included. I have to say, I find your suggestions for resistance depressingly uncreative on top of unhelpful. It seems to me you suggest resistance to a situation without properly analyzing it first. Schorl pointed out that gender bending magic is generally thought to be impossible in MLP, but that wouldn't stop people from doing research in that direction. But the Minotaur don't. What does that tell you about them? I quite honestly think the Minotaur are creatively impotent, and yet they're still surrounded by technological marvels. Who do you think builds and operates them? As I see it and as I've told Schorl a few times, the Antlerteans (or at least some of them) are already in charge of most of Mintaur society's fundamental functions, and the smarter ones among them are trying to stealthily extend their own reach. Let's look at the dialogue between Blackthorn and the stag who's torturing him.
“How can you all just stand there and do the bidding of those barbarians?” Blackthorn asked in anger, “Have you no shame? No pride?”
“Domitius…” said the stag in the coat, trying to start a sentence.
“Blackthorn.” the bound stag corrected.
“Domitius.” the other male deer stressed, “Do you know where you are?”
“In a minotaur city.” Blackthorn said with confidence.
“You are in Minopolis,” the stag in the coat explained, “The island of Minopolis, formerly the island of Antlertis, though saying it is an island is a little disingenuous to its actual size. It has over a dozen cities on it, including a few locations used purely to raise non-minotaur offspring of in a controlled environment. You are at their capital, located in the center of this nation, surrounded by miles of open sea in all directions. There is no leaving this place unless the minotaur allow it.”
“It can’t be as bleak as you’re trying to describe it.” Blackthorn rebutted, still wanting to cling to hope that there was some way to set this right.
“While I can respect your optimism, I can tell you that slaves have tried many times to escape, and not a single one of them have ever accomplished it. We are too isolated here, and no one even knows we exist to come and save us. While it might not be ideal, it is better just to obey. The minotaur even start to ease up on you after a while if you just do as they tell you. They’re not monsters, they just want to keep their species going.”
At first, this seems like the typical "know your place" pep talk given by slave collaborators in these kinds of stories. But look at the conversation a bit more closely and you'll start to see how weird it is. So the stag tells Blackthorn that escape attempts are futile. Sorry, but who ever even brought up escape as an option? It wasn't part of the conversation until he brought it up. Why would he bring up that idea on his own? Because he suspects Blackthorn might try that? What would be his evidence for such a suspicion? Only a second earlier, Blackthorn bragged about being a warrior and said that he was defending his pride. One of the most worthless things to fight for in that situation, really. If you want to overthrow an oppressive regime, what you need is results, not pride. The entire discussion is about how to define your goals.
And then we get this:
“And what part of that do you fall into?” Blackthorn asked the buck, knowing he couldn’t be that old himself.
“Does that really matter?” the stag replied, “The only thing that does matter is that there is no going back to the way things were. From this point on, you have two choices. Fight a lost battle for something you can never get back, or… learn to accept it and build something good out of a bad situation.”
I really don't know if you caught that, but that can be easily read as a dog whistle. As we've discussed earlier, the magical and technological marvels of Minotaur society are created, built and run by Antlerteans. The Minotaurs depend on them, and they don't even realize to what extent. What you want to do in this situation is to gradually extend your own and your people's reach and your grasp on knowledge, technology and society without the Minotaurs even noticing. It's pretty clear from their conversation that he thinks future-oriented and long-term. Heck, his thinking can be described as downright generational, while Blackthorn is focused on the past and on going back to it. If the current trends of Minotaur society keep up and the Antlerteans can pull the right levers, they don't even have to rebel. They'll be in control of their society's vital functions within a generation or two. They're taking over right under the Minotaur's noses, because everything the Minotaurs have only works because they are operating it - and not only are the Minotaurs too self-absorbed to even notice, they couldn't stop it even if they weren't, because they already rely on them to an extreme extent. Plus, what exactly would your rebellion even be aimed at? Blackthorn's rebellion aims at maintaining pride, and your suggestions are even more selfish and short-sighted, but think of the consequences. Even if you could destroy the Minotaurs with a rebellion right here and now, you'd only create a power vacuum, potentially leading an entire small continent into a dark age. But if you can take over the way I just described, you can also start gathering the knowledge and abilities necessary for keeping things stable after your takeover - stable enough to build something new, this time for yourselves.
Comment posted by Aristagtle deleted Feb 11th, 2020
10078736 Entire kingdoms? Do you mean the small settlement in the Everfree that Aspen calls a kingdom? I'm not sure how familiar you are with the IDW comics, but Thicket never felt that big to me, especially with Everfree being a kinda small place, and the ponies can walk through the forest without hitting the city. If you are including the Antlerteans, well... what do you know about them? I mean, they are just a made up race created by me so the minotaur can have some slaves. Sure, they have a weird magic, but for all you know their kingdom could have consisted of a few cities on an island. All I'm saying is that you're blowing it out of proportions.
And am I trying to justify the minotaur? If you mean that in that I am explaining how they do what they do, then yes. Everything I have said explains how these things happen quiet nicely. If you mean am I trying to say that what they are doing is some sort of super awesome thing and we should all let ourselves be raped by big burly men, then clearly you are taking this too seriously. Maybe you should take a break from rape fiction for a minute buddy, might do you some good if it's getting you this worked up over some letters on the computer screen.
10078736 Also, this might be shocking coming from myself, but you clearly haven't given much thought into just how sucky deer generally are.
Even if the Minotaurs didn't have a psychic among them and we're just mindless barbarians, there is actually no way they could have defeated the Minotaur.
Deer have literally nothing that gives them an advantage over legit anyone.
A list of what they have and some things who do it better without even trying: Agility: Gryphons Cuteness: New Lings Plant Magic: Kirin and even Earth Ponies Antlers: No one. That is all they have. Xenophobia: Yaks Living in the Everfree: Ponies can obviously do it better. Animal peace or whatever bullshit: Ponies in general ETC.
They have nothing, and going by the comics, Thicket has a population in the triple digits at best.
Even if it were just 5 Minotaur raiders taking the kingdom, they would have lost. The Minotaur aren't magical OO gods or anything as you are arguing.
10084654 Well... I wouldn't cut the deer short. To me, they are kinda like the MLP version of Elves, just like Diamond Dogs are like MLP goblins to me. They do have an incredible power over plants, even more than the Earth Ponies I would say. They also live in one of the most feared places in Equestria, a place were ponies try to steer clear (yet often go into for silly reasons). The thing is though... in the comics they WERE pretty much defeated by a minotaur with a bulldozer. The Everfree deer, while pretty powerful, are not very intimidating, especially when they can be defeated by the simple use of concrete. Still, they are neat. I like them. They don't suck (that much).
Also, plant magic is like, the absolute worst form of magic ever XD, bar none. Anyone with a mere machete can crush a plant magic user, and pretty much every other form of magic can counter it without even trying lol.
And even then, the Kirin managed to turn a seed into a full on out harvestable plant in a couple seconds without trying or any physical effort in general in their episode, so they can do it too. And probably do it better too XD.
Deer ain't got crap when it comes to advantages on their side, so people claiming that anyone conquering them as completely unstoppable Mary Sue perfect gods are moronic at best XD
Comment posted by Dragon Turtle deleted Feb 20th, 2020
Ok, so.
In all honesty, I have been following this story since it started and I really need to get something off my chest.
This story is FAR to dark to enjoy the sex, yet at the same time has far too much sex to enjoy the dark. It is a terrible middle ground and to be honest I hate it.
I particularly hate the parts where you try to justify the Minotaurs actions as being somehow justify able especially in a world where fucking magic exists. Just ask the Unicorns to cast a couple spells and turn some of your Minotaurs into females, Christ!
And I am nit kidding when I say that judging from how the Minotaurs run things, I wouldn't be surprised if there was a fucking slave revolt every single day, even if that slave revolt was just a bunch of slaves getting together and fucking murdering themselves with the closest sharp objects there is, not to mention how, if the Deer were actually smart, they'd grab the nearest coat hanger and rip their uteruses out to prevent the Minotaur from having their way.
And that kind of thing is only about half as dark as this fic is.
God, poor Blackthorn. Things are really looking bad for him.
Holding out for something to somehow turn out alright XD
10078521
0:13
That being said, I tend to keep my rules close to that of the actual show, while leaving out some more cartoonish aspects, and one of the things that they heavily implied was that gender bending magic is next to impossible. Also, even if it weren't, what makes you believe that would produce a viable female from the process? Again, its magic, but its not magic.
You know, I do love how people go straight to the "Why don't they mass suicide" option like it's something they'd do in the same instance. Something tells me you have never been in a situation that you had to kill yourself to get out of (just a guess), but it's not really that easy to murder yourself. Same with self mutilation, because it fucking hurts. While you don't like what my story is saying, it is much more likely that people try to endure a bad situation in the hopes that they eventually will get over it, than to kill themselves in the thought that it will never end. While some might try that (and honestly would be stopped via extreme means by the minotaur, who have already been through this with one species of deer), it would not be the norm.
As for how dark my story is. Well, yes, it's supposed to be a dark, sexual driven story, but how dark it really is based on the reader's opinion. If you can see it as stroke material, that's fine, but some might see it as just a dark story that has terrible rape scenes. I question why you assume such a story has to be enjoyable, as one might say that if you would think that, then there is something wrong with your point of view. The only objective of this story is to create some form of emotion in the reader, and with you I have accomplished that. Sure, it might be negative, but that still means that the story touched you in some manner, else you would just dismiss the story and never say anything about it, which is honestly much worse than you saying you hate it.
So thanks for the comment, and thanks for reading my story.
10078689
Yet they can somehow magically have enough people to conquer entire kingdoms despite not having a secure way of producing more Minotaurs. That seems pretty magic to me.
And I'd say self mutilization or suicide hurts a hell of alot less than being torn away from your family, and used as a sex toy by something that would realistically kill you if it fucking you. And wow, they won't even let the deer end their suffering when dealing with the great deal of pain brought on by being brutalizing by them? And you try to justify the Minotaurs as not being total fucking cunts? Wow!
10078521
Yo bro, you commissioned a rape fic from me, and are now starting shit for an actual realistic look into a rape fic.
Chill out and fuck off at this point XD
10078740
Hahahahaha, that's hilarious!
10078521
Gotta chime in and give my own two cent...
Who says there isn't? Just because the story doesn't show us something, doesn't mean it isn't happening.
You can trust me when I tell you that this isn't the first time Schorl has thought about such things, or discussed with others - myself (being one of her proofreaders and editors) included. I have to say, I find your suggestions for resistance depressingly uncreative on top of unhelpful. It seems to me you suggest resistance to a situation without properly analyzing it first. Schorl pointed out that gender bending magic is generally thought to be impossible in MLP, but that wouldn't stop people from doing research in that direction. But the Minotaur don't. What does that tell you about them? I quite honestly think the Minotaur are creatively impotent, and yet they're still surrounded by technological marvels. Who do you think builds and operates them? As I see it and as I've told Schorl a few times, the Antlerteans (or at least some of them) are already in charge of most of Mintaur society's fundamental functions, and the smarter ones among them are trying to stealthily extend their own reach. Let's look at the dialogue between Blackthorn and the stag who's torturing him.
At first, this seems like the typical "know your place" pep talk given by slave collaborators in these kinds of stories. But look at the conversation a bit more closely and you'll start to see how weird it is. So the stag tells Blackthorn that escape attempts are futile. Sorry, but who ever even brought up escape as an option? It wasn't part of the conversation until he brought it up. Why would he bring up that idea on his own? Because he suspects Blackthorn might try that? What would be his evidence for such a suspicion? Only a second earlier, Blackthorn bragged about being a warrior and said that he was defending his pride. One of the most worthless things to fight for in that situation, really. If you want to overthrow an oppressive regime, what you need is results, not pride. The entire discussion is about how to define your goals.
And then we get this:
I really don't know if you caught that, but that can be easily read as a dog whistle. As we've discussed earlier, the magical and technological marvels of Minotaur society are created, built and run by Antlerteans. The Minotaurs depend on them, and they don't even realize to what extent. What you want to do in this situation is to gradually extend your own and your people's reach and your grasp on knowledge, technology and society without the Minotaurs even noticing. It's pretty clear from their conversation that he thinks future-oriented and long-term. Heck, his thinking can be described as downright generational, while Blackthorn is focused on the past and on going back to it. If the current trends of Minotaur society keep up and the Antlerteans can pull the right levers, they don't even have to rebel. They'll be in control of their society's vital functions within a generation or two. They're taking over right under the Minotaur's noses, because everything the Minotaurs have only works because they are operating it - and not only are the Minotaurs too self-absorbed to even notice, they couldn't stop it even if they weren't, because they already rely on them to an extreme extent. Plus, what exactly would your rebellion even be aimed at? Blackthorn's rebellion aims at maintaining pride, and your suggestions are even more selfish and short-sighted, but think of the consequences. Even if you could destroy the Minotaurs with a rebellion right here and now, you'd only create a power vacuum, potentially leading an entire small continent into a dark age. But if you can take over the way I just described, you can also start gathering the knowledge and abilities necessary for keeping things stable after your takeover - stable enough to build something new, this time for yourselves.
10078736
Entire kingdoms? Do you mean the small settlement in the Everfree that Aspen calls a kingdom? I'm not sure how familiar you are with the IDW comics, but Thicket never felt that big to me, especially with Everfree being a kinda small place, and the ponies can walk through the forest without hitting the city. If you are including the Antlerteans, well... what do you know about them? I mean, they are just a made up race created by me so the minotaur can have some slaves. Sure, they have a weird magic, but for all you know their kingdom could have consisted of a few cities on an island. All I'm saying is that you're blowing it out of proportions.
And am I trying to justify the minotaur? If you mean that in that I am explaining how they do what they do, then yes. Everything I have said explains how these things happen quiet nicely. If you mean am I trying to say that what they are doing is some sort of super awesome thing and we should all let ourselves be raped by big burly men, then clearly you are taking this too seriously. Maybe you should take a break from rape fiction for a minute buddy, might do you some good if it's getting you this worked up over some letters on the computer screen.
10078736
Also, this might be shocking coming from myself, but you clearly haven't given much thought into just how sucky deer generally are.
Even if the Minotaurs didn't have a psychic among them and we're just mindless barbarians, there is actually no way they could have defeated the Minotaur.
Deer have literally nothing that gives them an advantage over legit anyone.
A list of what they have and some things who do it better without even trying:
Agility: Gryphons
Cuteness: New Lings
Plant Magic: Kirin and even Earth Ponies
Antlers: No one. That is all they have.
Xenophobia: Yaks
Living in the Everfree: Ponies can obviously do it better.
Animal peace or whatever bullshit: Ponies in general
ETC.
They have nothing, and going by the comics, Thicket has a population in the triple digits at best.
Even if it were just 5 Minotaur raiders taking the kingdom, they would have lost. The Minotaur aren't magical OO gods or anything as you are arguing.
Deer just suck XD
10084654
Well... I wouldn't cut the deer short. To me, they are kinda like the MLP version of Elves, just like Diamond Dogs are like MLP goblins to me. They do have an incredible power over plants, even more than the Earth Ponies I would say. They also live in one of the most feared places in Equestria, a place were ponies try to steer clear (yet often go into for silly reasons). The thing is though... in the comics they WERE pretty much defeated by a minotaur with a bulldozer. The Everfree deer, while pretty powerful, are not very intimidating, especially when they can be defeated by the simple use of concrete. Still, they are neat. I like them. They don't suck (that much).
10086986
Point proven XD
Also, plant magic is like, the absolute worst form of magic ever XD, bar none. Anyone with a mere machete can crush a plant magic user, and pretty much every other form of magic can counter it without even trying lol.
And even then, the Kirin managed to turn a seed into a full on out harvestable plant in a couple seconds without trying or any physical effort in general in their episode, so they can do it too. And probably do it better too XD.
Deer ain't got crap when it comes to advantages on their side, so people claiming that anyone conquering them as completely unstoppable Mary Sue perfect gods are moronic at best XD