• Member Since 17th Jun, 2017
  • offline last seen 9 hours ago

The Red Parade


One for the rocks and one for the scary.

T

Rainbow Dash never got over her fear of flying in airplanes, but when its the only option for her to get back to Ponyville, she'll just have to face her fears. But things quickly go sideways when she suddenly has to find a way to land the plane safely. To make matters worse, her co-pilot is none other than an old rival, the mare talking her through landing is her old commanding officer, and the plane itself isn't in great condition. Can Rainbow find a way to land the plane without killing everypony on board? What exactly is the statue of Nameless the Unnameable, who used to be a king? Is Dr. Hooves really a doctor? (Don't worry, he is a doctor). Find out now in Mareplane!, The Red Parade's first and only attempt at writing something remotely amusing.


Reviewed by the wonderful Flutterjackdash!

Ranked as a #1 favorite by Donnnnn!


The following story is a parody of the movie Airplane!, which is a parody of the movie Zero Hour!.

The following story also contains puns, bad jokes, poorly worded statements, non sequiturs, contradictions, running gags, brief moments of physical violence, swearing, profanity, swearing and profanity, beets of silence, plays on words, rhetorical questions, and a deep moral message. Maybe. May also contain nuts. Mareplane! has every single joke broken down here.


The Cast:

Main Characters:
Rainbow Dash
Lightning Dust
Minuette
Lyra
Spitfire

Side Characters:
Big Macintosh
Nurse Redheart
Octavia
Vinyl Scratch
Braeburn
Daring Do
Trixie

Background Characters:
Twilight Sparkle
Fluttershy (mentioned)
Unnamed 'beets of silence' salespony
Cloud Kicker
Blossomforth
Berry Punch
Unnamed Canterlot flight dispatcher
Nameless the Unnameable (mentioned)
Sparkler
Dinky Doo
Ditzy Doo
Dr. Hooves
Twinkleshine
Raindrops
Caramel
Soarin'
Fleetfoot (mentioned)
Surprise (mentioned)
Apple Strudel (mentioend)
Fiddlesticks
Flitter and Cloudchaser (mentioned)
Thunderlane (mentioned)
Clear Skies
Shining Armor
Princess Celestia
Maud Pie
Engine #2
Willy Not that Upset About it
Collin the Police
Unnamed Reporters
Discord (mentioned)
Moon Dancer
Bon Bon
Prince Blueblood

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 35 )

The bit with Vinyl didn't quite work as expected because of formatting issues. There's supposed to be long periods of space in between the punctuation marks to make it seem like there's an actual sentence there without words. Oh well.

Bruh, this is an amazing Parody!

Admirable!

9965406
here:

“⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀.⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀, ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀?⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀!⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀,” Vinyl said with a casual smirk.

Use that invisible character; copy/paste wherever needed.

9965521
Oh great thanks so much! You saved the joke!

Hey, if my dad actually liked MLP, he would be reading this. Glad someone's done something like this ;3

Huh. A month after I wrote Movie Night -- Airplane!, this crops up on my feed.

Brb, reading.

9966127
Surely you can’t be serious! Honestly this is nowhere near as good as Airplane! but I hope you enjoy anyways.

Okay so it wasnt as funny as Airplane! but I still liked it. That's going in the favorite bin.

Exceeded expectations. I was afraid it would just be a ponified rehash of all Airplane!'s well-worn gags, and there's some of that going on, but I was pleased to see you putting in quite a bit of your own material. Not every joke landed--pun unintended--but I can't think of a better homage to the original than something that just unashamedly throws everything at the wall just to see what sticks.

Also, Spitfire makes a great Robert Stack.

9969935
Thank you! And yes, the parody will never succeed the original. I never intended to do that.

9970174
Thanks! And as far as every joke not landing (damn, that’s a good one, I should have used that), it is what it is. To be fair, not ever joke in the movie landed either. As far as the story goes, I wanted to steal a few of the better jokes from it but didn’t want to just take all of them, so I threw a few in there and hoped for the best. Glad you liked it!

Well, wasn't this a nice story! :yay:
The only thing I'd suggest is the.. well, the little, tiny things. Like, right toward the beginning:

“Have you ever been on a plane before,” Twilight asked.

It's just a nitpick, but that comma should be a question mark, if Twilight's asking something.
Most every story has these little parts, so they're not a big deal, in the slightest. But they're worth looking for.
Otherwise, the storyline was nicely put, and it was an enjoyable read. Nice work! :twilightsmile:

I.
What did I read?
I swear I got both more amused and stupider with each line break.
That or it's the statue of Nameless the Unnameable.
Either way, have an upvote.
{the doctor joke kinda wore out pretty quickly though }

9998929
Thanks, I’m glad you enjoyed it!

{Well, how else are people going to know he’s a doctor?}

I know JUST where to file this story in my library, so I won't lose or forget about it.

the shelf labeled 'Oh, crap, this is a bad bad idea...'

10042602
I... hope that's a good thing!

10042637
Take a look at the stories in that folder and YOU tell ME.

(hint: it's a good thing, but the ideas are so damn bizarre...)

This has been ranked here

This was the only story that showed up when I searched for "Octavia Vinyl Scratch Braeburn Fiddlesticks". I was looking for an Octavia/Vinyl romcom I had read a few years ago, but instead found something miraculous, something that is a rarity here on fimfiction: a poorly written story.

Mostly intentionally, of course. It was funny at times, but I don't think a spoof like this works very well in text. The dialogue between characters comes off really stiff and awkward. (There is an author on this site, Aragon, who I think manages to balance comedy and interesting dialogue. You might take a few pointers from their work.)

Overall, it was an exasperating read. More of a nod to Airplane! than a story that can stand on its own right.

“Ah mean that it can’t be described,” Daring said. “We can't figure out what it is because we can only describe it in terms of what it isn’t.”

Sounds a lot like SCP-055!

“What happened,” Lyra asked.

Questions have question marks. I wouldn't have mentioned it, but there are way too many of these for them to be simple typos.

"What happened?" Lyra asked.

"What happened?" asked Lyra.

Sniff. I want my damn romcom.

10123453
That's fair This story was more of me just saying 'fuck it, throw everything you've got at the wall and use whatever sticks.' And not even all of it stuck. It's a fucking stupid story. I'm not ashamed to admit that.

As for the typos, I thought I fixed them all already. Oh well, to the editing board we go.

Were you thinking of this fic?

10123465
Didn't mean to rain on your parade.

*cough*

Stupid isn't always bad. I think I took your story a bit more seriously than was intended.

Were you thinking of this fic?

No, not that. After tirelessly searching the Octavia x Vinyl Scratch shipping folder (it was on the first page (T_T) ), I found it! Fiddlesticks!

Cheerio, ol' chap.

10124629
No worries. I didn't take this story seriously when I wrote it either, but I do agree that it's hard to do visual gags in a written story, so I don't consider this to be anywhere near as good as Airplane!.

Oh, the OG Fiddlesticks story! I love that one. Braeburn was in it? I don't remember him being there, but it's a great fic nonetheless.

The joke density is off the charts, and it was funny! Bit too repetitive near the end though with the doctor. But I was laughing the whole way through.

Question: should I read this first and then watch the movie airplane which I've somehow never seen? Or should I watch airplane and then read this so I get all the references?

11014251

I'd advise neither as this story is pretty bad looking back on it :P

11014335
I mean, have you read my stories???

What did I just read?

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