Not long after moving to Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle has a new experience she was not expecting involving her new friend Pinkie Pie. And while she is open to new experiences, she is still very curious as to how and why this has come to pass. While trying to figure this out, she just might find out new things. About herself, about her friends, and about the puffy haired pink pony on her door step holding a bouquet of flowers.
Set near the end of the first season. After party of one, but before The Best Night Ever. Not a lot of space there, but the season one timeline is a little weird anyway right. My first time writing for Pinkie Pie, so as always creative input is appreciated.
Chapters (8)
Happy Thanksgiving everyone. This is me giving thanks for anyone who's stuck around while I've been somewhat absent. Although it's not a Thanksgiving story in any way, I still hope you all can enjoy it during a foodcoma tonight.
Interesting start. Another term for Pinkie’s movement is pronking by the way.
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Good to know. Probably going to use it too. This story is, hopefully, going to involve a lot of subtext involving character behavior. Thank for the read.
not my most favourite of ships, but this is just so cute so far!
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Not a natural ship for me to work with either. Glad you're liking it so far, and thanks so much for the fav
“Invaliwhat?”
“Invalidate darling. It means if we tell Twilight the nature of the bet it might change the results unfairly.”
“Yeah ah could see how her knowing what we all bet on for her world ending panic might change things.”
“Yes. Still not sure why your bet was that it would be over pears though.”
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What makes that even more funny is that I know a lot of the stories you've read. We both have read some good interpretations of what Twilight's friends and family think of her mental stability and where it leads.
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I’m fond of the Ponyville Exclusion Zone one.
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“Probably… six months later, you’d be imprisoned in stone, or dead, while Discord, Nightmare Moon, and the Dark Queen Twilight Sparkle ruled over Equestria with iron hooves and claw.”
“You've thought about this before,” Celestia noted grimly. Shining Armor simply shrugged.
“If I may be blunt, Princess Celestia, I don’t think either of us have any illusions about our sisters’ mental stability, or lack thereof."
Years later due to circumstances too complicated to delve into at this time an experimental spell designed to eliminate the effects of restoration magic was cast at the site of the golden oaks library, the resulting hole in the ground broke through to the inner core of the planet leading to geothermal activity that has since been designated as S006.
The large basalt edifice that was somehow erected around the area has been designated as P17832.
Seriously though, nice chapter, seems like Pinkie might have more neurosis concerning this particular subject that Twilight.
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Oh, I'm sure it's just Pinkie Pie being Pinkie Pie. Don't worry about it
Shame I somehow missed this chapter going up. Very cute. Wonder if her parents or Cadence was in on the bet.
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Oh you demented a-hole. Now I gotta try to work something like that in.
Btw that might have happened because I accidentally hit publish early, unpublished, finished my edit, and put it back up a few hours later. I did notice that it seemed like nobody has read this chapter.
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Least in my case it didn’t even show up in my Tracking section.
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Yup, sounds like I broke something. Thanks for confirming
I’ve never really understood the logic behind the three date thing. It just seems so remarkably arbitrary.
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Truly. I know we as humans, and by extension our pony creations, do a lot of arbitrary stuff simply for the sake of, "that's how everyone does it".
Cute, though I can definitely see it being a bit awkward for Twilight. I had a roommate in Germany when I was in the army who was dating a 'lady of the night' there, and alot of people from the base frequented places like that. While this is not on the same level, I have to wonder, with Twilight's overactive mind, just how often she passes by ponies in Ponyville and wonders what they did with Pinkie, how far they got,etc. I suppose it is not Twi's business, but she DOES tend to overthink.
The background FS being interested in Dash and Rarity picking up on it was amusing. I think FS has her work cut out for her though from the looks of things.
It is a good decision. Prancing downstairs is cuter than acting like a slinky, though I bet Pound and Pumpkin prefer the pronking more.
I cannot imagine trying to write with a phone, annoying enough just talking to someone on Discord with one, frigging autocorrect is the worst.
What makes me interested is if this applies to herself as well, like, a month or two ago, did she make a 'me and Twilight are a couple!' party plan and forget about it, or did Pinkie ask her the same day she realized that she had written it down? Hmmmm....
Occasional error here and there, but nothing too major. I blame your phone.
I feel this line does not get used enough on dates.
I wouldn't even be doing it for the cake, I'd just want to see what is involved. Especially if it is Twilight sneakily trying to get desserts. She breaks into places in the cutest of ways.
Hmm, I wonder if this is what Pinkie mentions in the next chapter or two;being too much of herself around others to expect them to stay with her.
A good chapter, loved the dessert place especially. All you can eat is definitely a bad idea when ponies like Pinkie exist, though I am sure Twilight is happy to know that even Pinkie has a limit and that shop almost managed to reach it.
Aaaaaand now Twi is getting into the Ponyville betting scene. I feel two months is not a bad guess considering how hard it will be to get RD to realize any actual interest in Fluttershy beyond great friends, and Shy's horrid attempts at asking. She is probably just happy that RD is going to go to dinner with her regardless of how it came about.
Looking forward to seeing what Pinkie is talking about, like, IS she holding back much at all? Is the way Twilight wants to help Pinkie act actually not Pinkie either, or is Pinkie just overthinking the entire thing? Will Pinkie's list become so long that it hits the library and Twilight tracts down the source like a blood hound?
So many questions to be answered in the future.
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Wow. Not even gonna try to hide that this made me practically giddy to wake up to first thing in the morning. I've seen when people do comments like this when they really like a story but it's never happened for me. Thanks so much for the breakdown of all these little things you liked, made my day. Give me a minute and I'll respond to each individually.
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As you obviously learn later, both are probably over thinking it. Maybe it'll be the thing that ultimately makes their relationship successful, shared neuroses.
Pronking is already an interesting way of traversing, so adding some kind of unusual tendencies as to when she would do it might further ponies quirkiness. "Wait, why did you stop pronking?"
"Why would I pronk down stairs?"
"So prancing it's better for stairs?"
"I would think that would be obvious."
Some random non-sequitur like this is something I imagine being frequent for Pinkie.
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I always like the idea of Pinkie's nearly omniscient ways being something she has no real control over. I've seen way to many Pinkie stories where they make her too randomly all knowing for it to be any real fun. This is my first time writing for Pinkie because she does represent a unique challenge in walking that balance of quirky random but also very kind and very smart when she wants to be..
And btw, not to spoil but, she remembers exactly when she wanted to ask Twilight out. And it might be involved in the next chapter.
Also don't buy a Z4. My z2 was so much better. Did you see my rant on chapter 4 of why she serves.
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It was only a temporary limit, as their implied cake espionage later shows. (No skin tight jumpsuits this time.)
I've seen some stories were it is heavily implied that Pinkie's personality would make her very flirty. And while I like that idea, having a reputation like that could work against someone in other situations.
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I suddenly wish I could have found a way to put in a completely random scene. Twilight suddenly having a Twilight scene sense. Ear twitch, trail flick, knee pinch. "Somepony just unfurled a longer checklist then me. Spike! Were going to quills and sofas! I need scrolls and tape, now!"
Also I'm a flutterdash fan at heart
Also also, kinda realized while doing this that you really have been leaving me comments like this for a bit I guess. I think this means I've truly made it as a fanfic writer. No probably not, but it does mean there are some awesome people reading my work. And thanks for including this and prom protector amongst your good romance.
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Happy to know I made your morning.
Hmm, seen more of that on Twi's side, but I suppose we are in her mind more than Pinkie's. Twilight panics alot through the chapters, Pinkie tends to talk to Gummy and feel bad when it seems appropriate, like getting them kicked out of the bakery.
Hard to beat Twilight on being neurotic though.
Yes, exactly what Pinkie needs, more quirks.
But yeah, Pinkie can be a tricky character to keep amusing and zany, but not stupid. She's well done here, though alot of those features feel very toned down on her dates, which is why I can understand if she is not fully being herself and keeping herself under wraps when around Twilight right now.
Same, she just tends to know what it means through experience. Her example of knowing to start prepping for a RD x FS party just made me wonder if she also predicted her own this way. I suppose it might be a power that doesn't tell her every event to celebrate that happens in Ponyville, but her reveal about her predictions in this can make you think that way atm.
Nope, I was never very interested in Tempest as a character, she didn't appeal to me like the Dazzlings and some other one-shot villains have.
Ah, must admit, the immediate paragraph after them talking about doing the cake thing having them go to bed made me unsure if they actually did it at all. The amount of sugar and mass Pinkie can consume is scary.
I like the idea of it, but it needs to work with the story you are doing. Pinkie's main rep is a party pony, she's a social butterfly but that doesn't mean she necessarily has to be very flirty at all.
Heh, too much time in physical contact with Pinkie and it starts to bleed into Twilight. Wouldn't be the most surprising thing about Pinkie's powers.
I'm a fan of most romances involving Fluttershy, if your Tempest story had Fluttershy as her love interest I would likely have read it by now.
If you really like one character in a ship, then that can keep the other person they are partnered with interesting as well. I am okay with AJ, but she needs someone I like alot to usually try a story when she is involved. Pinkie and FS tend to be the two of the mane six I search for when I need something new.
Eh, your a good writer, you just seem to be very bad at getting your fics seen by a large audience so they look underrated. I would advise you to get each of your stories into at least ten groups when you bring them out to help some on that. Smitten is only in two at the moment so I can see that as one reason people have missed it.
NP, Show Business is among the more elite group of best Trixie ships I have found. I've likely read every Trixie ship story on fimfic to date, it's my thing.
For Prom Protector, it was a good story, no real issues I just didn't have much to comment on. It was competent, but didn't stand out in any major way, I suppose? Not a bad thing at all, it was just very by the numbers for the theme the story took.
Greatest Fear was more unique despite the obvious reason FS wanted to go through with that ordeal. Mind you, all of this is just one person's opinion.
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Still, I'm a bit of an attention whore, but not in such a way that I intentionally seek out attention. When I get it, I love it. But I'm so self conscious that I'd feel like I was fishing for compliments if I tried to get them recognition. For now it's fine, comments like yours make it fun for me to write.
This is really in two different groups. I really wish people would tell me when they put my stories in groups so I can think then. The only stories I've put in groups for myself was the two I did for a contest, which are currently two of my least viewed
Is that 'madly in love with Rainbow Dash but too scared to do anything' Fluttershy and 'turned down by literally the entire town' Pinkie Pie I see? This is interesting indeed.
Also I believe 'indeed' is one word.
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Of course not, Pinkie Pie is just being Pinkie Pie again. And why would Fluttershy be in love with Rainbow Dash, clearly they are completely different ponies who couldn't possibly work if they were a couple.
Also not sure where that was but I fix it, thanks
Flutter x Dash is inevitable, it's a universal law, to try and prevent it is futile. It may take time, but it is the only achievable outcome in all things.
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If you go by my stories anyway. Three are openly Flutterdash, three more have it on some level on the side. I slip into character for writing for Rainbow almost too instinctively. They are just so much fun to ship. Thank for another fav btw.
This is great! Looking forward to the follow chapter
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Thanks so much, for the comment and the fav. Working on a chapter to another story right now, but hopefully you won't have to wait too long.
You likely confused 'disperse' with 'disburse'.
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Got it. That was a good catch. Thanks for the help and thanks for reading.
Well that was awesome. Very well done.
Thanks for writing Smitten, I enjoyed reading it.
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Glad you enjoyed it. Thanks again for the fav
You know, I like that it's implied Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash got together, but at the same time, a little flatout confirmation wouldn't hurt.
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I have a lot more FlutterDash if you're looking for it
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Well, that's why I'm following you. Hope there will be more coming soon.
I must admit that it scares me a little in this chapter, I do not say that it would have been a bad ending that Twilight ended with pinkie seriously, it would have been interesting and very moving, in addition to identifying many other people, but in the end I discovered that it was all a plan of Twilight to propose to pinkie, so I was very happy, well done, you managed to scare me, good job writing this, it was a great story.
Me reading this chapter up until this point: no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
Me the next paragraph later:
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This wasn't one of my most popular stories and it was a little difficult to write, but for me it was worth finishing just for this scene. Thanks so much for reading and for including it among your liked stories
Not one, but two crying Raritys, I am honored
Thanks so much everyone for getting another one of my stories to 1000 views. Makes me so happy to see
A friend said this was one of her favorite twipie fics and I decided to check it out as I have a major soft spot for this ship. That friend was so entirely correct, this is one of the absolute best fics I've read ever!! You really understand these characters and how they interact and affect each other!! Masterful work, great dialog, utter perfection!!
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Thank you so much, and thanks so much for the fav as well. This story didn't get the widest reception when it first came out, but that's OK because it means the comments I get all always genuine ones like this. I had fun writing it story, but also some trouble. But if it made you smile, it's all worth it and then some.
Missing comma and the sentence in general is strange, "What do you need, Twilight?"
For your first time writing Pinkie, this is good.