Twilight loves sleepovers, but they never go as smoothly as she would like. There’s always one thing or another: her friends bicker the night away, she sees or hears something that makes her brain shutdown, or (Sweet Celestia!) somepony gets a hoof to the face!
Are the Elements of Harmony actually falling apart? If so, how come everypony seems all smiley and happy the morning after?
Well, that’s something she may need to figure out...
[This is a love story told in a series of sleepovers.]
Rated Teen for mentions of alcohol intoxication and steamy making out.
Many thanks to SleepIsforTheWeak and war10ck111 for proofreading and nudging me in the right direction. Cookies for y'all <3
Chapters (2)
Saw this in the New Stories list and decided to give it a try. Good stuff so far! Please consider adding it to some groups. You'll get far more exposure and people will know a little more what to expect from the story. Looking forward to more chapters!
4005630
Thank you so much. I'm very glad you enjoyed it.
Actually, I didn't even think about groups before you mentioned them.
So I thank you for that suggestion as well. I'll so do that.
Next chapter will be at least 20% cooler. Please look forward to it.
LOL, that last line!
4005701 I actually considered editing it out, but it was too funny to let go.
Thanks very much for reading!
4005717 *nods* You are welcome.... keep the Chapters coming!
4005720
4005722
Will do. Please look forward to more soon~♫
4005729 Good.... if you don't.... guess who's number I will draw~
4005666 I demand more incredibly awkward Raripie sexual tension!
OMGOMGOMGOMG It's Steel Resolve, I'm such a huge huge fan, I'm totally fangirling so much right now, I could totally explode more than twice. *inhale* *exhale* *breathe, cheesecake, breathe!*
goodness.
Ahem.
4005902
Thank you so much for reading my story. It's such an honor! I'm overjoyed, er, quite happy you enjoyed it. And yes, I shall do my utmost best to deliver more
I'm sorry, I didn't like this at all. If Rarity wanted to keep it a secret as badly as the story would have me believe, she would either run away crying or actually be upset with Pinkie. As it stands, her reaction doesn't really feel like Rarity.
Pinkie appears to be a heartless bitch; telling the others about something Rarity isn't comfortable with even though she knows that Rarity doesn't want her to.
Twilight herself feels a little hars: taking away borrowing priveliges because of a knocked away book ? And yelling for the others to 'stop it before it got out of hand' but when has it ever? By which I mean: What is she basing that on?
You might also want to look into tense changes. In the sentence above it should 'it was' and 'there was' rather than the shorthand which naturally mean 'it is' and 'there is' (There are a few more but I think you get the idea)
After all is said and done however; your writing good and the story is defenitely readable. Keep it up.
4006420 Thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry you didn't like it, but I greatly appreciate the comment you left. Most especially the part about Rarity's and Pinkie's characterizations. That left me feeling so giddy, I'm literally dancing in my bed right now because it meant I'm doing something very right. There's a reason they're acting like that, and I hope you would consider reading the next chapters when I publish them to see how it turns out.
I also thank you for bringing my attention to the tense changes. It's one of the things in English that I often have trouble catching. I'll be more careful about it.
4007219
Them acting out of character isn't a plus if the story hasn't given the reader an explanation for it yet. Unless you're writing a mystery novel (which I highly doubt) It's better if the character's reasoning is clear.
4007259 Noted. Thank you for taking the time to tell me what you think.
This is hilarious.
Just keep writing.
Well, if those are the words that Twilight said to the others, there is really nothing to read into for sexual harassment. She didn't say who initiated it, and using those words it would seem like she is initiator of the kiss.
Hey there Cheesecake I love this story so far, maybe you should add a comedy tag cause it seems like there's going to be a lot more of it in this story. Maybe it's just me but I have trouble thinking of Rainbow Dash as being cute.
4007702
Will do.
Much thanks.
4008950
Um, there's this thing where it doesn't matter who initiated it or if it's mutually consensual... if an adult engages in the act with a minor, it's considered harassment. Although I think it's referring to more sexual acts than kissing.
Anyway, thank you for reading!
4009526
I'm glad you enjoyed it! About the comedy tag... I'll think about it. Thank you for bringing it up. As for the Dash, I always saw her as a bit tsundere, which is always adorable when done right. Hopefully I got it down.
*pulls up a seat*
Well I can't wait to see where this is going.
4009597 Tsundere? Please forgive my ignorance but I've never seen that word until now, and I'm a bit lost.
4009633
The Tsundere is a person or character may act all mean but they care or have a soft spot that they cover with a said mean/tough persona. Usually in regard to a lover. Urban dictionary might help more in defining it.
4009771 Oh! thank you for clearing that up for me man the new things I've been learning since I registered.
4009614 Thank you for reading! Please look forward to more soon.
4009820 Oh, I apologize for not defining the term.
It's Japanese, which may be why you've never seen it before. I study the language and I came from a myriad of anime/manga fandoms, so such terms tend to seep in my everyday language. 4009771 's definition is more or less correct.
4010437 That's ok Cheeseacke I've heard a lot of japanese words do to the amount of anmie and video games I've delt with, but I can't really speak japanese which is something I would like to do. You should definately keep up the lighthearted pace of this story it suits it very well.
This was cute, but why do I get the feeling that Twilight was just referring to a kiss on the cheek or something?
Can't wait for more.
4017221 Well, it could've been one.
At that age, I imagine Celestia could've given Twilight a thimble and the little filly would think it's a kiss.
Thank you for reading! Chapter 2 will be up soon. Please look forward to it
Never seen that phrase as an acronym before... So easy to see that Rarity and AJ have some explaining to do.
4108129 Oh, BSOD?
ehehe, the things I learn from the internet... And I'm glad that part was clear. 
Whoa Cheescake why'd you have to go traumatize my mare like that? I honestly was laughing though, but I personally thought that it would have been better if Twily had caught Rarity and Applejack on the table together, imagine the epic level akwardness of that!
4108192 Wanna know a secret? I love it when ponies go a little crazy.
And yeah, that would be incredibly awkward, not to mention hilarious! Thanks for that thought. 
4108209 You're gonna use that sometime, aren't you? Happy to be of help.
4108274 Maybe. Maybe not. We'll see.
It helps that I like RariJack, too.
4108278 I've got to say Cheesecake that I'm grateful to you for being a decent human being and reminding me that I'm not the only one.
And I love your writing style, please don't change your lighthearted style there are to few functional comedies on this site.
4108283 Aww, shucks, you're making me blush.
Thanks so much. That means a lot to me 'cause I'm kinda new to writing humor.
4108302 WHAT? I wow you can't well I can't tell you do it so, naturally, like it's nothing to you to do it. If you keep acting like that I might blush too.
4108310 I, um, yeah.
Honestly, this is the first comedy fic I feel I could be proud of and I wasn't even sure about adding the [comedy] tag until I was halfway done with Chapter 2.
Er, I'm turning into a Fluttershy now, so I'll leave you with another Thanks! and some Pie.
4108345 Well you're certainly being Fluttershy brand cute there Cheesecake.
Did I see some appledash here? and PinkieDash? or it just me? next chapter pĺease!
What does BSOD mean?
4109253 Yes.
your username~
Thank you very much for reading! And can I just say, I
4109253 BSOD stands for Blue Screen of Death, which is what you see when your computer crashes.
4109309 that makes sense!
4109271 thanks!
It's an alright story. Decently written, but feels a little bit fast paced (maybe you were going for that...) I'm not one for romances, but I have an inkling of a feeling that, when things go further along, there's going to be a massive love hexagon, and Twilight is going to be a good 10x more confused than she when she woke up with that hangover. Either that, or this is all just an elaborate prank to be pulled on Twilight...
Never the less, it's a good start... not exactly my cup of tea, but hey, different strokes and whatnot...
4118842 Oh, thank you so much for checking this out!
Um, yes, the events were mostly meant to happen that fast. But if you meant something else...
4122139 Actually, no, I wasn't really meaning something else. I'm fully aware that it's established that Rarity and Pinkie have likely been seeing each other for quite a while in secret, so I doubt it was going too fast in that regard.
Never the less, considering that's how fast your intending the story to be, just make sure you leave sensory breaks every now and then so that the reader can drink in the situation at hand, and keep the pacing consistant (or, at least if you intend to slow it down or speed it up, have the pacing gradual on either side...)
That's my two cents, though. Purely optional. : )
I have read your first chapter and I must say that I like it.
You are capable of making a story interesting even without using any outside environment or event. Your dialogue is strong. You’re good at AJ and Rarity’s talk patterns (which I envy you btw).
AJ’s kiss story was a bit generic (probably intentionally as a slow build up), but I really liked the other three kiss stories. Very original.
My comment ends here.
Now I will proceed with throwing up some random words in this comment. This is a bad habit of mine. I do this every time I read a story. Please just ignore the following random text.
It doesn’t say what kind of a party. Presumably it’s a regular party then? But those rules don’t hold true for regular parties.
Who said that?
What was the question?
pegasus’s
Why does AJ get to say who to start with?
Edit: I reread the name of the game. I now have a theory, that a bottle marked pony asks a question, then everypony or everypony except the marked one answers.
Did Twy say this. If yes, then action tag could be in same line for clarification.
on page?
Who said that?
I’m thinking RD. Not sure, though.
Edit: nvm. You explained it in next line.
So not on Fluttershy? Or not on herself? There’s a third pegasus in the room?
remark?
Utter aloud; often with surprise, horror, or joy
I’m thinking horror. So, apparently Twy was horrified by all this?
partner? Nvm, I’m not good at accents and this is probably an accent thing.
who said that? What thing is with Rarity?
Who said that? So before that, Pinkie said that? What did Pinkie promise? Have missed something?
There was an outburst of something? Did I miss it?
Not sure why she did that.
Was she always like that or just now?
I’m guessing her is Rarity. Not sure who the certain pony is or why she wore a dark make up or why else her cheeks would turn dark.
So, somepony said, that Pinkie didn’t promise. And Pinki quotes that pony. Doesn’t she know whether she promiced or not?
I thought her was Rarity. But then Rarity is a comparison. So who is her. Pinkie Pie? So Pinkie Pie was imitating Rarity?
Okay, so I’m assuming Rarity and Pinkie made out. Not sure, though.
Not sure if this is legit expression.
I can relate to them. there’s a lot of processing needed for comprehension of meanings. However, I assume they weren’t silent before this. They were making some kind of noise before? Were they talking amongst each other?
What was there to see, besides Rarity being dramatic like she always is?
Wait, so Rarity was a pedophile? She wasn’t making up with Pinkie Pie but some filly? So, this is why she always gets stiff around Sweetie Belle. It totally makes sense now. Oh, Rarity, you deviant.
I like this. I have Trixie make the same quote. Her plea doesn’t stop Twy from testing out Vibe 9000 on her, though. :)
Yey, my theory confirmed.
I’m assuming they came from Fluttershy. Not sure, though.
I’m assuming half of her is on top of Fluttershy and half of her is on the floor. Not sure, though. Also not sure, if merging with Fluttershy is a good way to hide embarrassment. I’d think it’s an embarrassment in the making.
So, she doesn’t want Pinkie to talk?
I am now assuming that Pinkie is evil and when someone begs her not to do something she does exactly that out of spite. Go Pinkie!
I’m assuming they were studying alphabet at the time and since letters were neighboring, they also had to be. Not sure, though.
I’m assuming Rarity is having some trouble with pronunciation. Not sure, though.
Can you beat something if you achieve it at the same time?
I’m now assuming that Pinkie has spent to much time with Trixie.
Not sure what mac stands for.
trusted?
So, the ball wasn’t really important in this game?
I’m assuming she was trying to molest Rarity. That, or actually getting the ball from her. Not sure who the pegasus is. Also, pegasus’s I think.
I didn’t caught any scrutinizing, though.
So, she was being threatening? ‘Yes, well, either way,’ doesn’t sound like it, though.
It was hard enough to do it. But did she actually make a hole in the ground? If yes, then you could just say she made a hole. It would be logical that it was hard enough if it succeeded at making a hole.
Somepony is flirting? I thought they were telling a story from like 10 years ago.
I’m assuming she’s bored and in danger of falling asleep.
She yawned?
Why is she bored? I thought it was an interesting story. Much better than what she told us.
Who said that?
She knew this was coming. Didn’t she have like 5 minutes to think about this? Well, maybe this is like her. It’s like not caring about the test she had the next day, then suddenly starting to care. It’s canon.
I think a look would suffice.
will never?
juicy of a secret?
Also, who said that?
Who said that?
I thought you were referring to her hiding behind her friends, but now I’m thinking you must be referring to something completely different. Probably to what she does in the show
When I think of prisms I don’t think of them as rainbow colored. I think of them as prism shaped object that can be used to form a rainbow on a surface of some other object that is not a prism. Also, I don’t think the color of her hair has any effect to her hiding behind it.
What didn’t she have? Who’s talking btw? Since this voice from above is repeating I’m going to assume that whenever it isn’t clear who is speaking I can just assume that the first person character is speaking. It’s the only theory I have so far.
So, she’s mad because Rainbow said she isn’t easy? Does she have a dream of becoming a whorse or something?
I didn’t find it that ambiguous. What exactly is she asking? What options are there for interpreting that?
So am I.
I was picturing her laying under Rarity. I will now assume that she’s standing.
Why is she asking the questions if she’s already assuming the answers?
So, It was an accident? If not, then how could she not mean to do it? Was she possessed by something? Doesn’t one always do what one wants to do unless one has an accident. I’ll just assume she’s lying here.
This is from Twilight’s perspective, right? How does she know this? To telly I think. If it showed on her face, than say her face gave off that information. As it is it’s: This is so and so and besides it being obvious it also shows on her face. It isn’t obvious to Twilight. She can only see her face. That’s the only source she has.
I’m not telling you how I’m picturing this in my mind.
I don’t see that much to talk about. Unless there is a whole clop scene behind this. Yes, you see, Rainbow is a hard sleeper and Fluttershy just wanted to test how hard she sleeps. Yes, and then Fluttershy reached with her hoof between RD’s hind legs and RD moaned, but she didn’t wake up. Fluttershy pushed deeper…
Oh, back to the story!
I’m assuming you’re saying this. But you’re assuming Twy’s perspective, so Twy is thinking that? But she isn’t thinking that, because then it would be italicised. I’ll just assume that god said it.
Do tell Twy, do tell! :)
You sure that was the only flood you felt, Twy? :)
Celestia?
Definitely Celestia.
Yey, I guessed it. Why is she so hang up on being a filly at that time. Is she having remorse? Is she trying to make Molestia look like a pedophile?
I’m thinking yes, but I’m also thinking opposite of what AJ is thinking. Can we both be right?
Is 3 a lot?
The question going through my mind is: Why did Twy ask the first kiss question? Obviously she wanted to tell it. She must have a hard time processing it or something. Or she’s angry at Celestia. What are you up to, Twy? Maybe I’ll get my answers in the next chapter.
Also, Twy must have been really captivated by all this since she forgot to look in Sleepovers: A Complete Reference Guide. She even just let the book on the floor. Or maybe it’s still levitating in the air where we last saw it. Not sure.
Also, you should write for the show. They never invite Spike to anything either. :)
4125410 Noted. Thank you very much.
4203270 Thank you very much. I'm glad you liked it. To be honest, I was and still am struggling with AJ's speech patterns because of her accent, so it means a lot to me that you think I did it well.
I also liked your um, live commentary. It was funny and it made me think. Took note of a lot of stuff you brought up there. Thank you again.
The theme and the atmosphere in the second chapter stayed true to those in first one. Juicy intimate secrets. You can never go wrong with that.
The speech patterns were also much better done than in first chapter. I could almost always understand who is talking. My comment ends here.
And now to my live commentary, that everypony loves to hate. This is much worse than what I did for the first chapter. When I say you shouldn’t read the following lines, I really mean it this time. What I’m about to write is just a bunch of unwarranted subjective and sarcastic masturbation with no hint of constructivism whatsoever.
Where are these rules at the beginning of the chapters coming from? Twilight’s book? If yes, then apparently she doesn’t mind things being used against her according to the things she said in chapter 1. Also, what does number 12 mean. Is it just a random number or are these rules an actual thing and I’m just not nerd enough to know them? And again, these aren’t rules to parties I’m familiar with.
Hm, I need to reread the last part of the first chapter to see if I missed something, because this doesn’t seem to make any sense to me. Brb.
Back. Still not making sense. Lets just get past this point.
Maybe I really should look at things as a whole instead of picking on individual sentences. It would save me the trip to the first chapter. Hm… No.
I didn’t get that. I’m assuming there is some intoxication involved due to ‘til we drop’ phrase. Also, double use of the word party.
sprawled is a verb so it shouldn’t need any support.
So, she head a headache, but then she woke up from it and no longer had it? Also not sure if alcohol alone can make you sweat so much (they aren’t even wearing any clothes (I assume)).
I assume that is some sort of tea.
I get the sweat now.
attempt to
So, did she want to go? If yes, then doesn’t she have a problem on her hooves?
With that much orientation and thural knowledge of the layout intact it really is a mistery. I assumed she was lost due to bad orientation, but now I’m just going to assume she was just drifting, not caring where she ends up, which is kind of weird, since she had an explicit goal in her mind.
I’m assuming now is a present tense from the point in time where Twilight is telling the story. We haven’t heard anything about the present time, so this is our first clue. Future holds no Fluttershy. Also, how does Twy know where Fluttershy sleeps before she enters the room?
I understand jaw lowering, but why would a jaw begin to clutter?
Wouldn’t she recognise them by this point?
What exactly did she grind with, since she lacks the proper tools as she is but a mare?A white hoof braced against the wood as she went further down the pink mare.You go, Rarity! Work that Pinkie Pie!
Also, yes, Twilight, there’s nothing wrong with watching your friends have sex without them knowing it. Not freaky at all.
I’m thinking the whole pony was Pinkie Pie and not just her voice. She must have already recognised her. How many pink ponies are there in the mane 6? She’s already seen her cutie mark. I’ll just assume that recognition part of Twilight’s brain is still drunk.
Huskier than Rarity’s? But she’s the huskiest pony out there. The level of huskiness just went over the scale.
i36.photobucket.com/albums/e42/RavenHiwatari/Over9000.gif
Unless she was going for the somersault I’ll assume she used her forehooves to get off the table. Her forehooves were in about the middle of the table, since she used them to go down on Pinkie Pie. So, how does a table topple if you push against it in the middle of it? I guess it takes a lot of husk to do something like that.
Edit: Nvm. Table is just fine. It’s wasn’t Rarity that toppled off the table. It was Rarity that toppled off of the table. I think.
Ponies don’t blink as often as humans, but, Twilight, you really should blink more often than once per morning. Unless this was a reflex closing of the eyelids due to… flying table?
I’m assuming it was just her head that was upside down. Unless the table really did topple.
Right side of her body or something else? Her head was no longer upside down now, but down upside?
Has she used up Rarity and is now looking for a substitute? How exactly does one eagerly watch something?
Don’t mind the sex. Lets observe Twilight with her cluttering jaw instead.
Yes, lets pretend to have sex behind closed doors, while everypony is unconscious. Maybe eventually somepony will stumble on us. And maybe that someone will be Twilight that we elaborately tried to prank in the first place. Yes, this scheme is foolproof.
I didn’t know they make fires for Hearth’s Warming Eve. And now I know.
That’s right, Twilight. Blink! You can do it.
Seeing the aftermath, but must have missed the action itself.
Don’t fret Twy, there’s more stuff you can try. Close your eyes and spin around. Look in the mirror. Turn on the light. Look at your watch. Use telekinesis without using your horn. Fly without using your wings. Walk through a solid wall.
Nothing worked? Hm, maybe, just maybe, this whole morning wasn’t a dream. Just a hunch, though.
But wasn’t Rarity the one in shock? She is the huskiest after all.
I’m always struggling with when there is no action or dialogue tag. I’m guessing Pinkie said that, but then again, Twilight was very observant also, watching the whole scene unfold without blinking. I have a theory that I will know who said that by reading the next paragraph, though.
White hoof… So Rarity? Rarity said to Rarity? Note to self, don’t look at next paragraph to explain who said something.
I’m assuming verbally. Or maybe, it was orally? Yes, with such a loose action I have enough freedom for my imagination to make this into my private head canon clop scene.
That dirty, ey? Maybe we’ve breached another scale (not the husky one this time).
Don’t blink now, Twylight. You need to see this.
That’s some mighty hangover cure you have there. You could make millions.
There goes my hypothesis that you can make tea from willow bark. Apparently water is the liquid of choice for Twilight and willow bark can be consumed on its own.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-grtTlYaqNFI/UOZkwgq4TaI/AAAAAAAADQ8/RqL37t9__Cw/s1600/Dragon_Ball_Kai-1.jpg
Yes, Twilight. Explain why you blinked. Don’t mind the sex scene that apparently does not need explaining. Explain yourself instead.
>Observantly watches (without blinking)
>Freaks out way after“Now, Twilight, please do not freak out on us before I could expl--”
“She looks fine to me!”
“Pinkie Pie, another word and I might just hit you.”Pinkie Pie, how dare you suggest that Twilight looks fine. That suggestion is somehow offensive and should be punishable by physical harm.
I’m guessing ~♫ stands for *** since we have teen rating and this was supposed to be such an obscenity that no mature person should hear. That or she started to sing out of nowhere for no reason whatsoever. She’s Pinkie, so it could be that.
I’ve read that as one expression. Maybe ‘amusement that subject’ could work better. Otherwise, nice. Glad to see Twilight's brain is waking up to her old self. :)
Would that facehoof be directed on Pinkie Pie? Facehooves are usually delivered to one self, so the question arises: Is Twilight attempting to facehoof herself due to increase perplexity of the two subjects?
It’s long, but it does make sense. You have to read it twice, but it does make sense. Haven’t seen that sentiment before, though. Are we transitioning into another clop scene? I’m thinking treesom!
Maybe you should take an active part in all this, Twy. You know, to determine the existence of sentiment thingy.
to let a chance, to make up for lost research, slip by.
Oh, Spike was finally invited to something? Why would he be carrying a parchment to a party? Also, does the need for something and a mental question arise in the same sentence in one’s mind?
I really need to stop doing live commentaries and do I need to go pie?
Ugh, I can’t paralel think for shit. Not sure if Twilight is doing it parallel, but as unconnected as it is I’ll just assume she can. So that’s how she can read two books at the same time. She has parallel brain. Yes, it all makes sense now.
Just don’t blink.
If she was focusing at those two, then how did she managed to see it?
You got that from a pogo stick? Also, lets ignore the whole sex thing again. Now, dating, that’s, the big news now.
I’m thinking Rarity is coursing due to her huskiness?
Oh, so those two weren’t bickering among themselves, but were in fact trying to work out who gets to be the one to explain things? If they haven’t been able to do that before, then I’m not sure if saying that they should work it out would actually get them closer to working it out.
And Twilight just learned that she is not a center of attention and that her statement helped nopony.
How do you explain the pogo stick then?
<- That’s how one facehoofs oneself btw.
Oh, wait, I think I’m getting it now. There is no pogo stick in the room, is there?
Okay, so with the pogo stick out the window, we’re only left with a perfume scent which somehow implies dating. It’s a bit more implying than the pogo stick, but I still can’t make the connection.
Picture this. You’re with your girlfriend and you meet a common friend. Then you say, “This girl here apparently loves me.”
What do you think your girlfriends reaction would be? I think you’re right to expect bickering. I’m not sure it’s going to be about the definition of a relationship, though.
So, dating is a no, no, but loving is okay? Oh, I know what’s going on. This is turning Rarity on and she’s just about to have enough of foreplay.
They must both be non-verbal-communication masters to pull of something like this.
Yes, that could explain it also.
On Pinkie’s side perhaps, but what on the Rarity’s side?
For a second there I thought that hooves were about to face me and I was in for a facehooves of extra-self origins.
Do tell.
*
Or not. It was deducible, especially since Pinkie already confessed on her side. Unless there was more to it? Rarity did say ‘we have a confession’.
I can’t imagine how that was for Twilight. It’s like walking out of the cinema in the middle of an action scene with only comfort that the movie will come on television in a few months anyway and you’ll be able to watch the fight scene unfold then.
Twilight, you have more information than any other pony and you had the most time to think about it. Aren’t you supposed to be smart?
Jealous much?
Jealous to much.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tD4q3leE5Uw
I’m thinking there are no seats at this table. So where was Rarity sitting before? On the floor?
Also, when you say hooves I’m thinking forehooves. It’s easier that way so you don’t have to say I forehoovefaced. But those aren’t forehooves planted on the floor, are they. They are hind hooves.
Does being ashamed of someone lead to not be deserving on one or is RD making two separate points that have no relationship with each other?
If they were both keeping it a secret, does that mean that they were both ashamed of each other (from RD point of view)?
If she likes stallions and she also likes Pinkie Pie, isn’t that more of a praise? (Only stallions and Pinkie Pie can please me.)
If she can perform like a stallion can, than that really is something to be proud of.
Obviously Rainbow Dash’es ‘you’re ashamed of her’ argument has been dealt with, so it’s time to throw in another issue. Shotgun argument ftw, ey RD?
Well, yea, but not because of years of friendship, but because you’ve been found out. Who knows how long this would go on if Twy wouldn’t walk in.
Either Pinkie Pie is that strong to have pulled RD from Fluttershy’s hold or she can take passengers when she breaks the third wall.
As long as you don’t blink, Twy.
Are we in for another Pinkie Pie rape kiss (like the one from first chapter)?
Okay, let’s try to make sense of all of this. When Rarity’s adrenalin levels drop she collapses to the floor. Watching mares kiss sent her to the floor. Maybe RD had a point. Are you sure you even like stallions, Rarity? Maybe your doors swing the other way around since this scene took over you that much? And why is she disapproving? Is she the jealous one now? And what does she mean by messing with ponies’ heads? I thought Pinkie Pie just tried to fix RD’s head.
Did RD just jizz?
Well, you knew she does that. Also better keep an eye on Fluttershy, she might take advantage of you right after. Haven’t you learned anything in chapter 1?
Wait, is Twy gonna be next?
Does playing with ponies’ heads automatically lead to damage? And what does Twy have to do with any of this?
Somepony’s been hanging out with Trixie to much.
It’s not rape anymore when she starts screaming ‘yes’. Same goes for stealing kisses.
And how did CMC get involved with this mature stuff? RD, did you promise them a cutie mark if they help you with something? Was Twy stalking at the window again after they agreed to give it a shot?
The fandom is wrong. RD is not a lesbian. Everypony but RD is a lesbian!
That’s your argument against kissing? Everypony’s here? Weren’t you just the one promoting public relationships?
Are we in for some vore?
So, Twy is an expert in killing ponies? Now I really want to know what happened to CMC.
Yea, it’s not like Pinkie Pie could eat you whole.
img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20110314152016/mlpfanart/images/7/7b/Pinkie_Pie_devouring_a_cake.gif
Forget vore, this is evolving into an all out orgy.
And, we’re back to vore.
How is RD’s bothering connected to Rarity’s minding? Rarity doesn’t mind that RD is being bothered? And you tell Pinkie Pie not to mess with ponies’ heads, Rarity?
This one?
images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26000000/-Rarity-my-little-pony-friendship-is-magic-26049752-2560-1810.png
I’m assuming they all laughed at Rarity. I guess only my head was confused by what she said.
You’re late, Twy, everypony’s already gaping. Get with the trend!
I’m so confused. What did Fluttershy do? The last I saw her she was hiding behind her mane.
Who said that?
Has this been going on since you were fillies? There wasn’t just a kiss from first chapter was there. Rarity, do you have some more explaining to do? I wonder how Pinkie Pie will try to calm RD down after you do. Perhaps a kiss just won’t cut it anymore.
I can relate to you, Twy. I don’t get it either.
Oh, no, Twy is losing her grip on reality.
Kissing Rarity for no romantical reasons (chapter 1), not minding Twy joining the sex scene, kissing RD. I don’t know.
Going out of your way to demonstrate your position after you’ve been called out on it is not the best tactic for winning an argument.
So, there really is more to it than this, isn’t it, Rarity?
In order for Pinkie Pie to steal Rarity’s tongue, she must have ‘received’ it in her mouth. So, who exactly is the criminal in this crime?
Orgy?
Orgy!
After the orgy? You have some pacing issues here. Orgies usually last longer.
What about the ‘We have company’ argument?
incorrigible = Impervious to correction by punishment
BDSM?
Is that the safe word?
Let’s examine the cases, shall we?
Select Case (Pinkie Pie loves Rarity also)
Case True
Twy is happy for both of them.
Case False ‘Their love isn’t mutual because Pinkie Pie doesn’t love Rarity
Twy is happy for both of them.
End Select
Twy, don’t you care about Rarity?
Reorgy?
Reorgy!
But only Twy, in her schizophrenic ravings, and Fluttershy commended you. Generalization much?
Also Spike, again...
Two orgies later, Applejack couldn’t even stand anymore
Oh, so this was indoor? Why was I picturing it outside?
Join the orgy, or the orgy will come to you.
It’s polite to mention others before oneself, but I guess Twy is just to high for that.
Them orgies sure don’t last long.
Yes, making others suffer after you suffered makes it all better.
Is Flutters into vore also?
And you were just stalking everypony like you always seem to be doing, Twy?
I don’t know whether I’m hungry or not?
Wait, is Applejack going to pull a Rainbow Dash? Haven’t we been through this already?
You’re not the only one Pinkie Pie loves, are you, Rarity? Pinkie Pie loves everypony. Literally.
Also, that was the last line of the chapter and I still don’t know what BSOD means.
4249236 I have trouble scrolling down your comments.
You wrote more here than I ever wrote on my stories!
4289325 Hello. Please forgive my friend Dragor here. He did that on my request for feedback.
;;;
4382510
Pinkie is such a joy to write and I'm glad you loved my take on her (and the banter that ensued). 
Thank you very much for your review! I greatly appreciate it, and I'm so happy you loved reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it.
I'm sorry to say that the next chapter is still far from being complete. On top of real life getting in the way, Chapter 3 is huuuuge and I can't split it due to my chosen format of 1 chapter = 1 sleepover. I estimate it would more than double my word count once I get to publish it; it's that long. Upside is there's more story to read once I get it done.
Oh, and about what you said here 4382513 ...do you really want to know the answer to that?