The Lone Wolf of Equestria

by JNKing

Chapter 20: The Lone Wolf Leaves Equestria

The chirping of birds roused Logan from the coma he had fallen into. For a brief, shining moment, he wondered if everything that had happened – finding out his pack died, having his back broken and looking defiantly into the face of death and making it blink – was just a really messed up dream. He would’ve been happy to wake up to either the sound of his pack howling or of Fluttershy tending to her other animals.

But nope. The sting of the bruises he got from the Timber Wolves were still there. So was the feeling of his new scarf; a small comfort for the agony in his heart. He had barely even noticed them until he had collapsed. Not just from physical exertion, but emotional fatigue. Now, he had been pulled from the blissful emotionless state of sleep for… what?

A tap on his leg made him flinch. “Logan!”

He looked up with bleary eyes to see the Mane Six standing over him. They all looked rather subdued for the most part, with the exception of Applejack, who looked irritated.

Logan stood and stretched, his back creaking ominously. He straightened and stared at them, waiting for their first move.

Silence reigned for the first few minutes.

“Um…” Twilight managed a weak smile, “So, you can control lightning?”

Logan fixed her with an unblinking, flat expression. Her hopeful expression crumbled, and her ears plastered against her skull as Logan’s eyes seemed to bore into hers. She looked away, one hoof rubbing at the other. Only then did Logan move, turning away from them and heading into the Ever-Free.

“Hold on,” Applejack said, going after him. “We gotta talk.”

“Nothing worth talking about,” Logan replied, his voice dead and monotone.

“Yeah?” Applejack demanded, “How about you scaring my sister half to death yesterday!”

Logan paused.

“She was in her room crying half the day. And when I asked her about it, she only managed a few words about you!”

Logan didn’t reply.

“What happened?” Applejack asked sternly, “What did you do?”

Logan turned around, his stare turned into a glare. “I saved her life,” he growled, “She got attacked by timber wolves. I saved her.”

Applejack’s anger deflated, and she gave a soft nod, slowly piecing together how he would have gotten to such a situation in her head.

“You know, Logan,” she said softly, “I was there before too.”

He fixed her with the same unblinking stare that had cowed Twilight. But Applejack did not back down.

“I felt that same helplessness where you don’t know what to do,” she continued, “When ya can’t tell yourself, things are okay, because they’re not? When you cling to any hope you get that your parents are there, only for it to get taken away.”

Logan’s gaze didn't show anger, nor understanding. He just seemed to passively listen. Applejack swallowed nervously before taking a breath. But Logan beat her to the punch.

“You’re going to say I shouldn’t have been fighting wolves anyway, right?” he asked.

Applejack’s response died in her throat for a second.

“Well, what else was I supposed to do?” he growled, his voice turning hostile.

“You find something that keeps you going,” Applejack replied. “And ya stick to it. No matter what.” Logan paused at that. “I don’t know if hunting works that way for you, but… it was how I got through what happened to my folks. I just… threw myself into my work and my farm, and…” She touched her chest with her hoof. “The pain never really went away. But… in time, I stopped thinking about the fact that they were dead, and started remembering the better times. The lessons they taught; the people whose lives they made better.”

Logan’s ears flicked as he considered her advice.

“And I can’t say I didn’t still feel hurt that they weren’t there, but… I guess I got used to carrying it,” she finished. “I don’t know if that’ll be what happens with you. Hay, I don’t really know that much about earth wolves. But…”

Logan gave the softest of nods as he looked away, probably pondering what kind of goal could keep him going now.

For a moment, the group was silent again. Logan seemed to just sit there, thinking, while the others tried to think of what else they could say. Applejack had said her piece, but he hadn’t given her anything to work with. After the silence stretched on for a minute, Rainbow Dash cleared her throat.

“Okay, maybe I’m missing something here, but from what Princess Celestia told us… you could at least thank her.” Logan looked up at her, anger flickering in his eyes. “Dude, she saved your life!”

Thunder boomed overhead. Logan walked towards her, his eyes glowing ominously. “She killed my mother,” he said softly, “She keeps me from the last of my pack, and I should thank her?”

“Logan, please, that’s not what she meant!” Twilight begged, getting in between him and Rainbow Dash.

Thunder rumbled overhead as Logan’s glare didn’t falter. Rainbow Dash normally wasn’t one to back down from a fight, but with Twilight as the only barrier she had, she actually started to back up from the look of almost murderous rage on Logan’s face.

“I-I know we don’t have cars here,” Twilight got out, “But there have been times where carriages hit ponies. Most of them are fatal. Wouldn’t you rather be alive here than dead on Earth?”

Logan didn’t even hesitate. “I’d rather be dead.”

Twilight gasped at his answer, as did the others.

“Logan, how can you say that? Your life is precious…!”

“So, my mom’s life isn’t precious?” Logan asked. Thunder rumbled again. “My pack’s lives aren’t precious?”

“No, I didn’t mean…”

“They’re all dead because of me!” Logan snapped, though his voice cracked as he said it. “My mom’s dead because I’m here!”

“So, you’d rather have her experience losing you forever?” Rainbow Dash asked.

“YES!” Logan bellowed, knocking the mares off their hooves with his voice alone. “Because thanks to Celestia, she and my pack lost me in a way that’s even worse!” His reasonable voice was still whispering, Innocent-innocent, but these guys weren’t pups. They should know better.

“You claim to be smart, Sparkle. Use that brain of yours and THINK! If I was pulled into Equestria, that means there’s no trace of me back home. Right?”

Twilight frowned, glancing away, but nodded. “Y-Yeah. Based on what the Princess told me… I think so.”

“Do you honestly think my pack would react well to me just vanishing?” Logan demanded, “They’re my pack; they don’t know where I went, and that’s worse than knowing I’m dead and it was someone’s fault.” He closed his eyes and breathed again. When he spoke again, it wasn’t the bellowing howl, but it was wrought with enough fiery anger to melt an ice cap. “If I had died by the humans, then they’d at least know. Mom could’ve grieved, looked for payback, answers… something!” As he looked up, his voice rose as well. “But this? Me in Equestria? She was only left with questions. What happened? Where did I go? Above all that, why? From her point of view, I just walked off. Maybe I got killed, and the humans dissolved my remains. Maybe I left because she somehow did something that made me hate her. She'd be scared, worried out of her mind... she'd do something like...” His head bowed, and his voice lowered again while he clutched at his scarf. “She’d still be alive right now if I hadn't driven her mad with worry. Sure, she’d be hurting, but she’d at least be alive!”

Logan turned again to Applejack. “How would you feel if Apple Bloom disappeared all of a sudden?” He turned to Rarity. “How would you feel if Sweetie Belle just vanished without a trace? No indication as to why or how? They just stopped existing?”

Applejack and Rarity’s eyes widened. Rarity actually looked back, restraining a need to check on her sister, while Applejack shook her head.

“That,” she admitted, “Would be just about the worst thing I could imagine…”

“Oh, you don’t have to imagine it happening. It did happen! And it happened barely a month after my entire pack suffered the loss of my father; the Greatest Alpha they ever had. Celestia didn’t save me; she ripped my pack apart, broke their spirit, and turned their remaining days into a living Hell!”

The six just stared in silence. Not even a breath could be heard. Twilight’s mouth was moving, silently mincing words she couldn’t say. Probably wanting to tell Logan he was being foolish, or that what he was saying wasn’t true.

But she couldn’t say it. Because it was true.

Logan turned at Rainbow Dash again. “And you think I should THANK her?!”

Dash looked down. “Okay,” she admitted, “I guess…"

“You guess?” Logan growled. “Fuck you.”

Rainbow Dash flinched, lowering herself to the ground and looking away with shame. Logan, however, just turned away.

“If I had died,” he whispered. “Things would’ve been better.”

Fluttershy then walked up behind him. Her foreleg touched his shoulder. “That’s not true, Logan,” she whispered, “I’m glad I got to meet you; I’m glad you’re not dead.”

For a second, his paw touched her foreleg. Then he brushed it off. He started to walk away from her. As Fluttershy gave a small gasp at his cold response, Rarity raced up next to her.

“Stop! Darling, please stop this!” Rarity said, walking after him. “You can’t keep shutting yourself away. You need someone to help you through this… tragic time.” She stood next to him. “It’s never a problem to listen when your friends need an ear.”

“You’re not pack,” Logan growled. He hesitated, seeing the hurt blossom across Rarity’s face like a fresh bruise before shaking his head. “Celestia took me from my pack. She’s making you guys replace them. Now one of them’s dead.” He looked away. “She’s dead because I…” he muttered.

“I know we’re not your pack,” Fluttershy said. “And we won’t ever be exactly like them.” She moved closer. “We’re not trying to take their place, Logan. We just want to help.”

Logan was silent at that, looking down in contemplation. He deflated with a sigh, "You wanna help?” he asked, “Tell Celestia my life doesn’t matter, and that she should let me at least try to get home.”

Twilight shook her head. “Logan,” she said softly. “You know we can’t do that.”

“Why not?!” Logan snapped, “I’ve made it clear what I think about you. I’m not going to let some coward’s fear keep me from…”

“From what?” Rarity demanded, “Killing yourself?”

Logan glared at her, and sighed in resignation, his eyes closing. But when they opened, they noticed his eyes were twinkling with something other than grief.

“Kill myself? No,” he said. As the other relaxed, he continued. “As long as there’s breath in my body and a goal in my mind, I’m gonna keep fighting.”

Applejack gave a faint smile and nod at that. Which, sadly, led to another stretch of silence as everyone searched for something else to say.

Pinkie finally broke the silence. “But… what are you going to fight for?” Logan looked at her. “I mean… now that you can’t go back…”

“Oh, I can go back,” Logan glanced back out at the forest, his expression thoughtful. “There’s others,” he said, “Other people like Celestia. Unicorns. Other species. Maybe someone braver… hopefully with the right balance of ethics…”

Applejack’s grin faded to horror. “Logan…” she started to say.

“You said ‘find something to stick to,’” he reminded her, turning away. “Well, this is what I want to throw myself into.” He looked up at the mountains beyond the Ever-Free. “Celestia may not have the balls to go through with it, but she did make the portal and my mom did make it through. That means that it can be done.”

“Not by just any unicorn!” Twilight protested, “I don’t even think I’m capable…”

“I don’t care,” Logan replied, already strutting deeper into the forest. “I’m going to find them. I'll find a way back. Back to my pack.” His eyes lit up. “My mom may be gone, but I haven’t seen the others fall yet. And if even one member of my pack is still alive out there, I’ll find them. I won’t give up on them.”

“Logan, no!” Twilight yelled. She blasted a bubble spell with her horn, but he easily reflected it with his lightning. He smirked at them as they backed up, lightning crackling around his form.

“You really think you’re capable of stopping me?” he asked again.

“Logan,” Pinkie pleaded, “Don’t do this. You may not see us as friends, but what about the Crusaders? They’ll be devastated.”

Logan did pause at that. The lightning around him dimmed.

“Are you really just going to abandon them without another word?” Rainbow Dash asked.

Logan took a breath, but his smile didn’t return. He didn’t speak, however. He tilted his head… and howled.

His howl wasn’t hopeful caution. It wasn’t morose sorrow. It wasn’t even joyful defiance. It was pure determination.

As his howl built up to a bark, lightning suddenly struck his form. Smoke billowed everywhere, and the ponies fell back, coughing and struggling to see.

“Logan!” Twilight yelled, racing into the smoke.

“Get back here, you crazy canine!” Rainbow shouted, racing after her.

But the young wolf was gone. Not even a patch of fur was left. And, as the mares tried to split up to search, they heard his voice, impossibly surrounding them, as the forest itself seemed to echo with his song. If any pony in Ponyville didn’t hear it, they had to be deaf.

“Too bad it all went wrong.

I gotta know what’s going on

You guys were helping me

But I’m not where I’m supposed to be.

As the mares tried to go further into the forest, the trees began their dance again, leaning further than they should have been capable of. Bushes grew from the forest floor, blocking the mares off, and slowly driving them back.

I gotta search; I gotta fight

I’m gonna fight with all my might

Getting home; checking out

You’re in my way; sorry, but I’m out

The howl sounded again, echoing all over Ponyville. Lightning flashed through the sky, forcing Rainbow and Fluttershy back to the ground. And eventually, with the howl of determination ringing in their ears, the mares were forced to retreat from the forest.

“Don’t judge me; cuz you know what’s inside me

I’ll search, land, sky and sea

Never gonna give in; never gonna give up no.

If I can’t take a risk, then I’m never gonna win it.

Can’t give up; gotta fight it

Never giving up, never giving in no…

The last to leave was Fluttershy. And when she looked back at the forest as it danced with his howl of determination, her expression wasn’t sadness or pain. It was hope.

“Good luck, Logan,” she whispered, “I hope, wherever you go, you find peace.”

He paused, as if he could hear her… and then howled his final line.

Thanks for everything, but I’m free.”

Author's Note:

And that is the end.

Hope my altered lyrics let me use this song, because it fits Logan just so well. Please let me know if I need to change it or cut out the lyrics; I don't want this story to get yanked because of copyright.

Thank you guys again for reading and letting me know what you thought. Your feedback was wonderful and I really enjoyed hearing what you thought of Logan and his exploits.

And don't worry, while this is the end of Logan's story in Ponyville, it's not the end of his journey. I'm already working on a sequel covering his travels outside Equestria. It's not finished, and I'll likely be off the grid while I work on it, but it's coming. Never fear about that.

Additionally, sorry about the F-Bomb Logan dropped. Again, it felt appropriate, but let me know if you thought it worked or not.

Anyway, until we meet again... as Logan said, thanks for everything.

Comments

[Element of Power]

*sniff* B-Beautiful....
....
So, sequel?

[DDDDDDDDD23]

The problem is that most ponies lack the ability to view things from other perspectives.

[LSParg]

9739853
For you, in what sense Celestia is Horrible?
what I see is that Celestia is horrible when it comes to understanding Logan (like almost all ponies) and it happens that none of them is capable of understanding, they continue to treat him like a pony even though he showed them many Sometimes it was not, also something I noticed is that Celestia every time she crosses paths with Logan literally says the worst thing she could say in that situation, then Celestia is horrible when interacting with Logan and understanding her point of view but I would not say that he is a horrible person because, in spite of everything, he had good intentions, (although he really annoyed me with celestia every time he spoke with Logan because, as I said, he almost always said the worst thing that could be said in that situation, but I attribute it more to stupidity than to bad intention)

[Shattered_Moon]

I can't wait for the sequel~!

[SolitariLupus]

Well, it ended kinda sad. Was hoping he could reunite with his mom for good or something, but at least this way it sets everything up for a sequel, though I feel it'll be a dark one with Logan likely waging a cold war with Celestia while finding a way back to his pack.

[Starlight Nova]

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

[JNKing]

9753393 Starlight Nova

I envisioned Logan's voice as being a bit like Raphael's from TMNT. Specifically, Nolan North's performance as Raphael: sort of a New Yorker, street fighter type of voice.
Also, it would be topped off with a predominant growl behind his words, like when someone speaks with a sore throat.

[Wysteria]

What was that song at the end?

[JNKing]

9791994

A remix of 'You Can't Take Me' from Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron.

Link here: https://youtu.be/7M8xn3ua29s?t=84

[Spazz Kid]

Oh, dog flipping cheeseburgers, this is gonna take awhile.

[One of Nine]

10840817
If only I could like this comment more than once!

[One of Nine]

10840817

it was a technique I used for drafting the book that's going to focus on her

Sqeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!

[damnaion]

[herobrins mom]

WOW!!!

i JUST FOUND AND READ ALL OF THIS STORY...

ITS FRIGIN AWESOME!!

gona go rea the sequel now

[herobrins mom]

9739527
there are a few now yep

[JNKing]

11313076
Thank you so much. I'm so happy you enjoyed my story, and I hope the sequels hold up as well as the first one did.

Have a wonderful day. 👋

[herobrins mom]

11314216
you to :)

[rikithemonk]

I find it interesting that a Author who has written a mentally healthy character feels like he has to continually apologies for it in the Authors notes.

He wrote a character with a sense of self esteem and self worth. One who fights for what he believes in. One who actually believes in defending himself when attacked. One who strikes out when he knows that he has been wronged, rather than roll over.

Honestly sit back and think about that. This fandom is so emotionally and psychologically damaged that a normal character who had boundaries, has to be apologized for.

Monk
“Winona let out a bark and immediately ran up to Armor and started licking his muzzle, tail wagging like she was promised cake if she did it enough.” -Snakeskin Ducttape

[JNKing]

11748093

I find it interesting that a Author who has written a mentally healthy character feels like he has to continually apologies for it in the Authors notes.

To be fair, this was the first story I ever shared on this site, so I was pretty nervous about how well I could balance Logan's character with the MLP characters and keep Logan's intended toughness while still respecting the fandom.

Either way, I appreciate your insight into Logan's personality and how he interacted with the ponies, and am grateful to you for your support and feedback.

Thanks for reading. 👍