• Member Since 14th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 20th, 2017



Five years have passed since Whirlwind, Princess Luna and the Republic of Equestria were banished to a remote island in the middle of the sea. Celestia still convinced that her sister and the RoE have been sent to the moon now tightens her grip on the world and her subjects. A storm is coming...

(I'm looking for an editor for this story. PM if your interested)

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 19 )

Haven't read a thing here, but that decription and that image just makes me think:

Or maybe since this seems to be story Two...

anpther war writer eh... best see what you got.

wait. rated everyone?

What do you mean by "Rated everyone?"

1035597 I think what he means is, go into "Edit Story" for this story and look for the section marked "Content Rating". You should have the story categorised appropriately; if your story contains anything that you wouldn't show to a ten year old kid, it should be rated at least Teen. If it has graphic descriptions of violence, sex, drugs or other mature themes, best knock it up to Mature. Also, there are two boxes marked "Sex" and "Gore", which you should tick if either one appears prominently in the story.

Also, even without reading the story itself, I can tell you have problems with capitalisation and proper use of punctuation. Your story title should read "The Oncoming Storm II: Fires of Freedom" (note the colon), all words in a title should be capitalised (this is called "Title Case" - e.g. the chapter title should be "Acta Non Verba" not "Acta non Verba"), your number forms should be consistent at the very least (why are the first three chapters numbered 1, 2 and 3, but the fourth is numbered "four"?), and strictly speaking in literature numbers from one to ten should be spelled out.

1035759 Thanks for the help. Are you an editor?

1039405 I could be, but I'm not really available to do so at the minute, I was just dropping a couple of things passing through.

uh oh, here come the NLR Marine Corps....

Will there be more? Or is this it? D: PLEASE BE MORE THIS STORY IS SOOOOO GOOD

1899608 Part three is finished and will be out when part two gets edited, but finding an editor with free time is proving hard for me two find. :fluttercry:

what editing do you need? and how do i apply for the position?

this is to good to stay like this because you can't find an editor.

as a member of the new lunar republic, and a military brony, my honor demands i make the attempt

1974769 Go right ahead mate, thanks again and thanks for the kind words. BTW what force are you in? (Army, Navy, Marines or Air Force)

USMC brony. OOh-RAh echo-3
so what exactly are you looking for when it comes to editing? just grammar check and spelling? or more in detail. i edit for the brony whose stories i post on here.

1982165 Grammer Checks and spelling please. Plus if the story flows okay. I'm Welsh so my English is not spot on.

Your in the USMC. That's so awesome /)

1984569 well I am russian and irish so i understand

This story is something else, NLR all the way! :rainbowdetermined2:

amazing read cant wait to get started on the 3rd one........ HAIL THE NLR

My usual routine was to get up, wash, breakfast in bed and watch the news, then fly down to the airfield to start the day’s work. I took longer in the shower than I usually do, the images of the nightmare still playing in my mind. I’m not superstitious but maybe that nightmare was an insight into the future. Breakfast was always waiting for me on my bed when I got out of the shower thanks to the caterers. Next to my bowl of Trixie Puffs cereal was a letter, it was from parliament. I skipped passed the boring formality of the letter and got the most important part.

Oh so Trixie has her own cereal... seams right

The op room was once again a hive of activity. We had just received Intel from Stomper that agent Delta had been taken to an Imperial barrack block on the coast and 50 miles away from Boltamare but still within the Pegasus sector. It had now been two days since Delta's capture, we knew where she was but we had no idea of the internal layout of the barracks. The doors to the op room slid open.

I think the Commonly accepted name is Baltimare

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