It started when the phone rang.
Flurry Heart's eyes fluttered open, and she looked in the direction of the ringing phone. She giggled and took to the air in the direction of the funny noise. She reached the door blocking her access to the phone and lit her horn to become ghost-like, then went through the door to the phone. She picked it up and put it on her head, just like she'd seen Mommy and Daddy do many times.
"Gabah?"
"Yes hello, this is Legit Collector from the Equestrian Revenue Service. I am calling to inform you that you have not paid your income tax."
Flurry tilted her head. "Babada?"
"If you fail to... wait, babada? Are you a baby? As in a literal baby?"
Flurry giggled again and clapped her hooves together.
"I see. I suppose that is just my luck." Legit Collector sighed. "You know, I never really wanted to get into this. It just sort of happened one day. Heh, I guess of all of the ponies I've called, a baby is probably one of the least dangerous."
"Brgrrrr," Flurry replied sagely as she lit her horn and accidentally shot a book through a nearby window at speeds normally reserved for bullets.
"Right right. Anyway, it's not like this is my cutie mark or anything. I think I have a really good cutie mark that's... well, that's not important."
"Stdraba."
"I know I've fallen victim to the Sunk Cost Fallacy, but I'm in too deep! I've spent most of my savings on equipment. At this point I'm just trying to recoup my losses more than actually getting a substantial amount from ponies. It might not be so bad if it weren't for those Flim and Flam ba-- I mean bad ponies, and Twilight Sparkle ruining my computer."
Flurry cooed happily and clapped her hooves again. "Anta Twili!"
"Yeah, Anta Twili. In any case, I don't know if I should stop or not. There are several ponies who would like to find me and, ehe, I wouldn't like it if they found me. I dunno. What do you think?"
"Kfercu," Flurry responded.
"I suppose you hardly know what I'm talking about. Well, thanks for listening anyway. I haven't had anypony that I could just vent to, you know? I think I'm just going to get one score. Just something to recoup my losses, you know? Then I'll try to be better. Maybe something to do with my cutie mark. Those three fillies... grrr... they might have been on to something. In any case... um... stay in school and don't do drugs."
*Click*
Flurry poked at the phone and frowned. Where was the other pony? She stared at the receiver and tried pressing a few random buttons, but nothing happened. After a moment, the door to the room opened up, and Cadance walked in.
"Flurry, what are you doing in here? You're supposed to be down for your nap!" Cadance looked at the book-shaped hole through the nearby window and sighed. "Come on, you little troublemaker," Cadance said, sliding the headset off of Flurry. "Let's get you back to bed."
"Scama!" Flurry replied.
"Kfercu," Flurry responded.
Flurry! Stop listening to your Aunt Rainbow Dash! Naughty baby.
Aw, now I feel bad for him. I guess everyone needs someone to talk to, once in a while.
Flurry Heart = Jack Jack confirmed...
And now I'm feeling oddly sympathetic for the jerk.
That was so adorable. And the comment about the three fillies...I'm beginning to think this isn't a stallion at all, but a colt.
This was adorable! Was there any reason the baby seemed to help him through his problems? Is this where you think therapy will evolve into, where we will call random infants and talk about our problems while they babble in their language!
Well... I can't say I expected this, but it was nice to see a little of actual Legit Collector, or whatever his name actually is. Good to see he is just a criminal trying to get some quick cash.
And in the next chapter, the fellow get hit by a book that traveled half-way across Equestria.
I love how Flurry understood his every word, but just couldn't speak... I mean, how else could she tell Cadence it was a scammer?
This was TOTES ADORBS, 'nuff said
I am not unhappy to know that this has turned into a multi chapter story.
9306719
He's referring to the CMC chapter.
Is the ballistic literature going to be a brick joke?
9306738 beat me to it.
9306753
Unfortunately, due to the Equestrian military's general incompetence, they'll arrest poor Studious Collector since his name is similar to Legit's.
Dawwwwwww
About ten seconds later, Legit realized precisely why an infant would call Twilight Sparkle "Anta Twili." Then he needed to lie down for a bit.
"scama!"
Hah!
I’m living for when he somehow manages to call Discord.
9306754
orig00.deviantart.net/b322/f/2008/035/c/7/i_love_my_brick_by_arnoldrimmer776.png
Strangely, in the first couple pages of images listed, theres no mention of its ballistic end.
Lets just say, given theres a tech guy on the recieving end in this case, IT happens.
and in the next chapter, he get his by some kind of magical blast that came from flutty heart,
static1.fjcdn.com/comments/Adorableness+overload+_871ab9a1d7d258869afa44fd630cdb19.jpg
*Reads description*
*Sees chapter titled "Flurry Heart."*
This is gonna be goooood...
"Kfercu", "Stdraba"... Flurry Heart where did you learn such language?!
9306889
Discord, Spam Baiter extraordinaire.
9307016
Oh, that'll be the day he gets caught... Discord can trace the line in
"Ten seconds flat"
Best to teach them early...
9306846
*Opens mouth*
*Screams silently*
*Closes mouth*
*Naptime*
That was adorable as fuck, aaa
Nicely done
Having just last night (or was it this morning...?) decided to read this story, I must say that I am pleasantly surprised. A delightful bit of trolling, performed by all- save for a few cases (Blueblood is too stupid; Flim and Flam have legitimate reason to fear for their lives; and Flurry Heart is just a baby, albeit a rather clever one).
9307016
The funny thing is that Discord would probably be sympathetic. After all he is spreading chaos, in his own way.
9306908
Or the book that went through the window.
He has no idea...
Just a baby and she already got it!
That was so adorable that I kinda feel bad for Legit now.
9307827
I want to read that!
9309388
You want to read the book? Or do you want to read him getting HIT by the book?
9315097
... Both.
9316071
I dunno... I highly doubt it's Svengallop.
I still think the criminal is Caramel, since he's pretty much useless and fails at everything. (cruel memes attack poor Caramel forever, just because he mixed up the seeds that one time)
Lol, even Flurry knows who you are; a scammer.
Flurry Heart is Best Baby Princess, CONFIRMED!
9325736
Oh, I dunno. That other baby princess is pretty cool, too.
9315622
Both is good
Good lord this pony is stupid! You never put your eggs into one basket.