Discord
It started when the phone rang.
Discord, Lord of Chaos, sat up from his couch where he had previously been reclining and eating bags of chips.
That is to say, the actual bags. The chips themselves. All bounced away to areas unknown in Discord's dimension.
In any case, Discord floated the phone over to himself and placed it on top of his head after tossing the headset out the window.
"Hello?"
6
"Yes hello, my name is Legit Collector from the Equestrian Revenue Service!"
Discord frowned and raised an eyebrow. He seemed chipper.
"In front of me I have a warrant for your arrest! I will send it out unless you pay the Equestrian government nine thousand, eight hundred and sixty-six bits and thirty-one cents you owe from not paying your income tax! Should you fail to pay, you will be sentenced to fifteen years in an Equestrian penitentiary."
"Oh my, Discord rejinglejangleboomboomplied.
"
That sounds really bad, my good fellow. ''&"I will be sure to pay that. Would you like me to send it via express mail?".!
"Er... I suppose so. The address is--"
"Oh, I don't need that." Discorrri]rdd said. He raised his talon pawfoot and snapped it. "There. That should cover the cost. You wanted a million bits, am I correct?"
"Uh... I don't..."
Discord grinned ans he heard the sound of coins jingleing from the other side of the fon76..m "There. Now I'm all paid up for quite a while, I imagine, and I can imagine a lot."
"I... I..."
"Out of curiosity..." Discord floated into his kitchen and began taking bits out of the phoan. "What are you going to spend it on?"
"Oh, um, well, a better house for sure. Better equipment. I can spend it on a lot!"
Discord sucked air through his teeth, green clocked his tongue. "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
"Why not?"
"Because I'm not quite sure what will happen."
"... Huh?"
"In that bag I have so generously provided for you, you have a million bits worth of coins of various denominations. For each one you spend, something will happen."
Discord finished eating the phone and l6#!aid back down on the cozy.
"Spending a twenty may cause a nearby plant to explode into ravioli. Spending a ten could cause you to be given a free piece of chocolate delivered by an irate duck. Spending eighty-five bits and five cents may cause the mare of your dreams to fall madly in love with you. Who's to say?"
"So it could be something good?"
Didcrod shrugged. "If I am being completely honest, I haven't the foggiest idea."
The vice on the other end was silent for a few moments, and discord was about to say soothing ris else, but was stopped when be heard quiet sobbing from the other end.
"It's not fair!"
"Why? I paid my taxes and those coins are legal Equestrian currency."
"It's not fair!"
*Slam!
* * * *
Discord floated through Ponyville, tapping his chin in thought. Perhaps he had been too hard on the lad. Chaos was one thing, but completely breaking him was another.
Yes, perhaps this had all gone on long enough.
No, it definitely had.
With a smirk, Discord snapped his claws.
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Yep. That's Discord.
The discordant typing breaks the readability, though. Eating the phone and the bags, no problem- that's just Discord.
... Makes me wonder how he plans on hanging up.
There was no way this could have ended with good results for the Scammer!
I get the feeling Discord just killed legit...
Or BronyWriter.
One of them.
...Were all those random symbols and typos an intentional side-effect of channelling Discord, or accidental? I'm going to assume the former, those are far too numerous. Discord, Discord, Discord.... I almost feel it's you we should call Trollestia. Troll-icord? Yeah, something like that.
9326918
Well I only did it when Discord was in his dimension where everything is nuts. I took a style risk.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Deck_of_many_things
I'm still waiting for him to call the author...
I didn't personally find the chaos infecting the narration too intrusive. And I do look forward to seeing how Discord plans on bringing this to a close.
1. I see you are debunking a bunch of theories that have popped up throughout this story
2. I am going to assume the end is nearing
Given the sorts of things Ive seen on digital TV in the form of image corruption, a bit of trans dimentional reality injection mismatch is nothing.
Some of the Escape Codes commands useable in terminals would send you screaming.
9326971
Only two ponies fall for it! Flim and Flam (on the "They actually fall behind their debts and are scammers themselves" front but they turn it around) and Blueblood. Everyone else either plays along and then shuts it down, or act bored. Even children are too smart for scammers as Flurry figures it out..
Spike doesn't.. but he was a good dragon who helped him out and gave him confidence! Somehow the predictability of this is what makes it funny. The humor and jokes stay fresh so it never quite hits you that the joke is almost nopony falling for it.
But to be fair here, I too, thought Fluttershy would fall for it as well!
9326934 And then... he calls MEEEEEEEEEEE...
We have so much fun together. Just look at the smile I carved on his face while I dissected him alive!
An interesting way to do this chapter, hahaha, good job!
There should be a chapter where the scammer guy receives a scam call.
You can't even attempt to troll a troll master and not get off scott free
So has Discord been causing this guy's troubles this entire time? The end of the chapter leaves me unsure...
Discord Ex Machina? Discord Ex Machina.
9327056
🤔
That's all I have to say in response to that.
9326918
Well obviously Discord's just gotta hang the phone up. The only question is where?
I had been looking forward to this. I was not disappointed.
9327256
Exactly.
YES!!! You gave us Discord and YOU. DID. NOT. DISAPPOINT!
I have to wonder if that's poor editing, or just... Discord.
"discord snapped his claws"
well shit.. there goes half the universe
My Muse thought of something...different for the end of the call. You decide whether it is better or worse for him.
"So it could be something good?"
Discord shrugged. "If I am being completely honest, I haven't the foggiest idea."
His smile grew and grew as he thought to himself, "Wait for it...wait for it..."
"Umm...may I ask a couple of questions, please?"
The draconequus blinked. "OK?"
"So are you saying the result depends upon how much I spend? So if one of my hooves turns blue when I spend 4 bits and 15 cents, I should expect another hoof to turn blue if I spend the same amount?"
Discord reached through a portal and pulled the caller's hoof through to scratch his head. After letting the scammer get the girlish scream out of his system, Discord said "I ... suppose so, yes." He let go of the hoof and it shot back through the closing hole in the air.
"A-a-and will the money be safe for the proprietor who took my money?"
Discord nodded, which caused the room the scammer was in to jump up and down vigorously. "Ah. The effect is triggered only once and that is by the person spending the money initially."
"Woohoo! I love you! You're amazing!"
That was not the reaction Discord was expecting.
"All I have to do is package up a hundred bits of the money in various denominations and offer them for the low-low price of a hundred bits each!"
Discord summoned the caller's daisy sandwich and munched on it with a free hand. "But the effect will be triggered as soon as they pay you."
"Ah, ah, ah! I'm not selling the packages, I'm transferring title. Technically, that's not selling. Covered in a separate section of the Equestrian Standard Codes. Mom was right! That Business Law class finally did come in handy! Do you know how many thrill-seekers this will appeal to?"
The scammers' voice took a deep tone. "Do you have the guts to try your luck with the Chaotic Bits of a Million Possibilities? Spend now and join the national challenge to learn what every combination of bits and cents will do!"
The draconequus tilted his head until it spun around once. "I hadn't thought of that."
The caller's voice returned to normal. "Could you arrange to make anyone spending exactly one bit to drop into Celestia's lap? That would be so incredible!"
"Ummm..."
"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! We'll have to do lunch sometime!"
And with that, the caller hung up. Discord spat out a transcription of the call and read it over carefully. With a wave of one paw, the sheaf of index cards bounced away, barking.
The Lord of Chaos sighed. "I just didn't have the heart to tell him that spending exactly one bit always resets all the spending amounts to new possibilities."
9327402
Discord.
This can either be good, or really really bad.
9327241 Why so Sirius?
images-wixmp-ed30a86b8c4ca887773594c2.wixmp.com/intermediary/f/d66be091-bd96-4b02-8b10-b138a9c66ee1/d5eveze-3f0b54fc-62e2-417a-b5c6-86166de281bb.jpg
(My commission from a gazillion years ago in 2012. A little meme I started.)
Those coins remind me of a rather similar idea I had, except with a poker chip.
I'm just now realizing that I've been scammed... this story isn't scammers calling the main 6. It's a scammer calling all of MLP.
9330659
I swear, when I clicked, "Caramel" was the last update...
Anywho, I loe the way you prekkslslented this chapter.
*grabs popcorn*
I have no idea if that was a joke about Discord eating chips (or chip bags anyway), or just a complete coincidence, but I'm laughing either way.
what's the deal with the (presumably deliberate) spelling "errors"? I feel like I'm missing a joke
10625903
Discord's chaos.
10625952
okay I thought maybe there was something more to it, rather than just "discord is chaotic and typos are chaotic". Thanks