Stupid stories for the low, low price of your firstborn children. o(*^▽^*)┛
Haha, these people I deal with everyday... hoo, I need a day off.
Too bad I'm cursed to be stuck here in this booth, forever sending people as their favorite whatever into the pretty pony place of MLP.
Yes, I'm aware that the next story was supposed to be about Clippy, but screw that guy for now, amirite?
An obvious parody satire of the Displaced genre.
Nobody loves you, Clippy.
A collaboration with Skittle Sky. Prepare thine anuses.
Art by yours truly.
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For a Friday read, this was perfect. Have my green thumb.
Hiding the fact it's a parody in spoilers tags is an obvious attempt to start some sort of issue, and dude, if you're going to make it parody,it should have some semblance of comedy, this made me roll my eyes and really is no different from one of the fics you're obviously trying to make fun of. You could remove the parody tag and it wouldn't make a single difference.
9044480
Alrighty then. I'll remove the spoilertag. ^_^
This did make me laugh, albeit it is too much telling for my taste... but I fear that was intentional on your part, mister author.
Personally, I believe you could do better than this one. It does feel rushed, I'm afraid.
9044515
I guess that's why there's gonna be multiple chapters.
9044523
Fair enough.
... This reminds me, must track to see where you're going with this.
9044525
The garbage dump. That's where.
9044526
Methinks you've had some bad experiences with awful stories. Would you like some links to actually good ones to wash out the bad taste?
I can assure you, that my suggestions will be worth the time - as hard to believe that would be to most people here.
9044530
Don't worry, I've got plenty enough in my tracking list to last a lifetime.
9044554
Fair enough. If you ever wish to give my suggestion a chance, I suggest you read this one: Hollow Shades.
I can assure you, it makes a good story.
9044564
Okay.
9044530
That does bring up an interesting question: How many awful experiences are necessary before something (genres, places, people, etc) can be objectively shitcanned?
9045122
54.
9045122
All of them.
9045122
I pin the answer upon Sturgeon's Law, mister Hamster. For every hundred stories, ten will be worth reading. And how one can tell which one is good, and which one isn't? By reading them - usually the first couple chapters to be sure.
I must bring to mention, how there is something that interests people into the whole 'Isekai' thing, due to its permanence - not only in fanfiction, but even in standard media. It is a trend which has contributed to the permanence of not only Displaced, but Human in Equestria and Crossover genres too for Fimfic, and for other fanfiction sites too.
The execution of the story, on the other hand... is the key in terms of quality. From orthography to grammar, narrative building, plot building, characterization, etc.
If I were to go with the overall experience to can something, then I'd can the crap out of Displaced, Crossovers, Human in Equestria, Anon in Equestria, Human male gets transformed into princess filly, The Chosen Human/ Seventh Element of Harmony, Self-Insert/Mary Sue/Gary Stu or pony equivalents that derail and destroy whatever worth the story originally had, Xenophobic Celestia/Tirantlestia related fanfiction, all fanfics where the ponies are depicted as monsters, The Conversion Bureau, Fall of Equestria, and even most if not all fluff-fics that serve no purpose except to be cute for its own sake, etc.
The important thing is to keep one's mind open and see if there is gold among the dross, and spread the word concerning the ones that classify as 'gold' to encourage a rise in quality from other writers.
And if there is potential to be had in a story that is deficient in terms of execution, to speak out and point out the parts where the writer can in fact improve, rather than the classic 'you suck, please learn to write first'.
I'd preserve that one to someone who doesn't hear any constructive feedback - instead lashing out since the author's a 'perfect writer', but is instead a pretentious prick that believes himself to be the Shakespeare of fanfiction - despite the evidence pointing to the contrary of that self-delusion - of which I've met some, within Crossover and HiE unfortunately enough.
I hope this answers your question, Mr. Hamster. Have a nice day!
I find it interesting when someone tries to mock something, but ends up being just as bad as what they are mocking I,E Animated James or etc.
9045932
Don't know... this chapter feels somewhat empty, like it could've shown more in his daily life.
For example, you could have gone in this route: a few minutes after the fedora guy scene, the displacer gets approached by another customer, who should be the classic image of an annoying, self-entitled and chauvinistic customer from a convention, plus points if you show his behavior as deeply annoying and creepy (or whatever cliche customer appears in conventions, since I never went to any), who also wishes to be sent to another world - only with hot chicks for his 'charming personality' to bond with and make a harem - buying a bauble from a handsome male anime character, thinking that he'll be automatically displaced as Mr. Hunk Guy instead of going there as Loser Maximus, Jr.
So, naturally, the displacer gives him his wish... without any advantages in terms of shape-shifting him into the hunk as the customer never specified that, leaving the ugly guy up a creek without a paddle - ideally with a scene cut about him getting persecuted for being an ugly alien.
Alternatively, if you're creative enough, you could portray briefly a truly alien Equestria - where the natives have miniature hooves in their fingers and toes, their feet are bipedal in nature and they are both naked and really furry - with the recently displaced freaking out at the incongruity of what he's seeing when compared to his furry, fetichistic tendencies where everyone looks like a human in colour with some 'kawaii' animal traits.
Bonus points if the displacer makes the remark that he wished for the wrong place, too - pointing briefly at the existence of Equestria Girls universe, too.
So, as the salesman's fuming about not having proper clients within the heat, but two guys whose purchasing average was 35 dollars...
Only to be approached by an even more annoying customer: the classic self-entitled edgelord who hates everything and everyone 'cause that's what's 'in', who also wishes to be sent elsewhere with the plethora of crap over him as the sources of his power to become the master of whatever universe he wishes to show them who's boss and to fulfill his most debased desires of wanton destruction and villainy, as his 'untapped potential' is wasted on this world.
Plus points if you take the path of the LOHAV - with the customer thinking that he deserves to show dah pones who's the boogie man, as they are an affront to masculinity everywhere.
My vote would be for that one to be sent to an ironic hell - like him ending up as an newborn earth pony filly of very girly colours without any of his 'entitled powers' to do as he wishes, with some final words from the Displacer about being careful with what you wish for, but you're the author.
I am no comedian, but I do try to take Mel Brooks, that wise man's words seriously for writing situational and absurd situations coming to pass: "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die."
So, you see... I'm kinda disappointed with this chapter - too short, fell flat, the joke's nowhere to be seen unlike the previous chapter. I know you can do better - I know comedy's not easy in the slightest, but this chapter is sad in terms of content and execution. I didn't even laugh once, unlike the previous chapter.
Like a guy on Discord's Writer Help stated: for comedy, exagerate things to the point where it's insane, or something in that spirit. *Shrugs*
I hope you take this feedback, and improve onto your work - since this chapter feels too short, with no buildup to a joke of any kind, without mentioning that you only focused on a sad cardboard of the 'Fedora Guy', when there are plenty of stereotypes to make a satire from besides the ones I described - which are among the most annoying, to be honest.
Well, I hope to read more from you - only this time with more reaction from the salesman to the madness of his customers, as this chapter fell flat and isn't funny in the slightest.
9048388
Alrighty, I'll try that with the next chapter.
9048519
Please, do not let me dictate how you do your story, as it was just an example of where you could have gone with the current chapter. Think of my comment as more of a 'what if', rather than a guide.
The only point I can see this current chapter relating to how most stories go is the brevity of the exchange before getting their asses displaced. Other than that... well, I can't honestly say. U_U
9048533
I'm currently going with a plan of starting off moderately tame, but as the day goes on weirder and weirder people begin showing up.
9048638
Ah. Thanks for the clarification.
9048656
Yup.
Okay, I loved this chapter.
...
Pffftt!
Nice allusion to that lawnmower displaced fic. My only regret is that this chapter's too short.
Longer chapters, dude.
Okay, I lol'd at this chapter.
Pity you'll axe this one - maybe tag it 'complete' instead of 'canceled' due to it being a collection rather than having a long-term plot and planned story?
I'd keep it tracked in case you wish to update it in the future whenever your fancy strikes.
10057658
Mayhaps. I'm still thinking about it.
10057660
Fair enough.
I do have the feeling that this website is slowly but surely becoming smaller due to the users leaving to fresher pastures and fandoms.
That's the bad side of joining a fansite in its final stages. On the other hand ... there are many completed stories that are worth checking out!
10057671
Yes
Hahahahahaha!
Crack at its finest!
...
Hahahahahaha!