Prologue and most-definitely necessary yet entirely unneeded infodumping about the OC and protagonist of this piece of literature
Read at your own risk. 
Credit to Skittle Sky for collab-ing... CHECK OUT HER ART ON INSTAGRAM @momoruuu
Sorry, shameless plug is shameless.
Hello. I am your totally average and unsuspecting merchant at your local Bronycon. Yes, I act like a douche. Yes, I look shadier than your uncle's "basement-basement". And lastly, yes. I am the infamous Displacer.
And no, I will absolutely not send you to your favorite place unless you act as absolutely edgy as crap. Like, this one guy came up to me one day dressed like Discord, and just kinda went off on a rant until I finally booted him into Equestria as Gummy.
...
Unless you get really annoying, then I'll just send you off like a mother sending her child off to college. What I mean is... away with you, foul demon! Of course, Bronycon doesn't allow me to teleport you inside the building, safety reasons and all, I'll most likely bring you out to dinner first... at the trash bar, near the trashcans. Then, I'll treat you to a nice, soothing swamp bath, made from only the freshest scalding dishwater.
Or, of course, I could simply clone you, and smite the clone in a fit of rage unparalleled by anything else in existence. Sure, I might be marked as a murderer, but I, the mystical creature of your dreams, shall never be discovered... by the police. You silly fools, on the other hand, just have to find me in order to accomplish your dreams of being teleported to Equestria, I mean, it's not like I want my privacy... right?
...RIIIIIIGHT?!
Ha, what am I saying, of course I want my privacy! Do you know how it feels to be barged into, butt naked might I say, by a nutcase claiming that they have a prophecy to fulfill? Nothing is more humiliating than being walked into while showering! And the thing is, I don't even know how they managed to break into my magical home, which by the way has many security measures.
"Sir, I don't think a bear trap in front of a merchant stand is enough to keep them out."
SILENCE, YOU FOOL! OF COURSE IT IS!
"Alright, whatever you say, shall we continue now?"
... Fine. What was I talking about again?
"You were talking about these uh, so called Bronies? Sir, could you explain what a Brony even is?"
Well, for starters, I'm not referring to all Bronies as a plague. Only certain ones.
"Sir, I wasn't asking what you think of all of these... 'Bronies', I was asking you what a Brony is."
Right, right. Now, as I was saying... A Brony, along with their female counterparts, the Pegasisters, are a small percentage of the human population that takes a liking to a type of entertainment known as "animation", which is displayed on a special device called "Television".
"Sir, you do realize that I know what animation is, as well as TV. Just get on with your explanation, please?"
SHHHHHhhhhhhhhh, the info-dumping needs to happen.
"A-alright, sir."
Now, as I was saying, animation, or more specifically, animated cartoons, or even more specifically, the fourth iteration of a specific show known as "My Little Pony", is the type of entertainment that these "Bronies" and "Pegasisters" often take a liking to. While most simply enjoy and appreciate the show for its values and cheerfulness, there are... urk... certain figures who'd prefer to instead live in the show as their favorite little edgelord character. Now, I'm not saying that anybody who'd wish to live in the MLP universe is automatically cringey, but while I understand and grant the wishes of some, certain others I only grant the wishes of to simply erase them forever from my life.
"Ah. Well... ok. Anyway, on with the interview. Have you ever tried teleporting yourself to this place called... E-quest-ria...?"
Excuse me, it's pronounced 'EE-QUEST-REEEEE-ya'. Anyway, I would never even dream of going there in my life. However, if I did ever dream of it, it would most likely be a nightmare under the full moon.
...Wait.
...Wait... Wait, wait, no! I-I didn't mean to do that! I didn't mean to make an Equestrian pun, I swear! No, it can't be, it couldn't be! I-I would never, please, someone help me! I can't get my name tainted like this, not now, not ever!
"Sir, calm down, it's fine. I don't even know what you're talking about in the first place. Now, would you please continue? You're wasting our time."
Ah, yes, sorry. Things are tight at home, right? Don't you have another job right after this, Jhonny-kun?
"...Don't ever mention my accidental last name ever again, and don't bring my life into this, Lil' Wil."
Alright, alright. Sheesh, I was just teasing ya. Anyway, where were we again?
"You were talking about never going to Equstreeya?"
Equestria. Jhonny-kun, Equestria.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever."
But Jhonny-kun, I do believe we already covered this topic? Don't you have more questions for me?
"Um... yes. I'd prefer if you refrain from addressing me by name again, if you please."
...
"..."
"Anyways, what is it that you do as the legendary 'Displacer Merchant' of conventions?"
Eh, honestly not much. If people are nice about it and show that they clearly just want to buy something, I just go ahead and play the part of the friendly stand operator. If they want displacing, then sure. If they get all up and snappy in my face, or they act all shady and crap, then I just kick 'em into the nearest MLP universe that happens to float past.
"Elaboration, please?"
Yeah, yeah. It's not so much some arcane spell or sacred ritual though. I was taught long ago by the Lord of Chaos himself on the art of displacement. For me, it's pretty much as simple as thinking of my target, and flicking my wrist, or perhaps snapping my fingers. Often times, just to mess with 'em, I give them the good ol' delayed reaction charm to hold off the displacement until after they buy something.
"Isn't that a bit shady?"
I wouldn't say so. They're practically erased from existence, so I'd might as well chip in and empty their pockets before they get sent off to who-knows-where. It's great for the economy, too.
"What do you typically encounter during your work as a salesman?"
Just the usual, in most cases. Some kids and their parents, a clusterfunk or two of loners both male and female, couples, and occasionally some grifter who wants me to shell out my life savings. You know the drill.
"Yes, yes. The typical life of a day-job merchant. What's the most unusual encounter you've had during your time as a Displacer?"
Oh, you don't want to know.
"Well, it's kind of my job to know, isn't it?"
True.
"And it's kind of your job to tell me."
... Technically, that's not my job. My job is to displace people and sell toys, and that's that.
"You are such a-- nevermind. Please continue."
But I just told you that you don't want to know.
"WELL, it's kinda my job to report this, isn't it? Oh, Lil' Wil, you wouldn't want to get me fired, now would you?"
... You are a crappy reporter...
"Hey!"
Awwww, did that get your feelsy-wheelsies huuurrt?
"N-no..."
No what?
"N-no you didn't hurt my feelings! Baka."
Aww, what was that at the ennnddd?
"S-shut up!"
Ow, ok, you didn't have to kick me really hard in the stomach.
"HMMMMMHMHMHMhmHMhMHhmhmHHmh?"
Jeez, I give up, I'll tell you.
"THANK YOU."
...What was the question again? My head hurts. Too many edgelords in one day, y'know?
"Yesssssssss... thank you for the answer..."
Answer? What?
"You were asked about your most unusual encounters as a Displacer Merchant."
Oh, that. I believe one of the strangest things I've seen so far is when a person came up to me dressed as a doorknob, claiming to be "the savior of garbage everywhere" and screaming at the top of his lungs. He's probably off in Equestria somewhere now being an anthropomorphic doorknob or something.
"Oh."
I believe that's just about it for my nightly interview now. I've got some interdimensional checkers to play.
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For a Friday read, this was perfect. Have my green thumb.
Hiding the fact it's a parody in spoilers tags is an obvious attempt to start some sort of issue, and dude, if you're going to make it parody,it should have some semblance of comedy, this made me roll my eyes and really is no different from one of the fics you're obviously trying to make fun of. You could remove the parody tag and it wouldn't make a single difference.
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Alrighty then. I'll remove the spoilertag. ^_^
This did make me laugh, albeit it is too much telling for my taste... but I fear that was intentional on your part, mister author.
Personally, I believe you could do better than this one. It does feel rushed, I'm afraid.
9044515
I guess that's why there's gonna be multiple chapters.
9044523
Fair enough.
... This reminds me, must track to see where you're going with this.
9044525
The garbage dump. That's where.
9044526
Methinks you've had some bad experiences with awful stories. Would you like some links to actually good ones to wash out the bad taste?
I can assure you, that my suggestions will be worth the time - as hard to believe that would be to most people here.
9044530
Don't worry, I've got plenty enough in my tracking list to last a lifetime.
9044554
Fair enough. If you ever wish to give my suggestion a chance, I suggest you read this one: Hollow Shades.
I can assure you, it makes a good story.
9044564
Okay.
9044530
That does bring up an interesting question: How many awful experiences are necessary before something (genres, places, people, etc) can be objectively shitcanned?
9045122
54.
9045122
All of them.
9045122
I pin the answer upon Sturgeon's Law, mister Hamster. For every hundred stories, ten will be worth reading. And how one can tell which one is good, and which one isn't? By reading them - usually the first couple chapters to be sure.
I must bring to mention, how there is something that interests people into the whole 'Isekai' thing, due to its permanence - not only in fanfiction, but even in standard media. It is a trend which has contributed to the permanence of not only Displaced, but Human in Equestria and Crossover genres too for Fimfic, and for other fanfiction sites too.
The execution of the story, on the other hand... is the key in terms of quality. From orthography to grammar, narrative building, plot building, characterization, etc.
If I were to go with the overall experience to can something, then I'd can the crap out of Displaced, Crossovers, Human in Equestria, Anon in Equestria, Human male gets transformed into princess filly, The Chosen Human/ Seventh Element of Harmony, Self-Insert/Mary Sue/Gary Stu or pony equivalents that derail and destroy whatever worth the story originally had, Xenophobic Celestia/Tirantlestia related fanfiction, all fanfics where the ponies are depicted as monsters, The Conversion Bureau, Fall of Equestria, and even most if not all fluff-fics that serve no purpose except to be cute for its own sake, etc.
The important thing is to keep one's mind open and see if there is gold among the dross, and spread the word concerning the ones that classify as 'gold' to encourage a rise in quality from other writers.
And if there is potential to be had in a story that is deficient in terms of execution, to speak out and point out the parts where the writer can in fact improve, rather than the classic 'you suck, please learn to write first'.
I'd preserve that one to someone who doesn't hear any constructive feedback - instead lashing out since the author's a 'perfect writer', but is instead a pretentious prick that believes himself to be the Shakespeare of fanfiction - despite the evidence pointing to the contrary of that self-delusion - of which I've met some, within Crossover and HiE unfortunately enough.
I hope this answers your question, Mr. Hamster. Have a nice day!
I find it interesting when someone tries to mock something, but ends up being just as bad as what they are mocking I,E Animated James or etc.
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