The Man In Steel

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Comments ( 12 )

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The Redneck

The Redneck #1 · Jun 16th, 2018 · 8 · ·

The moss points to civilization......so it'll be this way'

Moss grows on the north side of a tree not on the side that's closest to civilization

Ranun

Ranun #2 · Jun 16th, 2018 · 8 · ·

8989023
Moss grows in shaded places
On a single tree it'll show north or south (depending on the hemisphere)
and in forest there's shade everywhere. (If the info in my head is to be belived)

moviemaster8510

moviemaster8510 #3 · Jun 16th, 2018 · 17 · 2 ·

We now return to "I Couldn't Be Bothered to Create a Unique Character on My Own So I'm Just Going to Take Everything That's Cool About Some Character That You Probably Know About and Give All That Cool Shit to Some Boring, Inconsequential Jackass That I Couldn't Be Bothered to Make Interesting in Their Own Right, But You All Know The Character He'll Become, So You'll Clap Anyways," only on ABC.

DAMN HAMSTER

DAMN HAMSTER #4 · Jun 16th, 2018 · 6 · 1 ·

The creativity on this one really set my noggin to joggin'.

metroid_freak

metroid_freak #5 · Jun 16th, 2018 · 10 · ·

You're checking off every cliche/error box that you never want to check off. Not only has the Displaced genre become the equivalent of a dumpster on fire, it's essentially a downvote magnet.

There's no originality here, nothing interesting, nothing to make anyone want to read it. You make every basic grammar error possible, making even your description almost unreadable. Your main character (you, essentially) is nothing more that an excuse to act out a fantasy. He's shallow and uninteresting. Your plot is sub-micron levels of thin and provides no reason to read it. Does anyone actually study anything before just submitting something for the hell of it? If you're not going to put any effort into writing it, why should I put any effort into reading it?

I'd abandon this one, study the site's writing guide, and then try again with a fresh idea. I know I was harsh but if I'm not honest, I'm doing you a disservice. They key is to take it all in, take a few deep breaths, and try again. Don't just give up; learn about writing and storytelling and keep practicing. Good luck with your endeavors.

SCP049

SCP049 #6 · Jun 16th, 2018 · · ·

Dash_lover

Dash_lover #7 · Jun 17th, 2018 · 1 · 5 ·

8989023
I'ts a story the author can make there own choices.

Merchent343

Merchent343 #8 · Jun 17th, 2018 · · ·

8990324
You're right. The author is free to make their own decisions.
So is everyone else here. And they're not using that freedom to praise this.

SCP049

SCP049 #9 · Jun 18th, 2018 · 1 · ·

8990672
They also the freedom to say this about the fic

GhoulDash97

GhoulDash97 #10 · Jun 18th, 2018 · 6 · ·

I've seen better writing from a Sonic fanfic.

ihatehaters1994

ihatehaters1994 #11 · Jun 18th, 2018 · · ·

To TheDerricks5
Personally i like HIE's but you gotta slow down. You took what could have been minimum 2 chapters and crammed it into 1 extremely short chapter. Work on your grammer a bit. Also write in some filler to your story. Add in some descriptions of his location, give us an interesting back story, give him an inner voice to battle, and dont forget he needs to find a teacher to properly train him with his War Machine armor. Just keep on writing, you can only improve if you try/want to.

SOG AVENGER 225