Tempest calmly walked through the house a few days after the party. Agnes was deluged with the presents she had received - admittedly, they were all 'compulsion gifts' of the sort that parents made kids bring when they attended the local party, rather than chosen for a friend...not that Agnes seemed to mind or even notice - which meant less time Tempest was required to spend with her. As much as she cared for the youngest girl, dealing with her at her present age could frequently be a headache. Edith was spending more of her time 'training' on the new play equipment in the backyard that had been set up for the party and never taken down, which didn't really interest Tempest. And Margo was busy keeping the mess of Agnes and her presents somewhat under control. As a result, Tempest was more or less left to her own devices...which had her seeking out Father. If she was going to be a kid, she should get some solo parent time once in a while.
Reaching the front door, she saw Gru dropping Kyle into the neighbor's yard to do his business...and watched as this resulted in the neighbor's rosebush withering right before her eyes. She held back, not really wanting to deal with Kyle's terror of her, or be trying to rival him for time with Father.
Then she noticed the woman approaching Father. She was tall - about the same height as Gru - and thin, with her exact definition completely concealed by a bright turquoise overcoat with a matching dress underneath. She had bright red hair tied in a bun behind her head with bangs framing her face, bright green eyes behind blue framed glasses, and freckles dotting her pale skin. She also had a sharply up-pointing nose, somewhat reminiscent of a bird's beak...but where on others that might have been odd, she seemed to make it work.
Tempest wasn't able to hear the conversation as Gru spun to face her, but she was able to read the ID the woman pulled out once it was right side up. 'Agent Lucy Wilde, AVL'. She also saw the woman shift between serious as she pulled the ID out, awkwardly embarrassed when she realized she'd pulled it out upside down, and then back to serious after flipping it right side up.
Curious, Tempest managed to get outside just as Gru responded to something Lucy said. "Oh, sorry, I-Freeze Ray!" As he declared the weapon, he pulled it out and fired...only for Lucy to already have a flame spewing weapon that unfolded into a gun shape even as it unleashed the flames to counter the freeze ray. Her expression didn't change as she did so.
"You really should announce your weapons after you fire them, Mr. Gru," Lucy pointed out as she pulled out a stick of lipstick and walked calmly towards him. "For example..." Strands of metal suddenly leapt from the lipstick and stuck to Gru's chest, sending arcs of electricity over him, causing him to jerk, writhe, and...disco, for some reason. "Lipstick taser!" Lucy declared happily as she threw one hand into the air and lifted one leg in a silly victory pose, a bright smile on her face as Gru fell limp.
"A valid point," Tempest pointed out calmly as Lucy spun to face her...and the yard opened up behind her as what she'd called on rose to her summons. Barry had managed to stabilize the internal control system for the Simsa Major - as the robotic construct was dubbed now - so that it could act on directives, and it now glowered down at Lucy as stars glowed within its structure from the magical power focused there. "So...what counts as firing this thing?" Tempest asked curiously. "Should I identify it now that it's activated...or after it eats you?"
Lucy blinked up at the beast as she seemed to respond on automatic. "Well the point of it is so that your opponent knows what defeats them only after it's too late for them to counter it, so since I don't think I have any weaponry to counter a giant star-powered bear-bot, now would be a good time and I feel like we got off on the wrong foot." She started to hold out her hand.
"You tasered my Father," Tempest pointed out flatly as the Simsa Major growled, liquid dripping from its mouth that splashed on the concrete, bored holes, and then crystallized in odd configurations as it cooled based on the splash pattern. "If you don't have a good reason, Simsa Major here is going to eat you."
"Simsa Major?" Lucy asked curiously. "That's an odd name, though given the overall bear shape I assume it's derived from Ursa Major? A robotic simulation of the constellation in creature form?" She blinked as her eyes shifted down from the bot to the one talking to her. "And I just realized I'm talking to a talking unicorn who just called Felonious Gru 'Father', so I should probably be making peace with god instead of rambling, shouldn't I? Sorry, I'm a rambler, and I promise I had a really good reason for tasing him." She frowned as she shifted her tongue around the inside of her mouth. "Tasing? Tasering? Zapping? Let's go with zapping. Don't you just hate English? Word derivation just doesn't make sense, even if you grew up speaking it."
Tempest tilted her head thoughtfully. While she was absolutely upset about Lucy zapping - that worked better than decrypting the adverb form of the verb form of a noun that didn't exist when the noun/verb/adverb rules were made - Father, there was just something so...adorkable about the way she was babbling. It somewhat reminded her of Twilight when she was working on something...with a smattering of Pinkie being Pinkie. She didn't really understand human attractiveness-
8.5
10!
9?
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-but apparently the Minions were of the opinion she was on the high end. She also didn't seem at all distressed by Gru's casual dismissal of personal property laws, or the family tendency towards super weapons beyond them being pointed at her. She also seemed to adjust well to the unexpected, as she wasn't freaking out about a talking unicorn or giant robot bear looming over her. The fact she spent more effort deriving the meaning behind its designation than figuring out a way to take it apart or screaming lent credence to that notion.
On a hunch, Tempest decided to take an approach...different from what she was considering at first. "I have two questions for you," she stated calmly. "If I like your answers, I'll help you load Father into your car, and I and a few others will go with you when you take him wherever you're going...just in case we don't like that."
"I suppose I can work with that," Lucy allowed thoughtfully. She glanced from her thin arms to the girth of Gru's upper body. "That's one detail I overlooked when I made Plan B. So what happens if you don't like my answers?"
"We find out if Simsa Major's digestive tract works."
"Fair enough, ask away."
Tempest raised an eyebrow. Lucy certainly took things in stride. A closer examination by Stuart through active sensors showed all the expected signs of someone in the grip of fear or on the verge of panic, but Lucy remained in control of herself. Better and better, Tempest mused in her mind. Aloud, she asked, "Are you single?"
"Not for lack of looking," Lucy responded immediately. "The few dates I've gone on haven't ended well, though. Generally had to shoot them with a horse tranquilizer and lug them home to get out of an awkward social situation I had no idea how to handle."
And now she reminds me of that Starlight Glimmer filly, Tempest mused thoughtfully, remembering Starlight's tale of trying to use mind control magic to make 'friendship assignments' go faster and smoother. Honestly, at this point she was glad she'd grown up outside Equestria the first time and would the second time. Unicorns that grew up within the country seemed to be in competition to out-crazy each other. "How are you with kids?" Tempest pressed gently.
Lucy glanced nervously from Tempest to the Simsa Major. "I...know safe tranquilizer dosages and am very good at eyeballing body mass?" she offered nervously.
Tempest let that turn over in the Overthought...and suppressed a laugh at the response. Rolling her eyes, she shrugged her shoulders. "Well, Father had less under his belt when he adopted my sisters. We'll have three other passengers." The Simsa Major pulled back, pouting a little as it was dropped back into the hangar.
"Did my life just hang on my compatibility as a prospective love interest to your Father and mother figure to you and your sisters?" Lucy questioned curiously.
"More or less, yeah," Tempest responded readily. "It helps that you're apparently pretty by human standards, especially compared to the friends the local busybody keeps trying to set him up with." Turning, she approached Lucy's car, a bright blue vehicle with only two seats inside. "So what music do you have to listen to?"
"I don't like music playing while I drive," Lucy stated firmly.
"And I don't like having my Father zapped right in front of me," Tempest responded as Kevin, Stuart, and Bob tromped out of the house to pick Gru up, carrying him into the car to deposit him into the front passenger seat.
"I'm the one heavily armed, and you'll have a hard time taking the Simsa with you," Lucy pointed out as she sat in the driver's seat.
"I'm the one who can turn you into a sheep with a thought. How long does it take you to grab a weapon?"
"...do you like smooth jazz?"
Smooth jazz, you say?
Well...that went better than I expected. And I'm still not used to her still having her old memories. Though that might be due to binging most of the other stories while I wait for updates here.
media.tenor.com/images/5a0315aed7c4cef73a8ab04e0f2995e4/tenor.gif
Simsa Major... there is a joke there I am missing...
EDIT: ohh.. Sim Ursa... Simsa..
Yes... yes it did.
Do I spy a Warcraft wizard joke there.
Everything I love about the Despicable Me movies combined with everything I love in a Tatsurou fic. I'm going to have a hard time breathing in later chapters, aren't I? Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
Good job there Tempest. Not a bad way to find your potential mother figure.
Oh this was so worth the wait.
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for most of the other's it is a case of Shock induced Amnesia. as they had limited choice and/or Warning in their dimension shifting/jumping.
Heh that was funny!
Well, that was a random chapter. I can't wait to see what other funny things happen in the next fewchapters.
You seem to have good hand on Lucy so far, looking forward to more. :)
Wow, its about time we made it here, i was waiting on lucy to truly enjoy the story, with her all the rest will be a blast.
This is where the movies could and SHOULD have gone.
SO waiting for more.
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And said shock was due to the results of Order and Chaos, which is basically the prequel to the majority of the PWNY-verse.
Smooth jazz?! You need pop-rock and country when you go driving!
The last few lines of dialogue were hilarious.
The entire interaction between Tempest and Lucy, I imagined Tempest acting like she did during the invasion. I don't have the Pacha gif on hand but that's what every chapter feels like when I read it after a hard day and dealing with idiots bullshit.
So Tempest knows this spell?
gatherer.wizards.com/Handlers/Image.ashx?multiverseid=126212&type=card
Cow Gru's enemies? Tempest can do better...
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yes Tempest Berrytwist, I mean Fizzlepop Shadow, I mean... you know who I mean, was pretty much transported "cleanly", this also dates the Story in the "Timeline" of the original universe, this story iis, so far, the latest one have seen of that version of the FIM universe
Hhhhmmm not sure how involved Tempest was in playing matchmaker, but I just assume she noticed her dads problems andsince she is sure that girl (susie?) is attractive she takes the chance to help her dad.
I wanted to say something at first since I wasn't thinking it fits her to play the matchmaker but that sounded more clever from her.
I mean even if she did nothing about it so far, she could have seen this situation as a perfect alternative.
Sorry it seems I haven't heard that english expression yet.
Okay that is somehow cute and funny how she takes control of the situation, but I would still like to see Gru telling her she should not do something like that. Then she can do it anyway just for comedy even if that should lead to punishment.
Seems Lucy beared better than initially Overthought.
Haven't seen despicable me beyond the first movie, want to. Also, THIS is gonna be HILARIOUS
Good job surviving that, Lucy.
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In this case eyeballing means to make an estimate based on what you can see. Lucy means she can guess the proper sedative dose for a person fairly well just by looking at them.
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Pretty sure the 'Good at eyeballing body mass' thing was supposed to be in reference to getting the proper dosage for the tranquilizers
My god that was hilarious
that was an amusing first impression
...Tatsurou, you incredible son of a glitch... I just had a really long and trying day, and when I read this chapter...
...
...I totally came within inches of crying from laughter.
Well done, oh Master of the Written Word, he whom I shall know henceforth as a high ranking member of the Pagemasters — they whose creations in this art form are most memorable — well done, indeed.
If I could Upvote it a thousand times, I would be breaking the Upvote button.
Fizzlepop is deliciously controlling in this chapter. More please!
Approximately 1 second. the thought process takes about 13 milliseconds. But that means you have to think of the spell matrix and all of the complicated involved with a spell, so we can up that to half a second. If she's good enough, she can do it in half the time. so she would win.
The last two lines were great, great job.
Everyone already took the good smooth jazz jokes!
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Remember the wall-walking? She doesn't need the spell, as her horn isn't a real horn. She just needs to identify what exactly she wants to do.
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Because her horn is a super computer that does it for her?
Must . . Not . . Make . . Bee Movie . . Jo-
YA LIKE JAZZ?!?!
Huh... is it because Edith is practicing stuff that looks cool, rather than is actually effective?
Or now that she has her horn back is Tempest not bothering with keeping her acrobatic martial arts skills sharp?
Or has she decided that as a child and/or non-villian she doesn't need them?
I'll grant you that she's a competent, or even highly skilled commander, but she seemed much more of a physical threat than a genius commander as far as her impact on the audience went.
-How did personal property laws come up? Did I miss something or did you edit how much of the conversation we heard, and then forget to edit the bit I quoted? Or did she see him having Kyle do what he did?
-I chuckled at the underlined bits.
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regarding your question, his making Kyle go in the neighbor's yard
Ya like jazz?
… the ai is developing already. It’s upset that it didn’t get to maul anyone! How cute! I didn’t notice that before.