After intensive discussion regarding what music they should listen to while driving with a great deal of back and forth between Tempest and Lucy and even more haggling regarding what Lucy could tolerate while driving - given she would be driving - and Tempest's interests, it was determined that none of the music Lucy had readily available fit the restrictive criteria, nor would any be on any radio stations they would be able to access for the short time they would be traveling.
However, Stuart was able to point out based on how long Lucy said the trip would take that there was one song they could all sing that it was scientifically impossible for anyone to hate or dislike for driving. Kevin playfully corrected that it was scientifically impossible without becoming Simsa chow, which set all three Minions to giggling. Much to Tempest's pleasure, Lucy loved the song, and they were quickly engaging in a surprisingly in-tune acapella. The lyrics proved especially apt as they drove right across a pier through pedestrian areas and off the edge as the car converted into a submarine.
Idly, Tempest wondered as they sang if Lucy would ask where the back seat had come from, as the car hadn't had one until after the trio of Minions had gotten in, and wouldn't have one once they got back out.
As they drove through the ocean, Tempest paused in her singing to look around at the scenery, enjoying the panoramic view...and listening to the others singing. Lucy had a surprisingly well trained contralto.
"Mama mia let me go!" Lucy sang out.
"Beelzebub hego hubnam ponga oe nunu me!" Stuart sang out.
"Nunu me!" Kevin continued.
"Nunu me!" Bob finished as he hit a high note.
As they all began headbanging, Tempest felt Gru beginning to stir, whether from the travel or the singing she wasn't sure. Still, she saw no reason to draw attention to it as the singing and travel continued. As a massive submarine just barely became visible in the distance, Gru surprised them as he sang out the end of the song in a deep, cultured baritone. "Nothing really matters..." he sang, his voice lovingly caressing notes and ears with equal skill. "Anyone can see...nothing really matters...to me~..."
"Any way the wind blows~..." Lucy sang back, holding the final note as they approached the sub.
"Your singing is...not bad," Gru observed calmly as he took in his surroundings.
"Your pipes are pretty good, too," Lucy replied warmly. "Especially after getting za-"
"The proper past tense verb form is tasered, adverb form tasering," Gru pointed out helpfully. At Tempest's surprised look, he shrugged. "You're not the only one who noticed Margo's reading material. I have to keep up somehow. And yes," he continued to Lucy, "English is very confusing."
"You seem to be taking me tasering and kidnapping you rather well," Lucy pointed out with a smile. "That's actually a relief. I really wanted to make a good impression on you, not a bad one."
"None of us are restrained, and you're still human instead of a sheep, robo-bear chow, or both," Gru teased playfully as he mussed Tempest's mane. "That tells me Tempest's in charge and you made a good impression on her despite assaulting me while she watched. I'm willing to see where this goes before I start blasting." He shrugged. "Besides, I can't fault your taste in music."
Tempest raised an eyebrow as that got a rather adorable giggle-snort and blush out of Lucy. Well, that explains why she wasn't offended that her life hung on match making, she sent to the Overthought. She's...kinda acting like a fangirl?
A.V.L. Anti-Villain League, the Overthought sent back. She's probably read his file and was fascinated by him for some reason.
That explains it, Tempest thought calmly as they slowly floated into a dock at the top of the submarine, settling down on wheels as the water drained out once it was sealed, followed by a comical quick dry to get rid of the sea water clinging to the outside of the car. The platform then lowered into a massive command center, with two other platforms closing around the one they were on to create a semblance of a conference room. Across the table sat a plump, brown-haired, brown eyed man with a very long face dressed in a brown suit. As Lucy opened the car doors, Tempest hopped out so Father could step out.
"Good afternoon, Mr. Gru," the man greeted warmly, if somewhat aloofly. "I apologize for our methods in getting you here-"
"I don't!" Lucy interrupted excitedly. "I enjoyed every minute of it. Gave me a buzz!"
"Even the Simsa?" Tempest inquired curiously.
"Especially the Simsa!" Lucy answered eagerly. "How often does a rookie agent get to face down a villainous mecha superweapon? That's tenure level assignment, minimum-"
"That's enough, Agent Wilde," the man chided firmly, giving the impression of glaring at her over spectacles despite the fact he wasn't wearing any. Lucy immediately fell silent. He then turned to Gru. "I understand such methods distressed both you and your family, and were the present situation not so urgent we would have done all we could to avoid that."
Am I the only one thinking he's got a superweapon somewhere that he's ready to deploy to force our cooperation? Tempest thought quickly to Bob, Stuart, and Kevin.
The three Minions quickly slipped odd, crystal-studded gloves on before moving to encircle Gru, Tempest, and Lucy. Lifting their gloved hands, they began to chant, "Red potato, banana! Red potato banana!" As they chanted, a magic barrier surrounded the group in a sphere.
Tempest blinked in confusion, wondering why she couldn't understand the chant...until she realized it was translating into Cantonese instead of English for the syllable match. Are you really sure you should be chanting a spell to banish evil to protect Father and me? she asked them silently.
Neither of you is a demon, ghost, or goblin, Stuart thought back logically.
The man behind the desk looked startled, but raised his hand. "I promise you, we mean you no harm."
"Yes," Gru observed calmly. "I'm certain that's why I've been knocked unconscious and kidnapped. I just bet you want me to appear on the new series of 'Most Eligible Bachelor'."
"I'd watch that," Lucy spoke up helpfully. "Assuming I wasn't a contestant."
Tempest suppressed a chuckle when that led to Gru glancing at her in surprise. She decided to focus on the man across the table. "So...what's the Anti-Villain League, exactly?" she asked calmly.
"We are an ultra-secret agency dedicated to dealing with crime on a global scale," the man explained dramatically. "Rob a bank? Not our problem. Kill someone? That's local. But try to melt the polar ice caps? Vaporize Mt. Fuji?" He gave Gru a significant look. "Steal the Moon?"
"Hey, you have no proof I did that!" Gru snapped out insistently. "Also, after I did it, I put it back."
Tempest's eyes nearly popped out of her head as she heard that. She'd known her new Father had villainous tendencies and had the attitude and support to have been successful...but to steal the Moon? She definitely needed details on that later.
Well-
No, I want it for bedtime stories! Tempest snapped at the Overthought.
"We're well aware of that, Mr. Gru," the man continued calmly. "That's why we brought you here. I am the League's Director, Silas Ramsbottom."
Tempest suppressed a snort of laughter as the Minions giggled at that. "Bottom!" Dave murmured to Stuart as they shared a giggle. Deciding to add her own joke, she let out a startlingly accurate goat bleat, which set all of them to laughing.
"...how charming," Silas murmured dryly. "Agent Wilde?"
Lucy blinked, surprised as attention turned back to her. She'd apparently relaxed, having shed her jacket to reveal the sleeveless dress she was wearing underneath. "Oh, me now?" she asked in surprise, before moving to stand between Gru and a large screen that had moved into position. Gesturing, she drew attention to an image of a magnet-shaped airship clutching a lab of some sort above a snow-covered landscape...although it looked to Tempest like Gru was paying more attention to the shape of her arm, which she seemed to be deliberately flaunting. "Recently an entire secret lab was stolen from the Arctic Circle," she explained as the image ceased to be still, the magnet shaped airship flying off with the lab. "Yeah, the entire lab!" she continued more energetically. "Just whish! Voom!" She gesticulated energetically as she spoke. "Gone! Where did it go?"
"Not my problem," Gru stated bluntly.
Blinking in surprise, Lucy continued. "The lab was working on experiments involving PX-41, a transmutation serum."
"Unless it turns ordinary ponies into unicorns, I don't see why I should care," Gru pointed out flatly as he watched a scientist on the screen inject a purple liquid into a harmless looking bunny.
"As much as I'd love if that were the case..." Lucy allowed playfully, letting the scene play out.
As they watched, the bunny mutated into a massive, purple, bunny-shaped beast that proceeded to destroy anything in reach, savagely mauling the scientists.
"...it's a bit more serious than that," Lucy concluded.
"Looks like it generates a gland to produce monsterpropesene and puts it into overdrive," Tempest observed calmly. "Most mutates and Kaiju have one, which is what lets them function physically at sizes that physics say shouldn't be sustainable. Given the rapidity of the mutation and the resulting violent behavior, the creatures probably don't have a means of stabilizing and metabolizing the resulting hormonal overflow, which is what causes such intense aggression." She then noticed everyone staring at her. "Uncle Nef brought some odd books in while he was working on fixing my horn," she explained calmly. "I got bored."
"Well...yes..." Silas allowed hesitantly. "As you can see, in the wrong hands, the PX-41 serum could be the most devastating weapon on Earth."
"Not really," Tempest countered easily. "All you really need to counteract it is Panacea Extract, which breaks monsterpropesene down in the bloodstream. You can make it in aerosol format relatively easy. Spray enough of a dose, mutation reverses and the subject conks out."
Silas frowned disapprovingly. "The Panacea blossom is incredibly rare and difficult to grow and harvest-"
Tempest zapped Silas' teacup, turning it into a beautiful flower with petals that seemed to refract the light that passed through them, giving the impression of rainbow colored while actually being colorless. "There's one. How many more do you need?"
Silas stared at the blatant transfiguration that had occurred right in front of him. Coughing awkwardly, he straightened his tie. "Well...I suppose we can call that Plan B, but we'd really rather prevent it from being used that way if possible. Beyond that, it has a very distinct chemical footprint, and using the latest in chem-tracking technology, we found traces of it in the Paradise Mall, and we believe one of these shop owners is a disguised supervillain." As he spoke, information flew across the screen. "As an ex-villain, Mr. Gru, you know how a villain thinks, how a villain acts."
"The plan is to set you up undercover at a shop in the mall," Lucy explained eagerly, "where hopefully you'll-"
"No," Gru stated flatly, catching Silas and Lucy off guard. "As tempting as all this Mission Impossible stuff is, I am a Father and a legitimate businessman. I don't have time for all of this." He turned to lead Tempest and the Minions out. "However, I would be happy to provide the Panacea Extract Aerosol at fair market value should you need to fall back on Plan B. After all, business is business."
"...if you're certain-" Silas began.
"And next time you need help from someone," Gru interrupted as he glowered at the man, "maybe instead of tasing and kidnapping you could, I don't know, give them a phone call! Good day, Mr. Sheepsbutt!"
"...Ramsbottom..." Silas corrected awkwardly.
"Like that's any better," Gru joked. He then turned to storm out, only to pause in front of Lucy. "You can...stop by if you want," he offered awkwardly. "Unofficially, I mean. Not this AVL nonsense...just to talk..."
Tempest smiled to herself as she followed Gru out. It wouldn't be good to debate his decision in front of the AVL - bad to undermine him and all that - but she saw a few ways this could be turned to their advantage.
Besides, it would mean more of Father and Lucy interacting, and who knew where that would go?
Guess Ramsbottom doesn't have to really Panacea? Especially after getting such a calm conversation after his guests Gruling experience of being tazed.
"This is the problem." "You can fix it with that." "That is very rare." *POOF* "How many more do you need?"
Looking forward to more.
Keep up the great work. Deus tecum.
I didn't click on the song link, but once I read that line I knew exactly what they were singing, Bohemian Rhapsody. Which is one of my all time favorite songs.
Careful Tempest, your edging into Mr. Welch Territory there.
You have to love how ponies in your stories just go
"Buck your problems it only going to ten seconds to solve"
You just know someones gonna try to kidnap tempest now. Then mr. Bear is gonna get some fun time. I mean she's a one of a kind unicorn who can transmute things into other things someones gonna want that. Hymn ... nightmare tempest would be kinda cool if she gets dosed by that chemical.
And Tempest suddenly regretted not taking Shipping 101 class with Cadance.
>>
CMC's Crossover plug slip past me? Never. That was beautifully done.
How about...
I'd like to point out that attempted to...blast(?) Her with the freeze ray. Yes she defended against it successfully, but that's really all the reason she needed for tazing him.
I repeat
I guess I am the statistical anomaly then, I cannot stand that song. Before I am tarred and feathered and/or anything else let me explain. My first exposure to that song was the cover by “Wierd Al” and it has permanently ruined this song for me. All he did was speed up the song to what would be found in a polka and I just couldn't get the song.
An excellent deviation from the original. Gru was awesome.
I honestly expected the link to be the YMCA song That was just as good, though.
9303107 NYEEEEEEEEEEEH!!
Screw the rules, she has magic.
I like what happened in the last two chapters including this one I mean.
I like how they act and how they react to Tempest in the story. I love it that she was taken seriously even if that maybe was more supposed to have a comedy aspect.
9303672
While i'm not sure which song it was exactly, I can understand you, I mean how a different example can ruine a thing for you.
I disliked the whole Tirek thing for a while after a story, not sure if I like him now.
Since when are the Minions Chi Wizards?!
9304187 Minions are an unusual form of Deus Ex Machina; at least one of them has a skill needed at any given time. Combine that with the Overthought and you get a serious case of OP... May they never be Nerfed. And now, I kinda wonder how the PX-41 will interact with the overthought...
That was perfect
9304480
so Tempest may have an army of mini rage monsters that still listen to her as the big bad has a temper tantrum about the failed evil plan because of a unicorn pony.
Well, that just cancelled the second movie. Without messing with its main plot point. Celestia damn it Curly Fries, ponies really mess with plotlines!
Does that mean it could get loaded into a Fart Gun?......
By the way I think I know under what circumstances the fart gun would be useful besides as a prank.
This
just fire it through the vent, and enjoy the spectacle.
of course that depends on the strength of the smell in the gun and its max ammo capacity, but.... it's a potential use.
9305582
Ponies are best OP
Oh no! I accidentally turned Lucy into a fawn! I guess she will have to live with us until we can get her back to normal~.
You made the Ramsbottom joke actually funny. Imagining the face Tempest made when she made the goat noise was a real knee slapper! But not just one slap.
I slapped the Devil out of my knee just like how Bob Ross cleans his paintbrushes!
media.giphy.com/media/PSspAQMjQraAo/giphy.gif
9305632
In canon, it caused the target to pass out(!). I think ammo capacity is not going to be a problem , since only one shot is ever needed...
9306828
Granted, but to fill a room? you might need more than one shot. If you could do that though, it would be spectacular. but on the subject of loading the thing with the antidote? I think this could be interesting, and rather cringe worthy.
Teacup!
9304480
I'm curious if we would get a nice and emotional scene in chase Tempest would get infected and goes on a serious rampage. Once she comes to her senses, she might feel pretty guilty.
Well, that was interesting.
This was unexpected.
9309812
I read what ur profile picture says and have to say....
GET DUNKED ON!!!!!!
I missed that. But, in my fanon, this seems standard for most Equestria buildings, so she would at least have had the idea. Maybe even have studied the spell. She probably knows enough spellcraft to design those power boosters for the Tree of Harmony so she might know the theory of such spells... but really, your fanon probably differs and you were just using "rule of funny" as the justification for her skill.
9693777
More 'the Minions have been researching everything they can do with "Magic, snort snort" now that they have access, and they go by the 'try everything, we can survive exploding' method.
Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fai Di Zao!
"Beelzebub hego hubnam ponga oe nunu me!" Stuart sang out.
was there a reason for slight change of lyrics?
9969319