//------------------------------// // First Impressions // Story: Three Kittens, Two Unicorns, and a BANANA! // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// Tempest calmly walked through the house a few days after the party. Agnes was deluged with the presents she had received - admittedly, they were all 'compulsion gifts' of the sort that parents made kids bring when they attended the local party, rather than chosen for a friend...not that Agnes seemed to mind or even notice - which meant less time Tempest was required to spend with her. As much as she cared for the youngest girl, dealing with her at her present age could frequently be a headache. Edith was spending more of her time 'training' on the new play equipment in the backyard that had been set up for the party and never taken down, which didn't really interest Tempest. And Margo was busy keeping the mess of Agnes and her presents somewhat under control. As a result, Tempest was more or less left to her own devices...which had her seeking out Father. If she was going to be a kid, she should get some solo parent time once in a while. Reaching the front door, she saw Gru dropping Kyle into the neighbor's yard to do his business...and watched as this resulted in the neighbor's rosebush withering right before her eyes. She held back, not really wanting to deal with Kyle's terror of her, or be trying to rival him for time with Father. Then she noticed the woman approaching Father. She was tall - about the same height as Gru - and thin, with her exact definition completely concealed by a bright turquoise overcoat with a matching dress underneath. She had bright red hair tied in a bun behind her head with bangs framing her face, bright green eyes behind blue framed glasses, and freckles dotting her pale skin. She also had a sharply up-pointing nose, somewhat reminiscent of a bird's beak...but where on others that might have been odd, she seemed to make it work. Tempest wasn't able to hear the conversation as Gru spun to face her, but she was able to read the ID the woman pulled out once it was right side up. 'Agent Lucy Wilde, AVL'. She also saw the woman shift between serious as she pulled the ID out, awkwardly embarrassed when she realized she'd pulled it out upside down, and then back to serious after flipping it right side up. Curious, Tempest managed to get outside just as Gru responded to something Lucy said. "Oh, sorry, I-Freeze Ray!" As he declared the weapon, he pulled it out and fired...only for Lucy to already have a flame spewing weapon that unfolded into a gun shape even as it unleashed the flames to counter the freeze ray. Her expression didn't change as she did so. "You really should announce your weapons after you fire them, Mr. Gru," Lucy pointed out as she pulled out a stick of lipstick and walked calmly towards him. "For example..." Strands of metal suddenly leapt from the lipstick and stuck to Gru's chest, sending arcs of electricity over him, causing him to jerk, writhe, and...disco, for some reason. "Lipstick taser!" Lucy declared happily as she threw one hand into the air and lifted one leg in a silly victory pose, a bright smile on her face as Gru fell limp. "A valid point," Tempest pointed out calmly as Lucy spun to face her...and the yard opened up behind her as what she'd called on rose to her summons. Barry had managed to stabilize the internal control system for the Simsa Major - as the robotic construct was dubbed now - so that it could act on directives, and it now glowered down at Lucy as stars glowed within its structure from the magical power focused there. "So...what counts as firing this thing?" Tempest asked curiously. "Should I identify it now that it's activated...or after it eats you?" Lucy blinked up at the beast as she seemed to respond on automatic. "Well the point of it is so that your opponent knows what defeats them only after it's too late for them to counter it, so since I don't think I have any weaponry to counter a giant star-powered bear-bot, now would be a good time and I feel like we got off on the wrong foot." She started to hold out her hand. "You tasered my Father," Tempest pointed out flatly as the Simsa Major growled, liquid dripping from its mouth that splashed on the concrete, bored holes, and then crystallized in odd configurations as it cooled based on the splash pattern. "If you don't have a good reason, Simsa Major here is going to eat you." "Simsa Major?" Lucy asked curiously. "That's an odd name, though given the overall bear shape I assume it's derived from Ursa Major? A robotic simulation of the constellation in creature form?" She blinked as her eyes shifted down from the bot to the one talking to her. "And I just realized I'm talking to a talking unicorn who just called Felonious Gru 'Father', so I should probably be making peace with god instead of rambling, shouldn't I? Sorry, I'm a rambler, and I promise I had a really good reason for tasing him." She frowned as she shifted her tongue around the inside of her mouth. "Tasing? Tasering? Zapping? Let's go with zapping. Don't you just hate English? Word derivation just doesn't make sense, even if you grew up speaking it." Tempest tilted her head thoughtfully. While she was absolutely upset about Lucy zapping - that worked better than decrypting the adverb form of the verb form of a noun that didn't exist when the noun/verb/adverb rules were made - Father, there was just something so...adorkable about the way she was babbling. It somewhat reminded her of Twilight when she was working on something...with a smattering of Pinkie being Pinkie. She didn't really understand human attractiveness- 8.5 10! 9? 8.2 -but apparently the Minions were of the opinion she was on the high end. She also didn't seem at all distressed by Gru's casual dismissal of personal property laws, or the family tendency towards super weapons beyond them being pointed at her. She also seemed to adjust well to the unexpected, as she wasn't freaking out about a talking unicorn or giant robot bear looming over her. The fact she spent more effort deriving the meaning behind its designation than figuring out a way to take it apart or screaming lent credence to that notion. On a hunch, Tempest decided to take an approach...different from what she was considering at first. "I have two questions for you," she stated calmly. "If I like your answers, I'll help you load Father into your car, and I and a few others will go with you when you take him wherever you're going...just in case we don't like that." "I suppose I can work with that," Lucy allowed thoughtfully. She glanced from her thin arms to the girth of Gru's upper body. "That's one detail I overlooked when I made Plan B. So what happens if you don't like my answers?" "We find out if Simsa Major's digestive tract works." "Fair enough, ask away." Tempest raised an eyebrow. Lucy certainly took things in stride. A closer examination by Stuart through active sensors showed all the expected signs of someone in the grip of fear or on the verge of panic, but Lucy remained in control of herself. Better and better, Tempest mused in her mind. Aloud, she asked, "Are you single?" "Not for lack of looking," Lucy responded immediately. "The few dates I've gone on haven't ended well, though. Generally had to shoot them with a horse tranquilizer and lug them home to get out of an awkward social situation I had no idea how to handle." And now she reminds me of that Starlight Glimmer filly, Tempest mused thoughtfully, remembering Starlight's tale of trying to use mind control magic to make 'friendship assignments' go faster and smoother. Honestly, at this point she was glad she'd grown up outside Equestria the first time and would the second time. Unicorns that grew up within the country seemed to be in competition to out-crazy each other. "How are you with kids?" Tempest pressed gently. Lucy glanced nervously from Tempest to the Simsa Major. "I...know safe tranquilizer dosages and am very good at eyeballing body mass?" she offered nervously. Tempest let that turn over in the Overthought...and suppressed a laugh at the response. Rolling her eyes, she shrugged her shoulders. "Well, Father had less under his belt when he adopted my sisters. We'll have three other passengers." The Simsa Major pulled back, pouting a little as it was dropped back into the hangar. "Did my life just hang on my compatibility as a prospective love interest to your Father and mother figure to you and your sisters?" Lucy questioned curiously. "More or less, yeah," Tempest responded readily. "It helps that you're apparently pretty by human standards, especially compared to the friends the local busybody keeps trying to set him up with." Turning, she approached Lucy's car, a bright blue vehicle with only two seats inside. "So what music do you have to listen to?" "I don't like music playing while I drive," Lucy stated firmly. "And I don't like having my Father zapped right in front of me," Tempest responded as Kevin, Stuart, and Bob tromped out of the house to pick Gru up, carrying him into the car to deposit him into the front passenger seat. "I'm the one heavily armed, and you'll have a hard time taking the Simsa with you," Lucy pointed out as she sat in the driver's seat. "I'm the one who can turn you into a sheep with a thought. How long does it take you to grab a weapon?" "...do you like smooth jazz?"