Finely Aged Sunburst

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Comments ( 9 )

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moviemaster8510

moviemaster8510 #1 · May 24th, 2018 · 1 · ·

Why don’t you touch me, touch me? Why don’t you touch me, touch me? Touch me

Now! Now!

NOW!

Bruno

Bruno #2 · May 24th, 2018 · 1 · ·

Well, I enjoyed the pairing itself, if not necessarily the fetishes accompanying it.

TheVClaw

TheVClaw #3 · May 24th, 2018 · 1 · ·

I gotta say, it's nice to know I'm no longer the only person to write older pony smut for commission. And as far as this story goes, I'm surprisingly delighted at how well-written and sensual it turned out to be. Sunburst might be described a bit too old for my preference, but Stygian's admiration and enthusiasm is pretty contagious; plus, the backstory of Stygian's explaination for liking Sunburst's form feels very believable and... almost canon-like. The clop itself was very well-done, and the fetishy portions didn't detract from my enjotment at all. And overall, I have to give credit where credit is due; this is a surprisingly fantastic piece, and I would not mind reading ~~or perhaps writing~~ more stories of these kinds of themes in the near future. 👍

Storm butt

Storm butt #4 · May 24th, 2018 · 1 · ·

8944366
I enjoyed writing it, and the fetishes didn’t distract me much to do so. It was fun to finally write Sunburst in general, hah.

Mix-up

Mix-up #5 · May 24th, 2018 · 1 · ·

This was a good read, I really liked it, keep it up.

tryingmybest1111

tryingmybest1111 #6 · May 24th, 2018 · 2 · ·

So this story wasn't necessarily badly written, but I do have a gripe with the beginning segment. I feel like including the scene where Sunburst actually drank the potion and maybe fleshing out some of the emotions/buildup before he takes the first sip would have added some erotic tension. Just my subjective opinion however.

Overall, not bad at all and your descriptions are very well fleshed-out and the story was easily readable as far as its prose and grammar mechanics were concerned.

I'd rate this a 6/10. Grammatically and prosaically competent piece of writing that lacks the conceptual depth to push through to a higher rating, but still very solid for what it is.

Storm butt