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Spike is a young boy attending Canterlot junior making new friends and going on epic adventurers.
Other tags
Sad
Ships
Spike X Sweetie Belle
Discord X Fluttershy
Twilight X Thorax
Side characters
King Sombra
Smolder
Pharynx
Principal Celestia
Vice principal Luna
My editor for this story is https://www.fimfiction.net/user/209410/wingdingaling
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Hope everyone enjoys the story because when it's finished there will be sueqeal to
I would like to see where this is going
Well I won't spoil the story but I'll be working on chapter 3 a bit later
Well. That was unexpected.
The chapters only gets better
I mean. Yeah. Vacant but blunt responses is a pretty realistic response. I like it, though I'd wish it was filled out a little more. Seems a bit short and fast paced. (Perhaps for the sequel that you mentioned?)
We'll if the squeal is a secusse I'm going to make another squeal
I'm curious, how open are you to criticism? I've met some writers who embrace any criticisms and others who ban/block those that do it. However, you have an editor, so I have to assume some level of thick-skin.
So, I ask, how ready are you to accept/receive criticisms and improve as a writer?
Who's ready for chapter 3
Hate to say but after chapter 5 I'm pausing the story to give my editor a bit of a break after I hear their ready I continue but that's only 2 chapters away
8876043
Sure. Helping the writer helps me, the editor, out.
Sorry but chapter 3 isn't finished but I'll to finish it anytime I can
Since I got ideas for a new story I'll be putting this on hiatus early sorry but I might find some point to continue
If wingdingaling doesn't want to or can't work on it who's a great editor that wants to work on my new story
Sorry if I put this story on hiatus I bet you're all in supsence but I'm currently writing chapter 6 on Google docs sorry if I can't get chapter 3 out fast enough
Okay every I got 4 new chapters out you could read
Love it. Can't wait for new chapters and curious how embers gonna come into play with smolder.
I'm lovin the chapters, conflicts and soon resolve cant wait to read more.
Spikes been roughing it for like. 3 days now? How aren't both himself and his clothes stinking to high end? Does he shower at school? But how does he wash his clothes? Edit: good chapter though, I'm liking it.
I already can tell that something bads gonna happen but what?...
I think it's be cool if principal Celestia finds out about this and ends up adopting Spike since she's kinda like has adopted mom in the show
Yo!
This is a pretty cool story you got!
I noticed your writing moves a little fast, but I suspect that's because you don't have very muich writing experience. But that's ok, I won't fault you for that. I can see what you're trying to do with this story so I'll leave you with some writing tips that I wrote for authors like you. Hope it helps!
That... Was sudden. Why'd he go all lone wolf?
I mentioned this before but I think it'd be a sweet addition to the story if principal Celestia ends up adopting Spike
Ohh tempest. And now I get why spike was so nonchalont about crime and death. He's the son of a serial killer. That's bound to numb your reaction to people dying.
keep it up your doing fine...
In a gang while in elementary school dang Spike
needs more content... but good work on the story your doing great.
Oh shit pharynx sold out sombra? Dayum
Ohh shit. Prison break season 5 looks lit. Plus, looking forward to sombra hopefully turning on pharynx as a last dotch effort to a) protect his son and b) get back at him for selling him out.
Really want sombra to go beastmode on Pharynx
Dayum son. Pharynx with the 3K. Realllllly want tempest to adopt spike or something. Or at least be a part of his life somehow.
There's magic now? That came out of nowhere.
interesting
the plot thickens...
still as good as always
Very nice.
8892518
That would be interesting. kind of reminds me of the fic principal celestia hunts the undead, where she adopts sunset shimmer.
So that's what Garble ment by, enjoy your gift.
8975332
I see you recently decided to read this story
So, Garble was telling the truth, didn't expect that. Also there's a little problem with this line in particular:
“And if we see you near us, and especially Sweetie Belle again: it’ll be your head,” the purple-haired girl said.
There are two purple haired girls among them, Sweetiebelle and Scootaloo, clearly you meant Scootaloo, but it almost sounds like Sweetiebelle referring to herself in third person. Here's how you could have fixed it.
“And if we see you near us, and especially Sweetie Belle again: it’ll be your head,” the orange girl said.
Other than that slightly confusing line the story is great so far. Can't wait to see what happens next.
Well ain't that just adorable. A little girl sleeping with the little boy who burned her.
Okay Sombra. Well I will say he is at least more in character and age appropriate than Discord in this story. Discord's character doesn't even feel like Discord from the show, and as a teen?
8908552
Well, can't say Sombra didn't deserve it.
Seriously, just missed reuniting with Sweetiebelle by a few seconds.
I just have to say, before I even read it, I'm so glad you decided to make Spike a human for this story. Because, while I love shipping Spike with any of the ponies, if you assume things like romance would replicate themselves across the two realms , (which would have to if the two realms maintain the same actual characters, kinda like the Star Trek mirrorverse). Then any Spike pairing would have some nasty implications on Equestria Girls. It's one of the many reasons I still can't parse why the chose to make him a dog. Hell, a cat would've been better.
Aww!
Wait a minute.. an elementary kid in a gang?
No way! And I started watching toca life sad stories when I was 10. Some were scary, but none were 13+.
8890487
dun-dun-duuuun!!
Aah! Spike’s Sombra’s kid? Whoa! Weird..