Heroes come in all shapes and sizes. Though sometimes, they come in the form of a sociopathic CEO. Enter Handsome Jack. Bandit killer, head of the company that manufacturers the most accurate firearms ever made, and destroyer of the CL4P-TP steward bot line.
But, above all else: he's the most handsome king to ever rule over the Crystal Empire.
Follow the Handsome one as he attempts to purchase Canterlot from Princess Celestia! Will he succeed in doing so? Or will this be a story in which the hero doesn't emerge as the victor?
Edited by James Fire.
Chapters (1)
Reading this could lead to unintended side effects, including: sanity loss, dizziness, psychotic episodes, loss of faith in humanity, breaking the space-time continuum, universe implosion, universe explosion, and the flu.
8395313
I got the flu.
8395633
You are a lucky user. That is one of the less dangerous side effects.
*hides a smile* Well this was certainly an entertaining little fic involving my favorite Borderlands character. Good writing and Blake's growing use to Jack was truly fun to see until the end.
Handsome Jack did nothing wrong.
Somehow, the thought of Handome Jack being the ruler of the Crystal Empire and the husband of Princess Cadence makes me shudder with fear.
8395990 Oh, it'd make me shudder with fear too. If it wasn't for the fact that I didn't want this story to be rated M, I would've had him treat Flurry Heart like he treated Angel.
And, to be honest, I wouldn't be surprised if nearly everyone on this site hated me for doing so. Although I do feel kind of sorry for Jack when I play the Pre-Sequel, I won't deny that he's a sadistic guy and a complete sociopath.
Though I do think Damien Clarke did an amazing job voicing him.
Wait, is this the real Jack? Or is it Timothy Lawerence? Or was Shining Armor kidnapped and forced to become another Handsome Jack body double? So many questions... but, I always knew Butt-Stallion came from the Crystal Empire, and man do I love being right!
8396002 It's the real Jack. As the ending implied, Celestia bet Discord to send Shining Armor somewhere else. As is the case with the story, he switched places with Handsome Jack.
And, naturally, Jack took over the Crystal Empire.
After all, I doubt Timothy could've succeeded as well as the REAL Jack. ;)
Though I must say... the thought of Shining becoming another Jack body double is AWESOME.
8396005
Okay. Also, have Emperor Jack tell Butt-Stallion I say hello. And tell Jack I think he's a hero.
8395313
I lost my faith in humanity... and then it came back. So will something bad happen to my universe then?
8676575
You'll get the flu.