This story is a sequel to TwiDash Begins
Twilight Sparkle and Rainbow Dash are dating now, but will it become a wonderful date that they never imagined before? With no help at all.
Chapters (3)
- Member Since 27th Jun, 2017
- offline last seen 6 days ago
Cutest Boxer Puppy Ever
Hey! It’s your favourite boxer here. Just chilling. Won’t be on much though we can catch up on discord.
Cutest Boxer Puppy Ever
Joined 27th Jun, 2017 ·
Offline
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Cutest Boxer Puppy Ever · 1.4k words · 31 6 · 2.1k views
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I can confirm that this is, in fact, Twidash.
If ya want, however, I can provide con crit.
Whaaaaat?
8342569
Whaaaaaat?
Constructive criticism?
It would be great if you could publish longer chapters, that would be much better and also not to repeat words or phrases like
'Twilight Sparkle said, “I’am and wow, Dashie you are looking so beautiful today.”
Rainbow Dash said, “Thank you and so are you, you are looking so beautiful today, Twily.”'
here both times you used the phrase: "you are looking so beautiful today"
instead you could try something like:
"I am and wow, Dashie you look beautiful today"
Rainbow Dash blushed "Thanks you look pretty good yourself"
Hope this constructive criticism helped
8342674
I’am not really a long story writer!
8342624
Yes please I need an editor.
“Gand” should be “Grand”.
It is a breath of fresh air to read a story set in a simple world with simple relationships.
I know that this is a simple story, but it might be good to mix up the prose with “exclaims”, “mentions”, et al instead of repetitive “saids”.
8634313
Well thank you very much for spotting that mistake because no one else did.
8634321
I’ll get off that habit one day since I haven’t been writing for a long time.