Equestria Babies

Equestria Babies Fan Club2 stories ·4 members

A story about the mane 7 in EG turning into babies, with only Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna and Spike the dog, to take care of them.

Request from: https://www.fimfiction.net/user/Psalty123

Note: This is my first EG story. And i'm not sure if i'll make another one.

WARNING: CONTAINS REGRESSION, DIAPERS, AND DIAPER USAGE. IF THESE DO NOT PLEASE YOU THAN PLEASE REFRAIN FROM READING.

Chapters (8)

Chapter 1- Sci-Twi · 6th Dec 2017 · 5,932 words
5,932
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Chapter 2- Sunset Shimmer · 6th Dec 2017 · 1,486 words
1,486
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Chapter 3- Fluttershy · 6th Dec 2017 · 731 words
731
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Chapter 4- Rainbow Dash · 6th Dec 2017 · 968 words
968
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Chapter 5- Rarity · 6th Dec 2017 · 918 words
918
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Chapter 6- Applejack · 6th Dec 2017 · 1,162 words
1,162
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Chapter 7- Pinkie Pie · 6th Dec 2017 · 3,011 words
3,011
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Chapter 8- The Plan · 6th Dec 2017 · 1,361 words
1,361
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Comments ( 39 )

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Comment posted by Psalty123 deleted Jan 29th, 2018

Comment posted by TwilieTheFoal deleted Jan 29th, 2018

Shadowmane PX-41

Shadowmane PX-41 #3 · Dec 6th, 2017 · 1 · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

It could use some touching up in a lot of places, but executed right, this could be a good fic.

But, and this comes as a friendly tip for everyone on this site: DO NOT POST YOUR TWIST IN THE STORY DESCRIPTION. IT KILLS THE ATMOSPHERE AND LOWERS OUR EXPECTATIONS. KEEP. YOUR. AUDIENCE. GUESSING.

TwilieTheFoal

TwilieTheFoal #4 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592645
Thanks. I fixed that.

Shadowmane PX-41

Shadowmane PX-41 #5 · Dec 6th, 2017 · 1 · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592656
The same can be said with your narration. Don’t just repeat or reveal everything that’s happened or is going to happen in the narration; especially in your last chapters. It does NOT make for a good read.

TwilieTheFoal

TwilieTheFoal #6 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592657
Thanks. I tried to fix it. Hopefully it's a bit better than before.

Shadowmane PX-41

Shadowmane PX-41 #7 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592674
You’e repeating or telling us stuff you’re supposed to keep a secret until the last chapters in “The Plan.” PLEASE STOP THIS.

Comment posted by Psalty123 deleted Jan 29th, 2018

Shadowmane PX-41

Shadowmane PX-41 #9 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592724
I know. That’s where he’s giving away everything.

TwilieTheFoal

TwilieTheFoal #10 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592692
Alright, how about now? I'm really glad that you're giving me advice or whatever.

TwilieTheFoal

TwilieTheFoal #11 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592726
I AM A GIRL!

Shadowmane PX-41

Shadowmane PX-41 #12 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592729

In the basement, under CHS, there was the mad scientist Dr. Regressor, who was planning to rule the earth using the magic from all of the girls necklaces. He was the one responsible for regressing the mane 7. But, he only did that to distract Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna. And right now, he was studying the magic inside each necklace. The first one he was studying was Sunset Shimmer's, for, it's magic is the most powerful. The magic from her necklace was the one that gave off the strongest vibes and signals, meaning that Sunset Shimmer's power is something incredibly powerful. The scientist took out a few monitors and hooked them up to Sunset's necklace, the readings were off the chart. Dr. Regressor touched her necklace with his hand and after, his eyes glowed with white and he was able to see what Sunset Shimmer's powers were. And as far as he could see, Sunset Shimmer was able to see peoples thoughts and memories by touching another persons arm. He then, let go of the necklace and went back to normal, his eyes no longer glowed white, turning back into his regular, light yellow eyes.

This entire first paragraph is like a Where’s Waldo page of writing no-no’s...

Feel free to get an editor and/or proofreader...

TwilieTheFoal

TwilieTheFoal #13 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592732
I have no clue what you're trying to say.

TwilieTheFoal

TwilieTheFoal #14 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8592732
Please explain.

Shadowmane PX-41

Shadowmane PX-41 #15 · Dec 6th, 2017 · 1 · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8594002
I’ll highlight everything that needs to be fixed:

In the basement, under CHS, there was the mad scientist Dr. Regressor, who was planning to rule the earth using the magic from all of the girls necklaces. He was the one responsible for regressing the mane 7. But, he only did that to distract Principal Celestia and Vice Principal Luna. And right now, he was studying the magic inside each necklace. The first one he was studying was Sunset Shimmer's, for, it's magic is the most powerful. The magic from her necklace was the one that gave off the strongest vibes and signals, meaning that Sunset Shimmer's power is something incredibly powerful. The scientist took out a few monitors and hooked them up to Sunset's necklace, the readings were off the chartS. Dr. Regressor touched her necklace with his hand and after, his eyes glowed with white and he was able to see what Sunset Shimmer's powers were. And as far as he could see, Sunset Shimmer was able to see peoples thoughts and memories by touching another persons arm. He then, let go of the necklace and went back to normal, his eyes no longer glowed white, turning back into his regular, light yellow eyes.

Either re-word or delete those words.

TwilieTheFoal

TwilieTheFoal #16 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8594013
Alright. Give it a look now and tell me anything else.

Shadowmane PX-41

Shadowmane PX-41 #17 · Dec 6th, 2017 · · · Chapter 8- The Plan ·

8594025

This levitation can come in handy.

That will provide an excellent source of protection.

It seems that Applejack had super strength. Interesting.

Not what he was hoping for, but ok.

Dash had super speed. That could be very useful.

Looks like, that she uses sprinkle cylinders to use as little bombs, that glow pink after she's touched it, and then explode when she throws them. Weird.

THIS. THIS will get you story downvotes.

TwilieTheFoal