Misery is Company

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Princess Luna not wanting to attend the Grand Galloping Gala has Princess Celestia worried about her sister more than it should.

The cover art belongs to Lulubell and all credit goes to them. Takes place before 'The Best Night Ever'. Buy this story! Contribute to the TVTropes page!

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Comments ( 10 )

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The Phantom Joker

The Phantom Joker #1 · May 1st, 2017 · · ·

Autumn Wind

Autumn Wind #2 · May 2nd, 2017 · · 2 ·

If I may offer some constructive criticism: You should really consider trying to cut your sentences a little shorter. There's a pretty significant issue with run-on sentences here.

For example:

"The weeks after the Summer Sun Celebration had been relatively quiet ones in many ways, and this morning had proven to be a particularly tranquil one thus far."

This feels a bit redundant because you're using 'quiet' and then 'tranquil' in the same sentence. You could achieve the same impact while keeping the sentence shorter and punchier:

"The weeks after the Summer Sun Celebration had been relatively quiet; this morning particularly so."

Fully rewording aside, I suggest just watching out for unnecessary adverbs and qualifiers:

"The weeks after the Summer Sun Celebration had been relatively quiet ones ~~in many ways~~, and this morning had proven to be a particularly tranquil one ~~thus far~~."

I encourage you to go over your work again with this in mind. As is, you present a very heavy style of writing which is, I'm afraid to say, exhausting to read.

Ice Star

Ice Star #3 · May 2nd, 2017 · · ·

8134386 Thanks for the corrections! I'm always looking to improve these things, so every bit of feedback helps.

Lunastar2099

Lunastar2099 #4 · May 12th, 2017 · · ·

Dame it celestia tell luna what's on your mind and stop with the ho wo is me it's sick and tiering.

DarknessNSM

DarknessNSM #5 · Jun 19th, 2017 · 1 · ·

love!!

Ice Star

Ice Star #6 · Jun 19th, 2017 · 1 · ·

8243453
Thank you!

DarknessNSM

DarknessNSM #7 · Jun 19th, 2017 · 1 · ·

8243475
no prob, i will read your other stories soon to!!

Rune Soldier Dan

Rune Soldier Dan #8 · Mar 9th, 2020 · 2 · ·

in a silence that the younger mare couldn't help but enjoy.

This was a great end, and a really good story for one so short. A calm little, "introverts aren't miserable, just leave us alone." Definitely now my fave of yours.

Ice Star